posted October 01, 2013 07:24 PM            

Our father left us at a young age and she was deeply affected since she was deeply attached to him. A few years later, he's still mucking around with drugs, a woman half his age, and not showing up when he invites us to dinner. Does she love him? You better believe it. She still misses him after all this time and she's had trouble functioning.

If that's not love, then what? Infatuation? Does she miss the idea of him? She doesn't respect him, that's for sure. She says she never wants to make any mistakes like him, thinks it's so sad and such a waste that a man as smart as him now lives out of the poor part of town.

So explain to me how you can't love someone you don't respect. Please, because I think my sister loves her dad even if she's disappointed and angry at his decisions.

posted October 02, 2013 06:30 PM            

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Originally posted by Hera:
Same here, for me. I think other people did love me, but didn't respect me or my boundaries. My father comes to mind. Not acceptable, unfortunately.

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posted October 02, 2013 07:32 PM            

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Originally posted by Blackbird:
And what is love? Each of us might define it differently, and we feel/have/give love to different people in different ways.

respect
(transitive verb):
1. to feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.
2. to avoid violation or interference with.

(noun)
1. a feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem.
2. the state of being regarded with honor or esteem.
3. willingness to show consideration or appreciation.

Related...

deference
(noun)
1. respectful yielding to the opinion, wishes or judgment of another.

My personal adaptation or definition of "respect": to assume that people are good, and that their opinions are valid, unless proven otherwise; to avoid imposing my will on them, and to let them be their own persons. To acknowledge their identity, uniqueness and experiences.

I could summarize "respect" with one word:
humility.

LOVE
(transitive verb)
1. to have a great attachment to and affection for.
2. to have passionate desire, longing, and feelings for.

Hmm. I've never been in love before. I guess my personal definition of love is unusual: complete respect and trust, devotion, service and self-sacrifice. My mother told me, "love is an act, not a feeling". Saying "I love you" is easy. Anyone can do that. Words are cheap. Demonstrating and proving love is a challenge, and it takes time.

I seem to have a rather "biblical" definition of love. My parents raised me in the church, so that's not a surprise.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

To me, love is the sum of every positive feeling or hope one person can have for another. To love someone is to want the best for them, and to be willing to set aside one's own desires to help bring them the best.

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I like what you're saying...worth repeating and quoting in big, bold type.

Have you read The Road Less Traveled: A Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth by M. Scott Peck, M.D.? I really like his definition of LOve...

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I define love thus: "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth.

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Still your 'bait-less' Scorponic ways elude me, Blackbird...especially since you didn't mention anything about 'hooks' and well you know, with all due respect and no offense intended, but those Scorpion tails look quite scary & hook-like. Anyways, I was writing a poem to remind me of something in the future and was wondering...do you think CATCH AND RELEASE rhymes with SEXY BEAST? Just curious about your thoughts on that? I can, however, wholeheartedly understand needing to cut the loneliness once in a while.

BTW I read an article in Oct/Nov 2013 issue of The Mountain Astrologer that reminded me of you...lots of "spy plane kind of stuff" and oodles of "Scorpio Sun, Gemini Moon: Men in Black" stuff. I think you'd enjoy the article more than most, so I'll try to scan and post it...hopefully it won't be too small to read. (I wish we could attach files, like .pdf's to posts here.)

posted October 03, 2013 02:51 PM            

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Originally posted by HRH-FishAreFish:
Still your 'bait-less' Scorponic ways elude me, Blackbird... especially since you didn't mention anything about 'hooks' and well you know, with all due respect and no offense intended, but those Scorpion tails look quite scary & hook-like.

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No bait here, no hooks. I think love should be a selfless thing. No expectation of being loved in return, no expectation of gifts, gestures, words or anything else.

That's just my definition. I'm not perfect. If or when I fall in love, my feelings and expressions of those feelings will probably not be perfect or selfless. But that's the goal, I guess -- to love selflessly.

quote:

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Anyways, I was writing a poem to remind me of something in the future and was wondering...do you think CATCH AND RELEASE rhymes with SEXY BEAST? Just curious about your thoughts on that? I can, however, wholeheartedly understand needing to cut the loneliness once in a while.

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They rhyme. The meters don't quite match, but a creative poet (or songwriter) could probably come up with something.

Love has to start somewhere. I hope it's not a crime or a sin to seek companionship and love out of loneliness... I'm guilty.

quote:

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BTW I read an article in Oct/Nov 2013 issue of The Mountain Astrologer that reminded me of you...lots of "spy plane kind of stuff" and oodles of "Scorpio Sun, Gemini Moon: Men in Black" stuff. I think you'd enjoy the article more than most, so I'll try to scan and post it...hopefully it won't be too small to read. (I wish we could attach files, like .pdf's to posts here.)

LOve & Light ,
HRH

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Thank you for thinking about me. Yes, those are some of the things that fascinate me... futuristic jets, conspiracy theories...

/sing Here come the Men in Black
Galaxy defenders
Here come the Men in Black
They won't let you remember

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Everyone is unique. The chart is a template. Experiences matter too.
Sun signs don't tell the whole story. Every sign has good and bad traits.
Evolved, mature people will show more of the good traits of their signs.