posted October 07, 2015 04:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
wowza....

Well if that isn't a clear signal from the universe for what's meant to be goin' down...:-/

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posted October 07, 2015 05:14 PM            

The reason I ask is because something about it reminds me a lot of where my husband and I were at -- at first. I'd always said someone would have to drag me down the aisle, kicking and screaming -- meaning they'd better be DAMNED CLEAR about what they wanted.

My husband was curiously always the first one to hint at it, or bring it up, or introduce the conversation. Then FINALLY, when I at last got on board, he flipped out. I was 'pressuring' him. He 'wasn't ready for it'. He 'never said that's what he wanted'.

Backpedal, backpedal, backpedal.

So, okay. I dropped it. Entirely. For at least a year.

Then My Dream Job appeared -- or, what I thought was my dream job. It's what I felt I needed -- what was missing -- to secure me firmly in place as a responsible, long-suffering adult of the human race. Plus, I was having my first Saturn Return.

I adored my boss; he reminds me of my father: a legitimate zen master working as a poker director of a casino, so his wife can run her dojo. How cool is that? 'Don't chase the money; treat others as they deserve to be treated, and the money will come.' He was amazing. I wanted to work for him -- but not so much in an environment that was wrecking my voice, (horrendous air quality, and, having to go back to the smoking rooms where the high-rollers were). And he knew I was better than that -- and far more qualified.

I began spending my time at the casino where my husband was a professional poker player in part because it had A/C, it was summer, and I could write quietly on one of the unused tables. I was oddly welcomed. I made friends. I loved the hustle, bustle, and energy of the place.

When a position for an assistant to the poker director was created, I was all over it. Then, my heart just about melted when I found out he'd created it for me. See, I used to be a bang-up assistant, but I've got some really bad karma that's amassed from experiences throughout my twenties where I'd been taken advantage of, and lost a LOT of faith in the corporate and even commercial world -- we'll just say that.

But I could see it all having been worthwhile, for this job. The money was fantastic; I'd be working the same hours as my husband, and be a truly valued member of the administrative team -- correspondence, quality checks, and general PA jazz. All I had to do was get a casino work permit.

And one thing led so constantly to the other making that seem like the ONE thing I COULD NOT do -- thanks to an error on my birth certificate that nobody had corrected. But if I could legally change my name, I could issue the permit to that name, and amend my birth certificate. But getting that legal name change was going to be a nightmare.

At the height of the frustration, my husband casually offers, 'well, we could just get married.' I figured, okay, we were already technically engaged; he'd surprised me in Vegas and proposed, a year before. I never asked why a date wasn't set, and neither of us pressed it.

I thought he was serious, too.

So, we come back from Ventura, make the rounds -- to the social security office, then the DMV, then the local police department (for the permit) -- and, finally, into work. We're getting out of the car when he shakes his head and says, 'you'd better get this job; I can't imagine another man who'd marry a woman so that she could get the job she wanted.'

My heart ...

I just ....

He was walking a bit ahead of me, and I just about felt like I was going to collapse right there on the asphalt in the parking lot. My head was spinning. I couldn't believe what he'd just said. Coworkers were passing by both of us before I had a chance to even process my thoughts enough to articulate speech. We both clocked in; he was called to a game, and I reported to my boss -- which, incidentally, wasn't even the boss, or job, I'd been initially offered. In the month of chaos, a LOT had changed -- resulting in the original position never even being created, and a watered down 'retail' version, for three new hires, at minimum wage -- was created instead. A great opportunity for someone fresh out of college -- not someone looking to establish a career.

Yeah. So, there's that.

I was still stunned. The words were 'out of my mouth' (through text) before I could stop them.

We could always just get it annulled. It'd been 24 hours. The job wasn't even the same job, and the name change -- didn't even take.

So, if the WHOLE BLOODY PURPOSE FOR GETTING MARRIED AT ALL was essentially moot, then WHY WERE WE STAYING MARRIED?

He said I was 'being dramatic'. Frankly, I didn't know WHAT I was. As I'd said, that whole winter and some of the spring is just absent from my memory -- or I was absent from everything.

What's the point of this?

DON'T GET MARRIED FOR ANY OTHER REASON BESIDES YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIVES TOGETHER DEDICATED TO YOUR LOVE.

That's it. Period. Nothing else. No other reasons. Don't do it.

We had to both come around to what we have; the first few years were hell. Hell. The complicated friendship I still had with my boyfriend kept me sane -- and I began therapy.

