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Topic: Why is having heavy composite 8H a bad thing?
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Hikaru29 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asia Registered: Nov 2018
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posted July 03, 2021 09:59 AM
I read that the composite 8H is about intense bonding and transformation yet I also read that it’s negative to have a composite that’s 8H heavy, why?For those who have had such relationships, can you pls share your experience? IP: Logged |
Laylay Knowflake Posts: 100 From: Sydney, NSW, Australia Registered: May 2020
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posted July 03, 2021 10:44 AM
Heya, this is the chart of me and someone I used to date. We bonded VERY quickly, but too quickly as I remember things got very intense and deep by our third date I think.. and by that I mean we spent so much time together I felt like I was losing myself. It felt like we were just one person instead of two separate people. I know composite is the chart of relationship itself but the other party became very obsessed with the relationship to the point it was almost scaring me. Neither of us are "8th house people" so I didn't handle the energy very well. 8th house is said to be karmic however I didnt stay long enough in this relationship to see if that would play out. The sex was physically intense but there was no emotional attachment (from my end anyway). He was a great guy, very kind and sweet. We had good synastry but the relationship gave me bad vibes. Not that the relationship was bad but the closeness and depth was abit too much for me to handle.. even with the aquarius placements. Sorry I couldnt give more detail but I didn't stay in it long enough to know. I do believe this heavy 8th house had a lot to do with those feelings though. Sorry for the negative spin but that was just my experience. I was also married to a man where we had 8th house stellium.. they call 8th house the house of separations so that's how that marriage ended up lol. I didnt find the sex all that deep as its said to be in 8th.. but we did receive ALOT of financial help from family. Xx IP: Logged |
Hikaru29 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asia Registered: Nov 2018
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posted July 03, 2021 02:38 PM
Hi Laylay Thanks for sharing your experiences! I know how it feels like when someone gets too close too fast but when you said he was obsessed, do you mean he became controlling, clingy or stalking you etc? How long were you together btw? I’ve not experienced a 8H relationship. It was my friend’s composite with her boyfriend which she asked me to read. Neither have 8H planets natally. They also got very close very fast but I wonder how strong their emotional bond is because there’s this vibe she’s giving me which I can’t quite explain. Why is 8H the house of separations? I didn’t know about this. Did your marriage have similar issues? IP: Logged |
Laylay Knowflake Posts: 100 From: Sydney, NSW, Australia Registered: May 2020
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posted July 07, 2021 05:29 PM
quote: Originally posted by Hikaru29: Hi Laylay Thanks for sharing your experiences! I know how it feels like when someone gets too close too fast but when you said he was obsessed, do you mean he became controlling, clingy or stalking you etc? How long were you together btw? I’ve not experienced a 8H relationship. It was my friend’s composite with her boyfriend which she asked me to read. Neither have 8H planets natally. They also got very close very fast but I wonder how strong their emotional bond is because there’s this vibe she’s giving me which I can’t quite explain. Why is 8H the house of separations? I didn’t know about this. Did your marriage have similar issues?
We were together about 6 months. I wouldnt say controlling but very clingy and insecure. He was constantly trying to make sure I still liked him. If I ever made a comment about another man for example "oh i like his outfit" he would get very jealous.. though i might put that down to him being the Pluto person in our relationship. That being said, 8th house is ruled by Pluto / Scorpio and I believe it's the house of separations because it symbolizes, amongst other things, death, transformation, marriage and divorce. Our emotional connection wasnt strong as there werent many Moon contacts in synastry plus our composite Moon was in 12th house, square to Venus and Mars so I guess it was supressed. As for my marriage we had Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Pluto in 8th house. Though I didnt feel the weird energy in that marriage as I did with this guy. In my marriage we had heavy Saturn contact in both synastry and composite and I believe that was our undoing. I couldnt take the weight of responsibility and restriction. It felt like our relationship was depressed ![](http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/frown.gif) However I remember things happened very quickly with my ex husband as well.. we moved in together 3 months after we met. What is the vibe that your friend is giving you? IP: Logged |
Hikaru29 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asia Registered: Nov 2018
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posted July 09, 2021 12:20 AM
