posted October 21, 2019 04:43 PM            

This new guy seems slow and stable which I appreciate. I wanted to see if we had staying power and if he would be a long-term match for me so I did our syanstry. I noticed a ton of red in our connections and that our aspects created a giant square. Any insight on how that might manifest? I imagine this is not a good thing to have with someone....

posted October 21, 2019 09:28 PM            

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This relationship might deeply change your way to experience relationships and intimacy, so it looks like a little revolution for your own self-awareness and life...The Grand Square suggests this all might not play out exactly easy for you cause it can potentially become very intense in positive and in negative ways. In this intensity, restrictions and confrontantion can arise and you both look exposed in your own vulnerability. Such intensity might even be the cause of separation, as the Uranus conjunction opposite to your Mars/Chiron conjunct to his ASC/Chiron and square to the Moon conjunction is potentially a "destroyer" of the most positive emotional aspects of your relationship and you might find out not to be exactly on the same page as you expected sometimes.

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That was beautifully explained - I appreciate the insight as well as the really on-point explanation. We both have natal t-squares and have been through very deep depressing moments in life - his father died tragically when he was a teenager, I was sexually abused at a young age...these are things that I have never discussed with another person but as our relationship progresses, I feel more and more safe with him and more and more willing to open up about these things. Yes, vulnerability gets me everytime - part of the reason my last relationship exploded so badly was because I wasn't able to handle my vulnerability or the intensity of it. I hope things will work out better with this new guy, lol, but we shall see

Here is the composite if that helps!

posted October 21, 2019 10:48 PM            

Please take it with a grain of salt cause I see that the situation is very intense and you mirror each other a lot about some painful issues and you both have high expectations from this.

I was expecting an "easier" composite given the strong binding aspects of the synastry, but I believe that a Grand Cross is seldom an "easy" configuation...

The bond looks actually strong at the intimate/emotional level, with Venus square Pluto square Mars and Venus/Juno trine Moon in 7th house and sextile Jupiter, this is going to be quite powerful, if not overwhelming. Such an intensity might give you emotional instability rather than a stable one though, actually, cause I see Saturn/Ceres in 10th house square to Sun in 12th house... something might feel "out of reach" or "unsolved" between the two.

The cradle formed by Sun/Neptune/Pluto and Sun/Neptune/Mars shows that there is a potential but "vulnerable" stability, and this balance is given by the masculine energy of the Pluto/Mars opposition. This gives a very romantic and passionate energy, but it seems he would mainly rule the relationship and that you would be more exposed in this emotional dynamics.

In synastry I saw that you might feel very comfortable in opening up to each other, here in the Composite it seems that your past wounds that have affected your relationship sphere in the past can become highly exposed here in the long run, and you might actually not grasp whether he was as much open as you were, cause of the Neptune square Jupiter.

Here the most dangerous aspect I see is Uranus square Jupiter, cause this usually suggests an abrupt breakup.

posted October 22, 2019 12:14 AM            

I don't want to overstep, but for comparison I wondered if you had any insight on my most recent relationship which ended in January. Anything you can tell about what happened there would be interesting to know. If not that's ok

Synastry:

posted October 22, 2019 02:13 AM            

By the way, transiting Uranus is conjunct to the Composite Vesta/Mars, while transiting Nodes are square to Comp. Nodes, so you might feel this relationship is a turning point in your life at this moment, when you can finally leave your past behind... Transiting South Node will be conjunct to Neptune in late January, so that's when you might have a better idea of how this relationship is developing, you might have doubts and trust issues in that moment...

posted October 22, 2019 12:58 PM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
[B]As for your past relationship, honestly... it seems it was love at first sight or so, but even though committment was apparently there, it seems he wasnt so sure about it, there was the spark and feelings but also conflicts and he seemed to have other material priorities in his life, acted selfish and self-centered and likely hurted you. It looks like something that was supposed to last shortly and maybe lasted even too long, cause there was an idealization, but eventually it was more based on a sexual drive than emotional involvement on his part.

