posted May 14, 2021 06:58 PM            

thanks and yeah no problem, both of you, questions or generals are both fine

posted May 14, 2021 07:48 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
@Stoika7 @Librapurr

thanks and yeah no problem, both of you, questions or generals are both fine

i'll look there in a bit

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Thank you!!! My post for you is here, in the Personal Readings forum 🙏
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum11/HTML/026457.html

Hope chocogold doesn't mind if I took this chance ❤️

posted May 15, 2021 09:51 AM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:

on the other side of it i think you might have a tendency to overlook and be a little dismissive of him when he expresses himself in ways you don't like, but you're definitely willing to change and work on that (something you have to do, keep in mind he does seem to be trying his best) because what you really want is balance

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Yes, he has mentioned this before. But it is very very difficult and I do not know even how to and what I am doing wrong. I do not know if it is an East Coast thing but, he can be very uncouth and rude and very emotionally expressive and animated when expressive himself. When he comes across as uncouth and rude, I do not like this. I thought I would be more understanding because of my plutonic character but in reality, I find that I am more venusian and he is this 'bad boy.' When he says something I find offensive, he does explain himself such as, he clarifies what he means, says he did not mean it the way I interpreted it.

Also, he states he is just expressive that way, that that is just the way he is.

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he has to work on his maturity levels but you have to work on really hearing him too when he's expressing himself in ways you disregard and instead of moving away try to reach an understanding

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(though he may be a bit self centered here because i see more balance of you both on your side whereas on his side i see him and you if that makes sense

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Would you mind elaborating on this?

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like he's a bit more self contained and wants things with you and sees you as perfect to achieve those things but you have more of a "team" mentality coming into this

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Likewise, do you mind elaborating here? I think this paragraph is connected to the one above. Self-contained? As in?
Also, perfect to achieve those things? What does this mean?

Yes, I see us as a team. I just want to build a life with him.

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seems like making it more "real" will make things feel new and give things a different spark, there's a definite need though to sort of find the time to look at the simple things you both enjoy about each other and find pleasure in those and think about what first brought you two together

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True, the communication problem truly takes a toll in relationships. Quite a toll to the point it is hard to find the positive in the relationship and on one another.

Can you get an idea as to timelines when it comes to the tarot reading? As in, when we might reach a better plateau and the new beginning?

posted May 15, 2021 10:18 AM            

think in my case that combined with an aries moon really does it lol 😁

expressive too yeah, loud etc very typical it can be an adjustment for people but you have to keep in mind not to take it personally, because it isn't 🤷‍♀️

a way to work on being dismissive is to make sure you say things back to him, let him know your understanding of his side always don't brush it off or shut down if you dislike the presentation

i mean you obviously love him in spite of that so it's not really fair to dismiss a whole part of him or expect that to fully change

when someone can't become a different person you have to work on how you respond to them, and responding to what's under the surface (what they really mean, how they really feel etc) is better than just a knee jerk reaction to a false perception always

how long have you been together?

my ex used to get offended because she felt i could sound sarcastic, but like when you know someone 20 years you should be aware of what their voice sounds like and not take it personally

it's a lot easier for you to change how you take things than it is for him to change who he is as a person on such a grand scale when nothing negative is actually there you just dislike the presentation (far more reasonable for you to work on you and to judge him for who he is as a person not just on the words he chose to use, if you know him you can pause and say "where is he coming from?")

awareness is really the first step with anything, when you become aware of the fact that you are doing something it's easier to correct it, you have to analyze yourself and take in what he says and then try to make corrections in the moment or after the fact

i think therapy may be good for you both as a therapist could give you more exercises and things than i could, because to me it's just "check yourself and correct after the fact until the correction becomes natural for you"

well what i mean by that is sometimes people in a relationship see more of a separation between themselves and the other person, 2 individuals working together, whereas other people see themselves as a unit and the individuality gets thrown to the side

based on the cards the individuality stands out more to him than it does to you, you see yourselves as a "unit" or "team" and he sees 2 individuals working on something

you both want to build, but your individual ego drives and levels of dissolving into the relationship are different

communication issues are definitely bad and that's why i recommend your initial idea of therapy because it will give you both the tools to better communicate in a formal neutral setting

you both have different styles that are clashing, but if managed early on it doesn't need to explode into something miserable over the longterm

i'm absolute **** at timelines unfortunately, like complete garbage something could happen today, a week from now, a year from now 🤷‍♀️ i will say though that this is a situation that needs to build and will take time just judging it on face value

it can begin now, but it won't be what you want for a while also relationships are always about maintaining a balance to some degree that never stops

i see it getting better, i see good times, but some of that friction can still be there

posted May 15, 2021 10:47 AM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:

Sometimes though it is the only way to deal with such oversensitive and overreacting people... on the other side, it's true that if you always walk on eggshells, they won't ever get aware of their issue... so yes, it's very difficult! Maybe what I meant is that you also need to understand what in your communication doesn't work and why he gets so stressed out about your grievance, I mean that maybe you also need to understand his reasons, even if he overreacts, it may still be sign of a core lack of mutual understanding (composite Juno/Jupiter midpoint square Mercury and Chiron in Gemini).

