posted September 25, 2020 12:55 PM            

There's this man...I met him about a year ago. And we've had the strangest push and pull relationship. We're both clearly into each other, but neither one of us can make the leap to push it forward. (Partly bc we work together, I think).

My background: was in a horrible relationship (got better when person got sober) for 7 years that ended abruptly when pluto was conjunct my descendant at 6 degrees. I'm a natal Saturn/Venus conjunct person and he was 14 years older than me (mostly significant bc hte relationship spanned 23-30 for me). Have had weird 7th house people come into my life since that ended who all seemed to represent ways for me to process my relationship situaitons (co-dependency, "trying to fix people," ending up with people who I "felt bad" for not liking as much as they liked me).

The person I'm writing about, is age appropriate, stable in his life, and a very equal match in terms of life status/purpose etc. He seems too...stable/normal/proper for a 7th house Pluto transit...but then there's the annoying path we've taken towards/not towards each other.

I've just never been this drawn to someone. But its also getting really annoying and I'm trying to convince myself to walk away because I'm sick of the back and forth without any actual movement...Even that...everytime I start to convince myself to "reason" away from the fixation, something happens out of the blue to encourage it....

I feel like I'm going a little batty....lol

Wondering if anyone can take a look at this synastry? (Threw in his natal chart too just in case)Mostly wondering:

1) does anything pop out that I might not recognize the signficance of?
- I recognize my Sun/Moon/Mercury/Pluto are in his 8th house and that might be creating some Plutonic feelings.
- we have a bunch of Plutonic connections including some DW (venus-pluto)
- I see the basics of there being some compatibility here.
- I see the Venus/Saturn south node connections and how those might be inhibitory?

2) Is there anything here to suggest that this is a relationship that will never get off the ground?

3) Anything significant to how many Chiron connections we have?

4) Is this type of relationship something that might have to do with my Pluto conjunct descendant transit?

posted September 25, 2020 01:44 PM            

Venus conjunct the South Node: This aspect denotes a “past-life” connection between the two individuals. In the past life, the two were most likely lovers/partners. External forces or circumstances beyond the individuals’ control led to a separation, which transformed into a sense of longing and yearning for one another, which has continued into this lifetime. Now, the individuals have been reunited in this lifetime to “close the books” on their relationship in order to move forward and learn to love independently from one another.

posted September 25, 2020 02:39 PM            

I'm wondering how it usually plays out. Does anyone have experience with a South Node/Venus conjunction in synastry?

posted September 25, 2020 03:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by walkingcontradiction:
@efaki94 hmm. thank you. Yeah it is a sorta weird connection to have with someone.

I'm wondering how it usually plays out. Does anyone have experience with a South Node/Venus conjunction in synastry?

My ex and I had north node conjunct Venus and it was not a peaceful or "lucky" relationship (money/career setbacks) in any way so I don't really buy into the NN> SN in synastry connections...

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posted September 25, 2020 04:58 PM            

His Moon is square to his MC, and your Chiron is opposite his Neptune/South Node, so I think he's usually insecure in committment and your Chiron triggers his deep insecurity.

You have his North Node on your Chiron and square your nodes, so this looks definitely karmic especially for you cause your natal Chiron square the nodes would suggest you're on a strong wounded/healing path in this existence and he seems to trigger this path for you.

posted September 25, 2020 06:56 PM            

A lot of what you said resonated anyway. There's a real feeling I have that while he's also really drawn to me, I intimidate him. Which if I wasn't paranoid (how scorpio of me) about being doxxed, I'd tell you why. But essentially, in life/work he's got all the power.

Also, he's definitely afraid of commitment. He has a history of being "left" by anyone he's tried with. As opposed to my very long relationship for most of my adult life, he's been in a string of short relationships where he gets "left." But chicken/egg since I've never been in a relationship, I can't say if they leave because he's afraid of commitment- but it doesn't feel like thats it. I think he's afraid of being left which makes him afraid to fall too deep in? Idk maybe I'm speculating now.

What you said about him being more committed to work than he would be to a relationship rings pretty true. But what if that's not a dealbreaker for me? I've been coming around to the fact that my natal Venus/Uranus conjunction really speaks to me in that I really feel like a partner who has their own life/strong sense of purpose outside of the relationship is what I need. Also, I think we're both extremely career oriented. I think for him it comes through in his natal chart, mine not so much. I've been taking this as a sign that my Saturn/Venus conjunction is maturing though because I'm growing into the sense that my relationships are not my primary focus. Become much more me/career focused especially after my first Saturn return a couple years ago. As far as I've been able to read, that's accurate? Do you have thoughts on that though? Here's our composite chart

posted September 26, 2020 05:27 PM            

Everything you've said makes me think this connection isn't an obsession but its also not a lesson? It seems like he's actually kinda perfect for me . Somehow this makes me sadder though because it just feels like we're both so certain about each other, but at the same time stay so far away?? this is so weird. personally, it sucks bc i've never been with someone who was actually GOOD for me. much less someone who i'm actually very attracted to/comfortable with.

