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Author Topic:   Do You Ever Feel Like You Are A Siamese Twin With Your Parent?
Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted June 03, 2014 12:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Now, that AG has given you a break, I have to start up

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Ami Anne
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posted June 03, 2014 12:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Seriously, though, as I heal I can see that I was one with her, in thought, in emotions and in psyche and now that I see that, I can see that I am really not and I can divest myself of it. There is a psych word for it--enmeshment.

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Violets
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posted June 03, 2014 12:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ So good that you're breaking through with this stuff, Ami. I know there are things that we know mentally, in our brains...but it can take so long for it to sink into our hearts and souls, and actually allow us to let go of some of our "stuff".

But no, haha. I definitely never felt enmeshed with my mom. There was so much built up rage, because I just...at the time, I really, really despised her thought process, way of treating people, ethical standards...everything.

But I personally don't find that your posts about this stuff are tiresome (not for me, anyway). I think it's healthy to look at this stuff, even if it takes a long time of looking at the same stuff over and over again.
That's probably my Virgo Moon talking there, haha. But hey, it works for me. If I didn't analyze this crap I would never change any of it (which would suck really, really badly).

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Violets
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posted June 03, 2014 01:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think I used the word "stuff" like ten times in that last post.

Can anyone tell that Saturn is backing up to square my Mercury (very wide orb, but felt nonetheless) right about now?

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted June 03, 2014 01:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks Violets!

Some people got sick of me talking about this and I can understand it but it has been such a deep wound and has gotten better,sooooo slowly, but it has. That is the wonderful thing.
I feel a breath of fresh air that I am not her! Somehow, I took her in, when I went numb. I bet you can relate. I shut down and left my senses, in a way.
Now, through a lot of meditation and prayer, I am coming out of it.
Thanks for being there, Violets and Everyone and to Randall for giving me a needed place to talk

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Violets
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posted June 03, 2014 02:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I had to talk about my mom for a LONG time, and I would often do it with people who were not appropriate to unburden my anger with, but I HAD to get that out, and at that time I hadn't been able to find a decent therapist.

I think I've mentioned that I had a very good friend (we don't talk much anymore, for different reasons) who experienced the same type of abuse from her mother that you did.

She also had to talk about that. A lot. People would get tired of listening to her talk about it, but I get it. It can take a long time for us to wrap our heads around "Why?" and to deal with that anger and hurt.

And then once we get past the "why" part, I think it becomes so much easier.
Sometimes people are left with the burden of never being able to understand the "why", and they have to figure out other ways of accepting it, so to speak (I mean, we can't change any of it, so there's not much other choice).

I'm grateful that I've been blessed to understand my mom's "why". She's a complex, very sad person (and I don't mean that in a condescending way...she carries a great deal of sadness that I don't think she consciously acknowledges). She wants to help people, but there are things that get in the way for her. I know that the good part of her never wanted to hurt me, and I know that she regrets it now.

Unfortunately, some of her unpleasant behavior just isn't going away, so I have to create some distance there for my own peace of mind, as well as for my son's well-being.

Anyway, just sort of rambling about my own experiences and some experiences of friends.

Sending love and healing to you with your journey in this, Ami.

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Randall
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posted June 15, 2014 11:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Gabby
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posted June 16, 2014 12:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm so happy for you Ami!!
You said you took her in, and lost yourself at some point.
We all do that, we accept our abuser and the abuse in order to cope. To feel normal we make it OKAY in our head...just as it's okay in their heads.
Then when we get away, grow up and move on with life we never think to go back and pluck that little piece of filth they put in us, out. It stays there as an acceptable adopted part of ourselves that eats away at us just as the abuser ate away at us!
I'm so happy you saw what she left in you and decided to clean it up and start to live life according to your thoughts and not hers anymore!
Keep it up...find all her smelly rotten remains she left behind in you and clean them up, throw them out, give them back and in the end realize she did you a favor!
There is no need to hold onto anger because she helped you in some ways.
Bless her for making you a stronger person.
Without her you wouldnt be who you are today, and that's a really special amazing woman!
What she couldn't pass onto you directly was strength but because of her...you were able to find the strength she didn't have give to give, bless her for that!

I edited...its a bit better now!!

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12muddy
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posted June 16, 2014 10:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Feel Like You Are A Siamese Twin With Your Parent

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

My father once commented on how much I remind him of my mother whhen she was young. And it was a compliment. Not to me lol

But we share many personalitites traits. It's just that the way we channel our energy differently. So yeah we're very much alike, but very different.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted June 16, 2014 10:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm so happy for you Ami!!
You said you took her in, and lost yourself at some point.
We all do that, we accept our abuser and the anuse in order to cope, to feel normal we make it OKAY in our head...just as it's okay in their heads.
Then when we get away, grow up and move on with life we never think to go back and pluck that little piece of filth they put in us, out. It stays there as an acceptable adopted part of ourselves that eats away at us just as the abuser are away at us!
I'm so happy you saw the mud she left in you and decided to clean it up and live life according to your thoughts and not hers anymore!
Keep it up...find all her smelly rotten remains she left behind in you and clean them up, throw them out, give them back and in the end realize she did you a favor and there is no need to hold onto anger because of that! Bless her for making you a stronger person....without her you wouldnt be who you are today, and that's a really special amazing woman! What she couldn't pass onto you directly was strength but because of her...you were able to find the strength she didn't have give, bless he for that!

You are such a doll, Gabby. I thank God for you

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted June 16, 2014 10:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by 12muddy:
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

My father once commented on how much I remind him of my mother whhen she was young. And it was a compliment. Not to me lol

But we share many personalitites traits. It's just that the way we channel our energy differently. So yeah we're very much alike, but very different.



That is healthy you feel that way, M!

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12muddy
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posted June 16, 2014 10:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you.

I've been hanging around on LL for a while and have read quite a few of your posts about your mother and although I don't know that much, I'd say that from what I see you are doing very well too Ami Ann.

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Gabby
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posted June 17, 2014 12:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You are such a doll, Gabby. I thank God for you



Your wonderful Ami...I'm glad you working through all that yuck!! You deserve to be happy!!

Ok....so I'm embarrassed by all my typos lately!! I hope you can even read my posts!!
I'm still mainly using my phone...ugh, auto correct and always hitting the wrong key, lol...it drives me crazy(er) I'm already there so it doesn't take much! Lol
N forget about trying to go back and correct it....you have to delete half the post to get to the typo! Ok, yes that's somewhat exaggerated... but still, it's annoying.

Love You Ami!! (n glad you can read my posts)

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Randall
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posted June 27, 2014 05:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted June 28, 2014 07:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Gabby dear. You are wonderful, too

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted June 28, 2014 07:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, Randall. You are always so encouraging!

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


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