posted September 27, 2021 10:07 AM            

She started hooking up with guys (shady guys with history of dating minors), and I just couldn't control being upset because she doesnt take my advice anymore. I want to stop being too emotionally invested with her life so I want to distance myself from her, or else I'm afraid I'll just blow up and our years of friendship will end up in resentment.

Will ending things on a mercury retrograde a good idea? Will it bring about permanence or is it better to just wait until it stations direct?

posted September 27, 2021 10:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Librapurr:
Take a break from her and change focus on your own life. After, retrograde you might see if you want to come back. In retrograde, there’s more possibility for misunderstanding.
It was my problem for many years when I got much involved in somebody else’s life and felt used and neglected because they couldn’t give me even half of support and attention I was giving to them. I think these situations teach you to put attention on your own life and live it. When I got enough my own problems and dramas, I just acknowledged I cannot tolerate it anymore. I didn’t end relationships for this reason, but didn’t get too much involved in their stories anymore, tried to retrain them, cut our conversation time. It might be easier to get new friends.
Somebody disappeared. Somebody started to be more attentive and patient with me, but still slipped into the old pattern sometimes.
Also, my friendships are strong on Pluto. And it’s not easy to sustain and not to be bored in easier relationships when you have Plutonic ones and natal Pluto till the time when you got more than enough.

“want to distance myself from this friendship but I'm drawn back in because I'm hooked with her stories. I think i've sort of developed a crush on her crush as well even though I dont know them in real life.” - it’s her Pluto on your Mercury/Venus. It’s good you acknowledge you’re obsessive here. Also, you might need to acknowledge you’re also her Pluto, and you could be possessive and controlling toward her. You need to take a step back.

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posted September 27, 2021 10:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Librapurr:
Take a break from her and change focus on your own life. After, retrograde you might see if you want to come back. In retrograde, there’s more possibility for misunderstanding.
It was my problem for many years when I got much involved in somebody else’s life and felt used and neglected because they couldn’t give me even half of support and attention I was giving to them. I think these situations teach you to put attention on your own life and live it. When I got enough my own problems and dramas, I just acknowledged I cannot tolerate it anymore. I didn’t end relationships for this reason, but didn’t get too much involved in their stories anymore, tried to retrain them, cut our conversation time. It might be easier to get new friends.
Somebody disappeared. Somebody started to be more attentive and patient with me, but still slipped into the old pattern sometimes.
Also, my friendships are strong on Pluto. And it’s not easy to sustain and not to be bored in easier relationships when you have Plutonic ones and natal Pluto till the time when you got more than enough.

“want to distance myself from this friendship but I'm drawn back in because I'm hooked with her stories. I think i've sort of developed a crush on her crush as well even though I dont know them in real life.” - it’s her Pluto on your Mercury/Venus. It’s good you acknowledge you’re obsessive here. Also, you might need to acknowledge you’re also her Pluto, and you could be possessive and controlling toward her. You need to take a step back.

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Thanks for your reply. Yeah I really need to step back. It's just that she's my only friend and me having Pluto in the 11th house in Scorpio, i tend to be a loner and i find it difficult to make new friends because I'm sort of a hermit. I was thinking of maybe just spending less time talking with her so as not to cut the connection completely, but I just cant take her off my mind (and mind you this is 100% platonic).

It's all or nothing for me, I'd give 100% in terms of friendships. I guess I have learn how to redirect that energy to myself. It's just so hard.

I've read about the infamous Venus-pluto in synastry in romantic relationships- the power imbalance, the obsession, possessiveness, codependency and limerence. Same is true for friendships though there are less articles and books discussing about this dynamic in a friendship setting. It's just so hard to break free from this person.

Our conversations tend to be about taboo as well. Things we wont dare say out loud to other people but we comfortably tell each other. It's as if she knows what I was about to say and I am with her. I dream about her a lot, and i dont know if it's any coincidence, my dream comes true eventually, making her shocked. It's unbelievable.

I can also feel when she's upset, or happy, and it affects my mood.

posted October 01, 2021 12:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by zionkay:

It's all or nothing for me, I'd give 100% in terms of friendships. I guess I have learn how to redirect that energy to myself. It's just so hard.

I've read about the infamous Venus-pluto in synastry in romantic relationships- the power imbalance, the obsession, possessiveness, codependency and limerence. Same is true for friendships though there are less articles and books discussing about this dynamic in a friendship setting. It's just so hard to break free from this person.

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I agree about the dynamic and obsessions exist in platonic as well as non-platonic relationships. There’s definitely an insufficient discussion in Astrology about aspects in platonic relationship issues.
Pluto is our control / obsession issues. Your Pluto in 11th is suggesting you might have obsessions with people, groups. Especially, with it sq, your 8th stellium.
She also has 11th, 8th placements and you share Leo moon. That’s why you probably can handle that intense synastry.
http://advanced-astrology.com/pluto-in-eleventh-house-natal/
I think it’s a good article about Pluto 11th. Maybe, it can give you insight how to control your obsession, switch your focus to different matters of 11th. (volunteering,
social causes, dreams, goals).