posted October 21, 2018 07:59 PM            

I've read angles being conjunct are significant in synastry - does this mean one's growth in life is through the other's private, interior life? How?

Stories? Theories?

posted October 21, 2018 08:01 PM            

my Aqua NN was conjunct my boyfriend of two years IC by 1°

I'd say that touching his IC meant I was to change a way he viewed his parents marriage. I guess he always believed that his parents never chose to be married, they just married because his mother was already pregnant with his oldest brother. A marriage of convenience. He believed they never loved each other from the beginning.

Well, through sheer digging I was able to find a county picture of his parents court house wedding, and in the picture they were both beaming, besides themselves with joy, utterly delighted to be marrying each other. She did not look pregnant in the picture at all.

It shook him to his core when he saw the picture (the wedding took place in the early 1950's, yes there was a big age gap between the both of us). So in that sense, I changed his perspective on his very foundation of being (IC).

But we ended up breaking up. Things happen. We even have a tight Moon/Saturn/IC conjunction in Capricorn in our composite.

After that relationship (and a previous one in which my NN was exactly conjunct my 1st boyfriend's DC) I've realized that angles receive energy more intensely than points (NN/SN/midpoints) do. The ASC/DSC/IC/MC axis is a receptive energy that soaks in and internalizes. Planets and points are what imbues the angles with energy.

I knew him for 11 years before we entered into a relationship, and he already had a huge influence in my life before this.

He did change me in the sense that he cultured me. He's the man that took me to the finest restauraunts this city had to offer, he flew me out first class to Europe twice, many of my educational milestones may not have been possible without him. I deeply loved him, but we broke up in June and I don't look fondly back on our relationship maybe because the breakup aftermath was just that terrible. But there is no denying that he had a massive effect on my life and that I'm better for it. I did feel this strong desire to reproduce with him - he was just so gorgeous to me and I felt that our children would be stunning.

posted October 21, 2018 08:13 PM            

I'm also very interested in how the IC person has an effect on the NN. So if you don't mind my asking, you being the NN person were transformed through your experience with the IC person... did your transformation feel North Node-y to you? In what way? Did both your respective transformations feel connected or interrelated at all?

posted October 21, 2018 09:09 PM            

My NN is in Aqua conjunct my Moon.. so in the vein of Aquarius, he did make me reconsider "unconventional" relationships. I would have never dated someone 31 years older than me before we had got into a relationship, the mere idea would have been utterly unthinkable to me. To say that we got stared at a lot in public is an understatement. So I kind of slinked into the role of being a social pariah much more comfortably - a very Aquarius motif. Not to mention my NN is in the 5th house and this was a romance, so voila!

Being his girlfriend/mentee also lent me invaluable inside knowledge into his profession, which I now see myself pursuing career-wise even though we're no longer together.

I'd say since we've broken up I've been much more inclined towards detachment in my relationships, falling out of love with the concept of monogamy, practicing affectionate non-attachment (since my Moon is in the equation here)

posted October 21, 2018 09:23 PM            

So far, as I understand it, as ever, it depends very much on what else is influencing the synastry. And, in particular that NN (but probs to the ruler of the IC too). And also too - what's impacting the NN in the natal chart.

It's a very deep and interesting and intense aspect.

Because the node access is super sensitive it gives another layer of fascination. The IC is super sensitive too. There is also a degree of fear and anxiety that is inherit in the nodal access. And also, that it doesn't give off energy of itself (nor do the angles - ie, the IC), it makes it a really interesting and complex factor to ponder on.

It depends very much on what planets are around the nodes on each side in the natal too. And also what synastry aspects are to it. I would go so far as to say that this is one of those aspects that are a near no-go to interpret in isolation, because it's energy is very dependent on the other planets around it.

But we still do it for fun! Like we do with all the other planetary aspects

I have it at the moment with someone, DW.

athenaia, I came across you post most often via Google, when I was seeking info on this aspect. There isn't a lot of info out there apart from your post, lol

posted October 22, 2018 04:36 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sassaqua:

athenaia, I came across you post most often via Google, when I was seeking info on this aspect. There isn't a lot of info out there apart from your post, lol

[/B]

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Sassaqua, not being able to find much on the internet is exactly what prompted me to post about it I'm always so glad when I finally come across the rare thread filled with valuable experiences and theories on aspects. Hope this becomes one of those.

I'm sure you are right on the importance of the outer influences on nodal contacts.

