posted May 05, 2019 04:12 AM            

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Originally posted by EmGem:
[B]5th house cusp in Scorpio BOOM! That’ll do it lol. I really hate that they seem to have this power over us. Hence the push/pull. I do hope you guys can work it out though. That dance does get so exhausting 😭

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On the other hand, I have Pluto in my 5th house conjunct his Moon/Pluto so... 😬

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I’m feeling so sad about mine this morning. I haven’t heard from him in almost a week and see that makes me think he simply doesn’t care.
Yeah it for sure meant something to follow me overseas, but he would tell me that he couldn’t be in a full relationship with me because he had to fix himself. He claimed he was trying but I didn’t see any action on his part. The guy needs therapy but he’s so apathetic. He’ll not try because he claims he doesn’t deserve it. He has so much self hatred. Doesn’t believe he deserves anything good. I saw the goodness in him though. It was buried beneath his pain. I wasn’t afraid of that darkness either. When we’re together it’s so beautiful and comfortable and so passionate. But when we’re apart it goes to **** . He is a compulsive flirt so to distance himself from our intensity he would flirt with others and I hated it. He would never tell me but I just knew what he was doing. He was always undecided about being with me because he was split. Part of him wanted a life with me, part wanted his old life, part wanted a completely new one. But I know how much he loved me. He even said we might still be here when we’re 60 and you’ll still be waiting for me to get my **** together.
What broke me was when he said to me “a girl asked me out and I didn’t know what to say or do. Made me realise I need to be soely responsible for myself and no one else for a while.” To me that says he felt he couldn’t say yes to her bc of me. Also a few months back he said that if Angeluna Jolie approached him to have sex how could he say no?! These comments hurt me so much. It made me think that he still wants to play around. He’s 40! But yeah....I’m missing him like crazy. I’m leaving LA to go back home for a few weeks and he would always be the one to take me to the airport and pick me up and this time he won’t when I left LA last year we both cried and he had a meltdown. It was awful. Now I think he’s just decided to move on. He has Uranus on his Scorpio stellium of mars, Venus, moon. So yeah...
Anyway here’s the composite with transits at the time of the breakup. Thanks for taking a look and for listening. Feels good to get that out

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I read your post in the other thread and I feel for you!
You said he needs to fix himself... is it about him being a compulsive flirt? Was he always like this or he's acting out of character?

My take on your transits is this.... You've cVenus square Neptune and at the point of breakup, tVenus/Neptune are opposing cVenus with tVenus also squaring cNeptune. This is esp. significant as Neptune is your Dsc ruler. Both planets also made squares to Vesta which challenged devotion + tPluto/Saturn were opposing your Composite 5th ruler Jupiter causing stress to romantic feelings. But at the same time, tVenus/Neptune were applying sextile to Ceres, trine Jupiter so the feeling of love is still strong.

Right now tNeptune is still opposing cVenus which drags your feelings of disillusionment plus tPluto/Node/Saturn are squaring your cMoon-Pluto conjunction which threatens to tear your connection apart. These transits sound very painful.

posted May 07, 2019 04:26 AM            

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Originally posted by EmGem:
Oh girl.....painful yes..... I just can’t believe my luck with these damn transits. My heart hurts.
It’s all so unfair.
He’s always been a compulsive flirt. He admitted this to me. Had a porn addiction, sex addiction, now it’s alcohol. He is very aware of all this thanks to his sun/Pluto. He knows. He knows exactly how he self sabotages. I can’t handle that he flirts. That 5th house stellium also makes me feel unstable girl. I’m just at a loss because I love him so much...
He wants to see me before I leave on wed so we’ll see how that goes. I do need to protect my heart.

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Only he can help himself. You can't help him, dear. You need to step back because his actions will really hurt you. I think this trip is good for you... gives you space to recenter yourself.