posted September 14, 2016 09:21 AM              

LOL yes, cold feet, kinda..
edit: I mean, I just need time to process what happens/happened..
I almost have PTSD from the last time I was spending all day (& night) with someone - my ex, like I'd told you on that Pluto thread. JK of course, don't mean to misuse the term. Point is, event a *hint* of those patterns trigger all sorts of red flags for me. I'm a loner to begin with, so it's easy for me to get sucked into "mutual isolation" with someone. Anything even resembling that (what it was like with ex), before I'm "ready" makes me panicky. But then that begs the question of, will I *ever* be ready? Or will that "Omg, leave me alone" instinct always kick in?

Going to meet him at all was also a step-up for me, you know? I just felt comfortable because he was persistent but not pushy about it.

Ha! I'm reading what I wrote and.. Well, who's the nominee for Neurotic of the Year?

posted September 14, 2016 07:25 PM              

Really? Yes, must be #AquaMoonTroubles.

posted September 14, 2016 07:33 PM            

^^ So Aqua moon

posted September 14, 2016 07:40 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

^^ So Aqua moon

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posted September 14, 2016 07:47 PM            

Hi Elysia,

quote:

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Anything even resembling that (what it was like with ex), before I'm "ready" makes me panicky. But then that begs the question of, will I *ever* be ready?

---

Maybe no one is? Reminds me of the Rilke quote...“There are no classes in life for beginners: right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult.”

posted September 14, 2016 08:17 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I wrote some stuff and deleted it. Sad that I don't have any advice.... I think dating is messy and romance usually backfires...old cynic here. But I wish you well!!!!

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I actually agree, and that's part of the problem.

That day, he was talking to me for hours; and in one of his more melancholic moments, he said - "do you know of any couples that are really happy, can you think of even one?"
Well, luckily I do know one, but that's not the point.

You Cappy's are all so serious. Even though he was the one who persuaded me to come, and who scouts for opportunities for us to spend time together - he couldn't help it either, some in-built cynicism.

I guess I just have a hard time trusting. Especially in such cases. If someone/something seems too good to be true, it usually is. So -- I go back n forth about how genuine I think he is. Whether he's got some secret agenda or I'm just another girl to him or he's just pretending to be all that philosophical or what. Saturn - Neptune square at play.

His actions confuse me, he's a Taurus mars! How can he be so forward so soon. Do feelings really develop so strongly so quickly? Does *he* even know what he's doing?

How will his feelings hold up when he gets to know the real me? Assuming we even get to that stage.

posted September 14, 2016 08:21 PM              

Will keep my eyes & ears open.

Thanks for listening, Faith.

And Ceri, I'd like to hear from you too if you can.

posted September 14, 2016 08:47 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Of course you have friends, you're AWESOME.

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You're a sweetheart.

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I got more to say...Taurus Mars, I've gotta dish about that...be back soon.

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posted September 14, 2016 09:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Of course you have friends, you're AWESOME.

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posted September 14, 2016 09:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:

Sorry. I get bored and wander around the site, gravitating towards people that I like.
Also didn't have anything relevant to add. No Sun/NN connections here.

---

Hiii

posted September 14, 2016 09:51 PM              

@Faith - Wow, that sounds really romantic!

You're right, and I used to be like that - giving benefit of doubt, even overriding intuition. But that gets you burnt, as must have happened to loads of people I'm sure.

Just leaves you scared to do that again. And my nerves are so fried, I don't know if I could handle getting close to and losing yet another person. Or being disillusioned in some way.
But you're right, he does seem sincere. I'm programmed to disbelieve that, so..haha. Perspective needs some shakin'. At the end of the day, it is more freeing & rewarding to trust than not. And just go with the flow.

At the very least, it'll prevent unnecessary strain between us, eh?

posted September 14, 2016 09:53 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
Hiii

Actually I think your NN is on Elysia's Mercury if I'm allowed to say that. (Am I, Elysia?)

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Oh yeah, sure!

posted September 14, 2016 10:19 PM              

You're right, and I do apply that to individual pursuits.. Lost track of one-on-one relating..

Lol, what happened to me.

posted September 14, 2016 10:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
Hiii

Actually I think your NN is on Elysia's Mercury if I'm allowed to say that. (Am I, Elysia?)

---

Oh! I never said "Hi"
My bad.
So, hi!

I read briefly on mercury conjunct NN synastry. I'm pretty sure I feel that one. Which is good!

posted September 15, 2016 01:28 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Elysia:
Ceri,

Really? Yes, must be #AquaMoonTroubles.

How do you tackle these feelings?

---

I try to be conscious of them. But seriously?
It depends on the mood of the day.

But I FINALLY figured out that noone is ever READY, and that me keeping back saying I am not "ready", is just an excuse to not take an emotional plunge.

It`s a bit difficult for me, as I do have rather deep feelings, so If plunging anywhere, chances are I might drown. Or realizing I actually can swim without ever noticing. But you`ll never know until you take the dive, eh?

posted September 15, 2016 01:30 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:

That's fire folks I think.

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I`m fire. I really wish I was like that! I think that is the perfect perspective!

Unfortunately my Yin planets are not fire but Aqua and Capricorn, with parallel/ contraparallel to Uranus-Pluto as mentioned, quinkunx to Saturn and for Venus square to Pluto, parallel to Sun-Mercury and conjunct Jupiter/Uranus-mp.

It`s sometimes a bit challenging to balancing it all out.

Oh and dispositors are in Scorpio and Cancer

posted September 15, 2016 01:32 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Elysia:

Almost feels like I have friends again.

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posted September 15, 2016 01:34 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Elysia:

Almost feels like I have friends again.

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posted September 15, 2016 01:34 AM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by DopGang:

That's fire folks I think.

---

I`m fire. I really wish I was like that! I think that is the perfect perspective!

Unfortunately my Yin planets are not fire but Aqua and Capricorn, with parallel/ contraparallel to Uranus-Pluto as mentioned, quinkunx to Saturn and for Venus square to Pluto, parallel to Sun-Mercury and conjunct Jupiter/Uranus-mp.

It`s sometimes a bit challenging to balancing it all out.

posted September 15, 2016 01:34 AM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Elysia:
Ceri,

Really? Yes, must be #AquaMoonTroubles.

How do you tackle these feelings?

---

I try to be conscious of them. But seriously?
It depends on the mood of the day.

But I FINALLY figured out that noone is ever READY, and that me keeping back saying I am not "ready", is just an excuse to not take an emotional plunge.

It`s a bit difficult for me, as I do have rather deep feelings, so If plunging anywhere, chances are I might drown. Or realizing I actually can swim without ever noticing. But you`ll never know until you take the dive, eh?