posted October 20, 2013 12:58 AM            

Being calm and collected are attributes needed to be a good lawyer. That and being able to look on the other side of the fence. All you do is blow off any suggestions that aren't in line with your train of thought (in a really rude way as well). This isn't the first thread you've done this...It's probably something you should work on?

posted October 20, 2013 01:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
It's nice when it happens - but it shouldn't be expected every single time.. and as I said it takes two to tango.. It is not one sided.. so a woman should also go the extra mile!!

Different people express themselves in different ways.

A lot of people with Venus Mars - in Capricorn like myself would prefer practical gifts to roses and chocolates. I have an ex with Cap Venus who is very similar to me in this regard.
I am not the most romantic person so I could care less about anything that seems like "fluff"..

This is not about me. I am just a person.
The point is - we should have more respect for individuality!!! Rather than assume 7 billion people will behave in the exact same pattern and by-pass their entire personality.

And as I said I don't agree with the crappy generalisations in many dating books - but this dating book in particular. It is FULL of them.
And they are BS and untrue. That is all.

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posted October 20, 2013 01:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Aqua....

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posted October 20, 2013 01:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Odette:
[b]It's nice when it happens - but it shouldn't be expected every single time.. and as I said it takes two to tango.. It is not one sided.. so a woman should also go the extra mile!!

Different people express themselves in different ways.

A lot of people with Venus Mars - in Capricorn like myself would prefer practical gifts to roses and chocolates. I have an ex with Cap Venus who is very similar to me in this regard.
I am not the most romantic person so I could care less about anything that seems like "fluff"..

This is not about me. I am just a person.
The point is - we should have more respect for individuality!!! Rather than assume 7 billion people will behave in the exact same pattern and by-pass their entire personality.

And as I said I don't agree with the crappy generalisations in many dating books - but this dating book in particular. It is FULL of them.
And they are BS and untrue. That is all.

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Yeah and I'm also speaking from experience.
Being passionate is one thing but insulting someone just because they don't agree is uncalled for. I mean your posts *radiated* aggression lol.

posted October 20, 2013 01:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
Yeah and I'm also speaking from experience.
Being passionate is one thing but insulting someone just because they don't agree is uncalled for.

Aquaguy91 you are so calm, I wanna learn your ways lol.

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posted October 20, 2013 01:29 AM            

But tbh I am very proud of my manner of expression and the passion in my heart. If you don't express certain things with some amount of aggression your point falls by the wayside.

If you personally feel bothered by the way I express myself I'll refrain from engaging in the future.

posted October 20, 2013 01:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Thank Thank you,
Atleast someone realizes it. The whole forum thinks I'm the mean and angry one lol.

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You? Angry and mean? Wtf are they smoking?

posted October 20, 2013 01:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Also Aqua guy and I have been down this merry go round several times on dating issues. Generally he is stubborn which many find frustrating.. so in my discussions with him I do tend to become more stubborn myself just to get my point across.

But tbh I am very proud of my manner of expression and the passion in my heart. If you don't express certain things with some amount of aggression your point falls by the wayside.

If you personally feel bothered by the way I express myself I'll refrain from engaging in the future.

More generally though...... seeing both sides of an issue is a great quality to have but when push comes to shove you have to use that knowledge to argue your own point - relentlessly.. Because if you don't 100% believe in your own argument no one else will either.

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It's not about being firm in your beliefs or backing down, it's just the way you go about it. It's rude and you talk about respect, but you weren't respecting the other member at all. If you behaved like this in real life as a lawyer, I'd think you'd have a lot to learn, and need a few years to mature alittle emotionally.

posted October 20, 2013 01:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
and I always win. I'm right so much that people think I'm a machine. I don't want to be a machine I want to be a human being.

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posted October 20, 2013 02:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Also Hapless - I was not born yesterday so if you think you are going to instigate... please don't waste your breath.
I am very happy with my studies, my marks and my general career choice which primarily involves something other than litigation

However - since you seem very interested in litigation yourself, you may find it interesting to watch or read some of Irving Younger's work on the matter.
He always emphasised the importance of confidence and passion in putting one's point across. He is the most well-respected and competent teacher of trial advocacy.

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You can speak with confidence and passion and not resort to insulting the other person. And I'm not implying you're young, I just think you lack empathy and seem to be very 'my way or the highway.'

Life isn't just about marks and what you'd achieved, it's also about basic human courtesy. Duh.

This is purely what I gather from your posts. I don't mean any harm, I just feel you may need to work on how you express yourself. Bc it left a bad taste in my mouth and I wasn't primarily who you were directing all your energy towards lol.

You didn't respect Aquaguy91 at all.

posted October 20, 2013 02:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
LOL Aqua! Shush... You don't even buy diapers for your baby!!!

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posted October 20, 2013 02:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
blue - do you find herbsman's post to not be common sense?

