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Author
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Topic: Psychology question...
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Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 15, 2015 06:30 PM
  
:edit:Thank you so much for your help guys 
I'm sorry about editing everything, but I kind of gave this some thought - and I feel awkward about discussing these things behind his back. The things he has told me are really private. I guess I feel like I'm breaking his trust, even if he never finds out about it.
It's just the Pisces in me.. I'm being a bit weird I guess.. Things were a lot better in the final conversation we had. His spirits were up and it seems he is ok overall. I think he was probably having a really bad day - and this might not be as serious as I initially thought it was.
So I'm hoping - he'll be fine  Please don't get annoyed with me for deleting. Your advice has really helped me, as always - and I really appreciate it! 
I just don't feel "right" about posting this here... that's all. IP: Logged |
Desiring Shadows
Knowflake Posts: 3177
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 15, 2015 06:35 PM
So like
If a Mormom person was trying to help me out of my depression or addiction problems and I'm Jewish I would probably listen because I need to fix that problem and I'm well aware of it.. He's well aware of it but he's probably just interested in the areas of improvement.. He doesn't want the religious make believe portion If u really want to help him just cut that part out. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 15, 2015 08:02 PM
:edit:IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1597
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 15, 2015 08:47 PM
To me it seems like he's trying to hint and beat around the bush that he likes you but is hoping that he'll get a clue from you about how you feel.
At least trying to have you kind of get on his level so that he can offer advice/help and develop mutual feelings. An attempt to have a deeper connection by having you expose yourself.
He's not Pluto/scorpio heavily influenced is he? Or perhaps Virgo, depending on details. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 15, 2015 09:10 PM
:edit:IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 15, 2015 09:11 PM
:edit:IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 7681
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 16, 2015 01:28 AM
If he doesn't want advice, then he isn't ready to do something - or he already knows what he needs to do. That's been my personal experience. I'm not sure what else to say.As long as he isn't shamed for his feelings, you should be fine. IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1597
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 16, 2015 06:40 AM
He could be assuming that you have "issues" or things that weigh you down. There could be a few reasons, as I've mentioned.
It's like he has something specific on his mind that he's hoping that you have on your mind but he's afraid to and/or just wants you to initiate the conversation. I don't mean to seem insulting about your friend but in my opinion it's kind of an immature behavior. I keep coming back to him hoping that you have this secret crush.
It probably is a separate thing from his other issues. Those issues probably genuinely bother him. I don't doubt that. Since you haven't run away and are being so helpful then he could be developing a sort of false hope of romance that will spring up from your end.
It would build his confidence which he may be lacking and do what I think is very unhealthy - depend on someone else for his happiness. (I've been here in my youth which is my personal experience that I'm falling back on).
All a big web of him clawing around for love or someone to make him happy. It's a very tough lesson yet, a wonderful reward to discover that it comes from within.
Pardon my repeating and jumping around. My thoughts change slightly as I go along and spill out.
So I've just come to a conclusion I suppose. That he's trying to create romance (but doesn't have the confidence) where there is none in an attempt to drown out his issues with it. He's doing that by opening the door ("ask me anything") to step inside. To be private and revealing with each other. IP: Logged |
Desiring Shadows
Knowflake Posts: 3177
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 16, 2015 03:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
I see what you mean! That's good advice...I'm just a bit thrown off by all the "you can ask me anything"... but at the same time.. not asking *me* questions..
And not being receptive to advice.. So maybe he doesn't want advice at all...
I'm not even sure what to ask him... lol I'm not a reporter interviewing him...
Haha that's true! You are not a reporter interviewing him! Maybe he has poor social skills ? Maybe he judged you as a crazy dumb person for believing Astrology?? You never know it could happen.. Actually a lot of people do that with Astrology.. Lol they're ignorant and won't even let you tell them more about it!Maybe tbats just his personality? I don't really ask that many questions either... People are like that
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Desiring Shadows
Knowflake Posts: 3177
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 16, 2015 03:30 PM
Thiis must be an Earth Moon type of story because I didn't think you were interested in him romantically I just thought you were interested in him as a person and wanted to help him out... But I mean if you like the guy and are putting this much effort into him it's understandable you would want him to reciprocate those feelings..IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 7430
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted December 16, 2015 04:07 PM
I'd have to be there to feel him out to say anything helpful...but I can say that if this were me in your shoes, I doubt I'd be able to resist asking him all sorts of zany questions. Could be fun. He might have a sense of humor that makes it even more so. Or he might finally get tired of beating around the bush.IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 16, 2015 07:49 PM
:edit:IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1597
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 16, 2015 08:46 PM
Yes. That is a terribly tough spot to be in. I genuinely an not really sure what to tell you.