I'll share my experience too. My ex boyfriend (we love each other a great deal but couldn't make things work in the way they were) has his 5th house Aries NN on my IC. I do think our relationship completely bulldozered so many of my preconceptions about what a settled (or not settled) life should look like. It completely eradicated my feelings on "should"s and appearances. I really do believe it had the most liberating effect on how I related with my family. I felt so bogged down by their expectations previously and felt quite a bit of resentment towards their self-defined standards. I believe his NN being on my IC re-defined my roots and interior world in a fantastic way. At the time, though, this understanding came with a lot of fear and panic. Ultimately though, I feel exponentially more free and myself. I think this contact is partly how I got rid of my self-imposed expectations coming from my family. Once I accepted how different my outlook on life is, I was able to feel a lot of compassion towards them too.

In my natal, my IC is widely conjunct my own NN. I wonder if his NN influence on my IC contributed to my NN development as well. (Does this make sense?)

In terms of other influences which may have informed what I described above, with my boyfriend we have Sun very tightly conj SN, (hence opposite NN), my Jupiter semisquare his NN, and his Mars (NN ruler for both of us) very strongly squaring my NN. And we know each other from childhood. So roots, growth and abrupt transformations have been in the DNA of the relationship from the get go.

As I said, I'm so interested to know in what way the respective transformations are related when it's IC and NN. The IC is so interior and "core" in a way, while NN is quite exterior and forward moving. It interests me that one person's growth should be "through" another person's interiority. Does this interpretation feel plausible?

I'd love it if more NN counterparts would chime in about how they felt and how they see their contact (in hindsight).

posted October 22, 2018 06:50 AM            

So articulately put. It's so hard sometimes to summarise it all! You did well.

"In my natal, my IC is widely conjunct my own NN. I wonder if his NN influence on my IC contributed to my NN development as well. (Does this make sense?)" - yes, it makes sense.

And -
"I do think our relationship completely bulldozered so many of my preconceptions about what a settled (or not settled) life should look like. It completely eradicated my feelings on "should"s and appearances."
Remember, it IS opposite your MC (in Libra like me by the sounds of it). So, it's also your own interpretation of how you should appear. Just saying.

"I believe his NN being on my IC re-defined my roots and interior world in a fantastic way."
Or, was it more a homecoming to someone inside of yourself that you'd left behind and maybe forgotten? So there wasn't any "redefining", but a maybe a remembering? Just putting it out there.

Who's Sun was on the SN? Was that yours? Have we seen these charts in another thread? There's so many I can't keep track of who's who

I can relate to what your saying about "core", AND liberation. But, I cannot help but wonder how much the sign is part of that feeling - Aries is pretty liberating (I spose). I felt like he was my Peterpan (his NN on my IC was ALSO Aries y'see). What other sign would represent Peterpan more than Aries? It would've been different if it was say, Taurus, in contrast?

Was there any big guys on his SN, btw?

So, and funnily, the person I had the interaction with was also an Aries NN. I attributed the rawness to that assertive Aries energy into my core. It was very straight forward energy, and I felt so refreshed. Like, finally, I've got someone here who is straight up and direct. It felt wonderful, and a deep, deep homecoming too. Like a part of me that I had forgotten, and was so far away from my pleaser Libra MC. So, a homecoming, yes.

It's ended now. I got cold feet, he probably did too. I put it down to the intensity of the whole chart though. In particular aspects from him to planets in my natal that aren't really supported in my own natal. He felt too scary for me - well, not scary, but more confident so I figured his life was more secure and I may end up heartbroken. A potentially intense relationships that may derail my life because of the passions. And fears of losing him after I got attached.

OR - was it because the IC is antithetical to the MC? It's regressive to the growth toward the MC. I felt like I could run away and be a child with him again. Be reckless and say to hell with the world. To be whisked away at this time of my life I'm not sure that would be a good idea.

I tried to ground it in friendship but he wouldn't compromise. I'd sure like to keep him as a study.. but, tbh, we'd definitely end up in the sack and my life would derail (probably). He was much stronger than me with lots of Pluto aspects (which I don't have).

Anyhow.. sigh...

The other aspects that were of concern were:
My Sun, which is conjunct my NN, was also on his IC. But, that Sun was exactly inconjunct his Pluto. My Sun has only squares. So, I am assuming that, considering the entrapment it was getting from Pluto, my Sun was freaking out a bit, and I am guessing that he could sense this through HIS IC. So, again, the condition of planets matter.

