posted October 30, 2019 03:34 PM            

I have this unexpected chance to join an event on next december 11 where my "impossible love" will attend... !

Problem is... this is likely a unique chance to meet him since long time in a perfect familiar environment but the event is taking in another country, so whether I decide to not miss this chance I should take a flight and organize the trip and my stay in advance, i.e. soon !

My question is, how do transits to Composite look for that period? Are they favourable and should I go and meet him again ? Or is this going to turn out into a complete failure so better I give up?

(I'm shy and scared to annoy/embarrass him so I wouldnt even know exactly how to approach him unless the situation is somehow favourable...)

If I go, I dont expect anything to happen in terms of "relationship", I just wish to see him again and talk, I actually need especially to understand my OWN feelings and make peace with it once and for all. But if transits are not favourable, not worth the effort/trip, I will give up at this time.

I see transit nodes will be square to Composite Sun with tr Sun conjunct comp NN, even though there are other nice transits such as tr Mars (Grand) trine cMoon/trine cMercury conjunct tr Neptune and tr Jupiter trine Jupiter trine tr Uranus...

?

posted October 31, 2019 07:39 PM            

looking at the composite again, it certainly looks like a past life connection with the vertex on the descendent and opposed to pluto. but it may be that you were just peripherally known to each other.but ebeven with familiarity in a past life,it looks like a harsh connection with orucus/moon/Lilith conjunct, square to chiron. orcus adds to the likelihood this was a past life connection which may account for the spell this has put over you.the chiron square though emphasizes the contentious nature of this past life interaction.
with venus square to Uranus, the sexual/emotional component is very intense but not stable. it is not difficult to see a violent past life here.

(edited)

todd

posted October 31, 2019 09:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by todd:
hi Stoika7
well the first I noticed is your Uranus will be square the transiting node on dec 11 by a few arc minutes... so I think you will go no matter what the transits say.

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ahah! Well, I'm strongly tempted, but it wont be so easy in any case for me to travel in that period, so I am still having doubts, but we'll see...

quote:

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Originally posted by todd:
orcus is square to pluto and square to Saturn and Sedna. with the midpoint of orcus and pluto square to the node and to eros. so again there is a dark repressed emotional aspect with a strong sense of cruelty.

Uranus is conjunct the moon and square to the vertex which looks like arguments to me.`so far this period is very bipolar and likely confrontational.

in addition the nessus /vertex midpoint is conjunct mars and opposed to ixion EXACTLY on the ascendant. it aspect forces me to tell you to not go. the exact aspect means that ill feelings and likely violent tendencies would surface.

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oh my... cruetly?! I cant see the reason for cruelty and what could possibly cause this !!
and also... "ill feelings and likely violent tendencies would surface", we're both very peaceful people... and nothing bad ever happened between us, cept for the fact that he stopped being in contact after he dated his new girfriend... so I'm very puzzled and dont know what to say/expect !

Could it just be that he would prefer not to meet me and he might be annoyed or so ?
In that case, I obviously would be disappointed, but if he looks unwilling to talk to me, I would just avoid him and that's all...

quote:

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Originally posted by todd:
I think there was a past life connection here but it was very dark and dangerous and I again suggest you forget trying to get to the bottom of this.

todd

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I guess I wouldnt have any way to do so in any case... but if so then, why I am so endlessly in love with him... ? :-(

posted October 31, 2019 10:47 PM            

The thing that primarily catches my eye is transit Chiron conjunct the composite IC and opposite composite Pluto. Might be healing, might be painful, might resolve some issues, might bring up new traumas.. Chiron tends to be a mixed bag in that way.

The transiting Eros/Venus/Saturn/Pluto conjunction opposite the Moon, the ruler of the composite's 8th house, seems sort of rife for drama as well. The Moon is so gorgeous and at home in Cancer, and functions so well in the 7th, but here you have malefics like Saturn and Pluto pummeling it, as well as a dour Venus in Capricorn making hard aspects. This is all also happening into the first house which reiterates the sense of drama I get on this particular day.

The transiting nodes will be almost exactly square the c.Sun/Pluto opposition, so I can see why you are drawn to this particular date, there seems to be this karmic, fated Siren's song that is alluring you both on some subconscious level..

posted October 31, 2019 11:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by athenaia:
Hey Stoika! So not an expert by any means, but I get the sense that the transits to your midpoint composite are a little fraught on this particular date?

The thing that primarily catches my eye is transit Chiron conjunct the composite IC and opposite composite Pluto. Might be healing, might be painful, might resolve some issues, might bring up new traumas.. Chiron tends to be a mixed bag in that way.