For your specific points:
"Venus/Mars midpoint is conjunct Sun trine Jupiter, this shows strong attraction, chemistry and shared values"- IMMEDIATE chemistry, strong attraction (from him to me especially, i was slower to see him like that). Shared values- so much yes!

"Moon/Pluto midpoint is conjunct Venus so your intimacy can be very intense"- like the kind of intense where eye contact across large rooms is electric.

"and Moon/Mercury midpoint is trine MC, so you are emotionally and intellectually on the same page this also might explain shared business involvement and interests..."-- our lives are so compatible its crazy

"Sun/Moon midpoint is trine Chiron, this is another strong trait of deep intimacy"- I've never met anyone and immediately been able to 'read their mind' like I can his. I've especially NEVER met anyone who can read mine like he can. Honestly, the only person I've ever met who gets what I'm thinking right every time.

In regards to the Saturn in 7th house conjunct DSC... I've read in other places athat 7th house Saturn in the composite is actually a sign of stability? I was more worried about the Uranus in the 7th.

I'm definitely thinking the Saturn/South Node midpoint square the IC/MC axis could be why we're both hesitant to start this?? Do you think that along with the lilith aspects you pointed out could be what holds us back? Is this usually a "karmic" "keeps it from ever getting off the ground" type of thing?

When we met, his progressed Saturn was square my Venus, its now at around 3 degrees. Could that have been it too? His transitting north node was trine natal Venus. My Pluto was loosely (4 degrees) opposing my Ascendant. Seems so karmic but maybe it had no role

I know that at some point astrology will stop giving me the answers to what I want to know about him, but idk. SUch a weird situaiton I find myself in especially given BOTH Saturn and _Pluto are opposing my ascendant these days.

posted September 26, 2020 07:06 PM            

You're teaching me so much about astrology/synastry too though. its all so fascinating and inspiring me to learn more. I'd love to be knowledgable enough to be able to reply to some people's posts in the future!

posted September 26, 2020 07:09 PM            

What I’m noticing in his chart - Moon square MC, Venus retrograde & North Node conjunct IC, intercepted 1st and 7th houses with intercepted Moon...

your Venus & Saturn conjunct his MC, & like you said your Scorpio Sun/Moon & Chiron/Pluto conjunctions in his 8th house

Liz Greene on Astro.com interprets MC as mother & IC as father ...

I would agree you may intimidate him & that he isn’t as secure as his outward presentation. I feel that maybe he dreams of being a father but also feels poorly equipped for that, that you have a more balanced internal mother/father image, that he was a sensitive child & feels like his core insecurities are a burden for women/make him unattractive, & that maybe he overcompensates for this shame by working very hard & not needing others’ help in his work

posted September 26, 2020 08:12 PM            

yes! so much of waht you said resonates with what i know about him. especially what you said about how he isn't as secure as his outward presentation!! its something i intuited about him very quickly. he DEFINITElY puts on a huge show about how secure he is with his outward persona..in attitude, language, clothing style...everything! but like you said, it is a very outward appearance versus waht seems very insecure on the inside like an overcompensation to hide his insecurities.

I would definitely agree with you about his domestic dreams. I haven't mentioned, but he lost his mother when he was quite young. which definitely seems like it contributes to these insecurities. coudl that be an interpretation for what you see in his chart? I get the feeling its also part of why he works so hard to try and fill the void of loss

posted September 26, 2020 09:36 PM            

So here I have good news and bad news...
Good news is that Juno is trine to Saturn and opposite to the Mars/Moon midpoint, which would suggest he sees you as an ideal partner for committment and feels the emotional bond with you...
The bad news is that the Saturn/Jupiter midpoint is conjunct Neptune and square Juno, and this would confirm a sort of "escapism" from his part which would make the relationship unstable on the long term...
On the karmic side, Juno/Jupiter midpoint is trine to Vertex/Pluto. This could actually trigger an obsessive pattern as your feelings could be overwhelming yet very sexually based (Pluto), but Vertex might make difficult to let such deep intimacy manifest in a stable way... it's a trine, not an hard aspect, but still quite otherworldly and might contain an unattainable side, which in the big picture I assume could be linked to a difficult stability for long term...

My overall feeling, honestly, is that you might keep this going but with ups and downs and on an unstable basis, despite the passion and strong feelings and karma binding you...

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I have just read about the loss of his mother... natal Moon square to South Node/Neptune/MC might point to such painful separation, and with Saturn square Mars in 4th house it's possible that such insecurity comes from his family environment missing his mother but being ruled by his father only (Mars in Cancer 4th house square Saturn)...

posted September 26, 2020 10:00 PM            

Everything you've said is true. I know he and I both feel an emotional bond.

