posted January 19, 2014 03:24 PM            

1. You feel like you have found your soul mate. This man appears to be the man of your dreams. You are walking on air. You never have been so happy.

2. You feel as if he knows you better than anyone in your life. You feel like he knows you deep inside.

3. You feel more understood than you ever have in your life.

4. You feel you found Mr Right times a million

5. He starts doing little things to take away your dignity. These start small.

6. When you call him on it, he acts as if he did not do anything and you are imagining it.

7. You think you ARE imagining it. This is the first step in Gaslighting which is a taking away of the reality of the other person.

8. He may go back to the charming lover you knew initially. You will feel like it will be alright.

9. He will escalate the Gaslighting behaviors.

10. You will probably blame yourself.

11. He will start to undermine you more. He will use your weaknesses to get you to doubt yourself and to lower your self esteem.

12. The above may go on for a short or long period but the person’s self esteem will suffer a great deal.

13. He may start to cheat and blame you.

14. You may start to think that he cheated because you were inferior in looks, weight etc

15. He will continue on escalating abusive behavior until you leave. The time frame on this varies from days to years to a lifetime.

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posted January 19, 2014 04:05 PM            

This is how one knowflake chooses to use this forum for their own ends.

Or, try the New Rules thread here

Too bad this "psychology" major (yes sir!) refuses to look in the mirror.

15 ways to know you are dealing with a socially challenged - FLAKE.

posted January 19, 2014 05:42 PM            

Take your nasty comments and go to the nasty Forum

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posted January 19, 2014 05:44 PM            

Have a nice day Node-y

Lets move on.

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posted January 19, 2014 06:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Node:
For those that rarely go to the folder Global Unity be aware.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum26/HTML/002409.html

This is how one knowflake chooses to use this forum for their own ends.

Or, try the New Rules thread [b]here

Too bad this "psychology" major (yes sir!) refuses to look in the mirror.

15 ways to know you are dealing with a socially challenged - FLAKE.

rainbow, rainbow, rainbow.
best to you
have a nice day
onward and upward[/B]

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posted January 19, 2014 08:53 PM            

Thanks Buddy

I don't allow the negativity into my Forums. I can't help if it goes on in other Forums. We have had only two problems in here.

I laugh it off but appreciate your support so much, My Friend.

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posted January 19, 2014 08:54 PM            

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posted January 19, 2014 09:54 PM            

If a person is a jerk, I will just close the thread and start a new one.

Eventually, the person will go away.

It is no problem.

No worries to anyone who posts in this Forum. We have a peaceful Forum with a good vibe

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posted January 20, 2014 07:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by incognito:
I think that is a good way to deal with it Ami. You are so calm. I am learning and that is why I visit these forums. I myself am rather less patient and will sometimes find myself stooping to the level of the abuser when attacked...it is something I have to work on. There is a fine line between throwing the abuse back in someones' face and becoming enmeshed in their negativity. Whenever I attempt to fight fire with fire it never feels good-its as if I have been contaminated by their negative energy.

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That is so funny you say about calm. I have been a Mod for 3-4 years. I had very personal goals for my life at LL. One was to learn to deal with people in a mature way.

I was the type who was afraid to voice my opinion. I have Echo conj Saturn. Echo makes one voiceless.

At first, I went overboard and would fight about anything like if someone looks at you wrong, you punch them.

Then, Randall taught me to ignore, which has been one of the single best lessons in my life.

Now, I can usually find humor in the situation, which is the best way yet.

However, at this point, I still realize that anger is very hard for me and now I need to really know that I can have boundaries and it is OK.

Thanks for appreciating me. I really need it

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posted January 20, 2014 03:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by incognito:
no worries

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posted January 21, 2014 05:24 AM            

isolation, confusion, implicit threats, twanging the good or bad dichotomy. are other things which come to mind.

the only one which broke me thoroughly was being sociopathic to help me avoid sociopaths! i guess time will tell if it does

posted January 21, 2014 07:58 AM            

I want to ask you for clarification. Did you say YOU became more sociopathic to deal with it, Florence?

