posted May 29, 2014 03:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mercuranian:
if he talks about how "crazy" his ex/exes are

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reminded me of this:

posted May 29, 2014 03:49 PM            

Dating Red Flag 101: Beware The Person Who Showers You With Compliments

The red flag here is all of the compliments. I have commented many times that compliments from strangers, specifically effusive comments about looks, are usually disingenuous. These guys are saying all these wonderful things to you because either a) they’re socially awkward and think that the way to get a woman to like them is to tell her she’s pretty or b) they’re trying to lull her into a false sense of security.

Also a red flag is when they tell you how different you are from other women. They’re playing into the stereotype that all women get a thrill hearing they’ve somehow one upped another woman.

..

posted May 29, 2014 04:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
when searching for that funny, some other interesting things came up on google.....

Dating Red Flag 101: Beware The Person Who Showers You With Compliments

The red flag here is all of the compliments. I have commented many times that compliments from strangers, specifically effusive comments about looks, are usually disingenuous. These guys are saying all these wonderful things to you because either a) they’re socially awkward and think that the way to get a woman to like them is to tell her she’s pretty or b) they’re trying to lull her into a false sense of security.

Also a red flag is when they tell you how different you are from other women. They’re playing into the stereotype that all women get a thrill hearing they’ve somehow one upped another woman.

..

People who unload about their negative dating experiences, on a date no less, really should be avoided at all costs. Not only is it bad form but it hints at a discontent with dating and the opposite sex.
http://andthatswhyyouresingle.com/2014/01/03/dating-red-fl ag-101-beware-the-person-who-showers-you-with-compliments/

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posted May 29, 2014 04:01 PM            

The Truth About His ''Crazy Ex''

Dating coach Matt Titus, coauthor of Why Hasn't He Called?, explains why every man claims to have dated a nut bag or two. So next time you hear this whacked-out tale, you'll be ready to call BS.

I was waiting for a friend at a restaurant when a beautiful woman asked if she could join me. She sat down and said, "You don't remember me, do you, Matt?" She looked familiar, but before I could respond, she said, "It's Belinda, from Philadelphia." Um, Belinda (not her real name), as in the craziest ex-girlfriend ever? I scanned her body for hidden weapons. You see, even guys who race motorcycles and laugh at Saw VI want to run to Mama when faced with a psycho ex.

Sudden Amnesia

I thought I had blocked out the bad memories in the seven years since our split, but the flashbacks began immediately. There was Belinda threatening to jump out of the car if I didn't let her listen to my voice mail. Belinda accusing me of sleeping with the coworker I was having lunch with. And how could I forget Belinda parking outside my apartment and watching me walk by with another date? I was ripped back to reality when she said, "Matt, I'm sure a lot has changed since you used to hide your phone, sleep with coworkers, and double-book your Friday nights." I smiled nervously as we exchanged niceties.

After she left, I questioned my memory of our two-year relationship. Come to think of it, I did talk to other girls when I was seeing Belinda. I, uh, also had affairs toward the end, trying out new girlfriends on Friday nights before going to her place. Then it hit me: Her craziness began after I started treating her terribly.

The Blame Game

It's tough to face, but the truth is, most men use the term crazy to describe an ex in order to cast ourselves as the victim rather than admit to being the villain in a past relationship. It's hard to find fault in our dating behavior because that might lead us to more troubling realizations about how we need to improve as people. It's a lot easier to reassign the guilt and start looking for the next love of our life.

And when we do find a keeper, the crazy ex-girlfriend is a fictional character that helps us get your complete allegiance. By claiming that women in our past have wronged us, we hope you'll want to make up for our heinous experiences by showing us how a great guy should be treated — preferably with mind-blowing sex.

If your man starts talking about his crazy ex, keep this in mind: Most women don't go nuts for no reason, and details tend to be blown out of proportion. When he says something like "She called me 20 times in one night," she really called only three times in a week when he vanished after saying "I love you."