The transiting Eros/Venus/Saturn/Pluto conjunction opposite the Moon, the ruler of the composite's 8th house, seems sort of rife for drama as well. The Moon is so gorgeous and at home in Cancer, and functions so well in the 7th, but here you have malefics like Saturn and Pluto pummeling it, as well as a dour Venus in Capricorn making hard aspects. This is all also happening into the first house which reiterates the sense of drama I get on this particular day.

The transiting nodes will be almost exactly square the c.Sun/Pluto opposition, so I can see why you are drawn to this particular date, there seems to be this karmic, fated Siren's song that is alluring you both on some subconscious level..

Transiting Jupiter is square transiting Chriron on the c. IC/MC axis so... could also be healing if both of you are super high functioning and healed from your past?

---

Hi athenaia, thank you soo much for your take on this !! ❤️

posted October 31, 2019 11:43 PM            

Honestly, I say go for it. You need closure and you seem to be very honest with yourself so I don't think anything dramatic will happen since you're very in control of your cognitions. The transiting nodes square the composite Sun/Pluto is probably a sign - you're dying to transform, you itch to change the course of your life, and this event seems a really tangible way to do so.

Really so crazy how I have gone through something similar. There are times I have thought, "I just need to physically SEE this person one more time, they exist too much as a fantasy in my head, once I see them in the flesh it will break the spell".

posted November 01, 2019 12:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenaia:
I see! Thank you for explaining the situation to me, I understand all too well the feeling you're experiencing.. funnily enough I met someone with a very similar impact on me (also a chaste relationship) 4 years ago (2015) so how spooky. Your guy has the same birthday as me, just a different year (May 16th!)

Honestly, I say go for it. You need closure and you seem to be very honest with yourself so I don't think anything dramatic will happen since you're very in control of your cognitions. The transiting nodes square the composite Sun/Pluto is probably a sign - you're dying to transform, you itch to change the course of your life, and this event seems a really tangible way to do so.

Really so crazy how I have gone through something similar. There are times I have thought, "I just need to physically SEE this person one more time, they exist too much as a fantasy in my head, once I see them in the flesh it will break the spell".

But sometimes seeing them only makes it worse. At least for me. But I have a pretty Neptunian chart. Whatever you do, I wish you healing from this situation in whatever way is most beneficial to you <3

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OMG athenaia !!! What a weird synchronicity do we have here ?? Sorry, I am so impressed, since I also have a crazy telepathic connection with this person, with recurring crazy synchronicites... and now you, born in the same day (even if a different year, but... ! ), you had a similar experience with a similar timing...!!!

And then... are you saying that even a Taurus person can have such a platonic love ?!
Please please tell me, you are born his same day so maybe you can really help in this ! WHY did he ghost me ?! This question is haunting me since three years :-(
After we met, our weird telepathic connection started... a lot of unbelievable coincidences... until I found his house one day without knoowing at all where he lived, in a different city and country than the one I live...! So I couldnt help to leave my last record at his door (we're both musicians) and a quick note... after I did so, he went to check me on facebook and found my last message but, I swear God I dont know why, he accepted the message but soon after blocked the thing, i.e. I wasnt able to send him a PM anymore :-(
I just heard those days he had a new gf.

Is this harsh reaction a Taurus can have as a "self-protection" against their own feelings for someone...?

Or, he was just simply annoyed by me for whatever reason? (of course how can you know? but being born the same day, maybe you can understand his reaction better than me? I can show you his natal if you like!)

Since then, three years ago, I never met him again but our weird telepathy never ended and I kept receving "signs" of this...

I'm glad you can understand... I just need to know, if he's mad at me for some reason, if he's indifferent, if he has feelings, if he had my same "signs" of our mind connection, cause I'm going crazy about this... so, as you perfectly said, I need to understand if he's just a fantasy, if he really exists, if I completely misunderstood his feelings for me or what... I'm not finding peace otherwise, even though facing the truth might be tough, but otherwise this is just all "undone", unsolved somehow, and keeps haunting me forever......

Thank you so much for your words!

posted November 01, 2019 12:16 AM            

But yes it's absolutely possible for Taurus to have a platonic obsession, though very difficult as of course Taurus is a very sensual, salt-of-the-earth type of sign who loves to live in the present, but Neptune aspects (among others) can alter this!

posted November 01, 2019 12:18 AM            

Nothing's gonna happen between you and him. I'm not sure what kinda feelings you both had in the past but clearly this person has moved on and so should you. I'm sorry to sound harsh but keep repeating this to yourself and stay strong!

