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   Men don't settle down. They surrender. (Page 1)

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Author Topic:   Men don't settle down. They surrender.
FruitTreeFresh
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posted September 10, 2013 11:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FruitTreeFresh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Now I know this post is going to get many naysayers from men but I do feel that some men just only stay on with women who can trap them.

By trapping techniques, they are
1) clingy
2) seduction
3) make his friends her friends
4) make him feel lonely

Your opinion on this?

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Kerosene
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posted September 11, 2013 12:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOL this post..
Hmmmm Well they're always looking for the main bottom-***** ...

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Padre35
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posted September 11, 2013 12:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Somewhat true, actually, most men have -0- clue about that sort of thing and are easily manipulated.

My opinion is even if that works, look at the "man" who is landed with those approaches..one who does not know what he wants in a partner and more or less was led by the nose into the relationship.

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FruitTreeFresh
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posted September 11, 2013 12:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for FruitTreeFresh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Or maybe it's Cancer moon factor.

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somethingexcellent
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posted September 11, 2013 01:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for somethingexcellent     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
By trapping techniques, they are
1) clingy
2) seduction
3) make his friends her friends
4) make him feel lonely

That just sounds like emotional manipulation. I soooo so disagree because that paints women to seem like these weird relationship vampires who will make your life worse so you will stay. I don't think normal women do that - why, do you do that? That's terrible and you should stop. Not healthy man.

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Kerosene
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posted September 11, 2013 02:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A lot of men can be the same way..

Some relationships just end up like that, where the couple is solely focused on each other...
However couples like that are just awful..

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Odette
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posted September 11, 2013 02:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It depends on culture and rearing.
This implies that men are adverse to getting married, which is just a classic generalisation.
Some people want to get married and have a family more than others. It depends a great deal on their own parents and the values they were taught growing up.

I'm a woman who has never been taught that its a positive thing to get married. I've seen my parents go through several divorces. My grandparents (on both sides) were not all that happy in their marriages either.. and I received a pretty clear message that marriage is kind of "meh"...
I was generally told to focus on my career (over and over and over again) - by every family member I have... but my Moon is in Capricorn.

It depends soooo much on the person's chart and upbringing!!! Some men would just love to have a family. I've had two proposals so far.. and I didn't manipulate either of them.

Marriage should be about meeting the right person... but sadly it's often just about getting married for the sake of being married and having kids, as well as financial/status reasons and social acceptance. And many men & women think it's just the right thing to do after a certain age.
Men generally get married somewhat later in life then women.
The kind of scenario you painted, with the woman "trapping" the man... is a scenario where:

- they are the same or very close in age (as opposed to the guy being older)
- they often do not have all that much love or chemistry between them, but the woman wants to marry anyway for social reasons
- they have incompatible life stories, where the woman grew up with a very traditional take on things.. parents who encourage and twist her hand into marriage etc - whereas the man had a similar life story to my own (so he doesn't have a "happy" idea of marriage)
- they are at very different points in their career. The woman is ready to take on this commitment - and possibly have children, whereas the man is not at an age where he is comfortable with that (this goes back to point 1!)

I think that's about it ^^...

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Zander916
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posted September 11, 2013 02:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Zander916     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
A lot of men can be the same way..

Some relationships just end up like that, where the couple is solely focused on each other...
However couples like that are just awful..


Exactly.

I see it a lot. I've done it myself. It's sad because they kind of lose their individuality in a lot of cases.

I agree with Odette too!

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Kerosene
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posted September 11, 2013 02:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^
Yup I've been there too.
High school was so stupid and dramatic and I just wanted to escape into the relationship.

After it was over I could not really function for awhile, I got really awkward and shy.
I did have a few good friends thou, I was lucky!
It took my years to rebuild my personality.

Oh yeah odette made good points.

My family and extended always talks about marriage, when are you getting married Kerosene?
Do you have a girlfriend?
Why don't you have a girlfriend?

Marriage seems a little outdated for me, but I am very relationship oriented.

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aquaguy91
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posted September 11, 2013 02:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Men can't be trapped

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FruitTreeFresh
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posted September 11, 2013 03:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for FruitTreeFresh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
That just sounds like emotional manipulation. I soooo so disagree because that paints women to seem like these weird relationship vampires who will make your life worse so you will stay. I don't think normal women do that - why, do you do that? That's terrible and you should stop. Not healthy man.

