posted September 22, 2013 07:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Do you ever feel that way?

How do you stop those thoughts from coming into your head?

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I hear you. Does your Sun or Moon make a close aspect to Saturn?

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted September 22, 2013 08:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Do you ever feel that way?

How do you stop those thoughts from coming into your head?

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Sometimes, when I was much younger. Coz no one really showed me love back then.

I stopped those thoughts by having hopes. I thought to myself "Well there are billions of people in this world, at least one of them will love me. I just have to keep searching. Lol my life won't suck that bad". Or "Eventually I'll have people tripping over themselves wanting to love me, lol".

Yeah I pretty much just laughed at my own thoughts, kept my hopes and loved myself as much as I could.

posted September 22, 2013 10:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Do you ever feel that way?

How do you stop those thoughts from coming into your head?

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posted September 22, 2013 11:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Do you ever feel that way?

How do you stop those thoughts from coming into your head?

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You can't stop them.

posted September 22, 2013 11:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Do you ever feel that way?

How do you stop those thoughts from coming into your head?

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I feel this way, now. I have heard it growing up, I hear it every time I get rejected or turned down. I hear it when I am lonely, when I am tired, sad and frustrated. Which is most of the time, lately.

posted September 22, 2013 11:43 AM            

I was sitting here today trying to wrap my mind around that idea and then you just said it.

I feel kind of on the verge of it.

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted September 22, 2013 05:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
I feel this way, now. I have heard it growing up, I hear it every time I get rejected or turned down. I hear it when I am lonely, when I am tired, sad and frustrated. Which is most of the time, lately.

In truth, we wouldn't need another person to validate our worthiness to be loved if we could just love ourselves.

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posted September 23, 2013 07:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SDragon:
If those thoughts are coming in, you don't need to stop them but you do need to realize they're not true.

And then you need to try to understand why you think that. I didn't think I thought that, but it wasn't until I hit 26 that I truly understood that I believed it due to my childhood experiences. Once you understand the cause the thoughts will disappear on their own.

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quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Perhaps it's incumbent on yourselves to also be open to others as much as you wish those you desire would not reject you. Or otherwise swear to be content and not give too much of a sh1t whether you have anyone else. Loneliness is just a state of mind.

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I understand where you are coming from, but I disagree slightly. Lonliness is also a state of feeling. I'm not saying that everyone is co-dependent emotionally, or that they should be. Nor am I saying independence is a bad thing, because it isn't, it is a good thing. People are built differently, and have different needs that need to be fulfilled. I feel that for some people, companionship is important. I do understand that it is important to recognise that lonliness can be stronger if you worry about it.

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
I feel this way, now. I have heard it growing up, I hear it every time I get rejected or turned down. I hear it when I am lonely, when I am tired, sad and frustrated. Which is most of the time, lately.

In truth, we wouldn't need another person to validate our worthiness to be loved if we could just love ourselves.

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We can love ourselves, and there is so much to love about ourselves. For example, I love that I write songs, whether other people enjoy them or not. I hope that some of them touch people the way that songs I have listened to have touched me.
I would venture that >95% of people at the places I work think I am wonderful, helpful, and lovely. I tend to think I'm a little shy, and I used to wonder, and still do sometimes, why they seem to love me so much. I just accept it now, and try not to think about the why.
I remember many years ago, I asked someone why they liked me and what my attractive qualities were. Surprisingly I got an honest answer, and it really helped me get a better understanding of how others see me. Smile, sense of humour, personality, my mind etc. I've asked a couple of my friends out of curiosity but they haven't been as forthcoming, mostly saying they love that I am honest and passionate about the things I love.

If you look at yourself Hera, I believe you are a Surgeon? (This is where I look silly if I'm wrong ) I think that is something to love, that you have the skill and desire to help save and make a difference to people's lives. I am sure there are many other things as well.

There may be things that we may not like, or that may make us unhappy.
We tend to focus on these, rather than the positives, which are often more plentiful and have a greater impact.

Grab a stack of post it notes, write down on each one, an individual positive; trait, quality, feature, or something in your life. It can be anything, from as simple as, I have beautiful eyes, or, I have a wonderful smile.
Write this on a post it note and put the note somewhere you will read it every day, preferably twice. Maybe on your mirror, or on your bedroom door so you read it when you wake up and when you go to sleep.
Start small and then when new positive traits/characteristics become apparent to you, through yourself or others, write them down and put them up as well.