When I broke up with my ex, I missed him constantly for 3yrs... until the day I met him again (with palpitation, cold sweat etc) and guess what? After that I realised that I was ready to move on... and I did. So yes, sometimes a final meeting is what you need to give you a push. If you need to cry after that, just cry it out and then put it behind you.

posted November 01, 2019 12:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
until I found his house one day without knoowing at all where he lived, in a different city and country than the one I live...! So I couldnt help to leave my last record at his door (we're both musicians) and a quick note... after I did so, he went to check me on facebook and found my last message but, I swear God I dont know why, he accepted the message but soon after blocked the thing, i.e. I wasnt able to send him a PM anymore :-(
I just heard those days he had a new gf.

---

Did you say you accidentally found his house and left something at his door? That's a little spooky, haha... Him having a gf (now wife) will be one big reason he stops talking to you. Taurus can be quite focused on one mate. How far did your friendship go, anyway? Close or just hi/bye acquaintance?

posted November 01, 2019 12:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
^ Stoika, you sound like you've been under a spell ! Fxxk care what the transits say and just go, I say. I agree you need closure on this and quick.

Nothing's gonna happen between you and him. I'm not sure what kinda feelings you both had in the past but clearly this person has moved on and so should you. I'm sorry to sound harsh but keep repeating this to yourself and stay strong!

When I broke up with my ex, I missed him constantly for 3yrs... until the day I met him again (with palpitation, cold sweat etc) and guess what? After that I realised that I was ready to move on... and I did. So yes, sometimes a final meeting is what you need to give you a push. If you need to cry after that, just cry it out and then put it behind you.

So go for this event and stay calm... say 'hi' when you see him and be cool as a cucumber. Oh, and remember to look your best! 💃 Your heart will be sparkling again soon like this one - 💖 I guarantee you.

---

Thank you darling! ❤️
Oh, you're not harsh at all... I have been telling myself these things all the time and even worse than this, so I mean... it's just reasonable!

But yes... you know what I mean (you also a Taurus! and my Taurus moon agrees with you!) that I need to see him "physically" in order to move on or whatever it is it doesnt matter, it has to be real, not a "spell" !!

Well, he certainly moved on, even though I dont even know if he had anything to move on from, lol, but he got married... and this wasnt enough for me to forget him :-( cause he's a "ghost" !! So I need to see him again, no matter what, and face it.

I'm not sure yet if I'll make it to go this time, and that is why I am looking at transits... they're not so clear and likely not favourable, but look intense and karmic... Todd's says I will go in any case, lol

posted November 01, 2019 12:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
Thank you darling! ❤️
Oh, you're not harsh at all... I have been telling myself these things all the time and even worse than this, so I mean... it's just reasonable!

But yes... you know what I mean (you also a Taurus! and my Taurus moon agrees with you!) that I need to see him "physically" in order to move on or whatever it is it doesnt matter, it has to be real, not a "spell" !!

Well, he certainly moved on, even though I dont even know if he had anything to move on from, lol, but he got married... and this wasnt enough for me to forget him :-( cause he's a "ghost" !! So I need to see him again, no matter what, and face it.

I'm not sure yet if I'll make it to go this time, and that is why I am looking at transits... they're not so clear and likely not favourable, but look intense and karmic... Todd's says I will go in any case, lol

---

posted November 01, 2019 12:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenaia:
I would love to see his natal chart if you would like to post it! It would be much better for me to understand the "kind" of Taurus he is (I'm kind of a weird one since I have so many different aspects to my Sun)

But yes it's absolutely possible for Taurus to have a platonic obsession, though very difficult as of course Taurus is a very sensual, salt-of-the-earth type of sign who loves to live in the present, but Neptune aspects (among others) can alter this!

I think your gesture was extremely sweet, I almost doubt it could have offended him unless he was already dating the girl at the time, she saw the message, and reacted poorly to it..? That's my best guess for now..

---

I agree! And, he's such a sensitive guy/artist I cant imagine him being annoyed or offended by me leaving my record for him...!
I honestly dont have a clue if his gf might be linked to this, but as soon as he accpeted my message on fb he blocked it right away and I was online right at that moment, so I had the feeling it was him... btw, this is just nothing compared to all the weird things happened between us...

In any case, I post his natal and our synastry, whether you'd like to check and give any further advice, thank you so much!

❤️ 🙏

His Natal Chart

Synastry

posted November 01, 2019 12:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Sometimes when I feel confused I just listen to the voice in my heart. When I met my ex again, he was with his then gf. Strange, I didn't feel exceptionally jealous when I saw her (haha). What just went through my mind was "Ok, this is really over...". So, I'll help you pack your bags.

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posted November 01, 2019 01:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Did you say you accidentally found his house and left something at his door? That's a little spooky, haha... Him having a gf (now wife) will be one big reason he stops talking to you. Taurus can be quite focused on one mate. How far did your friendship go, anyway? Close or just hi/bye acquaintance?

Btw I'm curious to see your synastry... can I?

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Oh sorry, I had missed this one from you!

