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Author Topic:   This so called "friend" with a big mouth
MineAgain
Knowflake

Posts: 1403
From: Dreaming of you
Registered: Nov 2013

posted April 14, 2015 03:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MineAgain     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
[.]

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted April 14, 2015 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OMG

That is so bad!! That is no friend. Man, do you have her chart?


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MineAgain
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From: Dreaming of you
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posted April 14, 2015 05:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MineAgain     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
[;]

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted April 14, 2015 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That is TRUE betrayal. She is no friend. She, prolly, is not a loyal person, by nature. It is not your fault. We, all, have been betrayed, but your circumstances with the guy are SUPER bad.

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MineAgain
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From: Dreaming of you
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posted April 14, 2015 05:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MineAgain     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
[;]

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted April 14, 2015 05:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
YEA, Ignore. No use even discussing it. She has nothing more to say than what she DID.

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Barbiegirl19
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posted April 14, 2015 11:34 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
First don't jump to conclusions. There could be so many different reasons why she did what she did. If it were me, I'd ask her why she did it. I agree it wasn't cool but I don't necessarily consider that as betrayal. She sounds more staightforward and willing to do the things that you weren't, which is fine, perhaps it was an honest mistake on her part. Maybe she was trying to help. Still I'd talk to her about it and tell her how the situation made you feel. Get it over and done with. It solves nothing being passive, ignoring her when it may make the situation worse for you. Be straight with her in person just as you are here talking about it. You have to remember that unfortunately we humans can't read minds. She may not know how you feel and won't unless you tell her or she figures it out because you've suddenly started ignoring her. Friends are honest with friends. Be honest with her.

I honestly don't see how anything could happen badly with you and the guy. You shouldn't feel mortified but somewhat relieved. He now knows you like him! If he's also interest maybe he'll step up. Why would he or his friend mock you? Does the friend like you? That sort of behavior is common in middle school and high school, teasing the person that you secretly have a crush on. If they're that immature I wouldn't associate myself with them period. You mentioned drinking so I'm assuming you're all adults. Mature, adult men don't act like children. Childish, immature boys sure do. It's okay to like people that may not like us back. It happens all of the time. I mean look at all of the people that have crushes on celebs. You eventually get over it if nothing becomes of it. I'd just relax and be honest with yourself and them.

Good luck!

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Padre35
Knowflake

Posts: 3960
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted April 15, 2015 01:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

So funny to me, have a Virgo friend/co worker who is 100% like that and have seen him do it to other ppl.

My response is to say...nope..not telling you a damn thing, not at all..pretty blue sky..water is wet...like these shoes

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Odette
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posted April 15, 2015 02:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've only had one "friend" like that, but this was in HS so her age partially excuses her behaviour. She was Leo/Cancer Moon/Virgo Merc/Leo Venus/Scorpio Mars.
She literally had no comprehension that her behaviour was crappy O_o She thought it was just funny. Some people don't get certain things or maybe they are not very empathetic or they are bored and wanting to entertain themselves *shrug*

Please don't worry about this though or be embarrassed. You have absolutely no reason to be embarrassed! Her behaviour is very immature and no one gives a damn about these "office rumour" type things. It all blows over pretty quickly.

You should just ignore the subject completely and if she brings him up - change the topic of conversation and talk about a different guy you met who you may or may not date - and pretend you are asking her for advice about this *other* guy, to shift her attention.
If it doesn't work right away, the next day you can invent a "problem" with the made up guy and pretend you are fretting about the problem (e.g. "He is not calling" lol) - and again ask her for advice.

As for your office crush... If he does like you, which he might considering he always comes over and talks to you, he will feel encouraged by the rumour and probably ask you out.
If he is not interested, then he might detach. But no one who is a normal, adult person would go and mock you with their friends for liking them. These are your insecurities talking, because this not something that is likely to happen at all.
If he does anything like this (which I strongly doubt!) then he is clearly not the right guy for you and he is still in primary school mentally :/
If this very unlikely situation occurs you can: a) Count yourself lucky! You now know he is an immature jerk and can stir clear, and b) Forget about it because it will all blow over in less than two days, if you launch rumours about other men in your life.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted April 17, 2015 02:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What is going on with this situation, M?

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MineAgain
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From: Dreaming of you
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posted April 19, 2015 07:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MineAgain     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My "friend" apologized to me right away after she got home from work. She bombarded me with texts apologizing for her behavior.

We talked it through the following day and I chose to "forgive" her for making this mistake, but I won't forget. I'll keep my feelings close to my chest from now on. I won't trust her anymore.

As for the guy, he's been starring at me a lot more lately. He would sit right in front of me at lunch and just stare. If I'm in the kitchen making coffee, he just stares at me ...

On Friday, he talked to me and asked me if I had any friends to hang out with in the city (I'm an expat). He told me I should got out more with people from work, unless I hate locals (he's the only local in the company, all the others are (recent) expats). He also asked me: "Do you prefer clubs/bars, concerts ...? blah blah ..."

I don't know if he was hinting at going out with him specifically, but I feel as though that's what he was getting at.

