posted September 25, 2001 11:27 AM         

I agree with YIVY And, bless you for having the courage, and Love, enough to share what causes you so much pain I wish I could hug you ...sigh

Jools/Paul~ I think it is probably critical to *remember* those events that would prevent us from living fully happy. I believe the closer you can come to the truth, the more you will free (or free will?) yourself from this sad pain

The truth can hurt really bad sometimes, but when that pain subsides what is left in it's path is emotional freedom, and a heart full of sunshine, instead of fear, sadness or remorse

Remember sweetness, as they say, "there is nothing to fear but fear itself." And, fear resides in the *unknown* ...

~Princess

posted September 28, 2001 01:01 PM           

Paul has helped me so much and I want to help him, so anything you guys can tell me will support us both...

Lunacrab: bless you darling for sharing your innermost. I know it is a precious gift you give us and I thank you from my heart and soul...

posted September 28, 2001 03:07 PM         

Something told me to share two book titles with you... hoping you and Paul might read them, if you haven't already. If you can't find them, I'll send you mine.

One is called, CHILDREN'S PAST LIVES by Carol Bowman ... The other is MANY LIVES, MANY MASTERS by Brian L. Weiss - It has a companion book as well called PAST LIVES, PRESENT DREAMS ... I have them all so, let me know if I need to go the post office

~Princess

------------------
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

posted September 30, 2001 11:57 AM           

I don't know what to do when it gets like this... I despair... I will see if I can get those books, but as we're supposed to be going on holiday this week (if we're still speaking!!!) I won't get time to search in town... if I can't get them, I will gladly ask for a loan of yours... bless your heart

Chandra I do so hope you're right. This morning, I couldn't see a way forward for us... Paul seems not to want to get any help at all but he keeps contradicting himself and saying he does, but can't trust anyone... oh, please send us your thoughts and prayers...

You know, at times like today and last night, when Paul gets in touch with the utter rage and blind hatred, it is so frightening, but more so for him, I believe. He tries so hard to keep a lid on it... and having no memory makes it so hard...

I really do need you guys right now...

posted October 01, 2001 12:28 AM         

Dear Dear Jools...you and Paul have all the WHITE LIGHT I can send

GOD/DESS BLESS YOU BOTH!!!!!

Oh, I KNOW about the money thingy...
seems just when I think I am learning how to save WHAM I overwhelmed with the 'urge' to go buy something...usually something dumb or very un-needed. Although I am learning to not waste that 'urge' and go to the grocery store and stock up...Anyone need any creamed corn or cut snap bean, just yell

posted October 01, 2001 12:58 AM         

Been there done that with the spending binge it's a form of self harm like cutting yourself etc. and a sign of deep hurt.

The effects of childhood sexual abuse on society is incalcuable and MUST be addressed.

10% of abused children abuse as adults, 90% of adult abusers were abused as children.

I mainly assist people sexually abused by medical practitions and young adults that were abused in fostercare.

posted October 01, 2001 08:30 AM           

Chandra: you are so right about the abuser being someone close whom he ought to have been able to trust. God love him, his rage is so intense it makes me ache inside for his pain. But I know for sure (because of his symptoms) that it definitely was someone close to him... GRRRR

Yivy: Thank you darling for your support. The White Light is invaluable and is definitely surrounding us and the house. You are one powerful lady!!!

ElizaW: I am deeply touched by your words. I couldn't agree more with you that abuse must be stopped, and that it affects so many more people than we know about. My God, it's almost every other person I speak to these days, they've suffered some form of it...

I wish we lived nearer... but I know there will be an somewhere who can help my dear Paul. I keep asking for someone to come into our lives, but I guess he has to be ready first, eh?

Thank you again, for your words and kindness... and if anyone wishes to speak in confidence they can mail me and I swear with all my heart it will be in utter privacy...

Bless you all - and thank you

Jools xxx

posted October 01, 2001 08:27 PM         

I do hope you are able to get the books! I wish I had thought sooner to send them to you

~Princess

------------------
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

posted October 02, 2001 02:25 AM         

Keep them in a safe place where, when things get rough, you can hold them.

posted October 02, 2001 09:03 AM           

It lurks, unseen, in the pit of my stomach, deep in the bowels of my body and although I can’t see it, I can feel it. I almost know what it looks like, though it has many faces and wears many masks. Sneering and leering like a slimy reptile, it broods…

It twists and writhes, causing a spasm of pain deep in my base chakra region, because one of it’s control mechanisms is Pain. Its favourite region in the human soul, is the base chakra. My back throbs like a gnawing toothache and in my colon/intestinal area, it feels like broken glass and lumps of sharp rocks… altogether a draining, tiring, weighing down feeling of despair.

The Sexual Abuse Monster is Reptilian in origin… cold, calculating, emotionless, self-seeking, insidious, controlling, manipulative and overpowering. It is more than a force or an energy – it is an actual entity. The Reptilians, for use in their Agenda, create this entity. It is seeded into the innocent consciousness of little ones, so that they are ‘groomed’ and made ready for perpetuating its evil deeds, once grown.

Its purpose is to overcome and to generate fear and isolation and, eventually, to dominate and control all.