Yes, I found his house incredibly accidentally, one night, and it was at five minutes from my place... I had been staying in that place, in a foreign town, for twenty days, dreaming of him, and didnt even imagine he was so close... one day, he posted a picture of his house gate and just one day later I accidentally saw this gate and remembered that he had posted the same gate on instagram... I looked at the window and he was right there...! I cant describe you what I felt... it was like magic or so. I had been dreaming of him for one year after our first meeting and then I found him again by such a crazy synchronicity...

Btw, we just had one only significant meeting, chatting for hours one night, and it was very... intense. Then, soon in few days I left and took a flight back home. He searched me on Facebook and we just said hi on there a few times and that's all... until I found his house and left my record.

I dont know. For me, if another musican who I have been talking to for one night in such an intense and lovely way, left me his record at my door, I would be happy instead. But I can only speak for myself...

Yes, Taurus is like that and I have always thought that was the reason... but he actually "blocked" my message, that was too harsh for me and I honestly didnt like it, I mean, there was no reason to be harsh (and, in his shoes, I would say thank you for the record, btw!)

posted November 01, 2019 01:19 AM            

Certainly seems mutual with his Sun/Eros almost exactly conjunct your Moon, and his Moon right on your SN.

BTW, you're an Aqua Sun with a Taurus Moon - I'm a Taurus Sun with an Aqua Moon!

His Venus is square your Pluto, usually that's a good signifier for attraction/obsession..

His Pluto opposite your Mars, definitely an erotic allure here. I have this aspect with my exboyfriend (me being the Pluto and he the Mars) and I could not have been more obsessed with making him mine and pursuing him.

Mars trine Mars is very hot..

I suppose the "worst" thing about this synastry is your beautiful Sun/Venus/Juno opposite his Mars, which in turn squares that gorgeous Sun/Moon conjunction in Taurus.

Your entire sense of self (Sun/Moon) is being oppressed by him (Saturn) simply by him exerting even the smallest ounce of his will. It's something that is clearly very wounding.

It could be that t. Uranus right now on your natal Saturn has you wanting to take on the Saturnian role for a change and finally make sense of this since you have not had closure.

This also makes itself present in the Composite with early Taurus Vertex/Chiron/Mercury. There is a dire need for communication and healing, and t. Uranus retrograding back over this point creates an urgency that definitely seems karmic in nature.

I believe he completes a grand trine with his Neptune, and his Mars, with your own natal Mars, so there is a dreamy sense of wholeness, of completion, that he offers via his expression of masculinity (his music? Mars/Neptune)

I would say that the connection feels so heavy for you because he doesn't aspect your 5th - that sense of sweetness, irreverence, fun, is not filled in with his planets - right away he fills in your 7th house of partnership with his Moon (on your DSC/SN at that!), and his Pluto/NN/ASC falls into your 7th as well, so right away he gives off "boyfriend" energy, and his persona (ASC) and destiny (NN) resonates so much with your psyche that this could also help create your understanding of the synchronicities between you both, you're very "tuned in" to that with your 7th being so heavily occupied

Then of course his Venus is in your 4th, hovering close to your IC, so the warmth of his affection when you had it is an utterly haunting thing because it was so enormous and healing in its scope for you, probably touched on a lot of "inner child" themes that you could have an instinctual feel that it needed to be healed and that he had access to this kind of liberation for you

Plus his Venus is trine your Sun/Venus/Juno so his attention felt extremely adoring and in line with your own style of affection, creating a wonderful affinity between you both

I can understand your obsession, this all feels very karmic and like the synastry SHOULD been seen through, how could it not? With all this potential? It feels like it goes against nature to "throw it away" with a marriage to someone else, like God's script was thrown in the trash and there is an inherent unfairness in that

Your empty 5th house has another solution - your 5th is ruled by your Moon. Well your Moon gets attention from his 9th house ruler, the Sun, but again we see that fixed t-square involving your Sun/Venus/Juno and Saturn. So the lightness of the 5th was never going to be resolved, and often the 5th is where romance "begins" and there are a lot of obstacles to get there and have your Moon get some breathing room to flourish the romance

As for his chart.. Sun in the 8th, this is a very loyal man, super stubborn (fixed Sun in a fixed house), the Sun's closest aspect is a square to Saturn in another fixed sign (Leo), so when he makes a decision he STICKS to it for life, and for better or for worse.

Venus in Gemini is classically flighty, double so in the 9th house of Sagittarius, triply so with the opposition from Neptune.. so loyalty could have a different meaning to him if you catch my drift here. This is the ruler of that stubborn sun and 8th house and here we have a VERY mutual planet.