It is pasted in my previous post!

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uhmmm...K.... a lil' disclaimer, never read any of those books personally, i go by my heart, logic, intuition, maybe tarot n astrology never failed me >knocks on wood<... ... i am just sayin i happened to glance over the post on rules and they resonated

Odette hun i totally agree with ya, the herbsman guy is also right ... one can not generalize , but these "rules" were not written for nothing, certain cases they do apply an many a women woulda saved themselves a lot a time and energy wondering, if i had a nickel for everygoshdarn time one of my girlfriends in highscool or later college even older women now ask me will he call, does he like me, and they usually really turn out not to be intrested ... if he is not calling, well 99% or 95% o' the time, take your pick, he is highly likely not that into u, has other priorities, u r not that significant to him to personally connect with you at this moment in person and u will not hear from him personally unless u call him, u make the effort, that would be my god honest heartfelt response, often times its so easy for someone to fall back on the shyness card, workoverload, but people who want u in their life WILL NOT BE VAGUE and IMPERSONAL or INDIRECT about it, YOU WILL KNOW AND WILL NOT NEED TO ASK OR WONDER, i know from experience, otherwise use astrology or tarot to get insight cause much of the time these questions are really bordering supernatural like who tha heck knows what could b goin on ...

posted October 20, 2013 02:41 AM            

quote:

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not resort to insulting the other person.

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Where did I insult the other person?

Please copy/paste and show me what you mean.
I am not being sarcastic.
I would like to know where you felt I was personally targeting someone else.

My aggression is purely aimed at the topic - and I didn't think I made any personal insults.

Aqua guy called me irrational and delusional.. and in reply to these things I said that his words were foolish..
That is actually very uncommon for me anyway.. He is probably the only person (or one of the only people) I've made a personal comeback like that - towards.

posted October 20, 2013 02:50 AM            

quote:

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t rubs me the wrong way when a person makes a big deal out of something trivial

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I am not jumping down your throat as you put it..
But this is not at all trivial to me.. when so many people get emotional hurt in these kinds of situations.

The initial poster I quoted... was saying: "I personally think most of this stuff is bs. I used to believe it and follow these stupid rules and I think that's what has me all mixed up."

It does get people "mixed up" - and they up missing out on a real chance for a real relationship.

posted October 20, 2013 02:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
I am not jumping down your throat as you put it..
But this is not at all trivial to me.. when so many people get emotional hurt in these kinds of situations.

The initial poster I quoted... was saying: "I personally think most of this stuff is bs. I used to believe it and follow these stupid rules and I think that's what has me all mixed up."

It does get people "mixed up" - and they up missing out on a real chance for a real relationship.

It is not trivial because the writers of these books cash-in on other people's emotional pain.

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That's strange. I thought the OP was saying that being in a situation where "he's not that into you" was what was painful, and I agree.

And you know what's really feeding on that kind of pain? Telling them to keep holding on, it's "karmic", "love always finds a way", etc.

posted October 20, 2013 06:04 PM            

quote:

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And you know what's really feeding on that kind of pain? Telling them to keep holding on, it's "karmic", "love always finds a way", etc.

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BOTH things feed the pain... and generally BOTH things are bs.

Neither the fact that - "love always finds a way" and "he must be in love with you and simply can't be with you" OR.... "he is not that into you" "he just doesn't like you" --- is generally the correct answer in these kinds of situations.

BOTH of these answers are highly generalised, not specific to that particular person's situation... and both answers are likely unsuitable.

In order to give the person a suitable answer - a professional astrologer would have to assess both of their charts and their synastry/composite and transits - as well as past life charts like the draconic and take into account asteroids.
Secondly - if either one or both of them are not esoteric people - then a psychologist or counsellor could help whichever person is "hung up" - with their particular situation.

The reason dating books are actually unhelpful - is because they do not take into account particular individual situations - and they try to give answers to thousands and thousands of people out there.
Every relationship is different.

It is actually very presumptuous to tell someone... "That guy must be in love with you and just doesn't know it" - when you have never even met that guy and you have no idea what the chemistry between those two people was like.
On the other hand.. it is likewise patronising to tell someone "he or she is not that into you" when you have never met that other person - and again you have no understanding of the dynamics between those two people.

Some of the rules I mentioned above are completely exaggerated and yes they do lead to many problems.. Many of the male posters who replied pointed out that most of the rules were untrue and did not work.
And generally many men who have heard of this are not impressed... other than Aqua guy apparently.

posted October 20, 2013 06:16 PM            

Society then says: No.. Astrology can't predict the future.. You should do what you believe is right in that situation. Astrology can't tell you who you are or who your partner is... etc etc..

I certainly don't condone astrologers doing this ^... but at least they have *something* to go on.. as opposed to most dating book writers.
Because what dating book writers go on is - what is more likely to sell... as oppose to - what is more likely to help people.