HIS NN on my IC is also conjunct my Chiron. And square my 12H Venus. And, almost opposite my Moon (and then too, my Moon shy of his SN - like your Sun?). So, there was a bit of t-square action going on. We both have a Tsquare with Chiron (his Pisces) and the big guys Uranus, Pluto and him, Jupiter too. That's quite a bit of force. Just that his Chiron stradles my IC (with his Aries NN just over the other side). My T-square is up a bit, with my Chiron in his early 5H. Hmm..

Lesson learned again: always look at the other aspects. And also, the aspects to a person's natal. I don't know if it was my Chiron on his NN or what, but I felt that he was a little on the low end of the empathy spectrum (but that could just be the Aries vibe, and also my fears). Because of that I backed away. My 12H Venus in Cap, took a practical approach and figured that it was too risky

Sorry.. a bit of a rant and a bit off topic. That's a lot of info I don't expect you to absorb! I'm so keen to get our charts up soon. I felt like he was my long lost other half and I wont forget him. I hope my Peterpan comes back another day to take things slowly and maybe too when I'm feeling more confident myself.

I'll think more on the IC NN interaction. BUT, I am very sure that it's best to consider it altogether (see my comments in last post). I'll look at your charts again too, if you like? Just bump em up

posted October 22, 2018 06:52 AM            

Is it an "intimate" placement. Or is it boundary intrusion.

posted October 22, 2018 08:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sassaqua:

So, it's also your own interpretation of how you should appear. Just saying.

Or, as it just a homecoming to someone inside of yourself that you'd left behind and maybe forgotten? Just putting it out there.

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Wow! You are so right. I hadn't thought of IC in terms of self-discovery. Thanks for this.

quote:

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I attributed the rawness to that assertive Aries energy into my core. It was very straight forward energy, and I felt so refreshed. Like, finally, I've got someone here who is straight up and direct. It felt wonderful, and a deep, deep homecoming too. Like a part of me that I had forgotten, and was so far away from my pleaser Libra MC. So, a home coming, yes.

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I've been reading a bit on the nodes and I imagine NN at its best to be exactly like you described. Something that's incredibly new and refreshing you had no idea you needed, at least on the surface. My 7th house is ruled by Cancer so I tend to make homes out of the people I love anyways - but it bogs one down from time to time. So this is the kind of energy to be thankful, especially for someone to whom directness and boldness does not come naturally.

quote:

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It's ended now. I got cold feet, he probably did too. I put it down to the intensity of the whole chart though. In particular aspects from him to planets in my natal that aren't really supported in my own natal. He felt too scary for me. And also, a potentially intense relationships that may derail my life because of the passions.
And fears.

I tried to ground it in friendship but he wouldn't compromise. I'd sure like to keep hi as a study.. but, tbh, we'd definitely end up in the sack and my life would derail (probably). He was much stronger than me with lots of Pluto aspects (which I don't have).

The other aspects of concern were:
My Sun, which is conjunct my NN, was also on his IC. But, that Sun was exactly inconjunct his Pluto. My Sun has only squares. So, I am assuming that, considering the entrapment it was getting from Pluto, my Sun was freaking out a bit, and I am guessing that he could sense this through HIS IC.

HIS NN on my IC is also conjunct my Chiron. And square my 12H Venus. And, almost opposite my Moon. So, there was a bit of a t-square going on. We both have a Tsquare on that IC axis with the big guys Uranus, Pluto and him, Jupiter too, and with his (Pisces) Chiron. That's quite a bit of force.

Lesson learned again: always look at the other aspects. And also, the aspects to a person's natal. I don't know if it was my Chiron on his NN or what, but I felt that he was a little on the low end of the empathy spectrum (but that could just be the Aries vibe, and also my fears). Because of that I backed away. My 12H Venus in Cap, took a practical approach and figured that it was too risky

Sorry.. a bit of a rant and a bit off topic. I'm so keen to get our charts up soon. I felt like he was my long lost other half and I wont forget.

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All these sound like very sophisticated deductions. I would be very interested to see your chart, if you like. Especially interesting was his Pluto seeming 'disproportionate' with regards to your own chart. Are you currently in touch at all?

quote:

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I'll think more on the IC NN interaction. BUT, I am very sure that it's best to consider it altogether (see my comments in last post). I'll look at your charts again too, if you like? Just bump em up [/B]

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I'm sure you encountered my big sad love on another thread - I'm very surprised by my attachment to him and this relationship. We are both in love, I think. I'll bump the thread up for you, I'd be very curious to see what you think.