Moon in Virgo in the 11th, he's a picky guy. Seems that one has to be his friend for a very long time until they can receive girlfriend status, and even then he has very particular tastes (whatever this means for him, did he marry a foreigner? I get that vibe)

The ruler of his 7th is Mars in the 10th, so I would imagine he goes for a professional, straight laced kind of woman who is also "the star of the show", the belle of the ball, a classic conventional beauty with little elements of bohemian living (his Venus)

His Venus and Moon are square by sign, not by aspect, so what he loves versus what he's attracted to are very difficult for him to reconcile, it's probably rather agonizing for him as he's quite a "whole" person who may have grown up in a harmonious, nuclear family himself (Sun trine Moon by sign not by aspect)

posted November 01, 2019 01:41 AM            

You do seemed to be matching his 7th better with your 1H Mars conj his DSC trine his DSC ruler/Neptune and opposite his Pluto. But for a r/s to form usually the 5th has to be activated. I've seen a Synastry in one of the old LL threads where the woman's 5th was not strongly activated by the man but her 7th was. It took her a long time to eventually consider him as a potential partner.

While on your side, your 5th ruler is Moon and it conjuncts his Sun/Eros! That's a very strong connection especially for you. He also has Jupiter in Cancer conjunct your 5th cusp and it trines your ASC/Jupiter, sextile Saturn. Your Moon also squares his Saturn which is again an attraction even though a difficult one. On this note, I'm curious how Moon feels as my Saturn also squares my guy's Moon. Do you guys feel that the Saturn person is oblivious to your feelings? I find myself often doubting his feelings and wonder if he may feel sad when I do that?

His Moon matches your DSC and conjunct it as well as your SN. This is a very strong connection especially for you since it's your DSC and your Node. You have Pluto in 7th and he's matching it with his Pluto conj ASC.

posted November 01, 2019 02:55 AM            

Sorry, I need to quote step by step to comment some of this wonderful reading...

quote:

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Originally posted by athenaia:
Oh he is VERY Neptunian! Neptune opposite Venus, trine Mars, and sexile his ASC/Pluto, extremely possible for a man like this to have a longtime platonic obsession, especially with Pluto on his ASC (Scorpionic flavoring, a keen analytical sense of others) and this is bolstered by his Sun in the 8th. Can't imagine that your gift would have offended a Scorpionic/Nepunian guy such as this.. unless he didn't have feelings for you, but the synastry is lovely!

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Yes, he's somehow very Neptunian and since he also works in the movie industry, I always thought this neptunian trait had to do with his artistic talents, both music and cinema, also traveling a lot for work (Neptune in 3rd house Sagittarius trine to Mars 10th house Leo!)... but since he's a Taurus with Moon in Virgo, I didnt expect him to possibly have a platonic obsession... now that I read your take, I believe it's possible!

quote:

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Certainly seems mutual with his Sun/Eros almost exactly conjunct your Moon, and his Moon right on your SN.

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Yes, I believe this is the strongest aspect we have and it's very karmic. I felt this aspect intensely when I spent time with him, the closeness and sense of intimacy was just spontaneous and so familiar, as if we had just been intimate since million years (even without being TOO intimate, lol)

quote:

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BTW, you're an Aqua Sun with a Taurus Moon - I'm a Taurus Sun with an Aqua Moon!

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OMG, we're definitely soulmates athenaia !! 😍

quote:

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His Venus is square your Pluto, usually that's a good signifier for attraction/obsession..

His Pluto opposite your Mars, definitely an erotic allure here. I have this aspect with my exboyfriend (me being the Pluto and he the Mars) and I could not have been more obsessed with making him mine and pursuing him.

Mars trine Mars is very hot..

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YES! Or... this is what I have been feeling so intensely since four years, from my part at least... so why... why didnt he pursue me ?! (sorry, just ranting to myself...)

quote:

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I suppose the "worst" thing about this synastry is your beautiful Sun/Venus/Juno opposite his Mars, which in turn squares that gorgeous Sun/Moon conjunction in Taurus.

Your entire sense of self (Sun/Moon) is being oppressed by him (Saturn) simply by him exerting even the smallest ounce of his will. It's something that is clearly very wounding.

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Exactly! This is what I am convinced about. I believe especially his Saturn has "blocked" our best emotional and lovely aspects in an abrupt way (exactly what has happened), together with the lack of his planets in my 5th that you mention later!
Unfortunately, this looks "doomed" to me...
:-(
The Mars opposition and square is a little wider and I think it is "hotter" than challenging, with our Mars trine Mars... the Composite Mars is harsh though, forming the Grand Cross with Mercury and Neptune... so, together with his Saturn square to our Sun/Moon, it really suggests me of a potential powerful but "unattainable" love :-(

quote:

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It could be that t. Uranus right now on your natal Saturn has you wanting to take on the Saturnian role for a change and finally make sense of this since you have not had closure.