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This is basically exactly what happened. It was attraction at first sight for me - I saw him working outside the building where I work and gave him my number, which is something I never do. Things moved kind of quickly and we were dating exclusively within a week of our first date. I fell very hard for him and felt I had met the person I would finally settle down with. He did not seem to share my same viewpoints on relationships - he seemed more jaded and as though he didn't really value long-term connections. Even so, I thought that we would move forward because he acted committed to making things work btw us.

Eventually he became distant and he claimed to be working all the time - he worked on holidays, weekends...it seemed that was all he cared about. I started to feel abandoned and finally questioned him about it. A week later he started dating a female "friend" and ghosted me. She is 10 years older than him and was giving him money on the side to support him...which always made me uncomfortable. We reconnected months later and that's when I found out what really happened. He lied to me about seeing her (even though they are still together) and tried to deny that he ghosted me. It was deeply hurtful. I felt so betrayed. I also never saw it coming. He made me feel as though he truly loved me when we were together... Our breakup still bothers me today - it was so sudden. We were talking about moving in together and then boom...he was gone and with someone else.

quote:

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
[B]By the way, transiting Uranus is conjunct to the Composite Vesta/Mars, while transiting Nodes are square to Comp. Nodes, so you might feel this relationship is a turning point in your life at this moment, when you can finally leave your past behind... Transiting South Node will be conjunct to Neptune in late January, so that's when you might have a better idea of how this relationship is developing, you might have doubts and trust issues in that moment...

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So far I do definitely feel that I am at a turning point in my relationships. I feel I am leaving unhealthy or unbalanced connections behind and finding more dependable, real connections with men. He is the first man I've met that I feel has the same ideas about relationships and wants to live a similar life as I do - so I almost feel like he's not real, lol.

We are moving slow, so it has been a bit hard to really get to know him - he definitely keeps things close to his chest. I am looking forward to seeing what happens over the holidays especially. I truly hope that this is someone I can settle down with but honestly, I am very scared because I don't know that I can handle another dramatic breakup like the one I just had with my previous BF. I really hope new guy and I don't end up hurting each other but rather push through any potential roadblocks and develop a deeper level of intimacy and understanding - I'm ready for something serious.

posted October 22, 2019 03:19 PM            

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Eventually he became distant and he claimed to be working all the time - he worked on holidays, weekends...it seemed that was all he cared about. I started to feel abandoned and finally questioned him about it. A week later he started dating a female "friend" and ghosted me. She is 10 years older than him and was giving him money on the side to support him...which always made me uncomfortable. We reconnected months later and that's when I found out what really happened. He lied to me about seeing her (even though they are still together) and tried to deny that he ghosted me. It was deeply hurtful. I felt so betrayed. I also never saw it coming. He made me feel as though he truly loved me when we were together... Our breakup still bothers me today - it was so sudden. We were talking about moving in together and then boom...he was gone and with someone else.

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Looking at your charts I (unluckily) soon had the feeling that he didnt really care to seriously commit with you and that you felt "lonely" in this, even though there was an "apparent" committment... The Composite Jupiter quincunx to Neptune/Pluto looks like betrayal, for another more "convenient" relationship. His natal Pluto in 2nd house square to Jupiter suggests he has an opportunistic side and his choices can be based upon personal material convenience as a priority against emotional/romantic choices.

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So far I do definitely feel that I am at a turning point in my relationships. I feel I am leaving unhealthy or unbalanced connections behind and finding more dependable, real connections with men. He is the first man I've met that I feel has the same ideas about relationships and wants to live a similar life as I do - so I almost feel like he's not real, lol.

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In the synastry of the new relationship, the Chiron conjunction in your 7th house with Mars conjunct to his ASC, suggests that this relationship has an "healing" potential for you, and since your South Nodes are conjunct in Libra, it looks like a turning point from your past relationships for both of you.

