posted July 17, 2014 02:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
THIS I agree with. Entirely. My husband and I give our listeners a raw, authentic view inside of kink, BDSM, and modern relating practises. But we (usually) treat each other with respect and dignity. (My husband is a SUN-PRIAPUS-NESSUS conjunction in the 10H. He gets a bit ... pushy. My SUN-PLUTO-BML just pushes right back -- but diplomatically. Libra, natch.)

As my 'boyfriend' is, first, a dear friend of mine, I've said a few things in confidence back when my marriage was -- let's just say, not in the state it should be. I'm proud to say my husband and I have undertaken the work and done a total 180º in regards to how we communicate with each other, rebuilding lost intimacy and learning how to REALLY be married to each other.

So, akin to my girlfriends, I'm sure he's gotten an earful before -- when I was desperate or feeling very lost. But my listeners? NO. We (try) to present a unified front. And, 98% of the time, it's been successful.

I say 98%, because my husband has been verbally and emotionally abusive in the past. He would even do this on the air. I actually had a few listeners who had become friends (some former clients) show concern.

Nowadays, it's more like ... Sicilian men. They're a trip. You've got to be a bit 'bigger' than they are. If they love you -- your trust is not misplaced. If they don't -- it's time to reconsider your options. (I've noticed a pattern with these men which is similar to machismo. Not to stereotype -- as everything has its exceptions, but there's a pattern there.)

But if you're in the public eye, being disrespectful -- especially to your loved ones -- is NOT a good practise. And, if you're one of the many (though still minority) who are in a non-traditional relationship, respect should be given to ALL -- with a sense of priority maintained where it's due.

When I don't see this, I get VERY angry.

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Beautiful Indigo! No wonder you intrigue me...

My husband too has been abusive in the past but like you we have really come a long way...he is a good guy but has his issues. Interesting we are both in the psychology field; I am almost done with my masters in psychology. I too have changed in how I interact with him at key moments..I have mars in leo conjunct venus so I tend to be provocative back when I feel provoked when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. If I feel the other is attacking me unjustly my instinct is to defend myself and attack back but when other has issues with impulse control when under stress its best to help other deescalate...

posted July 17, 2014 02:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
I've lost all interest. Close the thread or continue beats me. I wasn't trying to offend or disrespect anyone in multiple relationships outside of their marriages. I have my idea and opinion of marriage as do millions of other people. I don't think it's right to compare the thousands that are in your lifestyle and tag it on to everyone else, and that everyone needs to be open.

Sorry if I've offended was not my intention.

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You haven't offended.

posted July 17, 2014 02:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:

One of the biggest things I tackle in my practise, Amelia, is the difference between the reality and the fantasy. Couples -- either together, or one but not the other, come to me all of the time, hot and bothered with the fantasy of something so taboo. But I'm not in the business of fantasy; I deal in reality.

Some of these couples go on to find it's the best thing they ever did. Many can't hack it -- and shouldn't try. I advise them to keep it at the fantasy level, which they both enjoy. Some try it again (usually 55+ age range) and find success the second time around.

EVERY one of the successful couples have a VERY strong marital foundation. They're not unhappy and seeking a '1950s divorce' as my husband once quoted. They love, respect, and appreciate their partner, and, for whatever their individual reasons, don't find happiness in monogamy.

Pair bonding is a vast subject with many fascinating nuances. Monogamy isn't what it used to be, either. The level of sex-negativity in the overall culture has a huge impact upon whether or not nonmonogamy will be considered. It's directly proportionate in many cases to the religiousity of the culture as well. Western culture is in large part sex-negative due to the Puritanism on which it was built.

... I'm blathering. You get the point.

And for the curious -- astrology!

MOON conjunct URANUS (1º) 3H, 23º-24º SCO.
MOON/EROS=LILITH (0º)
SUN conjunct PLUTO/BML (2º) 2H.

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You fascinate me! I like the route you have taken career wise in the diverse field of psychology..It seems you have a number of things going on career wise connected to psychology based on what you are saying in this thread and others; couples sex therapy in one hand but also trauma connected to abuse in the other.

posted July 17, 2014 02:47 PM            

First, anger is an emotion and emotion is commonly associated with Moon. Though there is a lot of things. You all know more about astrology than I do.

I'm not trying to be rude, or anything of that nature. I have Gemini moon and maybe that's it? Logical emotions? If such a thing really works. LOL
But I mean, if I disagree. Even if I talk crap about your beliefs or the way that you conduct your relationships or how you view marriage. That's no reason to get angry, in my view. <-- key point.

I mean to me. The person MOST able to make me angry or upset about anything is Barbie. Reason is because she has the most direct impact on my life and I have a LOT invested in her. My heart, my mind, my life.
Myself and others here (or you and others here), there really isn't anything invested. Correct? I mean, if your views differ from mine and you and I just can't even STAND the others views. I mean yeah, it can be frustrating trying to get that across in an understandable way to other person. At the end of the day though, I go back to my life and lifestyle and you go back to yours. No harm, no change.
There's virtually no impact at all. I conduct my marriage the way I want and you conduct your marriage the way you want.