So it seems that 8H brings people together very fast such that emotional merging doesn’t quite catch up with physical merging, or at all?My friend got together with this guy very suddenly. Sexual contact happened very quickly too and was very intense but it didn’t sustain. They still seemed close though, always hanging out together, but I’m not sure if they’re together out of some kind of self-gratification or real love. She was nursing a heartbreak when they met. They didn’t show any interest in each other then suddenly “wham!” they’re together and he started lounging around her house every other day. He knows right from the start they won’t get around to marriage due to their huge age gap and his mom is an obstacle. She used to always think marriage with her exes but with this guy she says she doesn’t care about it as long as they can continue to see each other. I’m not sure if she’s speaking from her heart or in denial. Then there are other things in their chart which shows that this may be more of a sexual connection than an emotional one. Their Sun & Mars in 8H are conjunct Jupiter (which looks great by aspect) but dampened by an opposite to Neptune. I read that Mars in 8H opposite Neptune (and if they both have strong natal Neptune which they do) indicates a relationship born out of self-gratification than anything else, each trying to satisfy some fantasies. Friends suspect he’s with her for her financial independence which means lesser burden on his end. He has admitted to dating older women for their financial strength vs younger gals. They also have Venus/Chiron in 8H opposite Uranus. Yet I’m curious of the 8H because it sounds like such deep, emotional bonding, and if it’s all that, how is it bad? IP: Logged |
Eternal Energy Knowflake Posts: 788 From: Registered: May 2020
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posted July 09, 2021 11:21 AM
You wonder if it's bad... I would rather say it's before the 8 House connection and after. The person who is afraid to surrender to this energy is usually the one who cannot go back to how he used to be, to the life he used to have. And this causes him a lot of frustration and a lot of torment. He cannot be at peace, until he feels that connection again. A meeting, a phone call, a message, a touching, a kissing, anything...IP: Logged |
Hikaru29 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asia Registered: Nov 2018
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posted July 11, 2021 02:44 AM
quote: Originally posted by Eternal Energy: You wonder if it's bad... I would rather say it's before the 8 House connection and after. The person who is afraid to surrender to this energy is usually the one who cannot go back to how he used to be, to the life he used to have. And this causes him a lot of frustration and a lot of torment. He cannot be at peace, until he feels that connection again. A meeting, a phone call, a message, a touching, a kissing, anything...
It sounds nice to me like a deep unbreakable bond, but why then astrologers said this is a difficult house and that they don’t know many long-term couples who are 8H heavy? IP: Logged |
Eternal Energy Knowflake Posts: 788 From: Registered: May 2020
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posted July 11, 2021 04:11 AM
Because you experience such profound and such intense feelings that you had never imagined before that they existed. It is not easy to let them run through you and because you are afraid what will happen to you, you resist, you try to gain back the control. The thing is that once you experience the feeling you are never the same again even if you can't understand it at that time. IP: Logged |
Hikaru29 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asia Registered: Nov 2018
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posted July 11, 2021 04:25 AM
I don’t think 8H is just about deep intense feelings. If it’s all that many people would have loved it. No matter how much space & independence people claimed they need, we still crave a deep bond with our partners.I think 8H is also a very dark house where deep psychological issues can be disguised with having true feelings, e.g. I love you so much I wanna be with you all the time is actually to fulfil some psychological insecurity within me… and I will use you until I don’t need you anymore. My friend has composite Mars in 8H opposite Neptune. I read that this can indicate strong sexual fantasy rather than true emotional connection, especially with Neptune involved. I think this is how it can make some people walk away from 8H relationship, because they feel drained and wonder what’s their connection really about, similar to LayLay’s experience. You said the reason for letting go is fear of the intense bond. I don’t think it’s that. IP: Logged |
Eternal Energy Knowflake Posts: 788 From: Registered: May 2020
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posted July 11, 2021 06:30 AM
The fear is not about the bond. It is about you.IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus Knowflake Posts: 5731 From: Customer Service Rep. Registered: Apr 2015
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posted July 11, 2021 09:48 AM
It’s not it indicates transformation in the relationship. IP: Logged |
efaki94 Knowflake Posts: 239 From: thessaloniki,greece Registered: Jun 2020
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posted July 11, 2021 12:08 PM
I have Davison venus and lilith in 8th with my boyfriend and I relate to everything I read here.Just for the fact, 👌 IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 147496 From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2021 10:14 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 147496 From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 25, 2021 11:23 AM
Bump!IP: Logged |
GalacticCoreExplosionV2 Knowflake Posts: 747 From: Registered: Jul 2021
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posted July 25, 2021 01:16 PM
These symbols are not static and one size fits all, they are relative and conditional, especially to the attunement of the individuals individually and to the combination of those unique energies that form a greater whole (aka a relationship). 8th House connections can run the whole gamut from the darkest of the dark, to high levels of Light. And it can swing from one extreme to another, though not in a fast, back and forth Uranian way, but in a slow building up, volcanic transformative or devolution way. But Eternal Energy is correct in that the two will never be quite the same after. 8th House leaves its marks, for better or worse. Ultimately, you get to decide whether it is for better or worse, no matter what happened or didn't happen. It is hard to put the Water houses, especially the 8th and 12th into words and concrete terms and definitions. That's why we are often left with vague, nebulous, generalized words like "intense, transformative, etc" Because ultimately, it has a lot to do with a combination of emotions, feelings, and deep internal, unconscious processes (even if catalyzed by outside variables) i.e. very right brain type attunements that resist and are very different from, left brain, linear logical analysis. You have to understand them more on a feeling and intuitive level to even start to get a grasp and understanding of them. IP: Logged |
