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posted June 04, 2022 01:00 AM            

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I had so many friends "abandon" me through the years that I find it hard to consider someone a friend today. I'm in defence mode cause I don't want to hurt again. I've become bitter and I don't think I have to offer anything and I'm not good friendship material anymore. Nobody wants a depressed friend and I'm in peace with that.

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posted June 04, 2022 05:04 PM            

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Cancermoon83💙
Being disabled and getting progressively worse since 1989,
And now cancers of various kinds and being mostly bed bound and all since October 2019,
well old friends if not dead yet, most are, and pretty much all my social online friends have dumped me.
LindaLand is my last best place at least at this time tp connect with people.
I know though that quite a few who were my fb etcetera friends pretty much have nothing to do with me these past few years.
Who wants to deal with folks being all gloomy doomy about they might have terminal cancer and more woes.
So yes I feel for you and can relate.💙
Sad to see you and other folks like this
must just accept it as fact and try to move pn. these dismal states of living.
Yes the betrayals and worse definitely set me off ever bothering to get close with anyone ever again. I do not have the time nor the
energy to devote to hear games.
I have always known that me my myself and I are the best friends and whom I can safely place my trust in.🥰
I do not know how old yo are.
If still under 50 r so and not disabled
or impoverished,
my advice would be that life is too short
to give up on others just yet.
However if you are like me pushing 70:and no idea if I will even live another year,
and being mostly bed bound
yeah unless a great miracle of good
luck like winning the lottery so that
I can live better by buying a handicapped
accessable home and can to transport myself and wheelchair etcetera for both myself and my disabled husband;
who has a terminal disease:
There is no logical reason to even try in person to even try.
Also same for online.
I have trouble keeping up as it is even online.

Best of luck and blessing to you Cancermoon83💙🍀🌠

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Take a look at my
LexIgramming/LexAgramming Biography
Nearly 2/3 of a century to date of
♥ LexAgramming
Lexperience!🔠✍️

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posted June 04, 2022 05:08 PM            

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Pardon my typos. Vision working out today.😔

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posted June 05, 2022 01:48 AM            

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Wrong thread

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posted June 05, 2022 09:17 AM            

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Thank you Lexxigramer <3
I'm about to be 39 but I don't think age matters in these things.It's your personality,your outlook on life,the way you care about people,and in some cases luck,that makes it easy to make and maintain friendships.
For me,as the yeas go by,I care less and less about "friends",especially after being abandoned by them.They say you can't give to others what you haven't been given first.In this case love and care.It is cruel to say to a depressed friend that you want them off your life,especially when they've done you no harm.It's not like I'm a walking depression,I try to be pleasant to others and have a sense of humor.But yeah,I've become cold and cynical and couldn't care less about them now.At least for the ones I used to call friends.
I was always more of a love-oriented person anyway,and less of a friendship person.In love relationships I care deeply and can be very nurturing.But friends have always betrayed me,especially female friends.
Of course it would be nice to have a friend I could go grab a coffee with sometimes,or go shopping,or even just call when I feel sad.But I've learned too much not to count on other people to pretend that I need them now.You can't have everything in life.

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posted June 05, 2022 12:38 PM            

