posted October 27, 2016 11:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cultstatus:
Approximately 4 times in 6 months?
Obviously this is not healthy and I've had enough but I would love to understand WHY this is happening.
He has promised so much yet when we have a breakdown in communication he just cuts me off in the most insensitive cold way as if he doesn't even know me.
What bothers me the most is that I didn't even want this relationship and was so unsure for so long but he really convinced me to trust him.

I am in the inside circle-
Synastry

Composite

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when i hear this type of question I do not look at the chart. no matter what the chart says, it is up to you to decide what type of behaviors you are able to tolerate in partner. lack of respect, lack of attention, lack of interest, etc? no matter what the chart says, are you happy with his behavior, are you willing to tolerate them?

posted October 27, 2016 11:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cultstatus:
Starry your evaluation is so on point. One thing he did say when he broke up with me this time is that I am stopping him from going out, partying and doing things with the boys which I have never stopped him from doing - in fact I've always made a point to say you can do whatever you want and I would never ever want to get in the way of your freedom. He has chosen to spend a lot of time with me and not invest in the other things. To me it appears its either one or the other to him rather than finding balance between social and intimate relationships.
I do require clear, direct and respectful communication to be happy in a relationship and I'm not wondering if he is even capable of meeting these expectations.
He says my expectations for relationships are unreasonable. I do not agree..

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posted November 07, 2016 05:20 AM            

He came to my place a few days later after being out and partying. I was so desperate to try and salvage anything I could and remind him of our connection that I allowed it to happen. He told me he regretted coming over and didn't want to give me false hope.

A week later we met up for drinks and finally had a truely honest conversation. He became super affectionate and wanted to stay with me. He said he didn't regret it and was happy. Yet the very next day told me nothing had changed in his mind.

That was the point I finally said to myself enough is enough and blocked his number immediately. Today I blocked his instagram, he then proceeded to message me on facebook and comment on that.

I'm trying to detach and let go but I am still so in love with him. I am so angry at my self and keep replaying our relationship in my mind like where did I go wrong? What signs did I miss? I honestly just feel so blindsighted and deceived.

posted November 09, 2016 07:23 PM              

My parents have a horrible Composite and Sumatra but have been madly in love for over 20 years.

These aspect interpretations are very much relevant and even extreme accurate, but they are not fatalistic and they will never tell you if a relationship will be long-term, lasting, strong, etc

posted November 10, 2016 04:02 AM            

You have to love yourself more. You say you were desperate to make anything work - you should investigate why. Why, after he has dumped and ghosted you so many times? After being treated like a piece of ass? Why are you EVER desperate about this guy? No amount of loving someone should equal putting yourself in such a harmful place. I'm proud of you for blocking him. Did you reply to his fb message? You need to block him everywhere, if you didn't. It doesn't count if there's still one way to communicate - even fb messenger. It doesn't feel good right now - but in many months you will be glad you did and feel powerful that you were able to hold your ground. You are better than this.

Anyway, that is my rant and i hope you don't mind it - I say it only because I went through exactly the same thing as you, and I actually saw my life turn around in every direction after I grabbed the reigns and severed everything with him.

For the astrology part - my eyes went right to the gemini and 5th house too. My bet is that he has been wishy-washy with you while playing with others. I know that's not a happy thing to hear, but I look at his chart and just see player/ don juan all over it. He loves having women fall in love with him. He gets confused by his options. This is why he goes to you for a little while then suddenly bolts. He uses a 'fight' or negative moment between you as an excuse to flee, but pay attention to the pattern and his behavior around it. My guess is he purposely becomes more difficult around the weeks he disappears as a way to stage a little break so he can play with someone new during that time without it being defined as cheating. Then he comes back to you when he feels like he can/ has gotten enough of that mini fling/ whatever.

I hardly ever look at synastry anymore because I find that someone's natal chart gives us all the information we need about the kind of person they are, and they will show us that even if the relationship has strength. Some people cannot be contained to just one person. I think this guy is one of those people.

posted November 15, 2016 07:15 AM            

The two times I have reached out to communicate with him since the breakup when I've been out in public he has literally been 10 metres away from me. We dream about each other on the same nights. It's like the connection would follow me - I can't help that I love him I can only change my own behaviours.

This happened over the weekend - we had many truely painfully honest conversations where I finally was able to connect to him again where he admitted he has issues and that he wants to speak to someone about them because I don't deserve the way he has treated me and it can't continue whether he is with me or with someone else. He says he has trust issues that stop him from truely connecting and committing to me. He also admitted that they were affecting other areas of his life like his friendships, and his work was suffering. He admitted that me blocking him out really hurt him and was eye opening. That he was unable to eat, felt sick and anxious by it. That it made him feel like he had pushed me away to the point where I was finally gone and he knew he had made a mistake. We both want to try and build a better relationship and address the issues rather than pushing them under the carpet this time. We both want to start again and build something strong.