To get the real story on his past loves, believe half of what you hear and all of what you see. Focus on how he treats you — specifically, whether he takes your needs and concerns seriously or shrugs them off. If it's the latter, you could end up being his next psycho ex.

http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/love-sex-relationships/hearst-article.aspx?cp-documentid=24117229

posted May 29, 2014 04:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
this was a good one too;

[b]The Truth About His ''Crazy Ex''

Dating coach Matt Titus, coauthor of Why Hasn't He Called?, explains why every man claims to have dated a nut bag or two. So next time you hear this whacked-out tale, you'll be ready to call BS.

I was waiting for a friend at a restaurant when a beautiful woman asked if she could join me. She sat down and said, "You don't remember me, do you, Matt?" She looked familiar, but before I could respond, she said, "It's Belinda, from Philadelphia." Um, Belinda (not her real name), as in the craziest ex-girlfriend ever? I scanned her body for hidden weapons. You see, even guys who race motorcycles and laugh at Saw VI want to run to Mama when faced with a psycho ex.

Sudden Amnesia

I thought I had blocked out the bad memories in the seven years since our split, but the flashbacks began immediately. There was Belinda threatening to jump out of the car if I didn't let her listen to my voice mail. Belinda accusing me of sleeping with the coworker I was having lunch with. And how could I forget Belinda parking outside my apartment and watching me walk by with another date? I was ripped back to reality when she said, "Matt, I'm sure a lot has changed since you used to hide your phone, sleep with coworkers, and double-book your Friday nights." I smiled nervously as we exchanged niceties.

After she left, I questioned my memory of our two-year relationship. Come to think of it, I did talk to other girls when I was seeing Belinda. I, uh, also had affairs toward the end, trying out new girlfriends on Friday nights before going to her place. Then it hit me: Her craziness began after I started treating her terribly.

The Blame Game

It's tough to face, but the truth is, most men use the term crazy to describe an ex in order to cast ourselves as the victim rather than admit to being the villain in a past relationship. It's hard to find fault in our dating behavior because that might lead us to more troubling realizations about how we need to improve as people. It's a lot easier to reassign the guilt and start looking for the next love of our life.

And when we do find a keeper, the crazy ex-girlfriend is a fictional character that helps us get your complete allegiance. By claiming that women in our past have wronged us, we hope you'll want to make up for our heinous experiences by showing us how a great guy should be treated — preferably with mind-blowing sex.

If your man starts talking about his crazy ex, keep this in mind: Most women don't go nuts for no reason, and details tend to be blown out of proportion. When he says something like "She called me 20 times in one night," she really called only three times in a week when he vanished after saying "I love you."

To get the real story on his past loves, believe half of what you hear and all of what you see. Focus on how he treats you — specifically, whether he takes your needs and concerns seriously or shrugs them off. If it's the latter, you could end up being his next psycho ex.

http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/love-sex-relationships/hearst-article.aspx?cp-documen tid=24117229

[/B]

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My most recent ex, he said I started going crazy with wanting to break up for the past 6 months. I said our relationship is 18 months old. Have you thought about what you might have done to me for a straight year before I started flipping out?

I wanted to settle down with him. I broke up with him, but I'm just tired of chasing this person. Reminds me of one of those snap bracelets that are straight and you hit them on your wrist so they can turn into a circle. Why should I force him to be there?

posted May 29, 2014 04:14 PM            

quote:

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Have you thought about what you might have done to me for a straight year before I started flipping out?

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That is a great question and one that these types dont bother asking themselves. It's easier to label her crazy.

I'll share another good one that came up in that search. Just finished reading it

On Labeling Women 'Crazy'

by Harris O'Malley

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harris-oamalley/on-labeling-women-crazy_b_4259779.html

excerpt:

quote:

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Gaslighting and Emotional Manipulation

When someone talks about the woman who he broke up with because she called too often or seemed get emotionally involved faster than he was comfortable with, because she got angry with him over the way he acted, she was always arguing with him about stuff or even that she wanted different things from the relationship, it's not uncommon to hear, "That's why you don't stick it in the crazy." The man is absolved of any responsibility for the break up; it's not because he was willing to pretend to be on the same page as her regarding the future of the relationship because it was convenient and meant that he could continue sleeping with her, it's because she was crazy. It's not because he was unwilling to discuss her concerns. She's crazy, case closed, time to move on to the next woman without pausing to reflect.