This also makes itself present in the Composite with early Taurus Vertex/Chiron/Mercury. There is a dire need for communication and healing, and t. Uranus retrograding back over this point creates an urgency that definitely seems karmic in nature.

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This is very interesting... it sounds like transit Uranus (my beloved Uranus!) is here to help me fight against the Saturn block !! So... maybe there's no solution, but still a rebellion against the block ! I love this :-D

quote:

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I believe he completes a grand trine with his Neptune, and his Mars, with your own natal Mars, so there is a dreamy sense of wholeness, of completion, that he offers via his expression of masculinity (his music? Mars/Neptune)

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Completely true... I adore his voice when he sings, I adore any artistic or non artistic expression of him 🥰

And, we have a strong artistic link, btw !

quote:

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I would say that the connection feels so heavy for you because he doesn't aspect your 5th - that sense of sweetness, irreverence, fun, is not filled in with his planets - right away he fills in your 7th house of partnership with his Moon (on your DSC/SN at that!), and fills in your 8th with his Pluto/NN/ASC, so right away he gives off "boyfriend" energy, and his persona (ASC) and destiny (NN) resonates so much with your psyche that this could also help create your understanding of the synchronicities between you both, you're very "tuned in" to that with your 8th being so heavily occupied

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This is also so true and I hadnt considered this, acttually, but makes so much sense... that is why I probably feel him as "the one" right away, my eternal groom... should I have asked him to marry me right away that night, with no dating stage at all. lol. but seriously, it feels like that, even though he has a great sense of humor and he's very outgoing, so it's not hard for anyone to just have fun with him... Btw, now that you say so, I notice that our Composite 5th house is empty as well :-(

quote:

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Then of course his Venus is in your 4th, hovering close to your IC, so the warmth of his affection when you had it is an utterly haunting thing because it was so enormous and healing in its scope for you, probably touched on a lot of "inner child" themes that you could have an instinctual feel that it needed to be healed and that he had access to this kind of liberation for you

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So true again ❤️ He has encouraged me and inspired me a lot in writing and publishing two books that literally saved my life in a moment that I was struggling with heavy health issues... he gave me a huge drive, not only creatively, but in finding and giving a new sense to my life and my battle against my severe condition. I am not even sure I would still be alive without meeting him... this is also the reason why I can't detach from him and cant find that closure. He was very important in my healing path and somehow saved my life... also, the "inner child" theme you mention is so true, cause in those books I wrote, encouraged by him or my love for him somehow, I found this sense of my childhood in a "romantic" way somehow, something that I have never experienced before... and you have put this all so beautifully !

quote:

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Plus his Venus is trine your Sun/Venus/Juno so his attention felt extremely adoring and in line with your own style of affection, creating a wonderful affinity between you both

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Yes! And I would add to this is Moon on my DSC/SN... same feeling. And I really had the feeling this was mutual... :-(

quote:

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I can understand your obsession, this all feels very karmic and like the synastry SHOULD been seen through, how could it not? With all this potential? It feels like it goes against nature to "throw it away" with a marriage to someone else, like God's script was thrown in the trash and there is an inherent unfairness in that

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What to say... 😢 this is what I have been crying for all these years... I mean, exactly as you have put it.

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Your empty 5th house has another solution - your 5th is ruled by your Moon. Well your Moon gets attention from his 9th house ruler, the Sun, but again we see that fixed t-square involving your Sun/Venus/Juno and Saturn. So the lightness of the 5th was never going to be resolved, and often the 5th is where romance "begins" and there are a lot of obstacles to get there and have your Moon get some breathing room to flourish the romance

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Even though the weird thing is that I have never felt SO romantic about someone before, I mean "foolishly" romantic! In a teenager dreamy state or so... Maybe cause my Venus falls in his 5th instead.

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As for his chart.. Sun in the 8th, this is a very loyal man, super stubborn (fixed Sun in a fixed house), the Sun's closest aspect is a square to Saturn in another fixed sign (Leo), so when he makes a decision he STICKS to it for life, and for better or for worse.

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Yes!! I had the exact feeling of THIS as soon as he blocked my messages! It was horrible :-(
But when talking to me, he was kidding on how "inflexible" he is, even mentioning his ex gf making jokes about him being ridiculously inflexible!

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Moon in Virgo in the 11th, he's a picky guy. Seems that one has to be his friend for a very long time until they can receive girlfriend status, and even then he has very particular tastes (whatever this means for him, did he marry a foreigner? I get that vibe)

The ruler of his 7th is Mars in the 10th, so I would imagine he goes for a professional, straight laced kind of woman who is also "the star of the show", the belle of the ball, a classic conventional beauty with little elements of bohemian living (his Venus)

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Very true!!! He always says that his three longtime gf were also always longtime "friends"... Yes, he has very particular tastes, he doesnt really like the "classic" beautie, women need to have a strong personality in order to intrigue him and also particular look.