But looking back, it was ALL for the wrong reasons. We've looked at each other a hundred times and gone, ' ... WTF?' and asked if we just flat made a mistake, or we should consider that we're just not right for each other after all, or what, exactly.

Maybe we were always meant to be polyamorous -- to have a home and family together, and to love each other, and be in love as well -- but also, with other people; to specifically love other people, too.

I think that's where the 'forsaking most others' of our vows really comes from. We wanted to be honest, and we had no idea what the future might hold. Lo and behold, this is what it's become.

We're happy. Now. But we took a long, crazy, roundabout way of getting there -- that's for sure.

Be absolutely certain about your boyfriend's issues with marriage. DON'T LET HIM BACKPEDAL. And -- for God's sake -- don't look at marriage as anything that would 'save' your relationship, or be some sort of destination. It SO isn't. Rather, it's a WHOLE other kind of beginning.

posted October 07, 2015 05:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
Ahh yes, I imagine Jupiter helps with that! Did it also touch your composite at that time?

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Yes Jupiter and Juno are a couple and Jupiter has do with the law.

Transit JUNO was on his JUPITER exact
Transit JUPITER was on my JUNO under 1d.

SO actually it was a double whammy.

COMPOSITE:

TRANSIT SUN was right on our composite JUNO-NN the day we married.

Transit MOON was conjuncting by 1d or less our composite PLUTO-HORUS-TNP-POSEIDON.

ADD:

Further transit JUNO was on our composite 7th house.

posted October 07, 2015 06:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Yes Jupiter and Juno are a couple and Jupiter has do with the law.

Transit JUNO was on his JUPITER exact
Transit JUPITER was on my JUNO under 1d.

SO actually it was a double whammy.

COMPOSITE:

TRANSIT SUN was right on our composite JUNO-NN the day we married.

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Composite juno-NN conjunct tSUN!!!

quote:

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Transit MOON was conjuncting by 1d or less our composite PLUTO-HORUS-TNP-POSEIDON.

ADD:

Further transit JUNO was on our composite 7th house.

We also had a lot of stuff happening with our solar returns that pointed to this..

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I think Juno is the one to watch undoubtedly... the tMOON on your Pluto thing is prettty epic too!

posted October 07, 2015 06:45 PM            

Right?

... Right?

Although, as my mother once put it: why would it show? Did I get married? Did I REALLY get married?

So, uh, we immediately notice the 1º30 conjunction of pcSUN and pcHATTA -- and the 2º conjunction of pcLIDDELL-pcMERC. Okay, it's not the worst, but it's ... getting embarrassing ....

tGRAVES on pcMOON? Ouch.

tMOON ... on pcJUNO! HAH! Success! Finally! There's ---

... oh, it's out of orb. tMOON is technically 15º, and pcJUNO is 8º. Wow. Way out of orb.

And it's on the pcJUNO/pcLEWISCARROLL instead, 1º. Wow. Okay. ... Still looking.

tCHIRON-tNEPTUNE on pcMOON. Pain? Disillusionment? 'This isn't at all what I signed up for'? Followed by growth and healing in a way never thought possible?

YES! That's a definite YES!

Turns out we also married under the tPLUTO-tSUN conjunction. Well, THAT's familiar to me. Not aspecting my SUN, though.

In fact, the only really thing notable is that our progressed composite has a helluva Yod:

12H SUN-HATTA to 7H SNODE and 5H MARS-MOON-ANTEROS, with the SUN at the apex. With, y'know, MADHATTER squaring the NODES.

Jeeeeeeeeezy creezy.

Well, there's no point in looking back at it all now, really. Can't exactly say forewarned is forearmed. More like, 'karma is a something-something, sometimes', and oh, is there ever a thing called 'destiny'.

Oh, hey. Where's tDESTINN, I wonder ....

Aw, hell. tDESTINN was travelling with tMOON. And it's right there on the JUNO/LEWISCARROLL, so forth and so on. But on my natal LILITH, and his VESTA. Which would turn out to be 'the way out' of the gathering gloom. pcDESTINN is interesting, too; tMARS is 2º conjunct it.

posted October 07, 2015 06:51 PM            

Though I don't necessarily think one person's experience will play out exactly the same as another person's.

This is a little early for me to be worrying about marriage with him, so that's actually not the point of this thread haha. I don't really want to get ahead of myself on this topic, or I'm actually going to freak out way prematurely! I'm not trying to predict what will come next with him at all, but was inspired to check out our composite given some awesome posts here.

