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Author Topic:   Non-malicious lies
I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 7811
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted June 26, 2014 04:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Can you forgive them more easily or not really? I mainly mean lies that originate from wanting to protect oneself and privacy.

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I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy.

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PixieJane
Moderator

Posts: 4783
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted June 26, 2014 04:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Not sure what you mean. I'm guessing you mean when someone lies about nothing having happened when something did or who "lied by omission" by skipping over dirty laundry, past abuse, etc.

Not a problem for me (though I'd rather they just say they don't want to talk about it, I usually don't take that personally and pretty much assume they'll talk about it when they're ready, and if not there will be other things to talk about instead).

I'd be more disturbed if it was seeing someone behind my back. Mainly I'd be worried if it was a stranger and could be angry for his or her own safety. And my BFF used to be the BFF of my past partner and I said she didn't have to choose between us (whereas my ex did tell her to choose) and if they started getting close again without telling me I'd be hurt (because I wasn't told).

Now obviously if this is hiding something they know would get them in trouble (that is, they're trying to protect themselves from consequences of having broken an agreement, rule, etc) then that's a different matter. Offhand, my BFF wasn't able to pay me back (and I believe her) but if I found out she was able but wanted to keep hold of it just in case she lost her job then I'd be very angry and hurt (though less so if she fessed up than if I busted her for it). I expect I'd forgive, but they wouldn't get away with it. Of course if it happened repeatedly then that would be another matter and I'd distance myself from them at the very least.

If the lie were to cause harm to someone else (like shifting blame to protect one's self) then that would be very serious to me.

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I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 7811
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted June 26, 2014 05:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Not sure what you mean. I'm guessing you mean when someone lies about nothing having happened when something did or who "lied by omission" by skipping over dirty laundry, past abuse, etc.

Yeah, something like this. Or replacing one fact with another.

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I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy.

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 42298
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 04, 2014 01:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Intent matters.

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DeepFreeze
Knowflake

Posts: 2179
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted July 04, 2014 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Intent matters.

I don't really like any lies but yes.... It makes a huge difference.

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12muddy
Knowflake

Posts: 1860
From:
Registered: Feb 2013

posted July 04, 2014 09:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
To me, often there isn't anything to forgive.

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 42298
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 05, 2014 04:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree. Nothing to forgive without nmalicious intent involved.

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