Eternal Energy Knowflake Posts: 788 From: Registered: May 2020
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posted July 25, 2021 04:47 PM
Hi GalacticCoreExplosion Version II.IP: Logged |
GalacticCoreExplosionV2 Knowflake Posts: 747 From: Registered: Jul 2021
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posted July 25, 2021 04:56 PM
Hi there Eternal Energy. IP: Logged |
Eternal Energy Knowflake Posts: 788 From: Registered: May 2020
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posted July 25, 2021 05:46 PM
Welcome back.IP: Logged |
GalacticCoreExplosionV2 Knowflake Posts: 747 From: Registered: Jul 2021
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posted July 25, 2021 05:52 PM
Thank you. Wasn't planning on posting much, but my goodness, I've certainly have posted quite a bit already in a short time. (I'm procrastinating from some chores, how very un-Capricornish of me..) IP: Logged |
Hikaru29 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asia Registered: Nov 2018
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posted July 29, 2021 01:53 AM
quote: Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosionV2: These symbols are not static and one size fits all, they are relative and conditional, especially to the attunement of the individuals individually and to the combination of those unique energies that form a greater whole (aka a relationship). 8th House connections can run the whole gamut from the darkest of the dark, to high levels of Light. And it can swing from one extreme to another, though not in a fast, back and forth Uranian way, but in a slow building up, volcanic transformative or devolution way. But Eternal Energy is correct in that the two will never be quite the same after. 8th House leaves its marks, for better or worse. Ultimately, you get to decide whether it is for better or worse, no matter what happened or didn't happen. It is hard to put the Water houses, especially the 8th and 12th into words and concrete terms and definitions. That's why we are often left with vague, nebulous, generalized words like "intense, transformative, etc" Because ultimately, it has a lot to do with a combination of emotions, feelings, and deep internal, unconscious processes (even if catalyzed by outside variables) i.e. very right brain type attunements that resist and are very different from, left brain, linear logical analysis. You have to understand them more on a feeling and intuitive level to even start to get a grasp and understanding of them.
Thanks, GCE. This is the answer I was looking for... and to further explore "what" actually happened that make astrologers say: "few people stay in a 8H relationship". All they say is that it's 'transformative' and 'intense' and I agree these can be good or bad... but because few people stay in it I deduced it must have gradually gone bad? How? Jewel said (based on certain planets+aspects in 8H not just generally about 8H) that the couple may be in it for self-gratifying reasons and it's only when they realised it that they will want to get out of the relationship. Before that it's all deep & intense like you are me and I am you.
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GalacticCoreExplosionV2 Knowflake Posts: 747 From: Registered: Jul 2021
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posted July 29, 2021 10:54 AM
Yeah, there can often be a selfish tone to the nature of 8th House connections. Also giving-taking can become imbalanced, where one gives far more than the other (and thus, eventually resentment can build up to volcanic proportions--speaking from experience here). But this doesn't have to, and doesn't always, happen. 8th House shares something with Pluto, in that both are AMPLIFIERS. They take whatever is there and really amp it up. Both also deal a lot with the shadow i.e. the repressed/suppressed parts of self that we are largely, if not completely, unconscious to. These parts get shoved down into the unconscious because they are too uncomfortable to the ego and self to face. So you can see where these two in concert, could lead to definite challenges and strife in a relationship. But should both partners be more attuned to Love than not, and both older Souls, they can take a 8th House connection and transform it into something truly powerful and beautiful. How often does that actually happen in real life? Probably not all that often. These types are somewhat rare in an individual sense, and even more rare as a couple/duo. IP: Logged |
Hikaru29 Knowflake Posts: 3711 From: Asia Registered: Nov 2018
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posted July 29, 2021 12:56 PM
What happens when this 8H relationship is also filled with Neptunian overtones?IP: Logged |
Eternal Energy Knowflake Posts: 788 From: Registered: May 2020
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posted July 29, 2021 12:59 PM
There can never be an imbalance when you ask nothing in return.IP: Logged |
Eternal Energy Knowflake Posts: 788 From: Registered: May 2020
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posted July 29, 2021 01:17 PM
Neptune is always being accused of illusions and delusions. I would say Neptune is the proof that love is sacred, love is divine, love is unconditional. And it's not rare. It is here. Right where you are.IP: Logged |
GalacticCoreExplosionV2 Knowflake Posts: 747 From: Registered: Jul 2021
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posted July 29, 2021 02:33 PM
I don't fully know Hikaru. Seems like you might know better than the rest of us? Clearly you have strong feelings for this guy, so why all the second guessing and/or deep questioning of the connection? My guess is either some kind of unconscious fear, and/or some past/unconscious commitment issues as perhaps indicated by Sag Moon and/or Gemini Rising & SN/Sag DESC? But you came here to become more stable and enduring in this life (Taurus Sun). IP: Logged |