Any other insights about SN/NN in synastry is very welcome from anyone who is interested, by the way. Dawn Bodrogi's reading on the (I was devastated when I found out she passed - I really love her writing and insights. RIP) SN / NN axis convinced me it's really not very understood at all. Hers was so wise and layered as always.

posted October 22, 2018 08:58 AM            

- I did mean the IC though. A return to my IC, via his Aries energy triggering it (he has Chiron there too). I see NN as a bit different.

I'll go find your bumped post and have a look now before sleeping. You must mean Composite 8th house stellium in Leo: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/008121.html

I did not know that Dawn passed?? I recall that she was ill..(I think?). Her posts were announcing this. That's sad news. Yes, her work was so nourishingly deep <3

posted October 22, 2018 09:02 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sassaqua:
I see NN as a bit different.

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How so? Would love to hear what you think about the SN as well. My current feeling is that SN-NN are not exactly in the polarity they are portrayed, at least not in that way.

quote:

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I did not know that Dawn passed?? I recall that she was ill..(I think?). Her posts were announcing this. That's sad news. [/B]

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Me neither, it was such a shock to discover she'd passed before I even started reading her. May we all stay alive and well in the wisdom we impart.

posted October 22, 2018 12:24 PM            

Other Node aspects:
My Saturn square his NN (2‘)
His vertex opposite my NN (4‘) >> don’t know if that counts
I didn’t include minor aspects

I changed his world view a bit. He became Vegetarian; his awerness for environmental problems grew; He told me that through me, his general thinking got wider. He became less conservative and self-centered, especially in matters of sexuality and relationships. Our relationship started very suddenly, we didn’t follow any dating rules, everything just fell organically into place. We had our own rules and pace. Which was definitely my influence. I also always encouraged him to travel more and explore. When we first met, he was the one who approached me. I had an intense effect on him and he told me pretty early on that he felt “at home” with me.

His influence on me:
I loved him very deeply, still do. From the start, he had access to my most private parts and thoughts. It was impossible for me to hide anything from him. When things went well, we were connected on a soul level. When things didn’t go well, he had the capacity to hurt me very deeply. It’s like I didn’t have a filter, he could just reach into me. He brought up a lot of things from my past, especially my childhood issues. He was obsessed with it. We would talk about it all the time, which made me feel very anxious, self-conscious and helpless. But I would never leave. I cut him so much slack, he always got the benefit of a doubt. My capacity for forgiveness grew immensely, through this relationship. And my belly, too.. since I’m becoming a mommy soon. So in that sense he’s changing my home life, too.

Interesting thing is, his mother’s ASC is conj his NN and also conj my IC. Her and my Moons are conj, too .. and her Venus conj my SN
He would always say, we’d be sooo much alike. There was a lot of projection going on. And indeed, I love his Mom and she loves me! I like his whole family, and sometimes feel more emotionally connected to them, than to my own.

posted October 22, 2018 12:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ana_bee:
Hi there, I have this aspect with my current ex-boyfriend and baby daddy.
My IC in Aqua is conj his NN in 9th house (2 degrees)

Other Node aspects:
My Saturn square his NN (2‘)
His vertex opposite my NN (4‘) >> don’t know if that counts
I didn’t include minor aspects

I changed his world view a bit. He became Vegetarian; his awerness for environmental problems grew; He told me that through me, his general thinking got wider. He became less conservative and self-centered, especially in matters of sexuality and relationships. Our relationship started very suddenly, we didn’t follow any dating rules, everything just fell organically into place. We had our own rules and pace. Which was definitely my influence. I also always encouraged him to travel more and explore. When we first met, he was the one who approached me. I had an intense effect on him and he told me pretty early on that he felt “at home” with me.

His influence on me:
I loved him very deeply, still do. From the start, he had access to my most private parts and thoughts. It was impossible for me to hide anything from him. When things went well, we were connected on a soul level. When things didn’t go well, he had the capacity to hurt me very deeply. It’s like I didn’t have a filter, he could just reach into me. He brought up a lot of things from my past, especially my childhood issues. He was obsessed with it. We would talk about it all the time, which made me feel very anxious, self-conscious and helpless. But I would never leave. I cut him so much slack, he always got the benefit of a doubt. My capacity for forgiveness grew immensely, through this relationship. And my belly, too.. since I’m becoming a mommy soon. So in that sense he’s changing my home life, too.