I know a lot of people can't understand going back to someone who has hurt them but if someone is willing to put in the work to improve themselves I think there is hope. The overwhelming feeling of calmness and love between us when we are together is undeniable and just feels right. From this whole experience I have learnt I need to not to accept bad behaviour due to my own self worth issues. You're right, I do need to love myself more.

We have had a lot of issues with outside influences getting involved in our relationship too which makes it even harder.

posted November 15, 2016 04:59 PM            

It has been quite a turbulent few months for a lot of people, so understand that you are not alone

Other people's convictions are their own. Nobody truly understands what goes on between you and your boyfriend. You know best what's right for you. Just learn from the lessons and have the courage to love and heal yourself first. Trust issues will kill any potential for a good relationship for anyone. It's not your problem to fix but his. It's good that you are both able to come to a better conclusion, let's hope the road forward will be a good one where the both of you can heal and get over this hurdle.

posted November 22, 2016 09:40 AM            

He loves it when he feels your Jupiter on his Mars but your Venus-Saturn conjunction is on a different frequency.

Deep down you want commitment and he sense that and it's not something that would easily appeal to somebody with 3 Gemini planets.

Do you convince him that you're happy to take everything day by day when he gets cold feet? He loves your compassion and depth he really does, but I think he's scared of losing his freedom.

posted February 15, 2017 08:08 AM            

Then the eclipse in Leo (his moon sign) came and bang. All over. Again. It was literally like a scene out of Groundhog Day. He came to my house, sat me down on my bed and told me it was over. As he had done the previous 5/6 times. That he wasn't sure about our relationship, that he only said those things (anything nice/committal in the past because he felt 'pressured'). I read through all of our text messages over the past few weeks last night and not one sign of trouble. He never communicated his feelings to me, once again blindsighted but the pattern is all too familiar now.

This time I'm different. I can feel it in my bones. Rather than watching him walk out again I stood up. I grabbed my coat and walked. It may have been my home but I was walking out on him. And I haven't contacted him in over a week. I'm trying to meet/date other people and not wait on him. We haven't had any contact whatsoever, except for when I saw he had transferred some money that he owed me today.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just here in this life to help people around me evolve emotionally.

I really did see him as my husband, I have this gut feeling with him I can't shake. They say you know when you've met the one and that's how I feel about him.

Does anyone see any hope for our future now that I'M changing my behaviour and not accepting any less than I deserve/desire? In the past I've always chased him, distraught by his confusing and hurtful rejections.

I don't know if he will ever come back. I can only see how I need to change, and love myself more.

posted February 15, 2017 11:18 AM            

I guess you have to ask yourself if he is REALLY worth all of this heartache. He is obviously EXTREMELY immature and he needs to just be alone to figure himself out without ruining someone else's life in the process.

Put astrology aside and focus on how this is affecting you in real life. If he really truly feels like "the one" then you have to ask yourself if he is worth waiting for, for him to finally grow up. What if he doesn't though? What if he does, but he doesn't choose you? Then it will have all been for nothing.

What if you're only attached to him, because he's "unattainable" in some way, like you're attracted to the challenge? Is your connection really that fulfilling you can't see yourself with anyone else?

posted February 16, 2017 12:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cultstatus:
And here we go again. Three months of blissful semi-domesticity, working on our relationship, truely growing together. He met my parents, I hung out with his family a few more times, he told me I am the love of his life. We discussed the possibility of living together, often times he would bring up his desire to move into my new place. That he'd imagined me as his wife. We had a Pinterest board of our future life goals together!

Then the eclipse in Leo (his moon sign) came and bang. All over. Again. It was literally like a scene out of Groundhog Day. He came to my house, sat me down on my bed and told me it was over. As he had done the previous 5/6 times. That he wasn't sure about our relationship, that he only said those things (anything nice/committal in the past because he felt 'pressured'). I read through all of our text messages over the past few weeks last night and not one sign of trouble. He never communicated his feelings to me, once again blindsighted but the pattern is all too familiar now.

This time I'm different. I can feel it in my bones. Rather than watching him walk out again I stood up. I grabbed my coat and walked. It may have been my home but I was walking out on him. And I haven't contacted him in over a week. I'm trying to meet/date other people and not wait on him. We haven't had any contact whatsoever, except for when I saw he had transferred some money that he owed me today.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just here in this life to help people around me evolve emotionally.

I really did see him as my husband, I have this gut feeling with him I can't shake. They say you know when you've met the one and that's how I feel about him.

