posted January 14, 2016 09:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Deal breaker for me. Not because it's such an awful thing that I couldn't look past it but because I take it as sign (warning) of things yet to come.

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^Same here. I hate passive-aggressiveness and guilt tripping behavior even in the most casual of aquaintances, and every time I overlooked it or made excuses for it because of supposedly redeeming qualities in the person, it bit me in the butt later, so no more accepting such things.

posted January 14, 2016 12:35 PM            

However, just cuz a person is not does not mean he is not a good match for you imo

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posted January 14, 2016 07:56 PM            

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posted January 14, 2016 08:00 PM            

I use that term in terms of not "usual" and hence, when things feel 'out of control/difference/ weird, people's worst sides/manipulative sides come out.

We all have these shadow sides. We all have parts of us that we don't like, don't want people to see and don't WANT to use, but uncomfortable/strange/out of control situations bring them out.

Hence, I think you should level with him because he is prolly hurt that you don't "like him like he likes you"

You DO like him but your signals are saying otherwise imo

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posted January 14, 2016 08:30 PM            

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posted January 14, 2016 09:01 PM            

Be honest with him. You are a cool and amazing person. Be YOU!

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posted January 14, 2016 09:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Wow. I really suck.

I should've stirred clear of this from the beginning.

I'm going to walk around with a sign that says "Celibate and not interested" - and if someone approaches me I will be like:

"So... if Sheldon's character was female.. How would you feel about dating that woman? Please be honest.. and then move on with your life, in the knowledge that you will be with someone who is SO much better for you, than I will ever be!"

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posted January 15, 2016 09:33 AM            

Odette--you are AMAZING, just as you are.

You have a different manner of interacting, which is very real and can be very confusing to people who have not experienced it before.

Hence, I think you need to tell him, but in broad strokes, not all the details because it is "too much information" at this point and may scare him.

I would tell him that it takes you a while to warm up, so you want to go slowly and that it is not because you don't care, but just your nature.

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posted January 15, 2016 01:20 PM            

Any guy would be the luckiest guy in the world to be her guy.

I want to encourage you, Odette, to let him know you, little by little.

You have nothing to be ashamed of, if you are feeling this.

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posted January 15, 2016 07:38 PM            

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posted January 15, 2016 07:43 PM            

I would say that if you understand your issues and want him to accept them, you have to understand his BUT if there is no real soul, why bother?

This is how I look at it anyway.

I think there are several layers going on here.

1. You have issues with going slowly.

2. He may be insecure due to this plus his own insecurities, in general.

3. You are both just getting to know each other and it can be weird during that time.

4. The main thing I would want to know about him was if he had CHARACTER.
The charts do not really show this but they can show us quite a bit, which may sound like a paradox but I think you can see if he has a nature you can LIVE with by looking at the synastry.

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posted January 15, 2016 08:25 PM            

And damn if you do or don't. I don't feel like going into it. The unspoken rules are IMPOSSIBLE to live up to without giving someone miffed a reason to call foul on you. Plus, many misinterpret what I say, just as was done to you, that is you were honest, they thought you were playing a game they had to "figure out," like solve the puzzle and win the prize (you) as they were hoping. Give them an inch and they'll demand a mile, and pout if they don't get it.

posted January 15, 2016 08:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Many people not only want to monopolize your time but also even take a friendly gesture, smile, or basic courtesy as a sign of romantic or sexual interest. Not everyone, but enough do it--and I've even seen it promoted in popular magazines, by gurus, and such--that if I didn't have so much Sag, I think I'd just give everyone around me a cold glare just to protect myself and prevent misunderstandings (though technically that would be misunderstood as my hating everyone, when it's actually I hate the games common in society).

And damn if you do or don't. I don't feel like going into it. The unspoken rules are IMPOSSIBLE to live up to without giving someone miffed a reason to call foul on you. Plus, many misinterpret what I say, just as was done to you, that is you were honest, they thought you were playing a game they had to "figure out," like solve the puzzle and win the prize (you) as they were hoping. Give them an inch and they'll demand a mile, and pout if they don't get it.

And I can relate to you here, that's all I feel like saying on it.

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Thank you Pixie!