posted September 29, 2020 03:49 PM            

Recently though I've been frequently dreaming of this friend and my perspective on them HAS began to shift to the romantic. Why? Is it a transit thing? Am I just being nutty? Maybe the Composite Moon in H3 and Composite Venus/Mars in H6 means this is destined to be a sibling-style friendship?

Do you think this is strictly platonic and I'm insane for suddenly thinking this has romantic legs? Genuinely curious about anyone's perspective here.

And yes both birth times are correct

posted September 30, 2020 10:39 PM            

I figured that because these feelings were happening so late in our friendship (quite randomly after 20 years) it had to be some transient, passing emotion so pysche/eros/the nodes being involved via transit make complete sense

Certainly we've been a lot more affectionate verbally too the past month which is out of character for us so it does seem to be a mutual thing (Eros/male and Psyche/female being involved spell that out now that you made it more clear in my mind's eye) even if it is temporary

posted October 01, 2020 12:10 AM            

Tend to be more "f buddies" or shorter steamy romances that don't go anywhere deeper because the people don't really get along or vibe on deeper levels. The sexual chemistry can keep them together longer than they should be though. My partner had this with one of her first boyfriends when we became open--think they had a double Venus Mars square. He was kind of a douche--I didn't particularly like him. She had a dream that they (rather other Soul selves part of their larger selves) had had a lifetime/romantic connection in ancient Italy. (That and he is good looking and unusually large).

Some folks can deal with it (and like that dynamic), and others can't. In their case, it was karmic and she eventually realized what I saw right away--that he was kind of a douche and they didn't have any real or deeper comparability. Was just a karmic and sexual attraction thing.

It's actually strikes me very odd as it being completely platonic before becoming sexual-romantic type attraction in your case, because that is opposite of what I usually see with these. Though..

I have a couple female friends (completely platonic), that have Sag Venus in my 5th conjunct my N. Neptune and square my Mars, that I'm fairly attracted to, but realize that it's better to just be platonic friends. One I know is pretty attracted to me (she straight up grabbed my butt with both hands when we hugged--wasn't expecting that at the time), but her and her spouse are not open right now (they have been in the past). The other is very close to my partner, and even if she was attracted to me she wouldn't want to go there because of how close she is with her. So I try to not think about her in that way.

(Lol, the battle/struggle between Leo and Aquarius within is very real..romance or friendship? Romance or friendship?).

posted October 01, 2020 01:47 PM            

(I don't have much history with Cardinal Mars people so I can't speak on that too much with the exception of my best friend here so I will say that it tends to be more platonic, historically, on my part more than anything else)

I think what triggered this whole train of thought was that I viewed my best friend in a VERY different context for the first time in our history. They have a little community in which they play the part of the leader and you can tell that his followers are totally under his spell. I self invited myself to one of these events recently and it was really intense - seeing your friendship in a new lens after so long. Mentally I put myself in his followers shoes and for the first time I could see that my best friend was actually a very conventionally handsome person with their own, stoic little charms and it was quite a shock to my system to think these thoughts and to feel these things.

Plus with Todd's transit analysis, this does seem to be a season in which our friendship undergoes a period of tenderness, which might have added to the intensity of my feelings the other day.

Exactly, Aquarius' and that conundrum between needing a friendship foundation first in order for romance to flourish versus keeping things totally sterile and friendship only for the sheer principle of the matter. Plus my Moon in H5 doesn't help matters sometimes!

posted October 01, 2020 03:01 PM            

From looking at the composite chart, it seems like major transformation of this relationship via a close connection is the predominant theme. It could be that other Soul selves of your larger selves and/or direct past lives, had intense sexual involvement that didn't go too well, and now you're both trying to focus on creating real love between you--which friendships are sometimes better at than romances (especially with such a past influencing the present)?

That could be why either you and/or him weren't sexually attracted to each other to begin with (though I suspect he probably had some of that kind of attraction to you) despite the Venus Mars square. Because a wiser part of you was suppressing that dynamic to work on real love via friendship?

Maybe this is bit of a Soul test from your Expanded self to you? To see if you learned the lesson? Remember, astrology doesn't actually cause anything (well except for Solar and Lunar forces/cycles, which can and do have a direct and physical influence), but only mirrors and lines up to what's going on within consciousness via our conscious and unconscious choices/decisions, etc.