Please, explain. Thank you

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posted January 21, 2014 08:26 AM            

i don't mean i became sociopathic but there must be something in me to repeat this pattern. also, altho i have compassion i also have a strong objective moral thing that i have started to wonder i might have made to filter through because i lack a natural ability to do right.

i mean more sociopathic in that i feel infinitely empty and sometimes incapable of experiencing true love.

you did look at my chart once before. im not sure what would show it. but anyway, just finishing - hopefully - another one of these ugly messes. no idea where to go from here.

posted January 21, 2014 08:32 AM            

At any rate, it sounds like you got into patterns and feel stuck in them, which happens

Let me look at your chart a bit.

You have the 29th degree of Venus which can make you feel frozen when it comes to love like you can't figure out what to do next. This may be part of your issue, too

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posted January 21, 2014 08:34 AM            

The Sun conj Chiron and Sedan--terrible, terrible abuse from your father. Was that the case? It conj the DSC. You find the same thing in others.
This is prolly what is happening

You have a lovely grand trine so oodles of gifts.

The above aspect is very strong though because the degrees are close.

Please, tell me about it, if you care to.

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posted January 21, 2014 08:36 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Yes, if one had childhood abuse, one will repeat it. People will say you can stop it. I don't think you can w/out a miracle from God and these do happen, but are rare.

At any rate, it sounds like you got into patterns and feel stuck in them, which happens

Let me look at your chart a bit.

You have the 29th degree of Venus which can make you feel frozen when it comes to love like you can't figure out what to do next. This may be part of your issue, too

---

i wasnt abused. my mum was cold though we have found a way to bridge those different communication styles. which i thought would never happen - i mention because i know you struggle with your relationship with your mum & it isnt impossible., altho more difficult i imagine with what you expereienced.

yea the 29th degree im really upset over, it explains a lot & i think i maybe am not meant to experience that which .. at least i can work around.

the rest .. im too raw at the moment, i just needed to get some things off my chest.

posted January 21, 2014 08:48 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Wow

The Sun conj Chiron and Sedan--terrible, terrible abuse from your father. Was that the case? It conj the DSC. You find the same thing in others.
This is prolly what is happening

You have a lovely grand trine so oodles of gifts.

The above aspect is very strong though because the degrees are close.

Please, tell me about it, if you care to.

---

my dad is ... to me he embodies all the graces a man could have, he is wise and selfless.

but i have made up for it in relationships.

the latest .. came when i was broken, id prayed to god because i was so bad & he lightened me. as soon as i returned what i thought was an attraction ... he did the gaslighting thing, mocked me to all his friends and suggested it was actually to reignite former traumas to heal them. well, it actually did annoyingly help but it was .. a friendship id always wanted and healed me on that level .. and that i grieve over. kind of like a wound being reopened to then heal it better. idk i think he was a sadist and id wanted that darkness too but i couldnt handle it to that degree. it kind of hurt to be healed. really outdid myself in the neatness of that one.

before that someone i thought was going to kill me because he pretended he was going mad and then came out with really scary things.

and another that is too long to go into.

posted January 21, 2014 09:19 AM            

Do you want me to delete my posts to you?

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posted January 21, 2014 10:13 AM            

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posted January 21, 2014 11:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Telling your story is not disgusting Florence. I tell mine because one heals in bringing the dark out to the light!

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posted January 21, 2014 12:35 PM            

I understand why you don't trust me, because when someone returns the treatment they get, they become the same as what they are fighting,

if you can stop labeling people and spend a minute in their shoes. ?. You see that they are victims too

so, ami, sorry for seeing you as the "other". You are what you are, as am I, and I am going to let you be you, k? We can only change ourselves and we become what we "hate" though I have never hated you I am putting down the urge to talk you into being what I think would make you happier/healthier.

posted January 21, 2014 12:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
Florence is very wise. Your comment about repeating it, though I think you meant keep attracting the same types, which is also true, hits on another aspect too ami

I understand why you don't trust me, because when someone returns the treatment they get, they become the same as what they are fighting,

if you can stop labeling people and spend a minute in their shoes. ?. You see that they are victims too

so, ami, sorry for seeing you as the "other". You are what you are, as am I, and I am going to let you be you, k? We can only change ourselves and we become what we "hate" though I have never hated you I am putting down the urge to talk you into being what I think would make you happier/healthier.

What you resist persists. Totally.

---

Cata
You can have your opinion, as long as you are respectful. I will do the same.

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