I did this many years ago, I created a file on my computer, cause I'm such a nerd, and slowly filled it with the positive things I saw in myself, and that others saw in me. I read it every day and it really helped me to understand that actually, I'm pretty okay.

Maybe it is something akin to body dysmorphia, except it is mental or personality dyspmorphia. That the view we hold of ourselves, is skewed and something we have to deal with.

Maybe it can be so bad, that we seek other people to tell us that our own views of ourselves are accurate, and if their views contradict ours, we immediately dismiss them and tell them they are wrong. So we go and seek out someone else to confirm, our often times wrong and negative views of ourselves.
Conversely I am sure it happens to people who have an over inflated view of themselves. They go and seek out people to affirm their own opinions of themselves, dismissing and ignoring anyone who doesn't hold the same opinion. Instead seeking out people who do confirm that they are indeed amazing.

What I think is even more fascinating, is that we often times have wrong perceptions of other people as well as ourselves. Maybe that is something that comes from a subjective existence. Perhaps we all walk around, don't remember events correctly, and make up our own realities.

I don't have an answer for any of this. It is after all a journey. Learning to trust ourselves that we are great, is a hard thing to do.

Am I happy being by myself? I don't know about happy. I am okay with being by myself. Would it be better if I had someone to share with? Yeah I feel it would, someone to share laughs and smiles with, to share tears and sadness with, to share hopes, dreams, and fears with, and to share love with.

Am I going to condemn myself for not having anyone currently? Am I going to worry that I am not good enough or that no one will ever love me? Where will all that get me? So no, I won't let it consume me, I won't let it worry me.
I am unique. Quite simply there is no one else like me, and this is the single most attractive quality in any person.

My Sister has a new tattoo, she had it done a week or two ago. It reads; We accept the love we think we deserve.

I'm sure I have more to say but I think I will take some time to mull it over.

Edit

posted September 23, 2013 02:06 PM            

Hi. How are you? Would you like to help me, please?

posted September 23, 2013 02:22 PM            

I understand this is put down a little black & white, but wasn't thinking of typing an essay, lol.
So I'm very much with what Swift says.

posted September 23, 2013 02:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Jessica2407,

Hi. How are you? Would you like to help me, please?

OP: I'm sorry for crashing your thread. Just contacting Jessica, that's all.

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Sure YTA.

posted September 23, 2013 03:07 PM            

Self love is neither selfish, nor depressing. In fact, during my happiest months after I recovered from depression, I was happy because I was at peace with myself. I was single just like I am now. I had the same busy and demanding job that I've been having for years (yup, Swift, I am a surgeon). My boss and I still don't see eye to eye and there is always some sort of conflict around me. I wasn't talking to my family back then, either. The difference is there was no inner conflict back then, I was content with the person I was and able to appreciate the good things about myself and my life. I was grateful for what I had and little things used to make me laugh out loud. I didn't need to hear that people loved me but guess what, I attracted people to me because I was happy and people did like me because I made them feel good, about themselves. It all starts within and it all ends within.

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This girl is on FIRE

LOVE, because what else is worth living for, and dying for?!

posted September 23, 2013 03:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jessica2407:
Sure YTA.

What's up?

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I'm going to carry this convo somewhere else, but basically I have a vedic reading from some local source. I would like to e-mail it to you for your review, if you are so inclined. No real questions, just trying to tie in with everything you have said. But I need some sort of generic/anonymous e-mail if that is the case. I can't copy and paste a 50 page PDF file. Subsequent to this, if necessary, I will start a new thread in Personal Readings. Many thanks.

posted September 23, 2013 03:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'm going to carry this convo somewhere else, but basically I have a vedic reading from some local source. I would like to e-mail it to you for your review, if you are so inclined. No real questions, just trying to tie in with everything you have said. But I need some sort of generic/anonymous e-mail if that is the case. I can't copy and paste a 50 page PDF file. Subsequent to this, if necessary, I will start a new thread in Personal Readings. Many thanks.

OP: my most sincere apologies.

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