Does anyone see any hope for our future now that I'M changing my behaviour and not accepting any less than I deserve/desire? In the past I've always chased him, distraught by his confusing and hurtful rejections.

I don't know if he will ever come back. I can only see how I need to change, and love myself more.

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I read your post and I was very happy for you in spite of your pain. then I read the question about us to checking if there is a future together. I see a contradiction in your statement about loving yourself. I feel that you have made huge change from what you have said in previous posts, but still I believe in not only the behavior, but the mental attitude. if you still are wondering about him (in spite of the 6 break-ups) I do not think you are getting the point of "loving yourself" just yet.

sorry to be so blunt. I will try to look at your synastry during the weekend and give my insights if that is helpful, but the non-astrological advice is not to focus in changing externally (the way you act toward him i.e. walking away) but the way your mental attitude toward his behavior change. I can understand and sympathyze with your feelings. I guess most of us have been there somehow, heart-broken and desperated and feeling like life has no meaning without that person.

but no... maybe it is not about you helping others to grow. maybe it is about them also helping you to grow. he has helped you to set limits, to not accept ******** . this seems to be a lesson here. are you willing to accept him back when he come back? I suspect he will come back sooner or later. but the question is, are you going to accept the same BS again? this is a growing part for you. do not worry how much he grows. focus how you can become stronger woman and set limits that violate your boundaries and make you suffer. you have talked about loving yourself. it is so easy to talk about loving ourselves with all this "self-help" books, but owning the love comes from understanding what we really are and honour our wounds, our fragility and nurture with kind thoughts to ourselves, with care of our body and mind, with setting boundaries to those hurting us, etc..

said that to yourself "I am lovable and deserve someone who respect me" the moment you own that sentence and your soul resonated with that, you will know internally if you can accept or no an apology. your heart will know

best wishes

NS

posted February 16, 2017 12:36 PM            

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Originally posted by margym0o:
I can't imagine how painful this must be for you. It sounds like an awful roller coaster.

I guess you have to ask yourself if he is REALLY worth all of this heartache. He is obviously EXTREMELY immature and he needs to just be alone to figure himself out without ruining someone else's life in the process.

Put astrology aside and focus on how this is affecting you in real life. If he really truly feels like "the one" then you have to ask yourself if he is worth waiting for, for him to finally grow up. What if he doesn't though? What if he does, but he doesn't choose you? Then it will have all been for nothing.

What if you're only attached to him, because he's "unattainable" in some way, like you're attracted to the challenge? Is your connection really that fulfilling you can't see yourself with anyone else?

After this much back and forth I would likely walk away and never look back. I wouldn't give him the chance to break my heart again.

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posted February 16, 2017 06:23 PM            

I had a bit of an epiphany last night. My first experience of love was my parents ignoring my emotional needs, and making me feel that I wasn't good enough. It's a dynamic I'm all too familiar with.

Now it's playing out again in this relationship and I need to recognise that this is not a healthy love, I shouldn't normalise or accept it. Eventually I confronted my parents in my mid 20s, and even though they didn't take ownership for it, I knew my own truth and stood strong in it.

I'm still doing strong with no contact and have some dates lined up.

I'm working hard on myself, I don't want to be the same person I have been in the past. I want to better understand what kind of love/relationship I need and deserve.

posted February 18, 2017 01:09 AM            

What stands out to me is how even though you're taking power/control back by distancing yourself and walking out on him, internally you're still defining your power by him and by romantic interests generally. I know I'm not commenting on the astrology strictly here and I don't want to give unwarranted advice, but my instinct would be to quit dating altogether and bask in self-love and self-respect for awhile.

posted February 19, 2017 03:51 PM            

his ruler of 7th in his 5th and your fourth oppose your venus. he may see you as partner material, he also bring the homy part of you. not surprised he mentioned about living together. your sagitarian energy is very attractive to his gemini stellium, specailly with your jupiter in 1st house. where I see something lacking is you do not have any placement in cancer (although the fact that his DC ruler falls into your 4th brings that homy cacerian side in you. a man with moon in 7th is going to resonate deeply with a woman with cancerian qualities. you do not have (except chiron) planets in 4th or in cancer. I suspect that if he is interested in another woman she may have strong cancer placements.

the composite moon-venus in 7th is beautiful and may make you both feel nutured when you are together. it is an awesome aspect. uranus-saturn conjunction is challenging. the need for stability with the need for reinventing and creating new rules are at odds. i advice to check his chart and your chart to see where this conjunction is falling in each individual chart. check also where moon-venus fall into each individual chart.

posted February 19, 2017 03:54 PM            

best wishes