The Vertex on the DSC with Sun in 12th house in Composite is a little tricky. This looks extremely fated and karmic, and this is why you say "I almost feel like he's not real"... the feeling that he keeps things inside and is not easily open will be there and will make you question his attitude, this might be the harsh point where your vulnerabilities can be exposed and arise trust issues.
You might feel that this all is powerful and healing for you, but something wont completely fulfill your expectations or sense for stability... his Uranus/Mercury is square to the Moons conjunction, so he might look distant and speaking another language sometimes, but keep in mind his natal Chiron is in Gemini opposite his Mercury and square his Moon, so this is a communicative block he has on his own or difficulty in completely opening up, and since this includes your Moon and that Grand Cross, this issue of his might affect the relationship.

posted October 22, 2019 10:13 PM            

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His natal Pluto in 2nd house square to Jupiter suggests he has an opportunistic side and his choices can be based upon personal material convenience as a priority against emotional/romantic choices.

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Ugh so depressing and heartless. I don't have his current girlfriend's birthtime, so I don't know whether this is something you can even answer, but I have always been curious if he left me for a more convenient relationship OR if he truly had feelings for the woman he left me for. I wondered if it would be possible to see that in their synastry / composite? If not, that's ok. I just thought I'd ask.

Synastry:

Composite:

In regards to my new guy...

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the feeling that he keeps things inside and is not easily open will be there and will make you question his attitude

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Yes this definitely is a vulnerability of mine. I notice that he already does as you said - "so he might look distant and speaking another language sometimes" - He does tend to drift off or appear to be distant in conversation or while we cuddle. Does he feel a sense of healing or karma from me as well? or will this be another one-sided relationship like my last one

My other concern was that his last relaionship ended 2 years ago and when it ended he sunk into a deep depression in which he needed to be medicated. I always wondered if my connection with him would be a strong one or if I would live in the shadow of his past relationship and never measure up. I, again, don't have her birthtime, but I do have her birth date and birth place if that helps.

Synastry:

Composite:

posted October 22, 2019 11:11 PM            

Let me tell you, the charts of your ex and his other relationship are a disaster... I don't think it will last too long. It mainly looks like a tossic bond. There is even a strong attraction, but his Jupiter square her Venus, his Saturn and Neptune square her Saturn, there is manipulation, deception, time-serving... in Composite, the Jupiter/Pluto midpoint is square to Neptune, this shows again that he's there for convenience and he also looks like a player with Neptune opposite Mars square Venus... even though there is a strong intimacy and she has devotion, Uranus and Saturn square Jupiter is going to destroy this relationship likely in short time.

Your actual guy's former relationship was significant, there were intense feelings, but there was some instability, they didnt seem to find a deep intimacy where they could feel at ease with each other emotionally, I cant say for her part cause we dont have her houses, he was committed but they didn't have a common purpose and the relationship had no clear direction cause Composite North Node is square to Neptune and with Jupiter square Neptune involved something was never clear between them, since Pluto is square to Mercury I assume there were communication problems. Since Jupiter is quincunx Pluto, even though without houses and ASC it's not easy (for me) to grasp more details, it seems she might have had a different direction in life that didnt match with your guy's expectations or so...

I think he does have strong expectations from this new relationship with you, since his Saturn is trine to your Venus/Jupiter conjunct to his North Node, and his Sun/Neptune/Juno in 7th house is conjunct to your Ceres/Neptune sextile your Pluto, and your Juno is also on his MC... The problem I see is that Composite Saturn is square to Ascendant/Sun and Jupiter is square to Uranus, so there might be a burden here from your past wounds that is going to have a weight and bring instability, since you say that he had such heavy issues after his breakup, with Pluto opposite Mars in the picture, this looks like he might be "scared" of a new intense relationship, of course I hope I'm wrong.

posted October 23, 2019 09:09 AM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:

this looks like a potentially very binding connection and long term, maybe even marriage.

