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Author
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Topic: I'm not that sure anymore
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I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4087
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 08, 2013 10:19 PM
  
So...I used to think I was far from being asexual but after I read some time ago an article on this subject I'm not that sure anymore. It said you can be asexual even if you have libido and can reach orgasm. The critical point is the desire to have sex with another person. Some people's sex drive is never directed at anyone.I can't think of anybody that made me feel like having sex with them, at least in real life (lusting for actors doesn't count I guess  ). Not that I would act on it, anyway. I've experienced slight attraction but that was mostly with strangers I came across. The 2 guys I made out with...That was totally pointless and stupid, I hardly even enjoyed it. What do you think about my case? I'm not panicking btw, I'm just trying to figure it out. ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 50806
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 08, 2013 10:31 PM
How old are you Cappy dear?------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4087
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 08, 2013 10:35 PM
22, why?------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 50806
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 08, 2013 10:40 PM
Well, this question from a 40 year old would be one thing and from a 22 year old a complete other thing.
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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4087
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 08, 2013 11:18 PM
If I were 40 I guess I would formulate it in a slightly different way. To be honest, I suspect I would need to develop strong feelings first to have a true desire to let someone conjunct my private parts  But I'm not even sure if I can fall in love.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Zander916
Knowflake Posts: 1070
From: Midwest
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted October 09, 2013 01:30 AM
Don't worry. I knew a woman that I used to work with. At the time she was about 19-20 years old. People, all of her friends included, wondered if she were a closet lesbian. She didn't seem to show interest in anybody. Lots of guys pursued her, myself included.
Then, a guy came along when she was around your age. 22-23. They got married in 2005 and are still together. She just had to find the right guy for her and she simply didn't have any urge to explore. She wanted the grand prize first time. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3204
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted October 09, 2013 02:32 AM
I'm 27 and not interested in sex with anyone I do not know well, like *really* well - in depth, inside and out.
I'm demisexual, not aseuxal. I have no attraction towards famous people, because they are strangers and we have no emotional connection. I can find them good-looking in the way I would see a painting as beautiful, but it's not sexual. I can also admire their acting or singing (or writing) skills.. and I can like their personality as it comes across in interviews etc.. but it's all platonic. I basically feel no sexual sparks, without an emotional connection. It's like I'm dead downstairs - no impulse whatsoever. If you would actually want to have sex with those famous guys - and you find them attractive.. and you are also attracted towards strangers you came across.. then I would think you might not be asexual. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 50806
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 09, 2013 05:51 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Zander916:
Don't worry. I knew a woman that I used to work with. At the time she was about 19-20 years old. People, all of her friends included, wondered if she were a closet lesbian. She didn't seem to show interest in anybody. Lots of guys pursued her, myself included.
Then, a guy came along when she was around your age. 22-23. They got married in 2005 and are still together. She just had to find the right guy for her and she simply didn't have any urge to explore. She wanted the grand prize first time.
Great post, Tony! ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4087
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 09, 2013 10:41 AM
Thanks for your feedback guys. quote:
Don't worry.
I don't, I'm actually starting to find it all amusing. I'm weirder than it's legal. quote:
She wanted the grand prize first time.
Yeah, that would be nice...I don't count on being with my first partner for my whole life but I do want the whole package. Wait, what partner?  Never mind, relationships are another story. quote:
If you would actually want to have sex with those famous guys - and you find them attractive.. and you are also attracted towards strangers you came across.. then I would think you might not be asexual.
Fantasy is one thing, reality is another. Besides, having a crush helps  I don't know if I would be attracted to them at all in real life or to what extend. Anyway, I'm no groupie material. I don't think I could have casual sex no matter how hot I would find someone. That would probably feel like self-violation to me. And by the slight attraction I meant noticing how handsome the guy is and feeling a little intimidated. No getting them naked in my mind.
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I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy.
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Faith
Moderator Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted October 09, 2013 08:08 PM
I can relate~ when I was young, I wasn't interested in "going there" either. Not at all. But then I absolutely loved my high school boyfriend, and one by one the walls just fell.A natural progression of things.  I enjoyed it, it was "perfect," but you know what? The break-up took me so long to recover from, I regard that whole relationship as tragic. It's like, would you accept the opportunity to go to some tropical island for an all-expense paid month long vacation, knowing that you'd pick up some strange infection the last day and suffer with it for years? That was my experience with young love. I think many Cap women wisely hold off or, um, preserve ourselves, waiting for someone who seems like they will stay for a long time. Caps don't want to make a bad emotional investment, since we prefer to give our all, and never want to do things halfheartedly or in a mediocre way. I was very careful but still lost the gamble, so I actually admire people who are more conservative and careful than I was.