We might mumble to ourselves about it but really nothing is changed anyway. So I don't see any logical reason to be upset about it.

oh Gemini Moon...

Anyway, I hope that's not offensive. I hate to have emotions that I see as pointless and if I care about someone in any way I hate to see them do the same. (so it's a compliment in a way. LOL Strange compliment perhaps)
I also am aware though that I guess it's important for people to express themselves. Maybe I could stand to get more emotional. Sometimes I wish that I would. Makes me feel more "human".

posted July 17, 2014 06:53 PM            

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Originally posted by KarmicMoon:
I wonder if I've ever listened to your show Indigo.

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posted July 17, 2014 06:59 PM            

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Well, I guess if you want to look at like this.
Monogamous and and nonmonogamous happen even with wild animals.
Some have it in their hearts one way and others another way.

As for me, no matter which way others choose to have their relationships, it just FEELS unnatural for me to be romantic or to have romantic feelings for more than one. Monogamy feels extremely natural in my heart.

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Good analogy.

I have draconic juno in aquarius and 9th harmonic juno in aquarius but I have tropic natal juno in Taurus....

So my physical self is possessive but my higher self is not and as I grow older I will be less possessive..

I am territorial, its an instinct but I dont want to be like this; I want to love freely without expecting anything in return. I think my juno placements explain my fascination with open relationships even though I have never had one; its like my higher self would like for me to be able to be this way and love that freely...

When my taurus kicks in my other juno placements try to correct and push me towards my higher self.

Both draconic charts and the 9th harmonic have to do with your higher self.

So I ask you this what is your natal juno, you draco juno and your 9th harmonic juno doing sign wise?.

posted July 17, 2014 07:34 PM            

Natal is early Libra 12th house, conjunction to her sun and moon which are her 12th also.
Hers is cancer close to my moon and MC. Not sure if it's a conjunction.
I guess my moon MC midpoint of nothing else.

Composite Juno in Leo sitting in the middle of a close Mars/moon conjunction. (15-16-17 degrees) which also means square Saturn

9th harmonic is Libra again at 19. Her asc is 17.. If that really matters. Just FYI.

posted July 17, 2014 08:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
I always picture her voice sounding sweet, soft and feminine kind of like Scarlett Johansson in the movie "her."

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I've always pictured her the opposite. Strong, confident and take charge with a deep, sultry voice, lol.

posted July 17, 2014 08:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by KarmicMoon:
I've always pictured her the opposite. Strong, confident and take charge with a deep, sultry voice, lol.

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posted July 17, 2014 08:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
OK here ya go!

Natal is early Libra 12th house, conjunction to her sun and moon which are her 12th also.
Hers is cancer close to my moon and MC. Not sure if it's a conjunction.
I guess my moon MC midpoint of nothing else.

Composite Juno in Leo sitting in the middle of a close Mars/moon conjunction. (15-16-17 degrees) which also means square Saturn

9th harmonic is Libra again at 19. Her asc is 17.. If that really matters. Just FYI.

Draconic is 25 aqua

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I just checked my helio juno and it is in aries..

Helio Juno in Aries
draco Juno in aqua
9H Juno in aqua
Natal in Taurus

Does your draco conjunct your natal SN?

What do you have in Helio?

ADD:

posted July 17, 2014 09:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:

I just checked my helio juno and it is in aries..

Helio Juno in Aries
draco Juno in aqua
9H Juno in aqua
Natal in Taurus

Does your draco conjunct your natal SN?

What do you have in Helio?

ADD:

I just noticed my husband's helio and natal juno conjunct my sun by one orb and his 9th harmonic juno conjuncts exact my sun. His draconic juno conjuncts my natal juno but by 5 orbs.

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No. My Natal sn is 8th house, 6 Taurus. Draconic juno 25 aqua 12th house. (Draconic asc 29 aqua.
My Natal sun is 27 Leo though... Opposite.

How do to get a helio chart?

I'm not familiar with all of these. 9th harmonic very very vaguely.

posted July 17, 2014 09:36 PM            

Anyway, helio is 12 Libra. Her Natal mercury BTW.
Pluto at 11
Venus at 9
Mars at 15

posted July 17, 2014 09:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Got it!
This is all fascinating!
I wonder if sometime soon maybe I could post these charts in personal readings and have you look at them..?

Anyway, helio is 12 Libra. Her Natal mercury BTW.
Pluto at 11
Venus at 9
Mars at 15

That chart is interesting. The only square is Jupiter to an exact earth/moon conjunction.

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Juno in libra wins for you! three junos out of 4 in libra .

posted July 17, 2014 10:01 PM            

From 8th house, 29 Taurus

Square sun
Trine mercury and Mars
Trine asc

posted July 17, 2014 10:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
oh she comes off as someone with a strong character, who is assertive and confident for sure! but she has this sweetness and kindness too and this charming femininity simultaneously; I feel her voice is soft and therapeutic but her spirit is very strong simultaneously. I think is quite a nice combo and why she intrigues me.

