posted March 28, 2015 03:37 PM            

My husband's SATURN-SUN is 3º trine my SUN-PLUTO. But he doesn't have a very peaceful relationship with his own Saturnine energy: complicated, bad relationship with his father (a narcissist) as well as a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't approach to others needing guidance and support. He'll believe he's bending over backwards for you, when 90% of it is criticism and reminders of how you're never measuring up to his standard -- which is pretty wonky, besides. So he projects a 'live and let live' attitude (SATURN-SUN in late GEM conjunct PRIAPUS-NESSUS) which isn't entirely true, because he has higher standards than that of which he's truly aware.

So our marriage has been complicated in the sense that I've experienced this dichotomy up close and personally throughout it, as well as seen auxiliary relationships -- friendships and semi-business associations -- go up in flames as a result of his tendency to go to war with his own rescuer nature. It's as if he'll tell you how to do things (as he sees them) but expects you to follow it to the letter. Then you don't, and he makes it known you're acting against his wishes, but he doesn't oust you, so long as you're trying, (genuinely, according to his view) and can make it up to him.

So at the heart of his personality is an intense need to control. He wants to remind those he cares for that he's caring for them, and expects appreciation and compliance. Yet, remember, it's Gemini. He gets away with it because of charisma and a laid back attitude. But it wears.

I think it's no surprise then that we have a SATURN/PLUTO dual aspect -- which has some merit, with his being 7 years my senior. My SATURN is conjunct his PLUTO (1º) with my PLUTO (2º conjunct my SUN-BML) trine his SUN-SATURN (3º).

Despite our tendency to go to war every few years, we both know we're in this forever -- or until I get tired of his need for control, and he can no longer accept my terms. But with how many times we've each contemplated getting out of it, seeing that a decade has now passed, it seems likely we're truly both in it for long haul, despite certain issues that appear and reappear.

Of course, when it's smooth sailing, the trine shines through, and we easily agree upon the more major issues that come up within a marriage (especially regarding the kiddo) never truly tire of each other's company or presence, are supportive (or at least present) in times of duress (even if he's critical about it) and have much more in common than we don't.

SATURN always binds, and there's no doubt reasons for it. I think the best way to approach them is to try and remember how we can make the journey the best we can for each other, avoiding the pitfalls of being critical, controlling, and holding each other to standards to which we don't even measure up ourselves. Nobody likes a semi-constant reminder that they're not cutting it with you and are always lacking in some area. Many simply stop trying -- either with you, or in general, depending upon their mental composition and personal mettle.

posted March 28, 2015 04:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Great stuff, Helix, I totally agree with you on the importance of sign/house interchanged symbolism and geometrical connections. Great synastry as well, many DWs, tight classical contacts, something that looks like a powerful cardinal cross, I'm sure the angles complete the picture. Great input, thanks again!

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Thank you for your kind words!
And I know you are one of those people who agree with me on geometrical pattern completion.

I might also add, that I was surprised to see how many Sun-Sun (by sign, not degree) inconjunctions I encountered.But it might also be due to the Venus positions. The Venus-Sun opposition is pretty frequent. So one can have Aries Sun, Pisces Venus that opposes their partner's Virgo Sun.

Since I came in contact with a lot of these people, it was interesting to see that they had Mars-Venus-Moon contacts in their natals like I do. There is no coincidence in life, I guess.

I'll put up some statistics once I have studied 500 couples, haha.

posted March 28, 2015 04:54 PM            

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Originally posted by HelixID:
Thank you for your kind words!
And I know you are one of those people who agree with me on geometrical pattern completion.

I might also add, that I was surprised to see how many Sun-Sun (by sign, not degree) inconjunctions I encountered.But it might also be due to the Venus positions. The Venus-Sun opposition is pretty frequent. So one can have Aries Sun, Pisces Venus that opposes their partner's Virgo Sun.

Since I came in contact with a lot of these people, it was interesting to see that they had Mars-Venus-Moon contacts in their natals like I do. There is no coincidence in life, I guess.

I'll put up some statistics once I have studied 500 couples, haha.

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I would love that! Especially since we share these core views. I'm very fond of your description of modality connects same values, different expressions/ elements connect different values, same expression - you said that, didn't you??? That is a classic quote in my mind, when it comes to explaining geometry! And I have also noticed the high prevalence of Mars/Saturn and the Moon/Venus opp in couples wow I'm impressed with that!