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posted October 23, 2019 09:15 AM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
Let me tell you, the charts of your ex and his other relationship are a disaster... I don't think it will last too long. It mainly looks like a toxic bond.

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Well, I can't say I am surprised but (and I hate to admit this) but this does make me feel better about the whole thing. They are both manipulative and basic - their "friendship" consisted of her giving him money to hang out with her (not even joking) and him complaining about how irritating she was Gross. I'm still very hurt by the whole thing, but this helps remind me that my ex and I are two very different people - I would never treat my friends or lovers so poorly or use people like that.

quote:

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
Your actual guy's former relationship was significant...he was committed but they didn't have a common purpose and the relationship had no clear direction cause Composite North Node is square to Neptune and with Jupiter square Neptune involved something was never clear between them, since Pluto is square to Mercury I assume there were communication problems. Since Jupiter is quincunx Pluto, even though without houses and ASC it's not easy (for me) to grasp more details, it seems she might have had a different direction in life that didnt match with your guy's expectations or so...

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Wow - again I'm so impressed with what you are able to pick up from the charts...even with missing house information. This is exactly what happened between them (as far as I know anyway...again he's not super chatty lol) - they never found a common purpose together. She moved to a new city to pursue her professional passion. He had just started his own business and was trying to get that up and running - apparently they couldn't find a way to merge the two different life paths. She has been moving from city to city ever since and seems to want a more nomadic lifestyle. He is building a business and exploring entrepreneurial opportunities in our community. He is also super close to his family who lives here - I don't think he would have been happy following her from city to city. Yes, communication was clearly an issue because it seems once she left their relationship fell apart rather quickly - he admitted lack of communication was a key reason for that.

quote:

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
I think he does have strong expectations from this new relationship with you, since his Saturn is trine to your Venus/Jupiter conjunct to his North Node, and his Sun/Neptune/Juno in 7th house is conjunct to your Ceres/Neptune sextile your Pluto, and your Juno is also on his MC... The problem I see is that Composite Saturn is square to Ascendant/Sun and Jupiter is square to Uranus, so there might be a burden here from your past wounds that is going to have a weight and bring instability, since you say that he had such heavy issues after his breakup, with Pluto opposite Mars in the picture, this looks like he might be "scared" of a new intense relationship, of course I hope I'm wrong.

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Aw I understand. I am pretty scared as well, but at the end of the day, I hope that in spite of both of us being scared that we will choose to stay together and work it out.

I have been thinking about this a lot since you and I started talking about these things and I think it's clear my key issue from which all my insecurities stem from is a fear of abandonment. I have never been with a man that was consistent or supportive of me - every man I've dated until now has been emotionally unavailable, cheated, ghosted, and avoided a commitment with me at all cost. If this new guy at least TRIES to work things out with me and stays present in our relationship, I'll be miles ahead of where I have been lol.

Hopefully it works out, but we'll see what happens I am looking forward to January when I will apparently have a better sense of where this is going.

Again thank you for all of this! I'll pop by and update when things change. It'll be interesting to see how everything develops <3

posted October 23, 2019 09:29 AM            

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Originally posted by FmVenusWLove:
Aw, thanks again <3 This is so fun!

Ugh so depressing and heartless. I don't have his current girlfriend's birthtime, so I don't know whether this is something you can even answer, but I have always been curious if he left me for a more convenient relationship OR if he truly had feelings for the woman he left me for. I wondered if it would be possible to see that in their synastry / composite? If not, that's ok. I just thought I'd ask.

Synastry:

Composite:

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posted October 23, 2019 10:17 AM            

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Originally posted by FmVenusWLove:
She's 10 years older than he is and literally pays him to spend time with her - that's how they met and how their relationship has operated for 5 years. He has an healthy sense of entitlement with her and treats her poorly. She in turn manipulates him with money and threatens self-harm to get her way.