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posted July 18, 2014 12:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
I've lost all interest. Close the thread or continue beats me. I wasn't trying to offend or disrespect anyone in multiple relationships outside of their marriages. I have my idea and opinion of marriage as do billions of other people. I don't think it's right to compare the thousands that are in your lifestyle and tag it on to everyone else, and that everyone needs to be open.

Sorry if I've offended was not my intention.

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No, no, no, it's fine. I'm just stating my opinion, too. This is how we all learn, after all.

posted July 18, 2014 12:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
I don't think it's right to compare the thousands that are in your lifestyle and tag it on to everyone else, and that everyone needs to be open.

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Okay, NOW I'm confused. I never once said that everyone should be anything -- monogamous, nonmonogamous -- or something entirely different.

posted July 18, 2014 12:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
Beautiful Indigo! No wonder you intrigue me...

My husband too has been abusive in the past but like you we have really come a long way...he is a good guy but has his issues. Interesting we are both in the psychology field; I am almost done with my masters in psychology. I too have changed in how I interact with him at key moments..I have mars in leo conjunct venus so I tend to be provocative back when I feel provoked when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. If I feel the other is attacking me unjustly my instinct is to defend myself and attack back but when other has issues with impulse control when under stress its best to help other deescalate...

So for the first time we are both trying together and we are getting along relatively well for a while now..Hopefully this is a turning point for us. Before I would put the need to change all on him and vice versa but we both need to listen to each other and make an effort; even if one of us has the bigger issues it is still always a systemic problem that needs to be treated as such.

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Wow! Congratulations! A Masters is a big, big deal. Yeah, I can't even begin to share how much I've learnt from my clients. It's such a two-way street. They've taught me how to not only help them, but myself, and others. I've been very fortunate, with my education, confidantes, and my clientele.

Oh, and I hear you about LEO. My MOON dwad's in LEO. 28º, in fact. Yeah. Smack on REGULUS. I guess with my 0º SAG MARS, I've grown into the sort who's been known to throw a thing or two if I get even a whiff of abuse.

Interestingly enough, when I suspected that my cyclothymia from my adolescence was re-asserting itself, my therapist actually asked, 'are you sure you're just not being heard by your loved ones?'

What a wake-up that was for me. (2012, just before reconnecting with my Twin.) I start suddenly becoming so angry and upset that I can't even use my usual bang-up tool -- communication -- and I blame myself. I assume I MUST be the problem.

Not anymore!

posted July 18, 2014 12:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
You fascinate me! I like the route you have taken career wise in the diverse field of psychology..It seems you have a number of things going on career wise connected to psychology based on what you are saying in this thread and others; couples sex therapy in one hand but also trauma connected to abuse in the other.

That is so cool your husband and you host a radio show about psychology together! Sounds exciting.

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You flatter me. I'm gonna blush -- really! It's the Virgo rising.

As to the choices I made -- thank you! It means a lot to me you feel that way. It hasn't been easy. Striking out to do something differently is often met with some sort of opposition somewhere. So goes the way of the pioneer.

Above all, I try and help people really reconnect with themselves and ditch the convention that may be holding them back; whether that's men who have to be 'tough guys' or women who can't allow themselves to be more man than the men in their lives. Some need it. Some, unfortunately, are pushed into directions by their partners where they don't want to venture.

So I try and help them really be comfortable in their own skin. Otherwise, as you know, true intimacy isn't ever possible. It's not about being different for the sake of it -- it's really just about finding what works for YOU, and, providing it's a healthy approach, accepting it rather than refusing it outright because 'it's not what everybody else does'.

I'm definitely a bit of a maverick. I would never try and convince anyone that an alternative lifestyle is the way they've got to go -- but for some, it becomes the only way to true happiness. I've discovered, at this point in my life, I'm definitely one of them.

Healing from sex abuse is one of the hardest undertakings I've ever attempted. And we're all on different legs of the journey. But we all have to start it sometime. Man, that first step ....

So, yes, I definitely put a lot of time into helping people take the first step. Recently, a very good friend of mine put together the most incredible video to cheer me up by getting people I've helped together -- to all say something about it. Oh, how I cried. Wow. My heart was radiating with love. It was the most incredible thing.

posted July 18, 2014 12:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
This thread is about:

Blasting your personal relationship problems in public instead of working them out in private.
Barbie is saying relationship problems should be private.
Astrologically, what would make a couple put their relationship problems in public?

Hopefully that clears this up.
Mercury isn't retrograde again is it? lol

Barbie is thinking of openness as honesty, not whoring yourself. Just so that's clear.

Just trying to get this train on the right tracks.

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I swear to God, it is. I keep saying to myself -- good lord, Mercury's not Wretch -- WTF is going on? Madness, everywhere!

Well, let's post the composite I have with my husband. We chose to 'air out our problems publicly' for the benefit of others. Now, hundreds of people rely upon our guidance and support -- so we must be doing something right there.