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Author
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Topic: to synastry, or not to synastry?
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venus2tinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 613
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 02, 2015 02:36 PM
  
I'm curious about how long you guys wait to do a synastry chart with a new prospect or relationship. To synastry, or not to synastry? That is the question. And when? IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 613
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 02, 2015 02:40 PM
premature synastration?IP: Logged |
babybull82
Knowflake Posts: 727
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 02, 2015 02:40 PM
This is a good question. To be honest it's kind of a habit for me now to look up a person's birth chart or our synastry. I like being able to see what makes us attracted to one another but one thing I do..and I'm sure others do to is focus on the negative aspects instead of the positive stuff. Sometimes ignorance IS bliss. IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 613
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 02, 2015 03:45 PM
yeah when I came to astrology I was mired down in past relationships and issues, too busy to consider what happens when someone new comes along. As I stated above and then edited for some reason, I met someone pretty nice (by my standards). He's really straight forward about what he wants (Aries Moon). I'm not so sure (but I'm always slow, unless the earth moves for me). I did our synastry, and now I'm not interested, and I think there's something unfair in that...I didn't even give him a chance, and I am leaning more and more towards not giving him a chance, just because of the synastry. I'm being honest, but this doesn't seem like a good thing...IP: Logged |
Gemini Blues
Knowflake Posts: 516
From: The future... or the past. I get them confused...
Registered: May 2014
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posted March 02, 2015 04:45 PM
Guilty of doing it too early. The real question for me is when to put the synastry aside and get to know the person.IP: Logged |
ikja
Knowflake Posts: 952
From: London, UK
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted March 02, 2015 05:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
premature synastration?
Lmaaaaao IP: Logged |
frankie2912
Knowflake Posts: 1325
From: Kansas
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted March 02, 2015 05:22 PM
i sometimes check synastry immediately..i'm not even afraid to ask someone i just met what their birth info is. i guess they accept it as part of my quirky personality. i usually play it off with humor and just say it's fun and then i offer to read their chart or something so they don't suspect that i'm actually a stalkerish creepy weirdo.IP: Logged |
SnowCatcher
Knowflake Posts: 41
From:
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted March 02, 2015 07:02 PM
The thing I'll do is, sometimes, is first look at the Sun sign... then if I get curious, I'll make a chart - no time yet (never asked), then I'll, with all my current knowledge of astrology at the time, look at a few things, like the moon sign etc... while doing all this I'm giving the person a chance in real life, it's not until something major happens that I feel the need to really dig into their charts, and see if I can figure something out - I did that for my ex, when I realized she had a VERY assertive personality and some problems were arising, I felt like I needed to intellectually figure something out - and sure enough, mars conjunct the sun (& conjunct saturn) in Pieces. From there I was able to figure out her ASC sign through observation & feeling her out, then slinging that onto her chart... then again, maybe that's just my Taurus ASC/Virgo Sun approach - observe, move slow, whilst analyzing like crazy:PSo with that last sentence, I think you should do what you feel is right though - we learn through mistakes, but we all have ways we do things right? we ought to one day meet someone who fits our habitual patterns, maybe... (: My 2 cents(: IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 4531
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted March 02, 2015 07:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
premature synastration?
LMAO I do them with LOOOOOOTS of people and if I were in your position I would. But ultimately it depends on your outlook.
My attitude is, look, but have no expectations. Don't assume, essentially.
There's traits in my own chart that match what you read and the same aspects don't have other traits that you'd read about.
Hope that I even made sense. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 4531
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted March 02, 2015 07:14 PM
If you think it COULD alter your view of them, then no. IP: Logged |
babybull82
Knowflake Posts: 727
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 02, 2015 07:35 PM
quote:
Originally posted by frankie2912:
i sometimes check synastry immediately..i'm not even afraid to ask someone i just met what their birth info is. i guess they accept it as part of my quirky personality. i usually play it off with humor and just say it's fun and then i offer to read their chart or something so they don't suspect that i'm actually a stalkerish creepy weirdo.
Haha, this!! IP: Logged |
Peluches
Knowflake Posts: 512
From: Vαleŋtiŋe ~
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted March 02, 2015 07:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
If you think it COULD alter your view of them, then no.