He and I were always bickering before this (me, usually being cold to him whenever he talked to me/made a joke ...).

I'm not sure where this is going, whether I should thank her or not (yet).

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SaturnFan
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posted April 19, 2015 08:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SaturnFan     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, she might have done you a favour, but this still doesn't excuse her attitude.

I think you're doing the best thing at the moment - forgiving her but not trusting her in the future, and seeing how things unfold with the guy.

He does seem interested, judging by how you describe his behaviour

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Ami Anne
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posted April 19, 2015 08:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He likes you, I think. Guys can be really shy! xx

Don't trust her again, though. Once someone breaks my trust, it is over lol

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MineAgain
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posted April 19, 2015 08:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MineAgain     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm definitely not trusting her again.

I frankly told her that her behavior was immature and plain rude. You cannot behave this way in a work environment and the "shut up" wasn't necessary.

I have enough dignity not to behave this way. She still remains a "friend" at work, but that's about it. No matter what happens with the guy, she won't be updated. She's far too immature to be working in such environment.

This was not a classy move. I'm a pretty demure/reserved individual and for her to put me on the spot like that, it was way out of line. I would never embarrass someone this way.

Regardless of what this guy thinks of me, I now know she cannot be trusted, period.

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CatMote
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From: Fighting Neptune for his trident
Registered: Apr 2013

posted April 19, 2015 10:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CatMote     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
im going to laugh so hard when you end up dating the guy you like because of this girls slip up! sometimes you need people to do that for you...because you werent going to do it on your own. dont make such a big deal out of it.

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Barbiegirl19
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posted April 19, 2015 10:25 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CatMote:
im going to laugh so hard when you end up dating the guy you like because of this girls slip up! sometimes you need people to do that for you...because you werent going to do it on your own. dont make such a big deal out of it.


Agreed. MineAgain, I think you should relax. If it weren't for this girl he would have no idea that you even liked him. If anything happens between you two, it's her you'll owe thanks. The whole situation reminds of the petty drama in high school. It's not worth all of the stress or to be blown so out of proportion. Just relax.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 19, 2015 11:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CatMote:
im going to laugh so hard when you end up dating the guy you like because of this girls slip up! sometimes you need people to do that for you...because you werent going to do it on your own. dont make such a big deal out of it.


I agree that good can come from bad but I would not trust HER again

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Barbiegirl19
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posted April 19, 2015 12:15 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I agree that good can come from bad but I would not trust HER again



You've said the same thing several times now. I think everyone gets it. You don't have to constantly repeat yourself.

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Odette
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posted April 19, 2015 06:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well he sounds like a cool person and he seems to really like you - so it's no big deal that she did this.

However, if he was an uncool person who did not like you and who rejected you as a result of this - the whole thing could've hurt your feelings.
So yeah what she did was immature and inconsiderate, either way.

I'm glad you guys are talking more. He'll ask you out any day now!

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 19, 2015 06:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Well he sounds like a cool person and he seems to really like you - so it's no big deal that she did this.

However, if he was an uncool person who did not like you and who rejected you as a result of this - the whole thing could've hurt your feelings.
So yeah what she did was immature and inconsiderate, either way.

I'm glad you guys are talking more. He'll ask you out any day now!



Yep. Good wisdom, as usual, Odette!

Do you have many oppositions? You seem very clear thinking and I know I am that way with the opposition void lol


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Odette
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posted April 19, 2015 08:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If you count planets only - I only have one opposition (Venus/Pluto on my Nodes) that completes my bowl chart.

If you count Chiron - then I also have Chiron opposite Saturn, like everyone born around the same time as me.
And Ceres in Virgo (on IC) opposite Jupiter/Vesta/Karma/MC in Pisces.

I'm not always clear thinking though lol My Mercury sq Uranus can be pretty crazy at times haha but thank you Ami!

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 19, 2015 08:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Chiron doesn't count with Unaspected etc

You are super clear thinking

I am that way, not to brag. I can just see things clearly.

People always come to me for advice cuz I seem to be able to hone things down simply and clearly.

I never gave myself credit for this because I did not see my own good traits enough but it is a gift.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted April 19, 2015 08:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am not always, either, Odette

I have a lot of fears----Cancer Moon and Mars

I crack myself up though. I am such a nut

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Stawr
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posted April 20, 2015 01:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry you are going through this. This is why I don't dare tell people who I have a crush on. I only tell people if I know they wont meet them so that I can't be embarrassed.

I have a crush on an guy at work, and now that it's spring, I get to see him wear t shirts. I love the sight of his arms. LOL! I have a coworker I trust, but I don't dare tell her.
I did tell my friend about it who doesn't work with me though.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 20, 2015 11:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Stawr:
Sorry you are going through this. This is why I don't dare tell people who I have a crush on. I only tell people if I know they wont meet them so that I can't be embarrassed.

I have a crush on an guy at work, and now that it's spring, I get to see him wear t shirts. I love the sight of his arms. LOL! I have a coworker I trust, but I don't dare tell her.
I did tell my friend about it who doesn't work with me though.



You get smart when you have been betrayed or maybe you are just smart, in general

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