YES! He married a foreigner woman... not the belle of the ball classic beautie at all, but straight laced and bohemian. his ex gf were foreigners (well... I am foreigner as well, lol ! ) and funny thing is that they were all Libra women with Taurus Moon! Cause of his Libra ASC ?

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His Venus and Moon are square by sign, not by aspect, so what he loves versus what he's attracted to are very difficult for him to reconcile, it's probably rather agonizing for him as he's quite a "whole" person who may have grown up in a harmonious, nuclear family himself (Sun trine Moon by sign not by aspect)

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Yes he grew up in a very harmonious family and they also encouraged him towards his artistc talent and career since he was young...

This is very interesting... What do you exactly mean by "what he loves versus what he's attracted to are very difficult for him to reconcile" ?
As if... what attracts him does not always give him emotions or he just has some conventional standard he follows but it is not exactly what he's deeply attracted by ?

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So all in all... I am leaning towards the feeling being mutual to be honest with you. When he blocked you it could have been some ethical, moral obligation of "loyalty" for his girlfriend, or perhaps he was not ready to embrace the age gap in spite of the connection/attraction, seems to be a small thing in the grand scheme of the chemistry that is present here

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My feeling is more about his loyality, even though nothing ever happened between us, so I am still there wondering like a fool, "does this mean he had feelings or just didnt care at all ?! " :-(

I dont think he has problems with the age gap... It's not so wide and I look at least ten years younger (this is what people always tell me at least and none believes my true age, lol !)

Sorry for making this so long, but you put things so well that I couldnt help to comment!!

I cant thank you enough!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Even though... this all likely will just remain an impossible love 😢

If you have time/will, I'd love to hear your take on the Composite chart. But I dont want to take advantage of your kindness!! You said already so much and helped me greatly!

🙏🙏🙏

posted November 01, 2019 03:07 AM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
^Stoika, darling. You don't seem to be activating his 5th ruler (it only has a quincunx to your Mars) even though you have all those planets matching his 5th cusp... maybe that's why he wasn't spurred to start a romance with you.

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Yes but... my Venus falls on his 5th 😢 and my Sun/Juno on his Aqua 4th 😢

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While on your side, your 5th ruler is Moon and it conjuncts his Sun/Eros! That's a very strong connection especially for you. He also has Jupiter in Cancer conjunct your 5th cusp and it trines your ASC/Jupiter, sextile Saturn. Your Moon also squares his Saturn which is again an attraction even though a difficult one. On this note, I'm curious how Moon feels as my Saturn also squares my guy's Moon. Do you guys feel that the Saturn person is oblivious to your feelings? I find myself often doubting his feelings and wonder if he may feel sad when I do that?

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I feel that his Saturn square completely blocked him, as if he "forced" himself to erase whatever he felt for me 😢

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His Moon matches your DSC and conjunct it as well as your SN. This is a very strong connection especially for you since it's your DSC and your Node. You have Pluto in 7th and he's matching it with his Pluto conj ASC.

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This is "the spell"... together with Pluto square Venus!

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Something I've noticed is we often attract (or are attracted to) people with personal planets matching our Vertex signs, and I noticed this happens even if the planet does not conjunct our Vertex (it seems that being in the same sign is enough). His Moon in Virgo matches your Vertex sign even though they're not conjunct and your Taurus Moon matches his Taurus Vertex, isn't that amazing? My Vertex in Libra also matches my guy's Moon in Libra and his Vertex in Taurus matches my Sun. If you and him were to be in a r/s, it can create a 'we-are-meant-for-each-other' feeling, just like what it did to me and my guy.

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This, I believe, is why we have a telepathic connection full of synchronicities! Well, I do feel that 'we-are-meant-for-each-other' since the start, lol

posted November 01, 2019 03:26 AM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
Yes but... my Venus falls on his 5th 😢 and my Sun/Juno on his Aqua 4th 😢

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I'm not sure if house overlay alone is strong enough as I've heard of people saying it does nothing for them if their ruler is barely aspected. 4th isn't a romantic house... more familiarity and comfort.

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I feel that his Saturn square completely blocked him, as if he "forced" himself to erase whatever he felt for me 😢

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I guess Saturn can react this way as it has happened to me before as Saturn, and it makes the Moon person feel "rejected".

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This is "the spell"... together with Pluto square Venus!

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Yes, and Pluto square Venus! But sorry to say I don't like this aspect. It can cause people to be crazily obsessed.

posted November 01, 2019 04:42 AM            

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I'm not sure if house overlay alone is strong enough as I've heard of people saying it does nothing for them if their ruler is barely aspected. 4th isn't a romantic house... more familiarity and comfort.