Interesting thing is, his mother’s ASC is conj his NN and also conj my IC. Her and my Moons are conj, too .. and her Venus conj my SN
He would always say, we’d be sooo much alike. There was a lot of projection going on. And indeed, I love his Mom and she loves me! I like his whole family, and sometimes feel more emotionally connected to them, than to my own.

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Wow ana_bee, what you shared brought a few tears to my eyes! Thank you for your sincerity and honesty, as well as insightfulness.

It sounds like a very deep bond and transformation. Congratulations on the little one, and I wish for their safe arrival! Your life is about to change in a magnificent way. Much luck.

posted October 22, 2018 02:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by HieronymusTush:
Congratulations on the little one, and I wish for their safe arrival! Your life is about to change in a magnificent way. Much luck.

That was the other thing I was wondering about IC/NN - it really does feel like the NN would want to create a 'home' out of the IC, or to continue a lineage and extend it to their future. Bridging a familial past towards a future feels like it would be a part of this connection. This was really touching to read. Thank you

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Thank you for your wishes! *

Interesting observation. This fits quite well to our situation! Our charts are not that strong.. so I really feel that the IC/NN connection is the most significant point in our journey. I also had experience with Asc or Dsc conj NN, but it never felt this profound for me. (being both)
I really feel that the IC is a very personal and private point.

Sometimes I wonder if Nodal contacts are ever meant to last...

I think people never develope gradually in a straight line. Progress always comes in waves, and after progress there’s always a relapse of falling into old habits. I see it in myself and also in close relationships. I think especially with NN connections, you feel this acutely. There’s always a component of resistance and conflict.

I find it quite telling that the new girl he’s currently dating has her Sun conj his SN! .. with no other nodal contacts. Her birthday is only 12 days apart from his, so they share a lot of close aspects to personal planets. Interestingly she’s someone he knew from high school! (Hello SN in 3rd house!) He told his brother that it’s less complicated with her. They get along great, are quiet similar in their personalities and she’s way less emotional than I am.

Although I have a strong connection to his mother, I never had the best connection to his friends. He’s still friends with the same group of people he knew in kindergarten! He’s a grown man now. But his guy friends remained the same! I always felt a personality change whenever he’d spend time with them.. and not for the better.

posted October 22, 2018 04:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ana_bee:
Thank you for your wishes! *

Sometimes I wonder if Nodal contacts are ever meant to last...

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Sun conj SN will feel familiar and easy. But not everyone likes it seemingly. SN is commonly interpreted as somewhat stifling in the end. Not sure if this has been my experience. More on this below.

I've been checking a few relationships to see if I could find close examples of NN/IC and voila -- I have this with my best friend turns out! I'd never paid attention to this before.

So here's my NN/IC experience from a friendship viewpoint:

I've known my best friend since middle school, when we were sat in neighboring desks and started exchanging doodles one day. He's a remarkably talented painter, still, to this day - I have to beg him to draw something for my birthday every year. I used to draw when we were both kids, so we bonded over our shared love of art. And we have never really parted ways ever since. I feel his brain is like an external drive for me, I have such confidence in his intelligence and curiosity.

To give a bit of a back story on the other aspects in our friendship as a backdrop to the NN/IC: Our synastry and composite is a bit funny - a lot of squares and semisquares, nothing incredibly bonding (his sun is even inconjunct to my Saturn! lol) Among all this clunky friction is one moon conj Venus but that's just it... Except for the old Sun conj SN and North Node conj IC!!! These two feature prominently in our otherwise somewhat 'wtf' chart. Although it's not a conventional, 'cry on your shoulder' type of visibly sentimental relationship, we have never not been close since we were 13. Realizing this kind of transforms my outlook on both the South Node and the nodes in general.

With the SN conj Sun: I think being naturally somewhat 'uncomfortable' people, this contact helps us feel relaxed enough among the multitude of squares and creative friction that we both find an incredibly open outlet to express ourselves artistically in this friendship. We clash a lot, albeit mostly jokingly, when we are not exchanging ideas on a third subject or collaborating on something. We will actively disagree for days. But I feel like I have always known him at this point, and he is the first person I will call with a joke, a new book, any new minute developments in my life, and mostly our professions, which I believe constitute almost %70 percent of our lives (I know, very lame). So ours is not an incredibly "over the surface" sentimental relationship, but creating value is such an integral part of it. I owe most of whatever I consider as minor accomplishments to the encouragement, critique and inspiration of this person. I don't think I could this comfortably and productively clash with him had it not been for the Sun conj SN. I am the Sun here.