I just noticed that he and I are a lot closer and more open to a new level of commitment than we used to be. I'm not more "in" the marriage thing than he is, it's just really sweet to be able to be expressing to each other that we're crazy for each other and that we both secretly think we want some cool future things together even though we both (like I noted) have nerves about traditional marriage.

So hopefully neither him nor I freaks out, regardless of the baby steps in these young stages of this phase!! My gut reaction is "yes" , and I believe he's my soul mate for sure, but this is not a serious conversation yet, I just noticed it coincides with some cool transitness. I don't want to predict much yet about what might happen to throw it off or commit us, but it's fun to see what is going on right this moment.

@hypatia, how cool!! That definitely sounds like commitment transit stuff...With all the juno/ jupiter and 7H stuff it was screaming MARRIAGE!

Yeah, Juno is definitely the topic of the day.

posted October 07, 2015 07:11 PM            

Okay. I had one more theory. And ... it might've worked.

tMOON conjunct cSUN (0º)
tSUN conjunct cSNODE (2º)
tJUNO opposite cSUN (0º)
tVALENTINE trine cJUNO (0º)
tKARMA conjunct cKARMA (2º)
tLEWISCARROLL conjunct cLEWISCARROLL (2º)
tALICE conjunct cALICE (2º)
tVENUS conjunct cMARS (5º)
tSATURN conjunct cKARMA (3º)

tMADHATTER conjunct tLEWISCARROLL conjunct tLIDDELL (3º) -- all on cLEWISCARROLL

tJUNO was even making a T-Square with tSUN and tMOON, interesting enough. The tSUN was right on my KARMA and my boyfriend's SNODE -- our 'Karma Day'. The tSUN was also near my husband's PSYCHE, and the tMOON near his EROS.

tOSIRIS was conjunct tCHIRON, on my boyfriend's ALICE-ISIS. tISIS was on his MOON -- and the cCHIRON.

It was the day things really changed, which we considered the beginning of our real relationship.

It was also on that day that I finally, actually and truly, felt married. I wasn't 'holding out' for anything; I wasn't silently or unconsciously waiting. Everything was finally right, and I was happy. Truly happy.

The composite I'm referencing, by the way, is our multi-composite: my husband, my boyfriend, and myself.

So, for me at least, it looks as if the 'JUNO transits' didn't hit in the normal fashion -- or the usual ways. But it did make itself known on my 'true wedding day' -- so to speak.

posted October 07, 2015 07:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
Ha, thanks @auby! I appreciate the advice...

Though I don't necessarily think one person's experience will play out exactly the same as another person's.

This is a little early for me to be worrying about marriage with him, so that's actually not the point of this thread haha. I don't really want to get ahead of myself on this topic, or I'm actually going to freak out way prematurely! I'm not trying to predict what will come next with him at all, but was inspired to check out our composite given some awesome posts here.

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And that was a great idea. It's definitely illuminating -- when you know what you're looking for. The distinct lack of tJUNO involvement was beginning to worry me -- until I realised I was missing a big piece of the portrait.

Also, traditional marriage doesn't have to be an option. Don't ever limit yourself, and be sure to talk out any and all concerns.

posted October 07, 2015 08:20 PM            

First time:
1. Transit URANUS was conjuncting my MOON by 1d the first time I conceived.

posted October 07, 2015 08:44 PM            

1. Transit OSIRIS was conjuncting our composite ISIS.

2. Transit VENUS was conjuncting composite MARS-MERCURY in the 8th.

3. Transit SUN was on our composite VALENTINE.

4.Transit VALENTINE was on our Composite VENUS.

5. Transit PSYCHE was conjuncting composite CUPIDO! which trines composite Mars conjunct Venus transit

So lots of couple transits activated day of conception, interesting...

Mars-Venus
Isis-Osiris
Psyche-Cupido

posted October 11, 2015 01:09 AM            

T. Sun conjunct composite Vertex and Chiron
T. Ceres opposition that point, conjunct our c.Uranus
T. Juno trine composite Moon, Mercury, and Pluto, conjunct Vertex, opposition Neptune
t. Moon conjunct comp moon, mercury, and Pluto, trine vertex
t. Sun trine moon, square North Node exact

Composite North Node was aspected thusly by transiting planets:
Uranus conjunct by 0'02 degrees
jupiter conjunct by 1°
An opposition from Saturn, 2°

Not surprised by any of this. His Jupiter is conjunct my NN, our composite Jupiter is conjunct his NN, my daughter and him their composite chart Jupiter is on the Aries point which is where him and I have a composite NN.... lots of Jupiter NN stuff.