posted August 01, 2019 10:57 AM            

i have a **** ton of them on my planets and angles

nymphe, narcissus, magnitka,diana, discovery,qumran, ute, sophia (ascendant)

bellona, babylon, kaiser, nada (north node)

lameia, bellerophon, juno, talent, neith, asclepius (saturn)

drastaeia, erato, tristan,heimdall, inca (neptune)

tyche, nessus, sisyphus kaali, rudra, drago, messalina, ararat, nyx, ra-shalom, fay (sun)

karma,eris,vesta,amor, prosperin, triglav(moon most of these are descendant too, all of them im pretty sure)

icarus, lust, mahalingam, spark, hemera, nephthys, balder, mesopotamia(uranus)

anubis, skepticus, horus,king, radiocommunicata, nethus, midas, sampo,fama, morgan,athene, eurynome, ramses, echnaton, roy(midheaven)

asmodeus, hoder, tantalus, okyrhoe, adonis, sunanda, nike, prosperpina(h27),aeternitas (pluto)

lie, medusa,excalibur, memoria,diana,zenobia, compassion, qumran, ute,sophia, seth(venus)

satie, guinevere,semiramis, industria, kuber, klondike, aladdin, plato,tutenchamun (mercury)

osiris, venusia(ic)

shankar, rostovdon, protogeneia, amenemhet (mars)

odin, europa, holliman(jupiter)

banks, bonus, ricco, amenhotep(part of fortune)

moira, dodona,mycerinos, solidarity, ywain,askalaphus (chiron)

hebe, lysistrata, klotho, discovery (south node)

also have these fixed stars:
sun conjunct - regulus

ascendant conjunct - seginus, mufrid, merga

venus conjunct - merga

mars conjunct - nunki, ascella

midheaven conjunct - castor, pollux,

mercury conjunct - dubhe

north node conjunct - acamar, kurdah, baten kaitos

part of fortune conjunct prima hyadum

this is my chart (took this from another thread that's why lilith and priapus are on it) for a visual since there's too many asteroids to actually put in

i'm **** at reading asteroids so i'm curious what someone else makes of it

posted August 01, 2019 09:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
a bait.....I see HAHAHHA!

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nah it's not bait, i'm legit curious because i can't imagine them all being significant, there's way too many and i imagine most people probably have them conjunct important ****

why would it be bait? lol

posted August 01, 2019 09:47 PM            

Someone will come up here with fire lit under their ass to prove they are.

posted August 01, 2019 09:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
First you asked if they are significant.

Someone will come up here with fire lit under their ass to prove they are.

Then they will see the actual query, and they will have to direct that fire towards it so they can prove it to you, in a detailed manner perhaps. Way to go, Dumuzi .

---

i didnt think it through at all tbh

edit: i can see what you mean though i guess

it just seems like they cant all possibly have weight

posted August 02, 2019 11:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lerena:
Some are significant and others aren't. Look for themes with asteroids and see which themes keep repeating themselves. An asteroid individually isn't necessarily a big deal. You have to figure out what your asteroids strongly emphasize through themes. There are lists of asteroids grouped by theme and topics if you search for them on this forum.

I haven't seen discussions for some of the asteroids you mentioned. Everyone has asteroids that don't mean anything aspecting a placement in their chart. It's impossible for there to be information on all of them so there's only a select amount that get a focus. Like, for example, Karma (3811).

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yeah i've noticed the groups, i'm asking because i find some of the themes that are repeating a little... unsettling given some certain occult experiences i've had over the years

karma is on my moon/descendant

edit: maybe i really am ****** should know for sure in a couple of years supposedly

sisyphus is one that bothers me in particular, because of this **** regarding cycles that's been following me around for a while now

posted August 05, 2019 01:08 PM            

If a person walks into asteroids with the glass half empty that may be all they discover. Very little. An open mind will see further and wider within the view given. Imo it's the reader of the chart that finds the meaning. When it is our personal charts and synastry charts, so much easier to see - unless the individual carries a strong empathic quality. Also you have to consider we in the west aren't the only ones with charts, the harmonics are important and are not originally western/tropical. So much also is seen within these harmonic charts. As well the heliocentric and I could keep going. So there's a vast array of ways to examine these asteroid qualities within people, relationships or just about anything!

