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soren
Knowflake

Posts: 280
From: vancouver, bc, canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted February 16, 2014 02:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for soren     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
life seems to hard lately, i know ive had a good life and that others have it way worse, and i am taking life for granted, but i still complain about my life, and i feel my intution pulling me to go outside and do things but i dont want to, i'd rather stay inside, i purposely do the wrong thing, and then i eat too much, and i just feel like i have a weak soul and that i could die, because the weak die and the strong survive apparently, life is really serious for some people who have serious problems, and ive never had a problem in my life, i had a easy life, and i just dont want to do anything bad like become a killer, that probably would never happen, but its just a paranoia of my mind i dont care about myself or my future, but i just want to feel pleasure, help what should i do? i find it hard to go on, and reaching out to people doesnt usually make me feel better. but i only reach out to my dad. i am just a very prideful person and my aunt tells me "you need to help yourself before you help others" well that just doesnt sit with me, helping others seems more imporant, yet i toss that aside because its too hard and i would rather just be self destructive and pleasureable. so can anyone offer any advice?? thanks

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soren
Knowflake

Posts: 280
From: vancouver, bc, canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted February 16, 2014 02:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for soren     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
im paranoid that every time i sin, that i bring everyone else down, because we are all psychically connected, and that when i am feeling good i am actually sucking other peoples energies so that they cant feel good, and sometimes i feel bad and like i have no mental energy and im paranoid that others are sucking up all the mental energy from me (people who live in the same house or upstairs). i live alone with my dad and i guess its not that great. nearly all my friends in this small town are depressed. i guess new friends would be nice but i feel pretty unwilling to do anything in life. i just want to feel pleasureable by eating a lot and playing games and turning off my brain. i just want things to be easier even though i already had an easy life. i dont work. i just dont want to die soon or become a really bad person and i dont want to make the world a worse place. the last few months have probably been one of the worst times of my life. also i think that the earth is changing and causing humanity to move from mind/ego conciousness to heart conciousness where we follow our intuition more than our minds. it seems true to me. what do you guys think? anyway advice appreciated..

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soren
Knowflake

Posts: 280
From: vancouver, bc, canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted February 16, 2014 03:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for soren     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
and you know what? i think i know a lot. I think some people actually believe that others are bad. well I can believe that others dont have the best intentions for me, (well actually almost everyone is pretty nice to me), but to actually think that some people are just bad or evil is ignorance i think. do they even know how those people feel or what lives they had? I had a good life where I was loved a lot and had lots of attention and Ive been happy, and theres other people who were abused and had tough ****** lives of neglect who maybe end up doing some bad things. And then people say "those evil people deserve to die" <--- (retarded) and people also say "some souls came to this planet when they werent ready, unevolved souls who couldnt be patient" which could possibly be true, but for all we know, these people had way tougher lives then us, they are taking on a huge karmic burden of dealing with negative **** in this world while others dont have to, and people dont give them empathy. (im talking about killers, rapists, really "BAD" people)

I can relate to these people because ive felt really messed up myself, such feelings as having my true feelings surpressed for a long time, without ever feeling able to express myself, and just desiring power and wanting to express myself in some powerful way, but never being able to. Luckily i have never done anything bad nor do i have a desire to. But some people are in a way worse position. Some people must feel so messed up and no one will help. No one will care. I want to care for those people.

I want there to be a way for them to go on in life. We can care for these people, talk to them. Dedicate our lives to helping them get better. I would. We could have neck braces that have tazing abilities if people get out of hand. I just think its ignorant for someone to just deem these people as worthy of death for having the hard lives that they had. Thats just my opinion.

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soren
Knowflake

Posts: 280
From: vancouver, bc, canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted February 16, 2014 03:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for soren     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
this video actually helps quite a lot.. watch it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cx04tk2JUA

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Sibyl
Newflake

Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted February 16, 2014 07:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sibyl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think that you should seek some help. You sound really far down, and I don't think anyone deserves or should feel that way. Most people go through a depression at some stage in their lives, it is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed about. But we can't always be strong and solve it by ourselves. There is no shame in asking for help or leaning on others. Happiness, when shared, is doubled. Sadness, when shared, is halved.

Take care of yourself, Soren. Lots of love and best of luck to you.