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 50901
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 02, 2015 09:22 PM
Moving to Interpersonal Astrology.IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 613
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 02, 2015 09:31 PM
I didn't get a chance to thank you guys for replying. I appreciate it. The synastry definitely impacts my decision. The first synastry chart I saw was my Pluto conjunct his Mars exact. I know how that felt, and I can't settle for less. I'm doomed. Pluto doomed.IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 613
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 02, 2015 09:55 PM
So I'm not sure if I will look in the future, but I know it's going to impact my decisions.IP: Logged |
Koho
Knowflake Posts: 481
From: New York
Registered: Jun 2014
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posted March 02, 2015 10:03 PM
I do it immediately but not just for dating but with coworkers.It saved me a lot of potential arguments with a few Mars in Capricorn folk squaring my Aries Mars while conjunct my Moon.. disaster. Luckily if I'm aware of it early I can be a little more patient and forgiving IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2989
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted March 02, 2015 10:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by babybull82:
This is a good question. To be honest it's kind of a habit for me now to look up a person's birth chart or our synastry. I like being able to see what makes us attracted to one another but one thing I do..and I'm sure others do to is focus on the negative aspects instead of the positive stuff. Sometimes ignorance IS bliss.
IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2989
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted March 02, 2015 10:21 PM
I was dating recently and would get the guys' birthdates. I wouldn't even consider going on a date with a guy if there were incompatible moon signs, no Saturn aspects and unaspected Suns. One guy met the basic criteria there but our synastry was loaded with Uranus aspects, and some of them were hard aspects as well. I gave it a shot anyway. It was a sudden attraction, and an abrupt, quick and fiery ending.I have wasted my time with doomed synastry before and don't intend to go down that road again. I figure, I was given the gift of astrological awareness/fascination with the occult/Pisces moon/8th house moon for a reason. Why have the skill if I'm not going to use it to my advantage? And for the record, I'm not afraid of hard synastry, I'm not afraid of squares or hard work. I'm afraid of doomed synastry, relationships that are bound to include violence or be short-lived or lack emotional connection at its heart. There is a difference. IP: Logged |
Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 4923
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted March 02, 2015 10:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Koho:
I do it immediately but not just for dating but with coworkers.It saved me a lot of potential arguments with a few Mars in Capricorn folk squaring my Aries Mars while conjunct my Moon.. disaster. Luckily if I'm aware of it early I can be a little more patient and forgiving
I do the same! IP: Logged |
Lotis White
Moderator Posts: 1820
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 02, 2015 10:59 PM
I have no reservations whatsoever about doing it as soon as possible. I like to understand the other person, where they are coming form, and what their connection with me is.As to the question of being scared off by 'bad' synastry, I'm one of those who'd rather know, then not know, exactly what it is I'm dealing with. If the pull were strong enough you wouldn't give up on the other person no matter what anyway. You'd just better understand how to deal with them. So I say bring it on! Besides, I think sometimes certain aspects are not as horrible as we think they are. How we feel about the other person when we're with them is very telling. A couple of squares and opps are not going to kill a relationship. I read on another thread one time that one women described the guy's Saturn squaring her Moon as a protective influence. Not saying I'd want that aspect in synastry... It's just that different people have different tolerance levels for certain hard aspects, and experience them in different ways. What is unbearable for one couple might be perfectly okay for another. Astrology is very reliable, it's only biased interpretations that can screw things up for people. If you feel like it's working despite Mercury square Sun, or whatever, then maybe it really is working. I know I'm willing to trade off having certain crappy aspects in exchange for having certain other amazing aspects. And with my chart I HAVE to be like that. I have Venus at 29 Sag and Moon at 29 Cancer... What makes nice aspects with my Venus can clash with my Moon and vice versa. Any person with a square, semisextile, or quincunx in their chart is in the same position as me. They might have to make some trade-offs. Besides a few hard aspects are good because they make things dynamic. If anything I'd be more worried about a lack of synastry interaspects. I've found that if we like someone in the first place there's always a reason and I've never failed to see why this is using charts. Most of the time the synastry just confirms what you already knew in your gut anyway. Like when attraction is mixed with repulsion it usually shows in the synastry. Or if you knew something wasn't quite right it shows. Also, I do have standards or a formula for what I'm looking for in my potential partner synastry for sure. Especially with the 5th, 7th, 8th houses, house ruler aspects, secondary house overlays, and physical attraction, affection, and communication inter-planetary aspects, and all that good stuff. But there really is a variety of ways these things can be fulfilled, so it's not that hard. IP: Logged |