Much has been learned by asteroids (albeit mostly older ones of mythological nature) but everything has to start somewhere. It's like jumping into a cold swimming pool but eventually the shock wears off, you can soon align with the water.

I have found so many asteroids in a storyboard concept (think of us a novellas. Like each period is a chapter within us). My answer is yes but it takes work to see some asteroids for the meanings that truly work. How the blending of 'all' the energies fit.
Obviously we aren't famous beings of high stature like some of the gods/goddesses etc but we embody personality traits (energy) of such beings.. professional psychology types might even use these, we know Freud+Young were very much of examination of types, asteroids are named in ways that may help these psychologists to understand their cases. (Just known a few).

posted August 05, 2019 03:27 PM            

Regarding the depth-psychoanalyst Carl Jung, he had gone through some tough periods in his life.
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Book_(Jung)

One way to view the clumps and clusters is as though they are a collective (especially conjunct planets, points), as though the muses were creating a 'persona'.
- http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/persona
{ack! hate all those pop-ups, sorry}
(Mentions Jung)
{Thanks again, MoonMystic }

Another way to 'explore' the asteroids is to search the internet, read about 'the word' and different things associated with it.

EXAMPLE-- Triglav .. (near your Moon/Desc)
It's a 'place'-- A mountain in the Swiss Alps.
Read the stories, history behind it.
Do any of the words or images resonate inside you, to any part of your life?
(metaphoric or literal?)

- http://www.summitpost.org/triglav/150787

You even have VESTA and Amor there too-- Through your posts, it's sooo evident how devoted your inner-spirit can be. You are willing to sacrifice for a greater goal in your partnerships.

(music) Ain't No Mountain High Enough (Marvin Gaye, lyrics) [2:30] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVXq31F5r9k

Lots more examples.
I love some of the combinations shown conjunct these planets for you. Not knowing too much about you, some of the things you've shared at LL 'fit' the chart.

posted August 05, 2019 06:47 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MoonMystic:
(Been over tired+stressed lately, incase I seem winded, very tired here)

If a person walks into asteroids with the glass half empty that may be all they discover. Very little. An open mind will see further and wider within the view given. Imo it's the reader of the chart that finds the meaning. When it is our personal charts and synastry charts, so much easier to see - unless the individual carries a strong empathic quality. Also you have to consider we in the west aren't the only ones with charts, the harmonics are important and are not originally western/tropical. So much also is seen within these harmonic charts. As well the heliocentric and I could keep going. So there's a vast array of ways to examine these asteroid qualities within people, relationships or just about anything!

Much has been learned by asteroids (albeit mostly older ones of mythological nature) but everything has to start somewhere. It's like jumping into a cold swimming pool but eventually the shock wears off, you can soon align with the water.

I have found so many asteroids in a storyboard concept (think of us a novellas. Like each period is a chapter within us). My answer is yes but it takes work to see some asteroids for the meanings that truly work. How the blending of 'all' the energies fit.
Obviously we aren't famous beings of high stature like some of the gods/goddesses etc but we embody personality traits (energy) of such beings.. professional psychology types might even use these, we know Freud+Young were very much of examination of types, asteroids are named in ways that may help these psychologists to understand their cases. (Just known a few).

If asteroids don't work for a person, fine. If they are debating them, are they on the fence or are they trying to justify that they see them as useless? If so why take away the thunder those looking to them as tools?
Think way back when Venus, Mars and Jupiter were discovered. Most people might have said "Oh what little effect those stars have upon us".
Despite how insignificant they might seem (asteroids) their nature may be more a passive one, transits and synastry might spark them into their full power?

---

fair points, thanks for the answer

@mirage29

thanks, it just seems like a lot

it was my sun and midheaven in particular i found odd, my descendant and moon are just depressing lol

i appreciate it

posted August 06, 2019 10:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
fair points, thanks for the answer

@mirage29

thanks, it just seems like a lot

it was my sun and midheaven in particular i found odd, my descendant and moon are just depressing lol

i appreciate it

hope you're doing good, are you?