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Thank you Cancermoon83 💖
I definitely relate to all you have sad.💙😔
I wish that I could help you feel better but I know just like me there is really nothing folks can say that helps for more than a few moments and then back into my abyss.
Oddly it is becoming safer being alone in the abyss than dealing with most of the human race.
I post here at LL,
and especially at Lexigram Magic in my efforts to not jus give up on it all and disappear.
Female so called friends 👽 oh yeah never had much good luck with them.
Backstabbing lying cheating sneaking out for themselves and worse. I never fit in with all their likes and all.
My best friends are all long dead and were people much older and male or women over 84 yeas old.
My husband of going on 25 yeas married to me, is betwixt your and my ages, he. Will be 53
in a couple of weeks.
He is the only love and friend I have left in physical life. I try to have them online and appreciate any scraps of kindness but it never fails the friends for real void.
I too am more love oriented. Not sex but love and being in sync with others.
Even that has failed me and just when I think I have found any kindred souls they turn on me and their fakeness and cruelty just pushes me farther away from even trying and the damn PTSD kicks in and I avoid their poison and them from then on. When I am done with a person I am done. There is not starting over ever. Ponce trust has ben murdered then they are no one to me not even enemy, just a bit of a nasty excuse for being a human being.
Trust can never be regained. Never ever nope.
I agree yes it is not all about age.
I have never fit in with all with other people usually unless they are much much older.
On of my friends was 😎 lived in a one room dirt floor shack in the woods and was an apiarist and his shack smelled of dill pickles being brined in the huge crocks he
also used as a setee with a board covering them.
I was 14 and he was 102 😎
That was an 88 year age gap betwixt us
but we adored each other and oh my the wonderful conversations we had whilst eating honey from his bees on bread and dill pickles 😎
He also made sassafras tea from the wild trees and showed me many things to eat and use from the woods.
Most of my best friends from childhood were born as long ago as 1866 and few after 1925 or so.
Guess I was born in the wrong time maybe?
Keep posting Cancermoon83 if you desire to do so. I find your posts make me feel that I am not alone in the way I feel about people in general.
Been betrayed and worse far too many times in my life to date and used and abused and worse.
Our personal caves and abysses can be calm and comfortable safe havens and not dark dank place of soul doom.
On that note I am going there for awhile to try and regenerate.
Hope your day is calm and pleasant enough💖
🌺🌼🌻
PS pardon any typos please.

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Take a look at my
LexIgramming/LexAgramming Biography
Nearly 2/3 of a century to date of
♥ LexAgramming
Lexperience!🔠✍️

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posted June 05, 2022 05:38 PM            

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I missed my one friend last year when she was here in her home state. The timing was so bad. It was a beach day and I was on my period. As much as I wanted to see her, I just needed to lay in a dark room, watch TV all day. I felt really bad, like I missed my chance. My husband warns me that the more you say no, the less you'll get invited to things.

I will be up for it this time.

I am so glad I have no plans this weekend, because in a few weeks I'll have two beach parties in a row.

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posted June 05, 2022 06:43 PM            

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Stawr 💙
I hope such things do not keep interfering with your social life at least not often.
Since becoming disabled and progressively worse since 1989;
Pretty much no one in my physical world wants anything to do with me.👽
What is really creepy and sad is that most take it personally when I have to turn down invitations .👽😡
At least no one even bothers for the most part since about 2014 when my bouts of being bed bound became more frequent and then COVID hit and oh well there goes any physical connections.
What saddens me the most is that my son wants nothing to do with me because I did not attend his first wedding which was over 1,200 miles or so away from where I live.
It was impossible for me to take the trip and as it was I as actually lying in an Emergency Room at the time his wedding ceremony was being performed!👽☹️
He has since divorced and remarried and I have two grandchildren and a new daughter-in-law but geez.....
what part of I am too ill for physical visits do people not get?👽
Even here at,LindaLand I greatly offended a few folks who wanted to come meet me in person.
It was impossible for several personal reasons, and not under my control to accommodate their desires,
but instead of trying to be understanding they basically turned against me with a strange fury.👽
Those were a few ugly times here at LL.😥
So no more trying to get close.
Fighting cancer and more these days I simply do not have the energy to even try.
Apologies for my ranting.
Not being able to be physically social is no fun and not anything I do by choice these days and often before too at times.
Again hope your social life does not have too many health related hangups keeping you from enjoying the company of your friend and friends 😎💖

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♥ LexAgramming
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posted June 21, 2022 02:45 PM            

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Bump!

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posted June 27, 2022 03:23 PM            

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Lexx what you have shared makes me deeply sad! I will keep you in my thoughts for better and healing connections with others.