What would be most helpful, is to talk to your Soul and even more so your Expanded self level, which is a big part of your internal guidance system (as it is for all of us).

This part of you would be the best to ask about this. Seems like you may already be getting intuitions from same.

Personally speaking, deep down I lean to thinking that a good friendship is worth more, especially long term, than a hot, steamy but most likely short lived romance. This is something that my 7th House Aqua Venus needs to remind my Leo Rising and ruler of the 5th and co-ruler of the 8th (Jupiter) conjunct Mars, about though, because the temptation towards romance and sex is strong at times.

And for me, it's not even close to being just about lust and getting off, nor an ego building up thing-- with Pisces on the 8th, Mars Neptune square, Neptune in the 5th parallel the chart ruler the Sun, etc, there is a spiritual and energetic merging aspect of sex that I REALLY crave and like--in a way I'm more wired like the average, spiritually oriented woman than a man in that way. I love that all level connection and merging with another beautiful Soul (when such a deeper, more holistic connection is rarely found).

posted October 01, 2020 06:19 PM            

I can see what you’re saying here re: the platonic nature of our friendship being a direct response to healing trauma from some hypersexual past life. I’ve always been very militant about us never crossing that boundary. Of course in the 20+ years of friendship there have been drunken nights, sparkling eyes, a brief moment of will-they-or-won’t-they chemistry between us, but even in my most chemically enhanced moments I’ve always known that there was something Wrong about shifting our dynamic into something sexual and/or romantic.

(I'm interpreting the composite Taurus stellium opposite Pluto conj ASC as "it is better to keep things cozy/complacent lest the big bad wolf of sexuality dissolve this union")

(Also composite Venus/Mars square the composite Nodes seems to point to romance being the downfall between us in a past life - so maintaining our friendship in the present is the skipped step for both of us)

You are right that he was attracted to me at one point - when we were both 20 he wrote me a letter (he went to school on the other side of the country at the time) saying that he was in love with me. We ended up “resolving” that issue by never speaking about that “transgression” again, pretending it never happened and carrying on with our friendship. There are times in the past when we’ve even vacationed together, sleeping in the same bed, and truly nothing has ever happened (which none of our mutual friends ever believed, but it’s the truth!). A testament to both of us wanting to maintain the status quo. So yes, you’re completely right that I have smothered that side of our dynamic for the “greater good” in order to bolster the longevity of our friendship.

I think the biggest thing I’m grappling with right now is shame - like I’ve broken the unspoken contract of our friendship by suddenly feeling this way, and also that it is hypocritical of me to after he was once transparent about feeling the same. Now I’m also thinking that it was probably hurtful for me to sweep it all under the rug without acknowledging that what he was feeling was valid once upon a time.

So yes, there definitely seems to be some heavy energy carried on from a past life about Never Ever *Going There* that seems borderline irrational on some level.

I could definitely see this as being a part of some greater lesson in the grand scheme of the lives I’ve lived. I often experience relationship patterns like this via astrology (esp with the aforementioned impossible crush).

posted October 02, 2020 12:09 PM            

Ultimately I don't know what you should or shouldn't do with this connection, but I do know that the answer(s) are and can be found within.

Guidance so often is trying to communicate with us in various different ways, through dreams, through gut feelings and intuitions, through beyond chance synchronicity, etc. Sometimes we listen--many times, many of us don't well enough.

But, it's been my repeat experience that we can more directly communicate with Guidance--just takes some openness, practice, and right techniques. For self, I've found that deep, Love and/or gratitude feeling centered meditation wherein we first specifically ask for the help, direction, wisdom, and guidance of the most helpful, Love attuned, aware sources, is one of the most effective ways to tune into and directly communicate with our internal guidance system.

If you would like more specific tips on helpful techniques, check out this link: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/005200.html

And to briefly add to the above, sometimes when I'm in that deeply receptive to Guidance state, I also ask it, "Please bring to my conscious awareness that which would be most helpful for me or others to become aware of now?"

(There has been a couple times where asking the above led to a very interesting path/mini journey).