posted August 27, 2022 11:38 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Snake Lady:
I wanted to continue our talk here in Health and Healing as you suggested.

Yes, autism can definitely cause frustrations with communication. From what I understand, there is often a streak of genius in a certain area and extra difficulties in other areas.
I know that it's not the same as down syndrome at all.
There may also be heightened sensitivities to experiences that don't bother other people.
Maybe you can tell me more about it if you feel up to it.

I was thinking about your apologizing and explaining yourself, though, and I think that's more related to having experienced long-term narcissistic abuse probably for most of your life (mainly childhood, then carried over into adulthood). This is based on what you told me about your past, of course.
Yours is a response that comes from CPTSD, which is a type of PTSD that comes from long-term abuse rather than a sudden, intense moment. With CPTSD, you have emotional flashbacks rather than flashbacks to specific events. Meaning you'll just suddenly feel sad, depressed, scared, guilty, etc. instead of flashing back to a specific event (although this could be included). Also, you'll tend to feel as though everyone is a minefield you have to step around because their reactions affect you so intensely.

In any case, you don't ever have to apologize to me for being direct. It takes a lot of energy to have to include apologies and defenses. I do want to learn more about you, so at this point I take your explanations as informational, but I definitely don't require any apologies for your honest opinions.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
Excellent post😎❤️
I will start a thread in hearth
and home and just copy cut and paste
this post there😎❤️
It will stay open here and others can
post on it too of they desire to do so😎
I am not a moderator of this forum so cannot move or close threads👽
Maybe I can have some moved to hearth and home by another moderator here⁉️
Well anyhow I shall reply here for
the moment a wee bit and then
later on the Hearth And Home one😎

What you describe sounds almost
right on😳
However
though
I DO get the flashbacks
but only to the
extremely detailed and
extremely specific things😳👽
Never really get any vague just sad
or other emotions without the clear
memory trigger that a new situation
causes the old similar situation
to jump forth as if it were
brand new emotional state👽😳😢
My memory is too ha we cases
contain every detail even smell
taste and more details and is
totally new not old👽
Oh yes definitely much abuse by
super narcissistic and control
freak people and also physically
abusive people😢🤬
The mental emotional
head game players
were in many ways the worse ones😢🤬
I do not know whether I told you
about my heroin addict ex and his
creepy things he did to smash my
self esteem to death😢🤬
Mother, stepmother and even other
kids and teachers, yes teachers,
treating me as if I were retarded
and a freak because of various
physical deformaties and restrictions
and having a beard and mustache at
9 years old mixed
with puberty brought on by medical intervention at sound age 8,
because they were making sure
I matured as a girl and not an
intersexual person👽😢🤬
My mother took DES when pregnant
with me so
as with many children exposed
to that prevent the miscarriage
drugs back then,
I was left with genital deformaties
and required surgery to fix me😢🤬
On the other hand I was indeed a girl
and over 30 pregnancies confirmed
my ability to get pregnant and
prove being female, just not a
perfect one, hence losing all but one pregnancy👽😢

So yeah more than one reason for my psychological issues and PTSD and such👽

Okay going to wait and post more at
the new thread and here perhaps too⁉️

My mind and body are a bit over
exhausted at the moment so talk with you later dear Snake Lady❤️

I do love your user name❤️😎
It sounds
mystical and gentle but powerful too😎❤️
Sweet dreams to you my dear friend💤💤💤[/B]

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posted August 28, 2022 11:45 AM            

Oh yeah about the constant
apologizing issue😢👽
My beloved husband of over
25 ,years to date❤️
Is still trying to break me of
that problem/habit👽❤️