---

(For both Mirage and Dumuzi)

Mirage, TY.

posted August 06, 2019 11:59 PM            

well i figure if i know **** all then i better ask someone else lol and information on asteroids is harder to come by so i figure people who pay attention would know best

i appreciate the feedback, gives me **** to think about and consider

i have mixed feelings on the subject of karma myself, but i practice the occult and have for a long time now about 7 years (not by choice just life happened and dragged me into it) so i'm open to symbolism at the very least even if i don't believe the concept is 100%

posted August 07, 2019 01:12 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MoonMystic:

Dumuzi, I kind of figured as much by your username. If you wanna share I'm intrigued. If not I understand.
In my experience with asteroids, it took me awhile to accept them. Honestly I developed a love/hate thing for all astrology but mostly because I've been working on my shadow side, so frustrating to do under the energies we have been in (speaking tropical I use sidereal mostly, but am a complete novice. I throw the asteroids in for indepth study).
Hope you're doing well in these transits. (Been kinda a rough one for me.)

---

my transits have been intense with pluto and saturn in retrograde, a lot has happened, but i figure it'll all work out and be what it needs to be

i actually recently did a bunch of shadow **** a few months back, it ended up coming up, lot of heavy meditation and meeting that part of me and learning from it was an intriguing experience to say the least

a little disconcerting given experiences i've had through other occultists that's been weird (long story there, but let's just say i have a lot of past life **** following me around that i'm stuck with)

i'd recommend reading the middle pillar by israel regardie if you want some perspective the pdf for it is available free if you look around

i did it through focusing and meditation and reworking **** i've practiced over the years, but i still found the outside perspective helpful so you might too

yeah the username is related to it, actually my first introduction to any kind of energy on that level was through dionysus (long story there, wasn't a choice i made) which is just a mask that ties back to the same place as other forms of the same energy (hence the name) along with osiris and tammuz etc and so on

whatever you want to know you're free to ask i'm open to sharing

my sidereal and my draconic chart are almost exactly the same and i actually prefer to use those and vedic, but because all systems essentially work i'm fine with using whatever people around me prefer

it's like using different tarot decks or runes or iching or scrying etc for divination no matter what if you ask the same question you'll get the same answer whichever you use so it ultimately makes no difference outside of preference

my asteroids are disconcerting because of the themes and the way they line up with some of my occult experiences on one hand i've accepted the idea of fate and where that will supposedly take me and on the other seeing things slowly fall into place and seeing how stuck i seem to be in a cycle (like i said that sisyphus **** ...) is interesting i guess i mean i'm pretty ****** lol but may as well enjoy the ride

i was pretty much forced into this like i said, i never had a choice this all just came at me and was building since i was a kid

even while my mother was pregnant with me she had a lot of weird experiences and it's funny i was raised heavy catholic but i've found out recently (while pluto's been on my ic) that there's a lot of heavy occult **** on both sides of my family and practices that date back really ******* far like really old traditional **** that's been passed down so my family had this history to begin with

my mother had a lot of experiences herself, but her pregnancy with me stands out to her (funny enough my sun is on her midheaven i tell her all the time her only job was to have me )

what led you to doing shadow work?

posted August 07, 2019 02:58 AM            

Also you wrote:
"yeah the username is related to it, actually my first introduction to any kind of energy on that level was through dionysus (long story there, wasn't a choice i made) which is just a mask that ties back to the same place as other forms of the same energy (hence the name) along with osiris and tammuz etc and so on"

posted August 07, 2019 03:29 AM            

i'm wondering how my solar return will play out, birthday's on the 23rd so i'll see it all play out soon enough

yeah i guess that's one way of putting it, there's a lot of content there in those past lives, i only remember one of them particularly well the others it's bits and pieces but i've met people who share the memories so that's been intense

imagine being bitched at for things that have happened thousands of years ago lol but a lot of **** doesn't just go away is how that works especially not around ******* occultists

if they remember they'll still ****** about it because they know the whole soul being eternal body being a shell thing you know?

