posted April 05, 2014 02:57 PM            

And because she squeezes a watermelon through a small hole. That hurts.

posted April 13, 2014 07:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayelet:
Why giving birth is so painful for the woman? Why were we created that way? What do you think?

---

Because we are all biological organisms and many things are painful. Our ability to perceive pain is very important from an evolutionary perspective.

posted April 13, 2014 07:52 PM            

We are all adults here.

posted April 13, 2014 08:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayelet:
Hi everyone. This post is a bit old, but if Rajji is still around, i would like to ask him a couple of questions: 1. Why in your opinion not bringing up a family is a labour of love? 2. If sex is such a precious gift from God, why to abstane from it? I guess if you answer the first question, you answer the second as well. And if it is too personal and you don't want to bring it up, then i apologize.

---

posted April 14, 2014 10:06 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
I don't like it when people get all dramatic about childbirth being painful.

---

But it IS dramatically painful. That's the reality.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
Today we have many less painful and pain free options.

---

But we have no guarantees.

Epidurals often cause monumental headaches that last for days.

An episiotomy might have been performed, or there may have been substantial ripping, which can create life-long problems if the wound doesn't heal right. Which has happened to a few women I know.

C-sections can be fatal (in some cases, mothers have died when their intestines were clipped and undiagnosed sepsis took over) and sometimes cause lasting pain to the abdominal muscles.

And there is no getting around the after-birth pains, which intensify with each child, and which have been worse than labor pains for me. Especially with my last child, when I was injected without my knowledge and against my will, for dubious medical reasons, with what must've been enough Pitocin to make an elephant convulse in agony.

And I'm just focusing on the mother's pain here. It can be painful for the baby in so many other ways: forceps are still being used; circumcision is still standard practice in the USA; most babies are still born into rooms too cold for their comfort, injected straight off with Vitamin K, the Hep B vaccine, and possibly other drugs which they may have an adverse reaction to, without anyone knowing the baby well enough to determine what their norm is, and whether any deviations from that are taking place.

Since I'm kind of a hippy dippy earth mama type, I never gave birth in a hospital, never had any painkillers for the birth (though I did take anything they would give me to deal with the Pitocin afterbirth pain, and none of that even touched the torture I was going through.)

Still, amongst my friends who did give birth with epidurals, many of them suffered for longer afterwards than I did, with one or more of the complications I listed.

posted April 14, 2014 10:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by rajji:
Hi ayelet!
I will start a new topic in labours of love regarding the same.
I wanted your valuable opinion and feedback as well.
See you there soon.
And I am 'SHE' By the way.

---

Nice to know you, "she"..

posted April 14, 2014 10:39 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayelet:
Why giving birth is so painful for the woman? Why were we created that way? What do you think?

---

I think modern life can make the pain worse. In America, for instance, many women are overweight or have health issues from eating a poor diet when they get pregnant, and this increases the likelihood of a painful birth.

The healthier a woman is when she gets pregnant, the better her chances of enduring it with a manageable level of pain. This also applies to mental health, since, in labor, panic and fear make the contractions worse. If a woman has a solid core of calm to draw from, she can endure it better. Childbirth classes try to teach this, but it often depends on the woman's whole psychological state, how well she can apply that lesson.

In the hospital women are often confined to their beds with the fetal monitor...which is unnatural, and prolongs labor. Women dilate faster when they are allowed to move around, and are much more comfortable. Granted, many interventions have spared women much of the pain, but from what I've seen, these interventions can be risky.

I'm convinced that if I ever had an epidural, I would have been forced to get a C-section, because I needed to be able to feel where the baby was to push effectively.

My easiest birth was with my daughter, she was born at home with a midwife, and I was so happy to be in a secure place, walking on my lawn on a sunny day, with friends there...it made ALL the difference.