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posted October 23, 2019 11:06 AM            

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posted October 23, 2019 12:09 PM            

I read once that, because I have a natal t-square, I am in theory more comfortable in relationships that have more squares, which at least in my friendships is very true.

posted October 23, 2019 12:35 PM            

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I have been thinking about this a lot since you and I started talking about these things and I think it's clear my key issue from which all my insecurities stem from is a fear of abandonment. I have never been with a man that was consistent or supportive of me - every man I've dated until now has been emotionally unavailable, cheated, ghosted, and avoided a commitment with me at all cost. If this new guy at least TRIES to work things out with me and stays present in our relationship, I'll be miles ahead of where I have been lol.

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posted October 23, 2019 12:39 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Hi Stoika, learning here once again... which aspects point to this?

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Her Juno is conjunct his MC and his Juno falls in her 2nd house, and their Saturns are trine to her Venus/Jupiter conjunct his North Node, + Moon in 4th house conjunct Moon in 10 house. In Composite, they also have Venus/Juno sextile Jupiter (and MC), trine Moon 7th house.

posted October 25, 2019 11:18 AM            

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Your fear of abandonement is shown by your natal Chiron in 7th house square to your Moon, it seems some traumatic event gave you such a fear in your relationship sphere... you actually told me what it is :-( ...it can also come from your childhood though...
sphere... you actually told me what it is :-( ...it can also come from your childhood though...Unluckily this whole aspect/issue of yours is reflected in this relationship as well, cause it's included in that Grand Cross in synastry.

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It's probably both - I honestly did not have a great childhood. I know others who have had it way worse than I did so I'm not trying to have a pitty party, lol, but I would say that my present life is a million times more happy and emotionally healthy than my life when I was young and in my teens.

In any case, this seems to be a reoccurring issue for me as anyone that I feel connected to or enter into a relationship with usually somehow hits my Moon/Mars-Chiron/Saturn-Uranus. This new guy is not the first person I have had a Grand Cross with in synastry - I was with a man for about 2 years who had his Venus/Mars in Pisces and Moon in Sagittarius. My other 2 relationships were both Virgo suns with Pisces Moons.

I guess my question is, will I always encounter these kinds of issues because of that T-square? It seems every relationship I enter into there is always an element of instability and the risk that things might implode due to vulnerabilities and divisiveness (and many times it seems that they do actually play out that way)...I am wondering if this is inescapable because of these aspects in my natal.

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Your Chirons are conjunct in this, so both your issues come into play here, his Saturn is trine to your Venus and his Ceres is conjunct your ASC, so it seems he's supportive, but it depends on how his own issues have a weight here....Since you both come from harsh experiences and you have such an intense Chiron influence in your chart, I would suggest to "accept" each other's issues as much as you can, included the fact the he might struggle in opening up at the beginning or he looking "distant" sometimes.

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I know this might be difficult to get this from a chart, but I am curious if he will always be distant - does his distance mean he isn't 100% "in". If it takes him time and its a bit bumpy as he opens up, that's ok, but again there's that fear that I will be more invested/committed in our relationship than he will be - will I have to take the lead in the relationship or will we be equals? That 12H Chiron on his ASC makes me a little nervous because I have read that it makes people prefer to be loners because of their anxieties and inability to open up

posted November 07, 2019 04:30 PM            

If you're still reeling from the effects of a broken relationship you're not in the state of mind to understand this synastry or this man. Take a break and heal. Synastry can't help you while you're still on the rebound. Look at your own astrology and inform your own healing process.

posted November 09, 2019 11:19 AM            

Key is to focus on your Moon conjunct Moon - so that you re-group when Saturn may cause you to push one another away. Talk about issues when Chiron rises his wounded head. Since Chiron rules Virgo, you will be able to use your Moon sign to open up about your vulnerabilities.

A great relationship is not an accident, it's a choice and it takes a lot of work. Squares make growth more likely and keep the interest there, this synastry has the potential for a great, loving relationship :-)

Talk to HIM not us!!!

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