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

posted March 28, 2015 05:11 PM            

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
I would love that! Especially since we share these core views. I'm very fond of your description of modality connects same values, different expressions/ elements connect different values, same expression - you said that, didn't you??? That is a classic quote in my mind, when it comes to explaining geometry! And I have also noticed the high prevalence of Mars/Saturn and the Moon/Venus opp in couples wow I'm impressed with that!

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posted March 29, 2015 10:39 AM            

For good or worse...

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The Venus/Saturn = Descendant combination in Maria's chart perhaps kept them together for long. (22 years of marriage)
http://astrology-love-romance.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/divorce-of-schwarzeneggers.html

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posted March 29, 2015 11:13 AM            

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:

So our marriage has been complicated in the sense that I've experienced this dichotomy up close and personally throughout it, as well as seen auxiliary relationships -- friendships and semi-business associations -- go up in flames as a result of his tendency to go to war with his own rescuer nature. It's as if he'll tell you how to do things (as he sees them) but expects you to follow it to the letter. Then you don't, and he makes it known you're acting against his wishes, but he doesn't oust you, so long as you're trying, (genuinely, according to his view) and can make it up to him.

So at the heart of his personality is an intense need to control. He wants to remind those he cares for that he's caring for them, and expects appreciation and compliance. Yet, remember, it's Gemini. He gets away with it because of charisma and a laid back attitude. But it wears.

I think it's no surprise then that we have a SATURN/PLUTO dual aspect -- which has some merit, with his being 7 years my senior. My SATURN is conjunct his PLUTO (1º) with my PLUTO (2º conjunct my SUN-BML) trine his SUN-SATURN (3º).

Despite our tendency to go to war every few years, we both know we're in this forever -- or until I get tired of his need for control, and he can no longer accept my terms. But with how many times we've each contemplated getting out of it, seeing that a decade has now passed, it seems likely we're truly both in it for long haul, despite certain issues that appear and reappear.

Of course, when it's smooth sailing, the trine shines through, and we easily agree upon the more major issues that come up within a marriage (especially regarding the kiddo) never truly tire of each other's company or presence, are supportive (or at least present) in times of duress (even if he's critical about it) and have much more in common than we don't.

SATURN always binds, and there's no doubt reasons for it. I think the best way to approach them is to try and remember how we can make the journey the best we can for each other, avoiding the pitfalls of being critical, controlling, and holding each other to standards to which we don't even measure up ourselves. Nobody likes a semi-constant reminder that they're not cutting it with you and are always lacking in some area. Many simply stop trying -- either with you, or in general, depending upon their mental composition and personal mettle.

At the end of the day, there's a reason for SATURN-based relationships, which really do take a very long time to sort through. That in and of itself may account for the fact they're regularly long-term or even lifelong in their duration.

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It all goes back to our own Saturn being positively integrated in the natals.

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

posted March 29, 2015 11:55 AM            

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Venus is inconjunct Saturn in his natal chart, too, so this aspect activated the existing 'to say goodbye to your lover, but...'. Her Venus is conjunct Saturn. So they share the aspect of the official marriage (and the disadvantages of it).

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posted April 03, 2015 08:17 AM            

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

posted April 03, 2015 10:23 AM            

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Sun sq Saturn is a good one, and Saturn to MC/IC. Saturn to Jupiter Neptune could be difficult, but not necessarily. The most problematic could be the unaspected composite Saturn.

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posted April 07, 2015 10:57 AM            

Just for study, I had Saturn Square Mercury with my ex (both sides), and think about 2 people that didn't agree with each other!!

posted April 07, 2015 12:19 PM            

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Originally posted by DaniPepper87:
Hi LeeLoo2014!!!

Just for study, I had Saturn Square Mercury with my ex (both sides), and think about 2 people that didn't agree with each other!!

Astrology is interesting....

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Hi, Dani
No aspect to Mercury from Saturn in the natals? I have the sq so I don't mind "square" people

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I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

LeeLoo's Esotericorner

posted April 07, 2015 04:55 PM            

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Hi, Dani
No aspect to Mercury from Saturn in the natals? I have the sq so I don't mind "square" people

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