Luckily I saw my friend last weekend. It was amazing. We will also be in the same state in the late summer, and intend to go on a double date!

I just realize that some of my partying friend and small group friend, I have known for almost 10 years now!

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posted July 14, 2022 06:58 PM            

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Bump!

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posted July 20, 2022 06:09 PM            

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Sometimes I think good Saturn synastry can make for a kind of friendship where even if you aren't super close, it has a longer standing chance in friendships that were closer. And then the person is kind of like "wow you really stuck around" there is this loyalty even if you aren't super close.

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posted September 26, 2022 04:33 PM            

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posted September 27, 2022 12:45 AM            

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Mercury retrograde in Libra(also my 5th house) seems to be making it hard and pointless to make any new social plans right now. I've reached out to like 3 people nothing is sticking, and I'm not taking it personally.

Also I think Pluto moving off squaring my 11th house Sun is also telling me that this shall pass.

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posted October 15, 2022 07:14 PM            

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Bump!

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posted November 22, 2022 01:53 PM            

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Bump!

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posted November 22, 2022 09:38 PM            

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I have FRIENDS who have been more emotionally supportive of my husband, and my immediate family. I'm sure we all know a handful of people who have horrific in-laws.

Don't let toxic people keep you from having friends. During this time my immediate family has made me sick to my stomach with disgust. I was having a real rock bottom day. I could barely move. But then my emotionally supportive friend called me, and I could move again.

People I only see at parties, my ride and die coworker, a friend I haven't seen since 2007, someone I've only seen twice, etc!

Current 11th, Uranus, Aquarius transits are
Pluto Square Sun h11
Saturn Aquarius sextile Sun h11
Saturn Aquarius oppose moon
Saturn Aquarius oppose Pluto
Saturn Aquarius oppose Lilith
Saturn oppose IC
Saturn conjunct MC
Saturn oppose SN
Saturn oppose NN
Mars rx trine Aquarius Mars
Mars rx sextile Sun h11
Mars rx trine MC
Uranus square MC
Uranus square IC
Uranus oppose Moon
Uranus oppose Pluto
Uranus oppose Lilith
Uranus square NN
Uranus square SN
Uranus conjunct Mercury
Uranus trine Neptune
Uranus transit 12th house
Eris transit 11th house
Chiron transit 11th house
Elvia transit 11th house

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posted December 04, 2022 01:43 PM            

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It's even difficult keeping current friends sometimes.

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posted December 07, 2022 11:47 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
It's even difficult keeping current friends sometimes.

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It sure is. Sometimes I think certain astrology transits can bring the worst out of people.

It has not been the hottest times for Leo's Aquarius, Taurus and Scorpio's.

I feel like Leo's everywhere are experiencing some sort of ego death or are resisting one very hard.

Me and my one friend have been giving each other space. I had to remind my self that I am going through my own crap and so is he. It is not my place to try to humble him.

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posted December 08, 2022 12:00 AM            

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After what I've been though I just want to help people. But I must always help myself first. And people can only be helped so much. I must feel a strong sense of trust to want to help people in fear of the person stressing me out, getting entitled, disturbing my peace.

I have reached out to somebody struggling. Their reasons are valid. But I made sure to establish firm boundaries.

Because of what I've been though in the past, I try to word my choices carefully, and establish firm boundaries like "If I don't pick up my phone I will call back when it's a good time for me" etc.

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posted December 11, 2022 01:55 AM            

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Woohoo Pluto square my 11th house Sun moved another degree!

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posted December 24, 2022 04:13 PM            

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Bump!

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posted December 31, 2022 12:33 AM            

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Pluto is no longer squaring my sun!! (ever again?? I think so. Depends on the next retrograde)

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posted January 04, 2023 08:09 PM            

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For the first time in two months I've been seeing my friends.

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posted January 05, 2023 05:20 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Stawr:
For the first time in two months I've been seeing my friends.

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