posted October 15, 2013 11:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
How do you expect a guy who doesn't like you to like you? Move on.

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Good words, as usual, Ian.

BTW, your hot peppers on FB looked delish!

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted October 15, 2013 05:23 PM            

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How do you know you are loved?

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One way you definitely don't know is by reading Liz Tuccillo BS.

The question is - Do you just want to be "loved" or do you want to feel satisfied?
Many can love you but there are a billion reasons why they may be unable or unwilling to do the work required to make another person happy and leave them feeling satisfied.
Can self centred immature people experience love? Of course... They can feel in love. They can even feel passionately 'in love' ... but who cares? what good does it do anyone, if they don't know how to -give- and their idea of a relationship is doing nothing at all while the other person runs around after them, cooks for them, washes their skits and so on..
If they had a parental figure of the opposite sex who gave them the wrong messages they won't know how to give - what to give - and when is the point when they have given enough...
Any relationship is a give and take.
You can be lazy, self-centred, egotistical, narcissistic (not in the sense of suffering from the disorder..), unperceptive.... and feel "in love" and even profess that you are "in love" - as some do.... but that's meaningless love.. it's just words that are not backed up by actions.

posted October 15, 2013 07:41 PM            

I can tell when someone likes, dislikes, hates and loves me..

posted October 15, 2013 08:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by blueskiez06:
true what redshoes said, I sense you feel you r not loved and thats all you need to know ... if u have to ask its a bad sign

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posted October 19, 2013 06:56 PM            

"I would really like to spend more time with you, can we arrange some us time once a week?"

"I would really love to do something together, we could do anything, go running, play games, read to each other, watch a show together."

"It's really important to me that I have your input on these decisions."

Imho, if the person loves you, they will get it done. If the person doesn't deem your request about something important as necessary of importance. Well... it doesn't look good to me.

I mean, some of them could be trivial, such as, "It's been two weeks, I really need a light bulb for the cellar because I don't like going down there in the dark, could you please go and get one for me?"
Or, "I love that you spend time with your friends, I think it's amazing, but I would love to spend a single night with you."

If I love someone, their needs are right up there along with my needs.

posted October 19, 2013 09:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
It goes both ways, but bring up something small but important to you. Make sure they understand just how important and how much it means to you.

"I would really like to spend more time with you, can we arrange some us time once a week?"

"I would really love to do something together, we could do anything, go running, play games, read to each other, watch a show together."

"It's really important to me that I have your input on these decisions."

Imho, if the person loves you, they will get it done. If the person doesn't deem your request about something important as necessary of importance. Well... it doesn't look good to me.

I mean, some of them could be trivial, such as, "It's been two weeks, I really need a light bulb for the cellar because I don't like going down there in the dark, could you please go and get one for me?"
Or, "I love that you spend time with your friends, I think it's amazing, but I would love to spend a single night with you."

If I love someone, their needs are right up there along with my needs.

There are TED talks that discuss other marital and relationship issues, but they are all very interesting.

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posted October 19, 2013 09:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Don't read dating BS. "He's not that into you" sickens men and women alike... just read some of the crappy feedback it gets on just about every board when the topic comes up.

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posted October 19, 2013 10:03 PM            

quote:

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why do you have such a problem with that book?

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I don't like dating books, not just that particular one.
They are full of unrealistic generalisations and things that are entirely unhelpful and only cause more drama for people.

The reason I had more of a problem with "he's not that into you" than the others - is the amount of publicity it received. It was and is a *classic* get rich quick scheme.. and I am morally appalled by people who are happy to *use* others and to harm others psychologically - simply to make money.
So the writers of that book - get no brownie points from me.

They KNEW that writing this book - and the way in which they packaged it would sound contentious. They knew it would get attention because it would either offend or upset many people - including men and women (as many men do not like it either).
And they did it PURELY to make money.

posted October 19, 2013 10:06 PM            

quote:

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solid advice to women on how to know if a guy isn't interested

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Aqua - The worst kind of lie is a lie that is close enough to the truth to sound "legit" - but is actually BS when you look deeper.

posted October 19, 2013 10:07 PM            

Well said, Cappy moon

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted October 19, 2013 10:10 PM            

quote:

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Writers who truly want HELP other people are *honest* - not full of sh*t.
Well said, Cappy moon

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posted October 19, 2013 10:19 PM            

This is a forum where a girl is asking whether guys agree with this book:
http://www.girlsaskguys.com/Dating-Questions/59618-he-s-just-that-into-you-rules -accurate.html

quote:

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I want to know if guys agree with these rules quoted by "He's just not that into you." This is kind of for fun, since that movie is coming out and is based on a book that really makes it sound like women shouldn't initiate anything with men.

1. You shouldn't ask a guy out. If you have to ask him out, "he's just not that into you."
2. If he doesn't call you for 2 weeks, "he's just not that into you."
3. You shouldn't have to call him. He will do anything to get to you if he is into you.
4. He's going to make you feel comfortable and be upfront about what he wants out of the relationship immediately. If he's not, you guessed it, "he's just not that into you."
5. He's not shy, "he's just not that into you."
6. If he is not asking you out, "he's just not that into you."
7. If he doesn't return a call or a text (no matter what), you shouldn't give a guy the benefit of the doubt, "he's just not that into you."

I personally think most of this stuff is BS. I used to believe it and follow these stupid rules and I think that's what has me all mixed up. What do you think?

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There are many replies that disagree with the advice in the book.

For example ... herbs-man says:

quote:

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I think almost ALL of that was SOOOOOOOO wrong. Personality is different in different men and women, so to stereotype people like that is just ANOTHER way to sell a book or movie lol

Trust me sometimes there are GREAT guys who ARE into you, but they are a little shy, tired from work, unsure of how YOU feel and just maybe have made a bad mistake before meeting the "wrong one" and doesn't want to get hurt again... just , like, am, women

So since we're both so similar, trust your instincts and if you like him, go get him tiger, just look for the signs that maybe he's Really not into you as more than a friend, like if he keeps asking about your "friend" etc...

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I will not add what I personally think about that advice.. because I basically agree 100% with this post by herbsman.

Herbsman's post (as well as many others that disagree with such advice) - are REALITY.

posted October 19, 2013 10:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Quite apart from the book - I was completely outraged by the fact that - in the "He's not that into you" movie - there is a skit at the very beginning that shows women in parts of Africa (in places where they have serious problems)... who apparently behave just like western women in urban US, and have the same concerns about men...
Like - give me a break!

I mean that is beyond ridiculous.

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posted October 19, 2013 10:26 PM            

quote:

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1. You shouldn't ask a guy out. If you have to ask him out, "he's just not that into you."
2. If he doesn't call you for 2 weeks, "he's just not that into you."
3. You shouldn't have to call him. He will do anything to get to you if he is into you.
4. He's going to make you feel comfortable and be upfront about what he wants out of the relationship immediately. If he's not, you guessed it, "he's just not that into you."
5. He's not shy, "he's just not that into you."
6. If he is not asking you out, "he's just not that into you."
7. If he doesn't return a call or a text (no matter what), you shouldn't give a guy the benefit of the doubt, "he's just not that into you."

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