posted August 22, 2021 01:32 AM
Sometimes the spark is just not there, and other people expect it to be. And on top of that other people just can't tell or take a slight hint.
For example my sister's husband and her friend's fiancÚ. My sister and friend had this expectation that their SO would hit it off. They don't have any beef...but sister and friend realized they were forcing it too much. Once they eased off, they did start to hang out genuinely.
Ugh but girls...that another thing to get into. Haha! Like if there really is an issue with another girl...but you are trying not to make a big deal out of it.
MY MOM was notorious for not picking up on these hints. (or at least I would hope so!)
I'm from a small town so if my mom saw girls in my sister's class walking down the street, that my sister was not really cool with (she had to at least be in 5th grade and girls can get so mean much earlier than that) My mom would holler at the girls in sister's class walking down the street and try to make my sister come outside to say "hi" to them.
My mom would try to push me with friend's I was drifting apart from. One girl didn't like me anymore cause she liked performing but could not sing. I would get parts in plays and she didn't. This would continue to happen several more times. I got a part in the play and she didn't thanks to her I got really into performing. The resentment and jealously kicked in. She would write notes to other girls not to talk to me over it.
So my mom would do this thing where if I was just chilling in the home she would be like "why don't you call up this person." Oh yes she did that to me with that girl. I did not want to go there with my mom. Because my mom socializes with that girls mom a lot. And I just did not feel like I could talk to my mom about it.
What does my mom do? She picks up the house phone dials their house number and hands me THE PHONE. Yeah my mom put me on the spot.
So I go over her house and the girl was ****** off that I was over her house.
I eventually told my mom, and asked her if she feels like an a$s for doing that to me and she said "yes" lol
But when she did it to me when I was 16 I was not having it! I even already had a friend over...and she was trying to get us to hand out with a childhood friend. But my mom was well aware that we weren't close. So then this new friend has to see me telling off my mom.
But now as an adult I am dealing with this with sister in law. Most of the time we do our best to stay classy. Mostly me with the class though that may sound biased. Like I can at least get over my self if she gets married and has a baby. She cannot do the same for me in return.
But I really get a long with husbands cousins around our age. So his cousins assume the same. It's very uncomfortable. I went to husbands cousin's bridal shower assuming I'd see now sister in law. She was a no show. So then his cousin asks me if she is coming. I was an idiot and tried to over-compensate like "oh yeah she'll be here!" Because I was going to see her later for a family birthday. So I figure she is just running late or something.
I don't want to be put on the spot and say "I didn't talk to her about it and I don't want to."
So then that cousin calls her to make sure she is okay and coming. I don't know how it all went down but ohhh shhhit! She chose not to come, and she didn't even tell them that she wasn't coming. I don't know the details...and not only that I get to see husband's sister later after telling her cousin she is coming when she wasn't.
I am judging. How to you not go to your cousin's bridal shower?
So then for cousin getting married this year. I knew better this time. Cousin's dad asks me if she is coming? I just say "I don't think she's coming" This shower has RSVP so why I am I being asked? Probably cause she straight up just doesn't respond. I think it does look bad that she doesn't go but I choose to go.
But oh my God I got invited to her bachelorette party on the spot. And then they assure me that she will be coming to that so that I can be more comfortable or something. LOL!! I would rather sit next to a stranger that's how awful she is.
But it kind of like I'm trying to not be tacky or make this anyone's business, but at the same time it's like OMG people will you please stop it already? So many sister in laws can have that buddy relationship but this is not always the case, even if we don't behave like hillbillies about it.
These things can be hard to pick up on. Sometimes something will be said later in private, and I'll be floored to later find out that certain people don't get along with each other. But even with me being unaware at first I don't think I've been in a situation where I assume and put people together.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who deals with this.