No no I don't do that. I'm a VV. But I have seen people did before.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted September 11, 2013 06:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Trap with what? What leads to the said trapping? Surely one had to be incentivized before "surrendering?"

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FruitTreeFresh
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posted September 11, 2013 07:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for FruitTreeFresh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
A lot of men can be the same way..

Some relationships just end up like that, where the couple is solely focused on each other...
However couples like that are just awful..


Ihaven't seen men doing that the other way round. That would be pervertic.

@YTA, I'm referring to men being trapped emotionally into these situations. They need these women that they couldn't get rid of and surrender.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted September 11, 2013 08:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by FruitTreeFresh:
@YTA, I'm referring to men being trapped emotionally into these situations. They need these women that they couldn't get rid of and surrender.

I don't doubt that happens, but it nevertheless sounds bizarre to me. I guess I'm too much of an arrogant sob to be entrapped by any woman. I can be ensnared by choice, but enslaved is a different story.

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PixieJane
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posted September 11, 2013 08:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can't believe such women would have any respect at all for the men they trap, which begs the question of what she's really after (selfish obsession as opposed to love? Cash cow?) and/or if she has any respect for herself believing the only way to get and keep a man is to take away his choice in the manner and, more importantly, if she believes no man could want her of his own free will. (And if she used such tactics I'd hope any man I care about got such a toxic woman out of his life for good.) Her "seduction" technique is that of a virus taking over cells!

Btw, I have seen it done. I've seen men do it, too (with the one difference that such a man tries to make her lose her friends rather than make her friends his own). It's sad (and sometimes disturbing to downright scary) to see either way. And I just remembered a girl I knew was murdered by her clingy, seductive boyfriend who made her lose all her friends (including me, she talked to me but only while with him as he forced her to be his shadow). Even after he had her all to himself a guy talked to her and after the guy left he dragged her off, yelled at her for talking to him before stabbing her to death. Scary stuff.

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CatMote
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posted September 11, 2013 09:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CatMote     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
its not so much that they are dumb and dont know they are manipulated, its that they KNOW they are manipulated but ACCEPT it. so, because the accept it, they are in turn possibly letting the love happen? love can be a game, and sometimes people just love games.

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Sun Aries Moon Pisces
Mars Pisces Venus Pisces
Mercury Aries Jupiter in Virgo
Saturn in Aquarius Pluto in Scorpio
Neptune and Uranus in Capricorn
Ascendant Libra

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FruitTreeFresh
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posted September 11, 2013 09:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for FruitTreeFresh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:

Btw, I have seen it done. I've seen men do it, too (with the one difference that such a man tries to make her lose her friends rather than make her friends his own). It's sad (and sometimes disturbing to downright scary) to see either way. And I just remembered a girl I knew was murdered by her clingy, seductive boyfriend who made her lose all her friends (including me, she talked to me but only while with him as he forced her to be his shadow). Even after he had her all to himself a guy talked to her and after the guy left he dragged her off, yelled at her for talking to him before stabbing her to death. Scary stuff.

That is really enslaved.

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Kerosene
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posted September 11, 2013 01:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by FruitTreeFresh:
Ihaven't seen men doing that the other way round. That would be pervertic.

@YTA, I'm referring to men being trapped emotionally into these situations. They need these women that they couldn't get rid of and surrender.


Who said men were not perverted, hello?!?!?

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Diplopoda
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posted September 11, 2013 02:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diplopoda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You know what happens to mice in mousetraps? some get it better than others

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Randall
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posted September 11, 2013 03:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with the OP's subject line.

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Padre35
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posted September 11, 2013 05:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

The more poignant question for men:

-What advantage for men is there in getting married?

-What advantage for men is there in being a monogamous relationship?

TBH, organically I do not see many advantages for men in either scenario.

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mockingbird
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posted September 11, 2013 07:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mockingbird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
JFC, you all are a jaded bunch.

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FruitTreeFresh
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posted September 11, 2013 08:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FruitTreeFresh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Who said men were not perverted, hello?!?!?

Hahaha! Pervertic in a social path way.

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FruitTreeFresh
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posted September 11, 2013 08:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FruitTreeFresh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Who said men were not perverted, hello?!?!?

Hahaha! Pervertic in a social path way.

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Randall
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posted September 11, 2013 08:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Women have wedding showers. For men, it's curtains!

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