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Yes, that makes sense. Sometimes our conversations do not take place during good timing, etc. So yes, there are certain elements I should take into consideration.

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(I have just read Dumuzi's tarot reading and I am curious to see what you have to say, I think it's a very interesting reading!)

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It was incredible.

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As for the future, as I said I see some uncertainties about the wedding especially cause of transiting south node approaching composite Saturn and triggering the square to Jupiter, which is unfortunately a strong divisive aspect... since transiting Saturn is square to composite MC after being square to comp. Pluto

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Good thing is that before this current crisis, we discussed the wedding and it looks like it is more likely to happen in 2022 anyways.

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and since tr. Saturn is going to be retrograde and going to square Pluto again, it seems that there are issues to be worked out before you can go peacefully head with your shared plans... Saturn is giving a block at this moment, which was already announced by tr. saturn square pluto, clearly making your individual differences surface in a conflicting way.

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It goes retro from May 23 to October 11. So, what does this mean in terms of the retro period? I am unclear here. As in, will things get worse during the retro period or hopefully resolve by October 11 if we put the effort? My understanding is that saturn retro could be a period of reflection and working things out.

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Usually a Saturn/Pluto square transit happens in order to reveal issues and find solutions, it forces you to address and solve things. in this picture, transiting south node in autumn can be a turning point, either you solve your relationship issues at that point, or there may be definitive detachment, it looks pretty black and white, "make it or break it".

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Interesting you say that as autumn is our anniversary and we are sort of getting into that point where we either make it or break it. I even told him that previously.

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Looking at your natal, you have Sun square Mars exact giving you impatience. You also have Saturn in 7th house, so it seems you have to do extra work to make your relationships work out. You are having tr. Saturn square your DSC and coming from a square to Pluto as well, like in your Composite, with tr. Uranus opposite to it, so it looks stressful again for your relationship and that your romantic plans are blocked and uncertain.

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I am having: uranus conjunction ascendant, saturn square ascendant.
And later in the year and next year, saturn will be squaring a number of my personal planets.

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When tr. saturn will be retrograde and square to your Pluto again, maybe you'll be forced to change your plans, sort things out and make your decision.

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posted May 15, 2021 02:59 PM            

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It goes retro from May 23 to October 11. So, what does this mean in terms of the retro period? I am unclear here. As in, will things get worse during the retro period or hopefully resolve by October 11 if we put the effort? My understanding is that saturn retro could be a period of reflection and working things out.

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Yes, it is. But you have to look at what aspects it makes when it is redrograde, since it will go back to be in square to Pluto, this is a "power struggle" aspect which will be reviewed. Usually things get resolved once it goes direct again, but again you will find the "wall" of tr. Saturn square MC at that point, when at the same time transiting South Node will be conjunct to composite Saturn square Jupiter. It looks like a complex process of reviewing the relationship, issues and plans, ending up with the "making or breaking" (tr. south node on saturn)...

The plans and the decision I mentioned, I was talking in general, but in your case it could refer to your future wedding plans, but also to your doubts about him, whether you decide if he's "marriage material" as you said, or isn't.

posted May 16, 2021 01:00 AM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:

Yes, it is. But you have to look at what aspects it makes when it is redrograde, since it will go back to be in square to Pluto, this is a "power struggle" aspect which will be reviewed. Usually things get resolved once it goes direct again, but again you will find the "wall" of tr. Saturn square MC at that point, when at the same time transiting South Node will be conjunct to composite Saturn square Jupiter. It looks like a complex process of reviewing the relationship, issues and plans, ending up with the "making or breaking" (tr. south node on saturn)...

The plans and the decision I mentioned, I was talking in general, but in your case it could refer to your future wedding plans, but also to your doubts about him, whether you decide if he's "marriage material" as you said, or isn't.

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I see. So, it seems that there will be a number of twists and turns for the time being.
Curious, would you mind expanding on the following?

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Uranus conjunct North Node square to his Jupiter which may give unexpected reactions and abrupt decisions from his part.

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Does this refer to his emotional nature or life/personal decisions?

posted May 16, 2021 06:09 PM            

Does this refer to his emotional nature or life/personal decisions?"

posted May 18, 2021 02:01 PM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:

Uranus here mainly gives an unstable and unexpected energy, he may act in unusual ways or trying new solutions, or he may have to face a new situations, but this can also give a very optimistic attitude and it can be a lucky transit. It's in his 6th house/Taurus square Jupiter in 3rd house, so it has to do with his ideas, thoughts, communication. Maybe he's getting new awareness and likely trying to process things under a new light. [/B]

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Just updating. We talked. We had a couple of communication bumps whilst chatting but, he says everything will be fine and to feel more optimistic. I am going to try, I truly will. It is just so hard. I must be going through some horrible transits too.

Regardless, he has all these ideas and plans and you know what is funny? He told me that in a relationship, he needs emotional support. So, he was very keen in telling me that it is important for him to be supported regarding his pursuit of goals. Just like you said!

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so he likely has this issue especially with women, from whom he'd wish to receive respect and support instead...

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