i started meditating probably 11 years ago or so, but i'd say i only had any worthwhile experiences after a witch i was with taught me third eye meditation 8 years ago and i started using her method (i could teach you if you want, it's easier said than done) there's a long story about her (i autowrote about meeting her years before i actually did on my 22nd birthday after a pcp blackout long story, but so far a lot of what i wrote ended up coming true i wrote stuff about my death so i gotta wait and see ) she's also the reason i remember any past lives at all and why i ended up as deep into the occult as i have (well sort of it was headed that way regardless) she did a ritual against my will though that opened up a lot

the one she opened up was in rome, based on the military and politics content a friend of mine placed it between 380-420 ad (the entire life was a bit under 30 years) at the time of me finding that out i hadn't been into history at all, the occult rituals and **** involved in that all turned out to be legit too along with the historical **** being accurate

it was interesting because i had been in rome years before that ritual and kept getting deja vu, i actually got drunk and said i felt like i had been there before and i knew my way around pretty well (for me that's unusual i get lost everywhere, i'll insist i know where i'm going for a while before i give up but for me to actually just know and in a strange place it was weird) i wrote it off though because i was pretty insistent on no accepting **** like that

the content of that life is pretty horrific lots of war and political ******** and a lot illegal rituals that included ritualistic torture and so on and so forth but literally all the lives have been like that (same could be said for the occultists i've met though who share the memories, different sides of it but always **** like that)

wouldn't surprise me if that was the case for you given **** i know about the occult now

i can relate to lifelong peculiar things

i typically a hermetic deck and i have a golden dawn deck as well which is similar, rider waite style decks are easier for beginners though because there's so much information available for those

i'm not a fan of i-ching i hate sorting through ******* chinese to divine but it works

disconcerting because of a lot of complicated reasons and cycles and such

i've looked at asteroids outside of here, i'm currently only curious about most of the ones i listed here others i just listed because i found them on my planets

she finds it funny, we both have aries moons

she had a lot of experiences as a kid but her most profound **** was her pregnancy with me like i said

she had a miscarriage less than a year before me, and right around when she found out she was having me my father's mother died

throughout her pregnancy she dreamt about my grandmother coming to her and telling her that everything was going to be ok (i was high risk she had to leave her job and **** early on) at the same time a few of my aunts on my father's side (4 of them actually i think, he's one of 7) were all pregnant as well none of them dreamt about my grandmother and 3 of them had miscarriages and the other had a kid who died shortly after birth so i was the only surviving child that year

almost immediately after i was born my mother almost died from complications from having me and after all that she didn't dream about my grandmother anymore (i have twin cousins who are a year younger than me who were able to point her out pictures when their mother was showing them family photos because they said they seen her around)

outside of that she's had dreams and such but she never really dug deep, and not to the same extent as far as i know

my younger brother has some level of sensitivity but not much, and same with 3 of my cousins from what i know they haven't experienced things as heavy as the **** i have, but i'm also barely part of my extended family

i haven't seen most of them in about 20 years

i know a few of them practice but to my knowledge it's surface level

you could always make an offering to her and see what comes up if you think that

i had a book on dealing with the dead on my old phone i should see if i can find it if you have discord i can send that to you if i do

i'm only just now finding out about the **** for the most part it was really kept in the dark and hidden in catholicism most of my life that's what pluto seems to have done with the retrograde

my shadow work was a matter of necessity, it eating away at me and such, meeting your shadow is interesting to say the least or at least mine was

it was disconcerting because i've had a few "christian occultists" call me out on **** and when meeting my shadow it made it hard to deny that side of me that they were talking about

they pick up on some interesting things, but i find their views a bit twisted

i'd start with third eye meditation and see where that goes

i don't know how comfortable you are with **** like pentagrams and whatnot because there's this balancing ritual the witch taught me that you're supposed to do beforehand (i skipped it personally, i found it unnecessary and i was fine) but i've found some people aren't 100% cool with that but you can alter that to anything that makes you feel at one with the elements and balanced, safe etc

essentially it all comes down to the third eye bit anyway which is easier said than done it takes practice

you close your eyes and you "look up" at the space between them, over time you'll start to feel pressure you focus on it, imagine it opening up and you'll know when you get it right because it's an unmistakable sensation

binaural beats help some people, i find them annoying for the most part but if you're not sure where to focus they'll definitely show you that and can push it open

posted August 07, 2019 03:39 AM            

it's my tropical chart if you want me to post my sidereal i will though

my sun shifts to leo, mercury to cancer, venus/ascendant in virgo, pisces moon, sag mars etc

it was dionysus for me i learned about the other masks and things after years of studying and digging deeper, but for the longest it was just dionysus related

i had what that witch told me was a calling dream and then what she said were visitation experiences after loaded in heavy symbolism

every so often when i have a dream or meditation experience that's significant it'll usually be dionysus related

i also have weird **** with deer, ever since a meditation experience (and there was a deer in that initial calling dream it led me to a temple in the middle woods covered in vines with what looked like a party frozen in time going on inside)

what was your anubis dream like (curious i have anubis and horus both on my midheaven one on either side like castor and pollux are)?