It preys upon the innocent for they are easy victims. Innocence and naiveté are what it seeks out and feeds upon, and as it worms its way into pristine souls, it thrives upon the negative emotions it generates within its victims.

Isolation is one of its most useful prison keys. It will isolate its victim and plant the thoughts and feelings of complete aloneness, and whispers darkly that there is no point in telling anyone because they won’t be believed. It charms, like an oily slick of cold terror, mocking and taunting, teasing its victim into submission and helplessness… imitating goodness, a behaviour pattern that it has learned from aeons of observing the Human Race, and alternating rapidly with abject fear.

It can even slither away to attend to other victims, leaving you temporarily under the illusion that you are safe and can relax, but it leaves its stench to sting your nostrils and remind you that it will be back. Once it has entered your life its shadow haunts you and taunts you, sitting on your shoulder reminding you that Peace will always elude you…

There is only one Force and Entity more powerful and potent than the Reptilian Sexual Abuse Monster. Its adversary is called Love. The entity cannot survive Love because it has no information on the force of Love and how it works.

It is an exhausting and draining fight, Love over Reptilian, but it can be won. Only the pure in Heart will vanquish, because anyone who can be controlled or manipulated or tempted by anything that is not Love, will be defeated. It takes a mighty soul and a strong and willing heart to overcome this monster, but it can be overcome.

The monster can only survive in cold, wet darkness; it cannot survive warmth and light.

It is strong. It will try many times to slither in via another route, but if all routes inward are covered with Love and Light, this thing cannot enter.

It needs seeing and recognising for what it is. It does not need compassion and understanding, because these things are what it relies on for its existence and if compassion and understanding are given to its energy, it can continue to go about its business undetected. It must be seen as a totally separate entity from the human being/soul. It is NOT a part of us. It is a separate entity capable of shape shifting and changing form and integrating and imitating, and it knows exactly what it is doing and why.

It is the human soul and personality that needs the Love, for this monster will cease to exist in a warm and light environment, created by Love. If the incubator is Love, the Reptilian seed cannot be propagated. If the incubator (human/soul/vehicle) is cold, fearful and in darkness, the seeds become prolific.

The Reptilian is able to create hybrids, via genetic engineering and experimentation, that are half-human and half-reptile. This programme has been ongoing for thousands of years and it reaching its zenith. Notice how Genetic Modification and experimentation is being seeded into the consciousness of humankind right now. ‘They’ want us to become a race of genetically modified cell structures, because it will be easier for them to inter breed. The race is on for us to become Light Bodies and Light Beings. Cloning is Reptilian in origin. First genetic structure is engineered, and then cloning can begin in earnest, so that the Reptilian race can take over the planet.

I cannot stress enough that Love is ALL. Love is the only thing that will overcome this Agenda. Absence of fear and guilt, which are both Reptilian generated ‘emotions’ are what will cancel out this darkness.

Our only responsibility is to fill our hearts, minds and lives with Love. Pure, unadulterated, unconditional Love.

Love Is All…

posted October 03, 2001 12:47 AM         

I'm going to send an extra dose of love and light for you and Paul, Jools.

My prayers are for all of you tonight.

posted October 03, 2001 10:44 PM         

You can go back in time (in your mind...) and be with the child you were when the terrible things are happening. For this you have to be strong and brave. You will again experience the terror and pain this child is feeling. Now, you then have to connect with this child through the path of LIGHT.

You then surround this child with the shield of LOVE. You have to be someone to LOVE this child...no matter what. It won't erase the event, but what it will do is completely change who you are now.

The ability to LOVE itself that the child has lost will be returned to this child via you in the NOW. It is a bit tricky how this works, but IT WORKS. Nothing in your past will alter..but the NOW/FUTURE will.

I am not sure about the time factors and how they work...but the LOVE you give the child will suddenly boomarang to the adult you are NOW. It will be like accessing a buried program in your emotional make-up. It will activate it.

If it is done right..and you can do it again and again till it works...
you will feel a sudden (and painful) release...then a warm flow of LOVE throughout your being. The brave part is are you ready for the pain.

The pain is temporary...but it is one you can understand being an adult NOW instead of a child THEN.
The pain is likened unto the release of a painful leg cramp. Or the sudden blood flow into an unused muscle. IT WILL HURT!!

But then the flow of LOVE will be like nothing you have ever experienced. It will completely overwhelm you at first. It might even freeze you for a while, so don't plan on this when you need to be somewhere soon. Do it when you can be home for at least a day. The PAIN/RELEASE should happend quite soon after you come back to the present. But it might take a while, so be prepared.

When you go back to the child, completley LOVE that child...let this child know that no matter what the adult it became LOVES it. Do it in whatever way you can visualize that is comfortable for you...hugs, cry with it...bath it...it is your image.

It would be best to go to the very first encounter...but anyone will do. This child is you, but a child that has forgotten it is worthy of SELF-LOVE....you have to re-mind it.

Once you have found your child...surrounded it with LOVE...then seal this with the POWER
of LIGHT...the LIGHT will pierce the time differences.

Another side effect is that you will find the child within can truly be a child...so you might find sudden urges to play. Let it happen. You have healed both you THEN and you NOW. With a bridge of LIGHT and through the POWER of LOVE.

You have in effect...destroyed the power of the monster.