He reminds me that I am not with
my ex or the many abusers and to stop
always apologizing when I have not done anything wrong👽
I apologize for some of the weirdest
things👽
Shall explain more later on the
Hearth And Home thread and here too
a copy of it😎
This is a good thread here others
can also reply on about autism
and its relationship to trauma and
Multiple types and number of
the times of such things that
had happened👽
There I go again a rambling 😅
Good night again dear Snake Lady❤️

posted August 28, 2022 11:47 AM            

Oh yeah Autism is definitely
not Down's Syndrome.😎

I suppose there are folks with
both but am not sure about that👽

As far as being a genius in one
area but not in other areas
a good example is this:
My husband describes me as
going from
Einstein to Elmo to Rain Main
and back to Einstein😎
The dyslexia gets involved and
then stuttering and then I just
try and become invisible and start
rocking and go blank until my
brains return and I stop flapping my arms like a rabid raven👽
Yeah I am an idiot in some areas
but a genius in others.
That can make me appear retarded
even though I am actually a
high genius of at least 180 IQ😳

I shall move these posts replies
to the new thread at
HEARTH And HOME ASAP 😎

Rough night trying to get myself
moving more and clear head up
and struggling with overpowering
nausea from the chemothetapy😢

posted August 28, 2022 11:56 AM            

So please feel free to ask
ANY questions you have concerning
all of this😎

posted August 31, 2022 02:18 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
I do want to reply to specific points
in your first post here on this thread😎

So please feel free to ask
ANY questions you have concerning
all of this😎

It may help others to heal and understand
folks who are thusly affected by
either being the
afflicted person or
by being the parent, partner. and or caregiver of the
afflicted to all cope better❤️

---

Lexxi <3

Yes, you’ve clearly been through more than most of us could know.
I only understand CPTSD because of my own experiences with narcissistic abusers, so I can relate to that much.
Yes it’s true that genius doesn’t relate at all to what most people see as intelligence. Often it looks like stupidity.
When I was in grade school (growing up in a foreign country), I was put into the class with special needs children sometimes because I kept going to the nurse saying I felt sick. I know now it was because I was being bullied and had no motivation to learn there.

Will reply more tomorrow but wanted to say a little something before too long!

posted August 31, 2022 03:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Snake Lady:
Lexxi <3

Yes, you’ve clearly been through more than most of us could know.
I only understand CPTSD because of my own experiences with narcissistic abusers, so I can relate to that much.
Yes it’s true that genius doesn’t relate at all to what most people see as intelligence. Often it looks like stupidity.
When I was in grade school (growing up in a foreign country), I was put into the class with special needs children sometimes because I kept going to the nurse saying I felt sick. I know now it was because I was being bullied and had no motivation to learn there.

Will reply more tomorrow but wanted to say a little something before too long!

Hugs,
S.L.

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Thank you for stopping in to talk to me❤️
I am not at my best at the moment so please bear with me👽
I shall reply ASAP 😎
Did you see my thread about suffering⁉️😎

posted September 02, 2022 05:02 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lexxigramer:

Dear Snake Lady❤️
Wow you too needed put in what was
in my day called the
retard class too⁉️😢😳😭
That really crushes a
child's self esteem😭
I too eas bullied and beaten bloody
by other kids in grade and high school,
on the school bus and wherever else
they could gand up up on me
and even had my
trombone broken over my head and
my glasses broken, which sucks being that without them I am blind and could not afford to replace them easily👽🤬
In elementary school there was a
huge open top sewer cesspool and the other kids would throw me in it👽🤬
It was like almost 4 feet deep and at that time I was only 4 feet 9 inches tall👽🤬
So I drank sewage and was covered in it and in my clothes and ugh awful was an understatement😭🤬
And get this👽
The teachers blamed me and laughed
about it😭🤬
The janitor would hose me off with
a garden hose👽
There is more about all that but
for the moment ugh do not want to
think about that ugh👽

Thank you for stopping in to talk to me❤️
I am not at my best at the moment so please bear with me👽
I shall reply ASAP 😎
Did you see my thread about suffering⁉️😎

PS pardon the typos and autofills as usual👽

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That's just terrible
I'm sorry you went through that.
My experience was much better. The special needs teacher was very sweet and I could actually learn with her as opposed to my math teacher at the time, who would slap kids around and call them stupid if she felt like it. Math was my worst subject at the time.
My siblings would make fun of me for going to the special needs class, but I wasn't bullied physically as much as emotionally.
I did have low confidence regarding my math skills for many years literally up to the point where I decided to study electrical engineering. I had one session with a kind tutor and suddenly my math skills emerged like magic.
So healing is possible for sure.