posted August 23, 2014 03:20 PM            

I have been told umpteen times by psychics and astrologers that my life's lessons are to do with learning to love myself. And this is what I need to do. Isn't loving oneself the same as high self- esteem? I would have thought I have a robust self-esteem, but maybe I deceive myself.

How would a person who loves themself behave in a relationship? Because that is where it seems to matter - where it is revealed most. I suspect that such a person would walk away from relationships where they weren't being treated with the regard they deserved.

posted August 26, 2014 04:42 AM            

quote:

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Original by Astro keen: ...I can't actually figure out what it means in practical terms.... I have been told umpteen times by psychics and astrologers that my life's lessons are to do with learning to love myself.

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I think that EVERYONE is here to learn lessons on Love...

LL thread
Why is it harder to love yourself than to love others? by listenstotrees, April 25, 2013, 3:32pm. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/003170.html

posted August 31, 2014 12:33 PM            

Vajra, self-knowledge as an important feature of loving oneself makes very good sense. Seeing oneself in the context of one's history and circumstance would certainly lead to appreciating one's qualities.

I think astrology has been pivotal in increasing self-knowledge. Qualities one barely acknowledged about oneself were highlighted in bold.

posted August 31, 2014 04:41 PM            

The next questions is - How does that manifest in romantic relationships?

I find the view that you should love unconditionally is in conflict with self-love. I often read people writing about the great love in their lives as being unconditional. The thing is, if you love unconditionally or even comes close to it, you are inclined to be forgiving, understanding, adjusting, and stretching your boundaries - which often results in doing a disservice to yourself. The focus is on another, not on yourself.

Unconditional love is something that occurs in familial relationships, and may not be a ideal for romantic relationships at all, precisely because of the reasons above.

posted September 03, 2014 11:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Vajra:
My current understanding is that many problems arise from one's own neediness, in that we often (unconsciously) want our partner to take the role of a loving parent (or child, as it may be) to provide us with a sense of self-worth. ........................................ This does NOT equal letting the other walk all over us though. It just means quitting to act in a childlike (or motherlike) manner towards the partner and establishing oneself as an equal.

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Vajra,

Very well put! You've made excellent suggestions. Putting your responses to the test - 'am I treating my partner as an equal', or conversely, 'am I trying to save him' or 'am I trying to be his mother' would be very helpful. A simple strategy that would resolve many a problem.

posted September 03, 2014 01:46 PM            

What is remarkable is that the universal or divine plan is more in accord with modern psychology than traditional religion. I wonder why loving yourself is so important that many life times could be spent acquiring this skill. Could it be that loving yourself is a precursor to loving the universal soul?

Being secure and independent within yourself could be seen as threatening by many who are less so - particularly by needy partners. It is a state of being where you are more in control of your emotions. You are able to detach yourself, stand back and make tough decisions. Since this in itself is a state spiritually developed people aspire to, could it be that learning loving yourself helps you achieve that state of detachment?

As you said, Vajra, "The habit of calming down before addressing a problem" is part of the process and it also sounds like a key skill that mindful meditation aspires to. "It's a fantastic avenue of possible human growth", as you call it.

So, loving yourself could be important for two or three complimentary reasons: it is a precursor to loving the universal soul. Perhaps you cannot love another unless you know what it is to love yourself. Also, loving yourself helps you to achieve a spiritually advanced state of mind - one that reflects the state of the higher self most closely.

posted September 05, 2014 11:47 AM            

Pluto S,
This sounds very good - "If you truly know yourself then loving youself will follow, self sabotage will disappear, and loving relationships will result."

As to "a prenatal solar eclipse in Virgo" . Even if I knew what it meant .

posted October 07, 2014 09:27 PM              

Reminds me of a few favorite quotes as well, so maybe I have been on the right track.

"Only that nature which is capable of loving humanity as a whole is capable of loving individuals wisely."

and two of my favorite Cheiro quotes:

"Know thyself," the motto of the ancients is the simplest but grandest sermon that can ring within our ears. By the knowledge of nature do we honor nature; let us then consider the study that can give such knowledge; for by the knowledge of self may we master self, and by the improvement of self, may we also improve mankind- to the advancement of the race, to the honor of the world, and to the glory of those who, in the march of time, will fill life's broken ranks, and some day take our place."