babybull82
Knowflake Posts: 727
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 02, 2015 11:25 PM
Ok, but come on you guys mean to tell me if you met a guy/girl and got their deets and discovered you guys had a bunch of Uranus DW (I'm talking opps and squares) in syanstry, you wouldn't at least give it a second thought? I mean I guess if a person is ok with something being short lived than by all means go for it. But if you're like me and ready for something more stable it may just stop you in your tracks, just saying. I'm not afraid of hard aspects when it comes to other planets, just Uranus in particular because I know first hand how it plays out sometimes in relationships (Aquarius descendant right here) and I'd like to avoid having to constantly start over from scratch all the time. IP: Logged |
Lotis White
Moderator Posts: 1820
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 02, 2015 11:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by babybull82:
Ok, but come on you guys mean to tell me if you met a guy/girl and got their deets and discovered you guys had a bunch of Uranus DW (I'm talking opps and squares) in syanstry, you wouldn't at least give it a second thought? I mean I guess if a person is ok with something being short lived than by all means go for it. But if you're like me and ready for something more stable it may just stop you in your tracks, just saying. I'm not afraid of hard aspects when it comes to other planets, just Uranus in particular because I know first hand how it plays out sometimes in relationships (Aquarius descendant right here) and I'd like to avoid having to constantly start over from scratch all the time.
There's nothing wrong with knowing what does and does not work for you, and looking for that. If you feel you need to avoid Uranus hard aspects then by all means... It's not wrong to make judgement calls based on what's right for you using synastry. Some people seem to believe it's 'unfair' but I'm not one of those. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 5131
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 03, 2015 12:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by venus2tinkerbell:
premature synastration?
 OMG LOL!!!
That's the funniest thing anyone has said all year!
No.
All decade!!!  IP: Logged |
Koho
Knowflake Posts: 481
From: New York
Registered: Jun 2014
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posted March 03, 2015 01:21 AM
quote:
Originally posted by babybull82:
Ok, but come on you guys mean to tell me if you met a guy/girl and got their deets and discovered you guys had a bunch of Uranus DW (I'm talking opps and squares) in syanstry, you wouldn't at least give it a second thought? I mean I guess if a person is ok with something being short lived than by all means go for it. But if you're like me and ready for something more stable it may just stop you in your tracks, just saying. I'm not afraid of hard aspects when it comes to other planets, just Uranus in particular because I know first hand how it plays out sometimes in relationships (Aquarius descendant right here) and I'd like to avoid having to constantly start over from scratch all the time.
I'm still in the exploring phase. I'll date even the worst of synastry just for the sake of the learning experience. If I were strictly dating for long term fulfillment I would use my knowledge to filter out aspects I know won't work. I do have a few required placements of a permanent partner.
IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2989
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted March 03, 2015 01:22 AM
quote:
Originally posted by babybull82:
Ok, but come on you guys mean to tell me if you met a guy/girl and got their deets and discovered you guys had a bunch of Uranus DW (I'm talking opps and squares) in syanstry, you wouldn't at least give it a second thought? I mean I guess if a person is ok with something being short lived than by all means go for it. But if you're like me and ready for something more stable it may just stop you in your tracks, just saying. I'm not afraid of hard aspects when it comes to other planets, just Uranus in particular because I know first hand how it plays out sometimes in relationships (Aquarius descendant right here) and I'd like to avoid having to constantly start over from scratch all the time.
Uranian contacts make me extremely nervous too. I have one hard aspect - oh, but it's exact - with my new guy and in a synastry chart that has a lot of squares, this is the only one that makes me want to run screaming. Venus square Saturn? No problem! Bring it on! But moon square Uranus, with no double whammy, and I'm gravely concerned at this point. I'm trying to reassure myself that we have enough Saturn and moon sextile moon to compensate, but it's hard to overlook that aspect. I have it natally, though. Just with a really wide orb.
I live in fear of the day this aspect makes itself known.
IP: Logged |
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