posted August 07, 2019 09:10 AM            

it's cool, long responses take a minute and people have lives lol you can quit wherever you want i don't mind, i do the same thing sometimes when i talk to someone and see their chart i sort out the synastry to get a sense of things

i did, mostly because i never bothered with them before and i was curious http://imgur.com/a/FDwCCuW(this is my tropical solar return and my natal sidereal and natal draco in that order if you scroll down) because of readings i had been getting with cards and whatnot (also had a lot of people tell me i've essentially got a year to get my **** together, but they think everyone does to be fair, lot of occultists think the next few years will be intense)

i've never thought to meditate to reunite tbh, i wonder how well that would work, i've met them all by chance

well i knew what i did in those cases lol it came after i had memories at least, and my love of intoxicants seems to go way back for one thing

i can't say i minded the amnesia all things considered

it was an intense relationship, but it was complicated she was engaged when i met her for one thing, had 2 kids too definitely wasn't meant to last and only started because of all the old **** between us resurfacing (on my end anyway) she wasnt the best teacher unfortunately, i was left with a lot to sort through on my own

it already being active will probably make it easier to intentionally open, for me it's always pressure sensations rather than color

i've had a fairly traumatic life too, lots of abuse (all kinds) and **** like that

it was accidental, the pcp, laced weed i had no idea beforehand(i wouldve done it anyway if i did, but it was a surprise) it was actually music that triggered the high that led to everything happening

my ex fiancee and i were smoking together and she had music on, a playlist she made and this one version of the song lazy eye by the silversun pick ups came on and at first things were fine and then around the end i started feeling this weird sensation in my head (found out later that there was a low buzz at that particular part of the song that continued through the end and that's what was getting to me) and i told her to turn it off because it was making me feel weird

she told me she couldn't because she couldn't move (pcp can do some weird **** ) and it started to trigger a lot of deja vu and i had this clockwork orange style meltdown

the song finished an i told her i wanted to jump in the pool to maybe make myself feel better because i was still anxious and out of touch with reality and getting all kinds of deja vu and weird feelings in my head so we went inside and she changed into a bathing suit, but then she got scared of the idea of me going in the pool so i told her i'd have a cigarette first

i went out into the yard to have one and when i came back she was back in the dress she had been wearing before she changed (keep in mind now i was experiencing deja vu and being out of touch with reality and still very very high) which kind of freaked me out because as far as i had known she was wearing something else when i left

she got weird told me she was scared of me going in the pool again and insisting that i stay inside (what's funny is the pool actually probably would've helped) and telling me "it's ok" a lot, and i told her stop saying it so much because it made it worse

somewhere in the middle of me having a meltdown about the dress and her telling me things were ok i blacked out (i don't know if you've ever heard of void meditation but it was exactly like that) when i came out of it i was in the middle of having sex with her with no idea of how that even started, went with it because i was already there and then afterwards i was kind of really ****** up over the fact that i had blacked out completely while my body went from meltdown to sex on its own

i asked her what happened in between and told her i didn't remember anything and she said she didn't know so that bothered me and i thought i'd write to feel like time was passing

that's when i started autowriting and i autowrote about the witch and the past life ritual and things people i would meet were going to tell me etc and so on

it was definitely an experience lol i honestly used pcp laced weed daily for months and it was only that particular high that was that level bad (also not the worst high ever, that's a different long story though) at the time though when i saw what i wrote i just thought "well this is insane" and then ripped it up (wish i didn't because i know there was probably **** on there that i've forgotten and can't get back, a lot of stuck out and i've remembered because it was such a crazy experience but it bothers the **** out of me that i know there's no way i know all of it) and hid the pieces because i got paranoid about someone else reading it