If you have time, do you mind clarifying? In your bad news, those midpoint interpretations you made, since they're of the composite, does that mean that we are both susceptible to that kind of behavior in this relationship? the "escapism" feels like it could be something i would do too...something i've been working on since my major relationship break up. essentially i found a reason why everyone is not "worth" committing to. Or is this midpoint interpretation solely for the male party in the relationship?

similarly, based on both of our actions, i feel like the obsessive feelings you spoke of, both of us have been indulging in. maybe i'm just feeding off his energy and he mine though? how can midpoints decipher whose more affected?

only if you have a minute to explain! i'm sure its more complicated than a minute allows to explain though...

thank you for all your insight. this has been so helpful for me.

posted September 26, 2020 10:42 PM            

it definitely comes through in his chart that his mother's passing had a huge impact on the way he conducted his life thereafter...

does this mean his pluto and saturn are also intercepted since they're in his 7th house? also, is it too much of a reach to speculate that part of why he and i gel so well even though i'm a scorpio sun/moon and he's a leo sun is bc of his duplicated scorpio house?

posted September 26, 2020 10:44 PM            

Looking at your natal, is maybe your saturn/venus in your 5th house giving a too serious vibe to your relationships the reason why you have experienced those challenging relationships? But your Sun/Moon in 5th house is also bright and playful so I dont think you look anything close to "too serious = scary"... so I am wondering about your Mars square ASC, do you think men see you a little too "aggressive"/leading as you were mentioning before? Or, another reason maybe that with your North Node Pisces in 9th house square your Chiron, you might find that they're never really up to your expectations? (just wondering, in case you wish to explore this)

Composite Vertex/Pluto would be felt from both though, and this is the powerful glue you have.

His Chiron is square your Juno so this could actually trigger also your own relationship issues, maybe in a opposite way than his though...

posted September 26, 2020 11:09 PM            

I'm a little sad because I've genuinely never felt like this about someone, nor felt as cared for as he makes me feel (even in the "friend" sense). The karmic healing aspects you pointed out about the north node/sun/mercury make me so sad too! on paper it sounds like we could have been very good together.

As for me, I don't think its my mars square ascendant. I don't make forward steps in relationships generally. I'm usually responding to advances. Thats the other thing about him; he's the only person I've ever felt strongly enough for to go out of my way to give any signal towards. but even then, i've really only given him (pretty clear) inidications that i was interested in him. I'm very Libra Mars in my non-approach even with him.

My mars sq asc gave me the most trouble as a child and at home with my siblings/parents. it was something i had to work on a lot with them. (maybe bc my mars is in my 4th house?)

Outside of that, my mars sq ascendant really only shows up in my quick-to-flare temper that i have to calm down before i get myself into trouble lol. I also really have to work on patience. I'm mayyyybe more aggressive in pursuing career opportunities than some people would like. but it gives me more pros than cons, so its not something i'm looking to control.

i would agree with you about hte sun/moon lessening the depressing aspects fo my saturn/venus aspect! it also makes me a lot "softer"/more fun/less obviously a scorpio than people expect i think. i read somewhere that a 5th house scorpio can't help but take on some leo like qualities by being in the 5th house, and for me i would say that rings true. it could also be since i'm a cancer rising people perceive me as less scorpio like though....i'm very scorpio though- very private etc. its just that the "outgoing" personality sort of "tricks" people into thinking they know me better than they do whilst really only my close friends really know me.

I'll have to think about the north node sq chiron aspect you pointed out....I think you're on to something. I've always made very rapid fire decisions on whether or not I could see a future with someone/am drawn to them/find them interesting. It has never failed me (I tried dating people I initially thought were boring and I was right on the money with my instinct). So I'm not sure if that is it because I thought the NN sq chiron would indicate that at first i'm enthralled so i get sucked in and then later think are not what i expected?

posted September 26, 2020 11:34 PM            

Well, first off, I wouldnt be so pessimistic about this relationship. He likely has self-worth issues (at least from the chart and from your guts feelings about him), and he seems harsh to commit, but there are also karmic and healing aspects that can potentially be worked out (if both souls are willing to), let alone the great chemistry and psychic connection you have. So, instead of following your Mars instinct to quickly make up your mind, maybe it is worth to wait and see how things develope?..... (if you feel it's worth it, of course...)

I'm saying so because with your Chiron in his 4th conjunct his North Node/IC... I dont know, I feel there's a big healing emotional potential for both.

Your North Node square Chiron shows a strong karmic healing path through developing high planes awareness (Chiron in 12th and North Node Pisces/9th house). So this gives me the feeling that your inner plutonic voice, not just Mars, is able to recognize who and what is serving this purpose in your life and share/accompany you along this path and who/what is not :-)