By dismissing a woman's behavior or concerns as crazy, we inadvertently take part in a behavior known as "gaslighting." Named for the classic George Cukor movie, gaslighting is a term used by psychologists to describe abusive behavior where a person is made to feel as though their emotions and reactions are irrational, even (dare I say) crazy. By constantly minimizing and dismissing someone's reactions, we make them feel uncomfortable with themselves and cause them to start to doubt their own feelings. If they're being told over and over again that what they're feeling is irrational or unreal, that what they're feeling is somehow out of whack, then they start to accept that maybe it is.

Even when it's not. Especially when it's not.

Gaslighting -- minimizing their feelings, reframing them as being unreasonable -- is classic abusive behavior. It's telling someone that they don't have a right to the way they feel because what they're feeling is wrong. Their feelings or their concerns or behavior isn't "rational." Once you take away their right to their feelings, it's that much easier to manipulate a person into the way you want them to behave.

Labeling women as "crazy" is a way of controlling them. It may not be something planned or pre-meditated, but the ease with which men call women "crazy" says a lot about them. Calling a woman "crazy" is quick and easy shut-down to any discussion. Once the "crazy" card has been pulled out, women are now put on the defensive: The onus is no longer on the man to address her concerns or her issue; it's on her to justify her behavior, to prove that she is not, in fact, crazy or irrational. Men don't even have to provide any sort of argument back -- it's a classic catch-22: "The fact that you don't even see that you're acting crazy is just proof that it's crazy."

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posted May 29, 2014 05:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
reminded me of this:

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posted May 29, 2014 05:29 PM            

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 29, 2014 06:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
HAHAHA!!! Yes!

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posted May 29, 2014 06:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
There are crazy people in the world, male and female. Whimsical articles don't discount that fact. And a crazy person doesn't need a reason to be crazy or to be set off. Crazy is still crazy.

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Keep talking. Keep letting it. all. hang. out.

posted May 29, 2014 06:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
I disagree with that one. I'm literally a psycho magnet. I think the crazies are generally attracted to stable people. But I've chosen much better as of late. Charmaine and I have been two-gether for over three years now.

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most us us have had a crazy ex in our past. i'm talking about guys who keep telling their new love interests how crazy their ex/exes were. in these cases it's just a matter of time before you are labeled crazy too. he's the common denominator here beware. (this applies to both sexes - before anyone claims i am man-bashing).

posted May 29, 2014 07:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:

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Have you seen that movie called along came polly or something? The guy uses a computer program to calculate the risk involved of dating of each person.

posted May 29, 2014 09:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Have you seen that movie called along came polly or something? The guy uses a computer program to calculate the risk involved of dating of each person.

I swear to god I need something like that! Lol.

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And yes, this is irrelevant and off topic.
Say thanks to my Gemini.

posted May 29, 2014 09:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
This wasn't a date, but a few years ago me and a friend (both members of a local real estate club) took a mortgage broker out to Red Lobster for a business meeting. She sent the food back several times and was extremely rude. And she acted with us like she was doing a good thing! Talk about deluded! She got her food free (we were paying for her anyway) and took hers home. Sorry, but I would not have wanted to eat that food after what she pulled!

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There can be an extreme self focus that is palpable, esp when one realizes the other person has no idea, and does not care, what a PITA they are being over very minor things

"Straining flies and swallowing camels" as the saying goes

posted May 30, 2014 12:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Have you seen that movie called along came polly or something? The guy uses a computer program to calculate the risk involved of dating of each person.

I swear to god I need something like that! Lol.

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posted May 30, 2014 08:48 AM            

Your haters don't define you. How you REACT to them does.

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted May 30, 2014 11:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
When I see Randall handle the people who are downright rude and obnoxious with such grace and character, it gives me strength to do the same.

Your haters don't define you. How you REACT to them does.

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