posted September 19, 2015 11:01 PM            

8 is really young. Not too young to be bad, but too young to be guilty of "dark manipulation", unless something is really wrong.

She's probably pretty messed up, not having a home (50/50 for a Cancer or Taurus is basically homeless), and not really having that secure environment from the the only 2 people that matter in an 8 year old's life. That's not a judgement of the parents, it's just the way it is with divorce. You get one tired and over-worked parent, or you get two parents who love their child, and who in most cases, because of guilt, are constantly trying to prove it, which ironically is painful for the child because she desperately needs somewhere to relax, and is exhausted by constantly having to respond (negatively or positively- doesn't matter) to overcompensation. Some people co-parent successfully, which frees them from the guilt, but that requires deep respect and a solid friendship between the two parents.

It's not natural to have a connection with all children. I work with a lot of children, and I try to be honest about my ability to connect with a child for the sake of the child. I've had a time or two where I was just too annoyed to work with a child...but it usually had more to do with the other adults involved, acting as bad influences, than it did the child. I had to let go, and throw in the towel, in those cases because things were negative between the child and I too much of the time. We couldn't create enough success to make us willing to forgive the challenges.

My experience with children is they will usually become what you tell them they are. Tell them they are very nice, and they will work to keep you thinking that. When they understand what your expectations are, they try to meet them. 8 years old? She wants you to like her a lot, if not love her. Just let her know how to achieve that. The process is as simple as training a dog. Ummhmm. I said it.

My unorganized 2 pence. For the children.