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soren
Knowflake

Posts: 280
From: vancouver, bc, canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted February 16, 2014 08:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for soren     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks Sibyl that is too kind of you. I started feeling better earlier tonight. I am taking it easier and trying to relax. Yeah I am being quite negative and would appreciate some support for how to get through this so I think you are right. Although I am feeling better now. I've just been feeling that lots of people have problems so I cant really complain and I just have to get through it. But its just really hard. But maybe things arent as bad as they seem. Im not sure who to go to for help. Maybe mental health. I dont usually open up to people at all either so maybe I should. Seems hard. Its hard to have a positive outlook but I guess it takes effort too. Its easy to be 'sinful'.

Im kind of surprised you were so nice to me, so thanks a lot. Im sure i will get through this and am feeling better, thanks again.

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Violets
Moderator

Posts: 2335
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011

posted February 16, 2014 11:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi, Soren.

It must be hard to feel the way that you're describing and not have many people to talk to about it. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better, and I do think it's a good idea to find some people to talk to about how you're feeling.

I can be a really isolated person as well a lot of the time, with only one or two people that I care to open up to.

So I know that when I've gone through hard times emotionally (my step-dad passed in July, and I didn't feel like I had many people to talk to about it, and I felt very alone) it makes it so much easier if I just find one or two people outside my comfort zone to open up to.

When I was feeling really down in July, everyone around me was pretty busy with their own grieving and responsibilities, so I had to reach out to others.

It helped me get through a pretty tough time of feeling very alone, even though it felt a little bit awkward.
I reached out to old friends that I generally don't care to burden with my issues, and I reached out to my husband's dad and step-mom, who are really spiritual and accepting people.

Do you want us to send you some white healing light here? You can start a thread here asking for that, and/or perhaps ask Ellyn if she can send some healing your way? I'll post the link to her thread.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/003286.html

Sending out healing energy to you!

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Violets
Moderator

Posts: 2335
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011

posted February 16, 2014 11:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also, you might want to check out the Sweet Peas in the Rain forum here at LL.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/cgi-bin/ubb/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Sweet+Peas+In+The+Rain&number=27&DaysPrune=1000&LastLogin=

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Sibyl
Newflake

Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted February 16, 2014 09:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sibyl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It could be a good step for you to contact your doctor as well. Since you say that you have issues expressing yourself it sounds like therapy could be very beneficial to you to teach you how to open up so you don't have to carry all of this weight on your shoulders. Medication is another possibility. Sometimes our minds can get locked in unhealthy neurological patterns, and the use of medication can help break the cycle. It doesn't mean that you loose yourself or that you have to go on them for the rest of your life. But these are all things that you could discuss with a doctor.

I know this, because I have seen it so many times. I have many people in my life with different issues, and there is no shame in it. I was told a great analogy once, where you can imagine walking through life with a backpack on your shoulders. Every time something bad happens to you and you don't deal with it (talking about it, healing yourself), you fill up your backpack. You can go like that for a few years, but the backpack gets heavier and heavier until finally it is impossible to go on without unloading that burden.

I think it is time that you take care of yourself, step up and decide that you deserve to be happy. Anyway, I just want you to know that you have options. And you should know that you do deserve to be happy. So you are allowed to focus on yourself for a while and get yourself back on your feet.

And also, I agree with your aunt by the way. She sounds like a wise woman. The thing is, you can't really help others in a meaningful way until you yourself are in a good place. It is ok to take time out and grow, it will only make you stronger and that is something you can share with others later.

Also, please find work. It sounds like you need a more directed purpose in your life. I think you should set yourself concrete goals of what you want to achieve. All of these intuitive thoughts are great and it is obvious to me that you have quite a bit of wisdom. But I think you need more direction in your efforts. What change would you most like to see in the world? You know it? Then go get it

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Sibyl
Newflake

Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted February 16, 2014 09:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sibyl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*double post*

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Violets
Moderator

Posts: 2335
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011

posted February 17, 2014 12:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi all,

It's kind of a tough call for me, but I think that this thread would do better in Sweet Peas in the Rain, so I'm going to move it to there. I'll offer the link again so that you can find it easily.

You might find more people who can offer some advice or similar experiences there, Soren.


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