i had other autowriting experiences with pcp but it was little things that happened the same day or within a couple of days but nothing major or on that level, threw all those away too

i wrote it all off as nonsense until i ended up meeting that witch and she started telling me the things i wrote

i never held the past life ritual she did without my consent against her because i had written that she would do it and it seemed pointless to be angry over fate (she had been practicing for 10 years at the time and was legitimately scared of the results and how strong they were, she tried to take it back but couldn't)

i've found war fascinating since i was a kid, i actually enjoy reading military books and **** when i'm bored, it's not something that bothers me

military and political dealings in that life (most of them, nearly all that i can remember and i've been told even more than that) , and heavy occult **** (the occult stuff is always there) that was tied to both politics and military

given your experiences it wouldn't surprise me if you did have a tie to rome,i've run into quite a few people who have shared that life time while practicing it was a heavy one for a lot of people

yeah it was eating away at me, because i really pushed it down and ignored it for a very long time, it's better integrated now

yeah once you start going down that way you can't go back it's already done, a good deal of catholicism has hidden occult leanings in it anyway

i'm not big on the candle flame thing, but i have a lot of past life memories of being forced to stare into them funny enough i actually recently had been writing one

i have my father's leo mercury

i hadn't really, though with my mother's it was a passing thought

the amount of deaths surrounding my birth is pretty odd though along with my mother's intense dreams and her own near death experience as a result of having me

that is pretty interesting, oddly common for weird occurrences like that to precede a birth in families with occult ties apparently, i've found that out over the years, it's significant

an offering to whichever name or mask you choose to make one too, it's all ultimately the same so whichever you feel more strongly connected to

in my case it was just that i was introduced to all this through dionysus and found out the concept of masks and such later on as i got further in

posted August 07, 2019 09:33 AM            

masks is just the term for the different names one energy can take like dionysus, dumuzi, osiris, tammuz each one is slightly different but when you break it all down it's the same energy so each individual god is considered a mask of that form of energy

they're all valid though, encountering one isn't cheapened it's more just about you what you end up drawing to a certain extent

for me if i have a dream (me sleeping is usually like lucid void meditation) it's typically extremely vivid and i can remember details of it for years after having it because they're usually memorable and significant

i've found in a lot of cases feelings don't die with your body after a life, they definitely can linger and come up again which can be awkward or good it all depends

my ex fiancee and i have shared a lot in our lives, there's a long history of a lot of promises and so on (that we actually renewed in this life unknowingly, always just keep making the same promises, and sealing them in blood and such) there that have been inescapable and a lot of the same feelings always resurface

same with the witch and a couple other people i've met

so it's entirely possible, that's how people have been ****** at me for past life stuff too

i met this one chick who is still uptight and angry about multiple lives but whatever, people don't change as much as they like to think they do from one life to another

i enjoy anything and everything that gets me intoxicated (and apparently that's been something i've been heavy into in every life) my and drugs and alcohol have a very long history together lol i have no memories of that era, but that doesn't mean much i've been told i lived more lives than i can currently recall

there's a good deal of stuff having to do with deer, among other things i've seen in dreams and during meditation, what's been interesting is since then i've had deer just walk up to me and i have a few i'm cool with now that will follow me around when they see me (i'm from nyc but i moved to the middle of nowhere on/off for the past 10 years)

your anubis is on my osiris/ic

that definitely sounds like a profound experience and a legit one, especially the stuff you learned from it too

yeah it's like cycles in an ocean basically

i forgot this was actually interesting when meeting my shadow the first time (and i'm still trying to figure out what it means entirely)

there was a point where i was outside of my body and experiencing being my shadow and speaking in tongues,and what i assumed was gibberish but some of the words stuck out and when i came out of it i looked them up and they ended up being hindu

now i don't ******* know hindu outside of some vedic astrology terms and this wasn't them

but yeah that shadow self not all of the **** i thought was babbling really was

there was also another experience of being trapped and watching a woman who had an energy that felt like another person (i've had shared dreams in the past with people, and this was similar) put together parts of a body while she said things i couldn't really understand over them and in front of me there was a bowl of dirt and spices and a snake