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True but since my Venus in his 5th is trine to his Venus (together with Sun/Juno on his Aqua house, so same as 5th ruler, trine to his Venus as well... ?), I think this are still relevant aspects to his 5th (and in general romantic terms), in the big picture... I mean, I'm not sure an house ruler on its own tells everything, when you have other meaningful aspects ... of course this doesnt change the reality that there was no romantic start (yet ? lol)

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I guess Saturn can react this way as it has happened to me before as Saturn, and it makes the Moon person feel "rejected".

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Really? You mean you had this same aspect (Saturn square Moon) with someone you had feelings for but for other reasons you had to suppress your feelings and reject him? Or you just didnt have "enough" feelings ?

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Yes, and Pluto square Venus! But sorry to say I don't like this aspect. It can cause people to be crazily obsessed.

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I obviously dont like it either when feelings are one sided or just impossible to be expressed in a relationship... it's a torture!!
But I had this with the two biggest loves of my life and it was... powerful and intense. Incredible. Maybe my Aries Mars really loves this when this happens... when it's mutual love, you are really "madly" in love with each other.

posted November 01, 2019 05:19 AM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
True but since my Venus in his 5th is trine to his Venus (together with Sun/Juno on his Aqua house, so same as 5th ruler, trine to his Venus as well... ?), I think this are still relevant aspects to his 5th (and in general romantic terms), in the big picture... I mean, I'm not sure an house ruler on its own tells everything, when you have other meaningful aspects ... of course this doesnt change the reality that there was no romantic start (yet ? lol)

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But his 5th ruler Uranus is practically unaspected. Can't help but think that this is a major thing for him if not why he didn't pursue you? Anyway, different things work for different people but I would think activating the ruler is a basic.

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Really? You mean you had this same aspect (Saturn square Moon) with someone you had feelings for but for other reasons you had to suppress your feelings and reject him? Or you just didnt have "enough" feelings ?

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My Saturn square my guy's Moon and they're both our 8th house rulers so while it's a difficult aspect, it's still an attraction factor. As Saturn, sometimes I can get so upset with him I "close up" my feelings and become cold, refusing to talk to him or even look at him (I've blocked him before too). There are also times I won't believe him when he expresses his emotions so he feels rejected when I react this way.

It's not true that Saturn doesn't have feelings for Moon. In fact, Saturn cares a lot about how Moon feels but Saturn often reacts critically. In my case, I need Moon to be absolutely clear about his affections for me without any bit of doubt.

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I obviously dont like it either when feelings are one sided or just impossible to be expressed in a relationship... it's a torture!!
But I had this with the two biggest love of my life and it was... powerful and intense. Incredible. Maybe my Aries Mars really loves this when this happens... when it's mutual love, you are really "madly" in love with each other.

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I don't know... I had this aspect with my 1st boyfriend (plus Pluto square Moon) and it was horrible horrible... Madly in love, yes, but also BLINDLY. He enjoyed torturing me...I was under his thumb but I couldn't get out... it's like I was enjoying the torture. I lost 5kg. I rejected countless nice men because of him. So blind. When I finally left him it felt like I woke up from a nightmare.

posted November 01, 2019 05:55 AM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
But his 5th ruler Uranus is practically unaspected. Can't help but think that this is a major thing for him if not why he didn't pursue you? Anyway, different things work for different people but I would think activating the ruler is a basic.

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Of course this is very possible and a good explanation! And the quincunx to my Mars is not good at all...

Oh, I didnt understand you were talking about your current rs about Saturn square Moon!
I see now what you mean... so, it is challenging somehow, but not impossible to work on ? :-)

Yes, well... Pluto square Venus and Pluto square Moon with the same person is a little too much!! For some reason, I think Pluto square Moon is even worse, cause it gets obsessive in a more intense emotional out of control way... I dont like it at all, while I can deal with Pluto square Venus much better somehow... but as you said, it depends on how individually we deal we those aspects.

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Anyway, this obsession you have for this guy is not healthy. I hope you let him go in your heart soon. 💓

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Thank you lovely! 💓

My problem is that... as I was explaining to athenaia, in my case it was somehow healthy, even though it sounds weird. But this obsession for him actually saved me from something much worse, which was a longtime severe hopeless health condition that caused me a severe depression with suicidal plans. Falling in love with him, possible or impossible, saved my life. My depression has gone and I started to react against my illness... the depression and hopeless state has gone, three books were born and have been published, I'm still alive... the physical health issue is not over yet, but my greatest fear is that whether I lose this "obsession", I am going back to that hopeless state. And that is the least healthy thing I have experienced... but, of course, I am aware I cant go on this way forever, this is why I need to face "him".