posted October 19, 2016 03:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
girlwiththerainysoul,

Yes, Dawn Bodrogi from Inner Wheel blog I think.
One of the very rare times I almost completely agree with another astrologer`s view.
And definitely agree on that with her.

I liked her suggestion taking - temporarily- the outers out of the chart and just see what Sun-Saturn are doing. That is a VERY eye-opening-exercise I must admit (after that we of course re-installing the outers into the chart).

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Yes, that's the Dawn I mean. I feel redundant saying her whole name all over the board, but indeed, she's so awesome I really should feel no compunction!

posted October 20, 2016 07:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
"To do with smell I think, very much so, but a smell which doesn't even necessarily exist on the physical plane which he is smelling on you!! That is ambrosia..

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Oh wow! Yes, youīre right. It always seemed bizarrely instinctual (almsot animalistic) to me; I mean sniffing another person can it get any more nonverbal?
He`s simply crazy.

And me and my Mercury conjunct Sun and Aqua Moon were just completely out of our comfort-zone or what even was present in our horizon. I pretty much existed outside that area of physicality (His Virgo-Mars might have played a role, as well, btw).

Well I was overwhelmed, completely without a "gameplan" or knowing how to react (as I certainly had not foreseen this or anticipated such a thing), he`s been going on shaking me right out of my comfort zone with certain actions, leaving me almost paralysed, as not knowing what to do, how to react.

But over the years things have changed a little. Well he STILL stands way too close, considering our casual aquaintanceship, but I figure that maybe it is not even conscious, it`s just, that strange instinctual pull that we apparently both feel and that I have given up trying to find a name for. It`s just what it is, and obviously he has to be physically close to me.
I remember concerts when he was leaving his stage and walking right through the rows (when I was not opting for an aisle-seat but one in the centre, figuring I was "safe" there I am NOWWHERE safe, that much I realized by now), sometimes not even talking to me, sometimes just talking shortly to my direct neighbour, but not without staring at me before, or if I am sitting at an aisle, he pretty much at least once in a concert has to leave stage and go to the back doing something there, and of course accidentally brushing against me while coming back, because no matter how wide the aisle to stage is, he of course cannot simply walk on the middle, he has to pass very closely to the sides, and usually where I am - no I donīt think he does that intentionally; it just happens.

And lately since we`ve been meeting more outside the show, it of course happens during those meetings, too, no matter how many other people are there, he always ends up right beside me, even if it means leaving a big free space to the other side and the other people.

No clue why the social distance zone thing doesn`t work for us, but by now I surrendered to that this is just what it is.
But it took me a while, clutching to what I thought was "appropriate", until deciding that if he doesn`t give a damn, why should I?

So well yes, overwhelming indeed, catapulting me out of my comfort zone, being a a real loud wake-up-call for me, yes, but thing is, it was necessary for me to start going there.
Meeting him certainly was the catalyst for my transformation, physically as well as emotionally/ mentally, so it`s all good. Everything is as it should be at the given time, even if I donīt always understand the reasons. But maybe I am not meant to understand everything at every time.

It still amuses me that in some regards we are just so similiar; the same coffee junkies we apparently are, and usually try to fight that around the same time; we did start losing weight at exactly the same month, and now it seems whenever he has a good period in doing so, I seem to be unable to shed any more weight and vice versa; almost as if only one of us can lose weight at one time. lol
Same favourite ice-cream, same favourite children TV-shows, same fascination for oak trees and so on.
Sometimes it feels like talking to myself. lol
There are differences though, but still.
But then again his mom looks a lot like my mom does, which honestly is a little disconcerting.
He`s even been growing up and still living just a few kilometres away from the town my great grandmother was living and we used to visit so often in my childhood,w hich belongs to my happiest childhoodmemories, so everytime I get back there - usually to see a concert or play- it feels like coming home.

Sorry for the babbling, but to answer the question. Overwhelming, yes, but very worth it.

posted October 20, 2016 10:46 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
actualyl, well, that was a bit of a crazy story,
I saw him perform on stage, and was wondering about his ASC, so I went up to the stagedoor (which I NEVER do, well not until then at least. lol), and asked him.

Well actually by then I thought I was silly,c razy and wanted to leave but he just came through the door and ignoring the nice girls adoring him headed straight towards me, and before I knew it I was pulled into a strange bizarre dimension, trying to persuade him to believe me that I was REALLY not wearing the fragrance he thought he had detected, which made him sniff at my hair (which was a first time for me, having a man sniffing me up, practically within th efirst 10 minutes of meeting. lol), but I figured if he could sniff my hair, I could ask him about his birthtime. He totally confused me (as there was something rather instinctual-physical about the way he reacted to me or acted around me, and I was not able to deal with that - AQua Moon and all, trying to despearately pull that meeting up on an intellectual even if crazy level).

Anyway I asked him, and also told him I was interested in knowing his Ascendant/ horoscope (and no I DON`T do that usually! And I pray to the heavens above, by now he has forgotten all about our first meeting - well I managed to go into hiding for 2 years afterwardrs. lol) - well the moment I had said it, was one of the most interesting in my life, cause all the chattering around us suddenly died down (there were other performers, other people talking to them).
Well of course he did not know his birthtime, I said that it was too bad, and wanted to say bye and leave, when he told me to not leave but wait a few moments (it was the best moment to get rid of that crazy woman - me- but he chose otherwise that moment), then took out his mobile and called his parents to ask for his birthtime, in the middle of the night.

But yeah, that was our first meeting.

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posted October 21, 2016 03:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Warum bist du neidisch?

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posted October 21, 2016 03:43 PM            

Well after I was back in my hotelroom and realized what I had done, I was startled and I called my best friend, completely shaken, about how crazy I had acted, and that that was just not like me doing something like that, and she laughed and replied: "That is absolutely YOU. If you let yourself actually BE YOURSELF."

P has a tendency to work his way around or through or underneath my defense system or shell or mask or something like that I guess.

Nevertheless I did nto do that normally! I swear.

And as crazy as that was, there have been other things happening I never thought could happen in real life (for example the year after that seeing Jude law as Hamlet on stage, from front row. Not that I had been hankering about that opportunity, I never had thought about something like that, when this just sort of fell into my lap. Well next year I think it will be the 4th time I am going to see him on stage in a different play. Man turned out to be an amazing theatre actor, much better than on the silver screen).

And as for P, would I have back then expected or anticipated him singling me out in his live videos, teasing me and practically telling me he loves me?
Certainly not.

It was me who always tried to keep the walls intact, the line of separation, and him who somehow always managed to act as if he wasn`t even aware of any kind of line existing. lol

Thing is as silly that sounds, I was expecting to meet a performer, and instead I met a man/ human being.

I am still recovering from that shocking revelation.

But I admit with all ups and lows and doubts and misunderstandings and whatever, it`s been one hell of a ride, and it still is, and my own world has expanded so much, just especially in the last weeks/ months.

It`s pretty mindblowing.

But if you want to experience something different, then well I think just do something different, something you always wanted to do but thought you could not (because you are too old, too young, too mature, too, I donīt know).
Time to go beyond these self-prescribed boundaries. We are fenced in enough as it is, no reason to limit ourselves, just because we fear what other people might think.

To be honest back then I was almost on my retreat and coming to my sense and wanting to leave, and if I had done, none of this would have happened. And the only reason it really DID happen, was because that moment when I was preparing to leave, he came through the door and instantly approached me (yeah, he approached me, curiously enough, not the other way round. lol)