posted November 01, 2015 08:59 AM            

As if one needs to reconcile problems within the context of a smothering sense of "but we must end up agreeing, somehow!" The tighter the orb, the bigger the issue this seems to be.

posted November 01, 2015 09:13 AM            

https://xkcd.com/386/

I derive little pleasure from "winning" arguments with cleverness. It's not a competition, it's a matter of what is true and what isn't. I feel like the other person MUST be made to understand. There's nothing I hate more than "well, let's just agree to disagree". NO. I WILL NEVER AGREE TO DISAGREE. Clarity is clarity, truth is truth, there's no middle ground. No matter how trivial the subject matter.

I can well imagine it would play out in a similar way in a composite... though obviously in a natal chart it probably has quite a bit to do with ego.

posted November 01, 2015 10:43 AM            

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Yes, I could see that. After all the identity is connected to how you communicate your thoughts, and if there is a real disagreement, it might feel like the whole "reason" or identity of the union itself is being negated or threatened.

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posted November 01, 2015 10:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Petronilla:
I can't help you with the composite, exactly, but I've certainly found it to be true in my natal chart I have a tight Sun-Mercury conjunction and this cartoon pretty much describes my personality:

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LOL...cute cartoon

quote:

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Originally posted by Petronilla:
I feel like the other person MUST be made to understand. There's nothing I hate more than "well, let's just agree to disagree". NO. I WILL NEVER AGREE TO DISAGREE. Clarity is clarity, truth is truth, there's no middle ground. No matter how trivial the subject matter.

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Well not everyone with sun-Mercury is this way so let's agree to disagree?

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*evil laugh*

No but seriously, thanks, that gives me something to chew on...

quote:

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Originally posted by Petronilla:
Perhaps in a composite chart it might indicate a fear within the relationship that anything short of absolute clarity and harmony (in communication) would threaten the very existence of that relationship?

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posted November 01, 2015 11:02 AM            

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Originally posted by DopGang:
I don't know about the astrology but I hate that.

The worst that I remember was mercury conjunct Saturn in comp.

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It sucks.

Mercury-Saturn sounds bad...

Come to think of it I strongly dislike Mercury afflictions in composite. I know they are just challenges to help us evolve. But I have a heavily afflicted Mercury in my natal, so I just flounder in these situations rather than evolving. Just..."oh, here I am dead on the water again...what a surprise. "

posted November 01, 2015 11:07 AM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
But I have a heavily afflicted Mercury in my natal, so I just flounder in these situations rather than evolving. Just..."oh, here I am dead on the water again...what a surprise. "

I'm laughing but I guess it's not funny...

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posted November 01, 2015 11:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I think I'm starting to see a pattern, where arguments feel extra prickly and "loaded."

As if one needs to reconcile problems within the context of a smothering sense of "but we [b]must end up agreeing, somehow!" The tighter the orb, the bigger the issue this seems to be.

Any thoughts?[/B]

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I added, "Me, too" above, but this part - I actually don't need for us to agree, just be civil to each other. With my sister, where we experienced real problems, she assumed that I expected certain things from her, and then just told people as fact, when she couldn't have been further from the truth. I didn't expect her to change a thing about her feelings in that regard, I just wanted my own feelings to be respected, too.

posted November 01, 2015 11:18 AM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
Me, too.

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posted November 01, 2015 11:19 AM            

Mine is afflicted in natal. One of my biggest issues is I could be some heated discussion and, bam, I'm done. I sometimes just IMMEDIATELY shut up and I'm done. LOL Other people are dumbfounded. Usually mad because it cuts off their argument also. I admit, it's a HORRIBLE trait. So, I always continue to stretch myself and grow.

posted November 01, 2015 12:24 PM            

About arguments, well, you know me well enough. I think we're similar in that way. That's why if someone says that I don't let things ago. Well it depends. I can drop things like they didn't exist in the first place. It just depends.

Now, on topic, I have to agree with Ceri. Short and simple but well put I think.
I like comparing comp to natal too. I think there's great impacts to be found there. How the relationship as its own identity affects us personally.
You know how some people can't stand their partner but can't push themselves to leave. I wonder sometimes what those would look like comp to natal.

posted November 01, 2015 02:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Yes, I could see that. After all the identity is connected to how you communicate your thoughts, and if there is a real disagreement, it might feel like the whole "reason" or identity of the union itself is being negated or threatened.

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posted November 01, 2015 03:04 PM              

Well actually I think it would be like that:

I can`t stand my partner, but somehow we make it work, and I weirdly enough like the way our relationship is:

bad synastry (of course that is generalistic, bad and good are stupid terms) - good composite - strong natal to composite

I REALLY love my partner and think he is such a wonderful person, and yet when we`re together, it never seems to work out and yet, and yet, I feel so attached to him and the relationship that I can`t leave no matter how bad it gets:

strong synastry - bad composite - strong natal to composite

Actually you know what, I like my partner, I really do, as a person, and the relationship is running smoothly and everything should be fine, I donīt understand it either, but somehow I find that when we are together I do not really care about the relationship no matter how much I like him personally:

strong synastry - strong composite - weak natal to composite

I don`t think I am even attracted to my partner, and truth be told when we are together we are a desaster, and yet I cant let go.

bad synastry - bad composite - strong natal to composite

I am so attracted to my partner and when we are together, everything should be fine, everything runs smoothly, yet that relationship leaves me weirdly unaffected and cold:

strong synastry - strong compoiste - weak natal to composite

I was not even attracted to my partner, but then I thought I`d give it a chance anyway, and to my surprise whenever we are together, something happens and everything starts sparkling, and I really LOVE it that way:

bad synastry - sparkly composite - strong natal to composite

posted November 01, 2015 05:18 PM            

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Originally posted by DopGang:
About arguments, well, you know me well enough. I think we're similar in that way. That's why if someone says that I don't let things ago. Well it depends. I can drop things like they didn't exist in the first place. It just depends.

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Nods. Come to think of it you and I have a bunch of stuff in common astrologically, to match that.

(I remember charts really well, sorry if anyone's creeped out, just blame my strong memory. )

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
You know how some people can't stand their partner but can't push themselves to leave. I wonder sometimes what those would look like comp to natal.

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Right. Well I'm glad people are aware of this...as people tend to judge relationships pretty harshly sometimes...but this goes to show that there is more than meets the eye.

I find it all fascinating, too.

posted November 01, 2015 11:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I think I'm starting to see a pattern, where arguments feel extra prickly and "loaded."

As if one needs to reconcile problems within the context of a smothering sense of "but we [b]must end up agreeing, somehow!" The tighter the orb, the bigger the issue this seems to be.

Any thoughts?[/B]

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You might be on to something. For some reason, I have sun conjunct mercury in composite with a lot people with whom I have very bad communication issues.

posted November 02, 2015 09:26 AM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
Composite Venus/Mercury/Sun on my Chiron/Ceres/sun was probably what had me stuck so badly on someone. Composite Mars was conjunct my descendant. His progressions were also right on my planets (Venus to Sun, and Sun to moon/venus/south node).

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That would do it!

I've found pr sun conjunct sun, and pr moon conjunct moon synastry is really potent, too.

posted November 02, 2015 09:28 AM            

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Huh.....i have the tight sun/merc conjunction 0 degrees
I love agreeing to disagree but its taken quite awhile to be able to accept this as a workable compromise.
Its alot of learning to let go and realizing we dont have to agree. We can respect each other and our unique opinions, without changing them. Maybe we both function in our unique ways but we can still stand side by side while we do it.
Sometimes compromise is accepting you dont have to see eye to eye to love each other.

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