not sure what that means either but it's how the shadow work concluded for me

but yeah i experienced actually being my shadow in that trance state, and it was very much exactly what i had been called out on by some christian occultists, which sort of annoyed me

on some level i knew it was there in that manner, but because of the nature of the past life memories it's easy to brush off because of trance like states and things that had been induced etc (the memories are very detailed and intricate and there's a lot of heavy **** in them) it's easy to have been like "that wasn't quite me being myself" but in a sense it definitely was

posted August 07, 2019 04:05 PM            

no problem

actually it's weird what got me to read them in the first place was actually me having a dream about being in this used book store and seeing them on a shelf in a box and buying them in the dream

the next day i was in that store (hadn't been in months and they weren't there previously) and i saw a deck in the same spot packaged the same and took that as a sign i should give it a shot

my readings have always worked out one way or another so i wouldn't say there was one in particular that did it

i should give that a go at some point see if i meet anyone that way, could be interesting

i've been addicted to heroin at one point, it wasn't related to spiritual **** i just like opiates and also chronic pain, that was an experience to say the least

intoxication has been a common thing, but to be fair even before i had any of those experiences i used drugs and alcohol, i started drinking at 13 pills at 15 and younger than that medicine cabinet diving cough syrup and **** like asthma meds (they're an upper) etc so that's just kind of me, and apparently that's just always me lol which is why i've been yelled at over things i've done while i was drunk and high in other lives on multiple occasions by multiple people

it's surreal to the least, but then there's that comfort of knowing you're yourself still on some level

honestly when i first started to remember after the ritual i wished i hadn't and before that i had told the witch that i didn't want to remember at all and not to dig

i was comfortable without that

my ex fiancee and i shared every life i can think of together, typically our relationship is the same regardless how other ways it's defined (break ups coming back together being family etc and so on) and the witch i mentioned has been in all the ones i can think of so far as well along with other people

the witch ex was definitely a catalyst for a lot, up until that point i was able to write off experiences as coincidences and not give them weight after meeting her and everything that happened because of her i no longer had that luxury and acknowledging something deeper became necesssity

it became more crazy to deny the occult than to believe in it

yeah the vibrations in that song definitely hit me weird coupled with the pcp and made for an intense experience, it was just blackness like the void

i remember telling my ex fiancee to stop repeating herself and saying "it's ok" over and over again and then it's nothing, black just nothing, and then like waking up out of a dream or trance state except my body had just been operating without in it (that's what it felt like anyway)

i enjoy void meditation it's like getting to disappear for a while, but normally being in that state means you can't move your body

pcp got rid of that issue and yeah... i'm glad was with her and not someone else because i had no awareness at all and to have been having sex and it very much seeming like i initiated it was very confusing to say the least

me and the witch ended up breaking up because of a lot of **** , and my ex fiancee and i broke up this past month due to a lot of issues as well that were separate from the occult (i actually got her into it with me, because even though she had past life memories and **** she was clinging heavy to atheism for a while and over the course of the past year i changed her views) and have a lot to do with her erratic behavior and mental issues and such it's complicated

the fear the witch had was related to what she did, apparently it had consequences that i didn't understand and we weren't together long enough for me to find out what those were for her

i never autowrote with her, i autowrote about her before i met her and i never did it for or in front of her

i haven't been in touch with her since a weird phone call where she was talking about suicide and telling me she loved me and would be in touch one day "when **** goes down" and then valentine's day a couple days later i got bunch of missed calls from her (about 20) and then one that was just static when i picked up and that was it

i couldn't get in touch with her family to check on her because she had 2 kids and a fiancee and when things started between us she was engaged so it was all a secret

yeah they use it and their followers are typically kept down, but in my family the old practices were passed down side by side yet for some reason i was raised heavy catholic

yeah him and i both have leo mercury, he's also a leo sun those are the only exact placements i share with either of them similar degrees i think too (for sure with my mother's aries moon we're the same nakshatra in vedic, revati)

my mother's midheaven is on regulus (from leo) where my sun is (i'm the only virgo sun in my family to my knowledge, even extended family though my father has a virgo mars) my mother is a libra sun and i have libra in my chart

my younger brother and i both have cap, but for him it's his mercury