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I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4087
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 09, 2013 08:32 PM
Your post touched me, thank you. quote:
I think many Cap women wisely hold off or, um, preserve ourselves, waiting for someone who seems like they will stay for a long time. Caps don't want to make a bad emotional investment, since we prefer to give our all, and never want to do things halfheartedly or in a mediocre way.
I can totally relate.
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I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted October 09, 2013 10:11 PM
'Welcome! IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3204
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted October 11, 2013 06:28 AM
Cappy - quote:
I don't think I could have casual sex no matter how hot I would find someone. That would probably feel like self-violation to me.
I do understand that. Many people are conservative about sex.
I have nothing against casual sex, so it definitely would not feel like self-violation to me.
I'm strongly against slu*t -shaming as well: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/**** -shaming From my perspective having casual sex is not morally wrong at all.. and I have no religious views against it either. Actually, I could very easily do it, but there is no point since the thought of this is not a turn-on for me.
Different people have different kinks... and as a demisexual - on a physical level - I wouldn't get anything out of casual sex. It's just 'meh' to me - like a dish you neither love nor hate.. complete neutrality. I'm mentioning all this because sometimes people say asexuality doesn't exist at all.. and that for example, people who would identify with being demisexual are lying - and they are actually just very conservative and have something against casual sex.
lol
But this is not the case!! IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4087
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 11, 2013 10:15 AM
I don't think casual sex is wrong. I'm more tolerant than I probably seem. I even used to watch porn, would you believe it?  I just know that it's not for ME. I really doubt I would fully enjoy it, or at least enough to start doing in on a regular basis. Damn, I get nauseous just when I think of really doing it. I don't need more regrets in my life...Especially when it comes to my first time. I want sex to blow my mind. All or nothing ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
blueskiez06
Knowflake Posts: 167
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted October 11, 2013 12:29 PM
IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3204
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted October 11, 2013 10:40 PM
quote:
I get nauseous just when I think of really doing it.
Cappy - If you don't think casual sex is morally wrong - then why do you feel nauseous about it - and like it would be a self-violation? If you see casual sex in a negative light and you withhold for that reason (even when you find someone hot).... this is not the same as being asexual. Anyhoo - you can identify with whatever you feel fits your personality/behaviour best.. If you feel like you are asexual that's cool. You were saying in this thread that you're not sure.. I'm only asking these things to help you figure it out.
If you don't want to answer because it's too personal - don't worry about it! IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4087
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 11, 2013 10:56 PM
I suppose I react that way because I believe it would hurt me emotionally. I need more than a hot body. I hope I'm being clear this time.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
blueskiez06
Knowflake Posts: 167
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted October 11, 2013 11:01 PM
quote:
Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
I need more than a hot body. I hope I'm being clear this time.
cappies take time to thaw and warm up, they're like super 
u r still young though, cap sun, 5th house cap,many aspects can be an indication for "freezing", saturn sure can cool it... IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4087
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 11, 2013 11:04 PM
I don't know. I've never been close enough to anyone to seriously consider sex. Maybe fantasy is all I really need I just remembered something. I noticed that when I get emotionless my libido dies and I become indifferent to anything related to sex. So if I decided to have casual sex and happened to shut down myself either intentionally or not - that would be a distaster, not sex, even then :/ ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6574
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted October 11, 2013 11:32 PM
I don't know. You strike me as pretty frigid. Someone hurt you real bad? IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4087
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 11, 2013 11:36 PM
quote:
You strike me as pretty frigid.
 That was the sweetest compliment I've ever gotten, thank you. And go to hell now, you made me get emotional!  ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6574
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted October 11, 2013 11:59 PM
What's the difference. Already in hell anyway. But at least I haven't frozen over.IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 8005
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted October 12, 2013 12:41 AM
So what do you do when you find yourself in an intimate situation?Have you ever been in one? IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3204
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted October 12, 2013 05:54 AM
quote:
wouldn't that make you demi cappy?
Going by that statement alone.. not really - since demi just means you could care less about hot bodies in general..
So it's not like you need a "hot body" *plus* something extra... like a nice personality.
It's more like you don't pay sexual-attention to people's bodies at all... and end up feeling attracted down the track - with some of the ones you've formed a strong emotional connection with.
So a demi wouldn't have the reaction that someone is sexually 'hot'... based on that person's appearance. They might think that person looks *good*.. but they wouldn't feel a sexual desire so they wouldn't describe them as hot. IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted October 12, 2013 08:35 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
What's the difference. Already in hell anyway. But at least I haven't frozen over.
No? This song is for all us Capricorns! Frozen   IP: Logged |
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