In my opinion, a woman's surroundings and support really can substantially lessen the pain.

posted April 14, 2014 11:06 AM            

I'm sorry to hear about those horrible things Faith. I'm completely disgusted by the hospital conditions you described and the malpractice.
But the thing is ... sooooo much sh*t happens in the world. Life is not pain free for anyone. I mean people suffering from very different health problems and conditions also go through pain and can also have negative experiences with physicians, surgeons and medical staff.

posted April 14, 2014 01:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
I don't have any traumatic childbirth stories in my family.. so this is why it has never seemed dramatic to me.

---

Oh. You don't talk to mothers outside of your family?

I guess you don't watch documentaries about just how "dramatic" childbirth can get in the Third World, like No Woman No Cry, either.

Well, I've invited you to consider this other side of it.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
I'm sorry to hear about those horrible things Faith. I'm completely disgusted by the hospital conditions you described and the malpractice.

---

Thank you. I didn't give birth in a hospital, but at least you caught the gist of it.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
But the thing is ... sooooo much sh*t happens in the world. Life is not pain free for anyone. I mean people suffering from very different health problems and conditions also go through pain and can also have negative experiences with physicians, surgeons and medical staff.

---

I don't know why you are bringing this up. It's not like I was ever suggesting, in the slightest way, that childbirth is the ultimate pain, dwarfing every other misery. But it IS painful for most women, that's the truth.

posted April 14, 2014 05:08 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
Thank you. I didn't give birth in a hospital, but at least you caught the gist of it.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Odette:
[b]But the thing is ... sooooo much sh*t happens in the world. Life is not pain free for anyone. I mean people suffering from very different health problems and conditions also go through pain and can also have negative experiences with physicians, surgeons and medical staff.

---

I don't know why you are bringing this up. It's not like I was ever suggesting, in the slightest way, that childbirth is the ultimate pain, dwarfing every other misery. But it IS painful for most women, that's the truth.

I'm curious if you think no one ought to be "dramatic" when talking about their medical ordeals and suffering? [/B][/QUOTE]

I don't talk to mothers outside my family because my friends don't have kids yet, and this isn't the kind of question you ask an acquaintance.
I haven't researched my options because I'm not planning on having kids yet, so I only know stories I've heard from my mum, step-sis, aunt, grandmothers. No one says it was easy for them. But nothing particularly tragic or horrible happened. So the stories are mostly positive. My aunt had some problems. She's the only one who had a c-section.. but the problems were not very serious or long lasting. My sister had an epidural and she would advise against it now, because she had some side effects, but again - it was not long lasting. Its not a horror story.

posted April 14, 2014 05:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
My sister had an epidural and she would advise against it now, because she had some side effects, but again - it was not long lasting. Its not a horror story.

---

My point was just that childbirth is usually painful, and I wanted to establish the fact that women are not wholesale exaggerating the intensity.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
This is the part I find dramatic - referring to the pain of childbirth as God's punishment. It's beyond sexist, and beyond ridiculous.

---

posted April 14, 2014 08:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayelet:
My standpoint is that there is spiritual meaning behind biological, so-called "material" phenomena, and i wish to understand it. And i don't seperate between material and spiritual, which is why i put the slashes.

---

You have all the required answers within you and yet you dont percieve it.There is a kind of beauty in that.

posted April 15, 2014 05:02 PM            

@MoonWitch

Yeah...OUCH...I don't think I would have been able to handle what you did! I was out of my mind when I had my first baby, I couldn't believe anything could hurt that much, and he wasn't even 7 lbs. It was a rapid labor, though, just one contraction after the next. My midwife was like, "Just rest here a while, it'll be a long time" and my husband left to get us some snacks, and meanwhile I was ready to push when everyone got back. Like 3cm to 10cm in an hour or something.

My friend has a small frame like me, and she had a ten pound baby at home. She doesn't even have to complain. All she has to say is, "I had a ten pound baby at home" and any woman whose had a baby will want to give her a consolation hug. But she still says that she liked being home for it.

For me it was kind of like two experiences happening at once: the contractions/pushing, and the strange normality between those times. All my good memories happened between the contractions, and then after I met the baby of course.