posted May 09, 2015 07:06 AM            

Venus conjunct the South Node supposedly indicates a past love connection, if nothing else, it could give a sense of strong familiarity. You also have Venus square the North Node/South Node, the growth indicated by this placement could be very attractive. There may be a sense of having a mission to accomplish, which one feels they cannot achieve without the other. Saturn conjunct the South Node could give this a feeling of fatedness, and difficulty breaking away.

posted May 09, 2015 10:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Karen,

Venus conjunct the South Node supposedly indicates a past love connection, if nothing else, it could give a sense of strong familiarity. You also have Venus square the North Node/South Node, the growth indicated by this placement could be very attractive. There may be a sense of having a mission to accomplish, which one feels they cannot achieve without the other. Saturn conjunct the South Node could give this a feeling of fatedness, and difficulty breaking away.

I'm an astro-rookie, so, pinch of salt!

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Thank you! I appreciate your input. I've been trying to find out more about astroid synastry but, to be honest, I'm forgetting the most important thing of all - "be still and listen"

To be honest, this man makes me feel manic. When he first engaged, I kind of blew him off. He persisted so I started talking to him and within a few days it felt like we knew and understood each other in a way that had seemed impossible only a short time before. Suddenly he withdrew. I was shocked, a little angry and hurt - but I told myself to rise above the petty emotions because all signs point to him being something very important in my life. All along I've known that even though it feels fated or karmic that those words don't necessarily mean "soul mate" or "happily ever after" -- they CAN, but it's just as likely that he's here to teach me something essential to my soul growth.

I actually just sent him a long message - perhaps Karma will have to hit me up again later since I know I'm running away from this lesson. I told him that I feel that I am pushing too hard and I am ready to admit that the feelings were one-sided and I'll leave him in peace. I truly think that if he felt a modicum of what I'm feeling he would be powerless to pull away.

The thing is, when we met, I wasn't looking for a man or romance or a relationship. I'm extremely busy - to the point that I hardly have time for any life outside of work. I could take as much time as I wanted for "life' but I know that every bit of effort I put into my career right now will pay off with huge dividends in the coming two years. So, I'm focused on building my business - and I enjoy doing that! It's really kind of thrilling to know that for the first time ever, I'm building something larger than myself. It was pretty easy to blow him off at first - until that moment - it was like he possessed the long lost key to the pandora's boys inside my soul. He unleashed feelings and emotions that I long ago put aside. And for a few weeks, it was exhilarating. Love, and hope and excitement - the feeling that someone FINALLY understood me - and liked it! It was better than any drug. It was warm and gooey and light and airy and it made me feel safe - invincible, tbh.

I know he was put in my path for a reason. Ever the Optimistic Aires, I assumed he was the ONE. That one person who could know me and love me explore with me, comfort and be comforted - and yeah, I ran in head first and broke my crown (again). I still have no idea what the lesson for me is. Maybe it's to learn, once and for all, that the elusive "soul mate" doesn't exist for me and to stop fooling myself. Maybe I should be content with the kind of love that isn't fairy tale stuff - just the best that another broken person can give. He did remind me that I long for that larger than life, star-struck love - but that only illuminates the fact that I've subconsciously allowed my impossible standards to compel me to turn away perfectly good, ordinary love. Maybe I needed to know again that there is a reason I locked away my heart - because the pain is inevitable and excruciating.

With an abundance of planets (and astroids) in fire signs - I am drawn to the flame, like a moth and like the moth, I am always surprised when my wings catch fire and I plummet tot he depths.

All of the illusions that resonate with me involve fire. I have identified (not proudly) with the Phoenix most of my life. Everything burns up in a fiery destruction full of pain and misery - and then, magically, life springs forth again. It's not a fun way to exist. I had hoped that the cycles of death and rebirth would get farther apart as I learned karmic lessons - but the truth is, they can never be far enough apart for the death phase to lose any of it's ferocious power.

posted May 09, 2015 10:59 AM            

PS - I've looked and googled and searched every which way I can imagine but to no avail. What on earth do those aspect symbols that look like an apostrophe (') mean? I see a lot of them but I have no clue what aspect they refer to.