posted October 21, 2015 02:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenaia:
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this :\ he sounds awful.

Like most cowards of his breed, unless you specifically look him in the eye with a stern look and say, "stop." every single time he attempts this, he's just going to keep harassing you. Idiots like these don't see your discomfort as a cue to stop, they see it as potential to escalate because even though you're weirded out, you're not "saying anything", so in their mind you become perfect "potential victim bait". This is their disgusting train of thought. Once you tell him to firmly knock it off, pretend like nothing ever happened when you're around him. He'll feel safe and won't try to excommunicate you out of the group. Once this is done though, you need to slowly but surely start branching out for a new group.

The first things that stick out to me in your chart is your Saturn/SN conjunction and Chiron conjunct the IC. Two extremely karmic placements. Did you feel neglected by both of your parents emotionally when you were younger? Like your intellectual needs were always dismissed as petty, and it led you to inevitably rebel against their school of thought (Gemini)?

[b]EDIT Hey you're going through t.Chiron conjunct n.Mars! So am I! Actually double the Chiron transits now that you mention it with t.Saturn opp. n.Chiron as well. I wrote about my experiences with Chiron/Mars in this thread: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/232011.html [/B]

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Oh geeze, the last thing ----

Yes. My parents never got me growing up. I was bad in school and could never be good enough, because frankly, I didn't want to do school anyway. I wanted to sing and dance (I'm a singer by profession now), and I wanted to make music and paint pictures and write in my journals. They repeatedly told me growing up, especially when I was the lead in a musical or something, that I needed to focus on what was important: my grades. I am grateful on one hand because they did help me do better in school and get into a good college, but I have issues with trusting my own success and work ethic all the time now. Friends tell me I work way too hard - I feel like I am always slacking off. Basically, I never feel like I'm doing well at my responsibilities.

Then, my Dad lost his brother and turned into an alcoholic - he never spoke to us unless he'd had something to drink. (Then I would realize quickly he was drunk, because he was suddenly telling me he was proud of me, etc.) He would go weeks without speaking to us sometimes. I am very used to silent treatment being given to me for no reason I can think of. He also refused to hug me most of the time growing up. He wasn't physically abusive - but he was completely emotionally abusive and was so physically distant I envied my friends with their cuddly dads.

My Mom, then, started an affair with a family friend that lasted many many years. I was closer to her, but always sensed that she was nervous and secretive. I still don't always feel like I know who my mom is. We get along well, but I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out she had a huge double life going on. (She did, anyway).

Parents were not a happy thing for me growing up, to say the least. I never fully rebelled - if anything, I tried hard to constantly win their approval and even though NOW in my life I do feel like I have it (I know they are proud of what I've done for my career)... the seeds of self doubt are very hard to unearth.

posted October 21, 2015 03:11 PM            

Sun/Jupiter in 12th and Moon in 8th.

Neptune also sits on the Moon in 8th.

Pluto shares a house with the Moon

But 1st;

I find it most fascinating. And often very disturbing to see that Neptune influenced people-though being very gentle souls themselves- often in many cases experience the worst violence.

I often see Pisces energy as being the sacrificial lamb or martyr. Not likely to see the promised land , but will sacrifice him/herself so that others can see it.(I think I read somewhere that even the fictitious composite character "Moses" himself, fit the Pisces archetype )

Most times however,I also find that the Pisces/Neptune/12th house individual,may have some problems with boundaries i.e knowing where they stop and others begin.

Many times they have people "force" themselves on them or impose on them in some way. Or they(secretly) impose themselves on others by obsessing or being addicted to them.

Naturally, Neptune is very watery in essence and boundaries are very hard to define.

The not so great side could also be that many times people may project themselves to these souls; for good or ill.

So the more malevolent ones may interpret the passive energy of Pisces as "weakness" and abuse them etc.

The Sun in 12th is very similar to the energy of those who have Neptune/Pisces Sun- because the individual is seeking to define themselves(Sun) through transcendental experiences(12th).

So at times this may mean that one may not see things as being truly what they are.Or be trapped in the illusion of seeing things in their highest point etc.

Moon in 8th often has painful personal experiences that deepen the sense of feeling.

The square of Moon and Mercury aspect to Neptune ,adds a spiritual aspect of forgiveness and trying to understand the "divine" message in all these experiences.

This does tend to soften the rather suspicious,intense and sharp edge of unforgiving Pluto affiliated 8th house.

Its interesting that you experienced this unfortunate incident involving a clear abuse of friendship.As 8th house is often about manipulation,abuse and overt(covert) use of power.