In terms of NN/IC, I am the NN. I don't think he talks about his family and roots with anyone else in the same way or perhaps even at all. I'm considerably more open as a person, but I will take him as dead seriously as he takes me about emotions and family in the realms of intellectual thought, creative output and communication. (My NN is 3rd house Aries) I think (I'd like to believe, at least, and I try) that I continually bring him closer to his family by comforting him that it's okay for him to feel disconnected from them at times, and it's okay to feel alone in a familial setting, and that any trouble he encountered during his childhood is not his fault. I do find I can get short with him at times, and nudge him to grow and be more expressive. In this way, I think my NN acts in energizing him to transform the way he exercises his IC. We are pretty much one another's chosen family.

Conversely, I think his presence, ideas and friendship is absolutely vital and integral to my North Node development, moving closer to communicating my views properly and confidently. I am certain I would be less complete without his friendship. He saved my life so many times when I have been despondent about my romantic life, or habitually, cruelly harsh on myself on what I have achieved. My self critique is one of the biggest obstacles between me and my NN, I think, and his support continually alleviates this.

I'm very surprised to find this aspect in such close proximity in my life. I'll keep thinking about in what other ways he's the IC and I'm the NN.

Perhaps node contacts bring longevity proportionate to the task at hand... when the lesson is hard to learn, it takes two people all the way from childhood to mid-thirties. I don't know!

posted October 28, 2018 03:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by HieronymusTush:
With the SN conj Sun: I think being naturally somewhat 'uncomfortable' people, this contact helps us feel relaxed enough among the multitude of squares and creative friction that we both find an incredibly open outlet to express ourselves artistically in this friendship. We clash a lot, albeit mostly jokingly, when we are not exchanging ideas on a third subject or collaborating on something. We will actively disagree for days. But I feel like I have always known him at this point, and he is the first person I will call with a joke, a new book, any new minute developments in my life, and mostly our professions, which I believe constitute almost %70 percent of our lives (I know, very lame). So ours is not an incredibly "over the surface" sentimental relationship, but creating value is such an integral part of it. I owe most of whatever I consider as minor accomplishments to the encouragement, critique and inspiration of this person. I don't think I could this comfortably and productively clash with him had it not been for the Sun conj SN. I am the Sun here.

In terms of NN/IC, I am the NN. I don't think he talks about his family and roots with anyone else in the same way or perhaps even at all. I'm considerably more open as a person, but I will take him as dead seriously as he takes me about emotions and family in the realms of intellectual thought, creative output and communication. (My NN is 3rd house Aries) I think (I'd like to believe, at least, and I try) that I continually bring him closer to his family by comforting him that it's okay for him to feel disconnected from them at times, and it's okay to feel alone in a familial setting, and that any trouble he encountered during his childhood is not his fault. I do find I can get short with him at times, and nudge him to grow and be more expressive. In this way, I think my NN acts in energizing him to transform the way he exercises his IC. We are pretty much one another's chosen family.

Conversely, I think his presence, ideas and friendship is absolutely vital and integral to my North Node development, moving closer to communicating my views properly and confidently. I am certain I would be less complete without his friendship. He saved my life so many times when I have been despondent about my romantic life, or habitually, cruelly harsh on myself on what I have achieved. My self critique is one of the biggest obstacles between me and my NN, I think, and his support continually alleviates this.

I'm very surprised to find this aspect in such close proximity in my life. I'll keep thinking about in what other ways he's the IC and I'm the NN.

Perhaps node contacts bring longevity proportionate to the task at hand... when the lesson is hard to learn, it takes two people all the way from childhood to mid-thirties. I don't know!

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This sounds like a very deep and significant friendship. It’s funny how it’s so much easier to overcome challenging aspects in a friendship setting than in a romantic relationship.. it just always somehow works out. But maybe it’s just my experience and I feel generally challenged in romantic relationships. High hopes and a lot of dependability play a major role in this sentiment, I guess..

I like your last sentence: “Perhaps node contacts bring longevity proportionate to the task at hand... ”
That must be true.