I suppose the best course of action would be not to change much. It's a delicate dance to do but rocking his world in one way or another is probably not the best I would imagine.
Gosh it's a tough spot. I don't want to sound negative but I don't want to say, "awww don't worry. I'm sure it'll all work out".
It may though! We just don't know.
I think just keep doing what you're doing.  Steady, supportive, calm, rational. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 17, 2015 04:59 AM
:edit:IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1597
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 18, 2015 06:21 AM
You alright Odette? IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 18, 2015 10:20 AM
Actually, no... I'm not. How did you know?
Thanks for checking up on me DopGang I have no way of describing what is going on. But it's extremely Uranian, because we have both (unintentionally) shocked each other.
The last conversation we had was so shocking that I said I couldn't talk anymore (I felt numb/speechless), and he said he feels like he is everywhere and needs to lie down. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 18, 2015 10:20 AM
DpIP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1597
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 18, 2015 10:46 AM
It's instinct/intuition I guess.  I'm having gut feelings about it all (about what might be going on that you haven't said). I don't know how else to explain it. It's like is dropping out of the sky into my head. Something to that effect.
With the little things that you have explained here, it feels like it hits close to home. At least what I call my "old self". I'm really thankful to not be there anymore. (What I'm feeling is that he represents what I call my old self - not you). It's not fun.
I'm kind of imagining what he may have said. I'm imagining declaring much deeper feelings for you than you were expecting, catching you by surprise. Perhaps him misreading your feelings/intentions. Kind of a Venus square Neptune thing.
Maybe my gut is wrong but I'm thinking things along that line.
I can edit this out if you want, after you've read it. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 18, 2015 11:21 AM
Yes he did declare deeper feelings, which did surprise me, but he also understands that I'm not in the same boat - and he seemed ok-ish with it. Although it didn't stop him from continuing to declare his feelings. The shocking part was something neither of us could have anticipated and - it wasn't actually connected to this, as such. We have a Sun/Uranus double whammy. My Sun is square his, and his Sun is conjunct mine. Dopgang - Please tell me where do you think this is going? Why is he declaring his feelings like this was a shakespearean tragedy?
He does have a Scorpio Venus... and I've had a slightly similar experience before with this Venus sign, but it wasn't days into knowing the person... IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1597
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 18, 2015 11:48 AM
To me the whole thing screams "Neptune", though both Pluto and Neptune influence me, so who knows. That's not the most important thing right now anyway.
I'm going to give you a very short, clear distinction which should sum it up.Normally you'd expect the attitude to be, "I will win you over. I will have you. I will make you love me."
In this case it's, "I've won you over. I have you. You love me. You're just not seeing it yet."
See what I mean? He's built the relationship in his head. It exists. It's a living, active relationship that in his mind, you're just not aware of yet. You don't see it. The "relationship" itself is very much like a Shakespearean romance. Full of consuming love, passion, obsession, romance. There's no obstacle that can stop it, not even you. Because once you see it, you'll want it. (How he likely sees it)
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DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1597
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 18, 2015 12:21 PM
Edit: decided to wait for your response before posting what I was further thinking. IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1597
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 18, 2015 06:23 PM
I feel concerned about you.
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Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 19, 2015 04:12 AM
DopGang - Please don't worry about me. I will figure things out!
Thank you so much for your help
You're right about Neptune playing a role, because we also have my Sun closely square his Neptune🐬IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1597
From: The land of WP
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 19, 2015 07:00 AM
Sound good!
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Odette
Moderator Posts: 6527
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 19, 2015 06:50 PM
DopGang I created a thread here about our Chiron aspects, if you have some time to have a look: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/004344.html There were some glitches with it, but I hope it's all good now. Thank you so much for helping me! You're extra intuitive IP: Logged |
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