Now this is obviously not an easy personal placement to have as deep psychological experiences are often part and parcel with it.

It also sort of guarantees the difficulty in getting close to anyone.

But ironically enough, it is often this physical solid closeness(opposite is the 2nd house of affection) that one is yearning for.

The assault was not about him. It was really about you...

Pluto in 8th also speaks of profound experiences that are related to the 8th house; you may unearth people's secrets very easily or have a "talent" of being able to uncover their darker motives.

This position of Pluto lets you see the ugliness of people; what they fear, what they hide and whom they pretend to be. Really deep stuff.

Now with all this in toe, it could be difficult to maintain a happy go lucky attitude. But that Jupiter in 12th does help.

Jupiter helps in the moving on and wants you to forgive and even look at things from a more philosophical 'its all part of the growth process' point of view(Neptune /Mercury also adds to this).

This is all good and well. But I think that you must be aware of your own power.

Not necessarily the power that you have over others. But the power of insight. The insight to see into the sinister mechanisms of others.

With your Moon in 8th, it is likely that you won't have much of a choice but to be "next" to the ugly truth.

How you transform yourself from that "knowing" will be telling. But with Moon in 8th, the transformation is likely to never be complete,.

You will feel that -at-least emotionally- you are going through many 'deaths'.

How you felt about something yesterday can be completely transformed and different about how you feel about the same thing today.

You will always come out on the other side with a deeper insight on your own emotional psyche-through these uneasy and often unnerving experiences.

One day, I would think that you would be of great assistance to others in dealing with emotional baggage.

This position is not for the faint of heart and because Jupiter-Sun conjunct is in 12th, I see a teacher within you.

You will teach others about the self- because of the insight that you have gained through sometimes painful experiences.

posted October 22, 2015 04:27 AM            

The challenge is then... who can I trust? I get moments of 'negative intentions' from almost everyone I am close to. I already struggle with trust. My SO and I have broken up countless times because I believed him to be doing/saying things that were unacceptable. I was wrong each time (we're back together but he had to really prove himself to me). Now, whenever I have moments of fear and doubt... how do I know if it's just that - fear/ doubt, and not my INTUITION telling me someone is secretly harboring evil intentions?

That's what is pretty difficult for me at this point. I know what I've been through, I just don't know how to overcome these really overwhelming placements. I had no idea I was so susceptible to be prey or taken advantage of, as you're describing.

Also, how do I KNOW if I'm keeping the approrpiate boundaries with people I am close to ? To me, I don't get too close.. but maybe to others I do?

posted October 22, 2015 05:44 AM            

I have it sextiling my Sun and very widely conjunct Venus too... I do notice it closely squares Uranus. :-/ That makes me a little nervous, should I watch my back?

posted October 22, 2015 01:52 PM            

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Originally posted by Orange:
Cappi, i wonder how much of what you said is only in your head. Your chart is not difficult. You do have a mercury - neptune conjunction which gives rich imagination and moon in the 8 th house tends to feel things in excess...

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How much of what I said about the Virgo guy?

Definitely not in my head. He has for sure been aggressive, and pushed the limits for me. Not in any way something I've been imagining, and been going on for many weeks now.

posted October 22, 2015 01:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Orange:
Cappi, i wonder how much of what you said is only in your head. Your chart is not difficult. You do have a mercury - neptune conjunction which gives rich imagination and moon in the 8 th house tends to feel things in excess...

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posted October 25, 2015 09:49 AM            

I finally just now texted him that I want to just be friends. He was constantly making comments to all our friends and me that he was going to 'sweep me off my feet', and whenever I would turn things down, would joke about how I better not have another boyfriend, and so on... He started referring to me as 'sweetheart' on group chats with our friends on whatsapp (in a condescending way, like 'sweetheart, I was referring to this other thing' but talking to everyone else normally).

I am frustrated bc I'm not sure if we'll all stay friends, but I was sure to tell him in no uncertain terms that I JUST want to be friends. We will see how he takes it (this was in a private message to him after the string of group chats).

posted October 25, 2015 09:51 AM            

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Originally posted by theunknown:
Partially neptunians get caught in bad situations because of complacency. Expressing love and tolerance without some levels of discernment is problematic.

I think you were born to learn about drawing boundaries, teaching spirituality and not dissolving the healthy line of when affection for others is harming yourself. Self-care, so to speak

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THIS.

Sheesh, you hit the nail on the head.

Yes, a lot of what I've learned as my confidence has grown over the past year is that I need to be sure to draw the boundaries, and not care so much if they hurt peoples' feelings or what they think of me after.