posted October 20, 2015 10:50 PM            

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Originally posted by LilithEarthAngel:
Aubyanne, I fully understand what you're saying and I can agree. I do come to these points of realisation..
Finding a way to delude myself and holding on to the fantasy is my problem, it is very hard for me to separate from as it gives me hope, meaning, faith and a sense of belonging, especially with my venus/neptune opp, its a constant push and pull, between fantasy and reality, not just in this situation but in myself too, fantasy is beautiful and blinding, reality seems harsh and devastating, but then it can work in opposite, where reality makes me feel strong, battling through the ******** , and fantasy makes me feel ill. I need to learn to find balance and blend both opposing energies, is this possible? or am I totally doomed. Shifting from fantasy to reality and back again is really messing me up. Might I also add that Neptune is in my 11th, Venus in my 5th.

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you're definitely not totally doomed. In fact, you're well on your way to resolving the difficulty if you've come so far as to recognize it. Have compassion for yourself and find concrete reasons to believe you can bring that kind of bliss into your reality in a balanced way. You can do it! It can be beautiful! And remember... art is real. Dreams are real. It's ok to be soothed by them, so give yourself some leeway that way, and be gentle with yourself.

I agree that your most important connection must be with yourself

posted October 20, 2015 10:55 PM            

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Originally posted by LilithEarthAngel:
Aubyanne, I fully understand what you're saying and I can agree. I do come to these points of realisation..
Finding a way to delude myself and holding on to the fantasy is my problem, it is very hard for me to separate from as it gives me hope, meaning, faith and a sense of belonging, especially with my venus/neptune opp, its a constant push and pull, between fantasy and reality, not just in this situation but in myself too, fantasy is beautiful and blinding, reality seems harsh and devastating, but then it can work in opposite, where reality makes me feel strong, battling through the ******** , and fantasy makes me feel ill. I need to learn to find balance and blend both opposing energies, is this possible? or am I totally doomed. Shifting from fantasy to reality and back again is really messing me up. Might I also add that Neptune is in my 11th, Venus in my 5th.

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I really appreciate you being so honest, and downright brave in acknowledging this. It's NOT easy to admit that you need a degree of fantasy, and the impossible, or the incredible to keep from feeling the harsh, drab, colourless nature of reality.

I get it. Ohh, do I ever.

But the truth is that, while it may become your 'life's work', it is so necessary. You may start by taking greater interest in the simple beauties around you. If you have a beloved pet, just watch them sometime, as they enjoy life. Watch the gentle swaying of trees; the effortless flight of birds. Just look up into the sky sometime, and take in the vastness -- the fact that, when looking straight up, there's nothing preventing us from literally 'looking up' into deep space. It's there! Way, way beyond our visual capacity, so, yes, we have to imagine it. But it's there.

posted October 20, 2015 10:57 PM            

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Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
you're definitely not totally doomed. In fact, you're well on your way to resolving the difficulty if you've come so far as to recognize it.

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posted October 21, 2015 12:19 AM            

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:

Here's my best advice. Stop fantasising and acting like something is happening when there's no evidence of it outside of your malleable memory and fantastic thoughts. Get real.

If you want a relationship with this person, pursue it. If he's not interested, then drop it and move on. But attaching so many -- albeit lovely -- ideas like, 'believing in love when he's around' -- is dangerous, and downright foolish.

If you want to attach so many ideals to someone of flesh and blood, make it you.

I suggest you stop saying 'we' because this is hiding behind what is likely a fabrication until further notice. It also allows you to continue nurturing this 'dream relationship' as opposed to taking a chance on an actual relationship.

Until you're really connecting in reality, you have nothing. Really. Nothing. I know that seems harsh, and blame the post-tSATURN-MOON me for being a cold shower and parade-rain, but I speak from hard experience on that one.

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Yes, m'am. I swear, my Capricorn Moon has this same discussion with my Pisces Venus all the time!