posted October 09, 2006 03:19 PM         

To an unknown friend whose words are written elsewhere and on my heart:

Perhaps you cannot know what you have left here. Maybe it will only be, upon further reflection, your thoughts that you see reflected. Only as your notions and ideas that appear to you as having been imprinted upon my heart.

There was more here than you could have possibly known that you had left behind, however.

Upon reading, my thoughts turned to friendship, and to friends I have known both animal and human, both past and present.

In particular, I was drawn to memories of a certain dog by the name of Capi'tan.

I don't live where Capi'tan does anymore, but he remembers me, and he walks beside me as I go down the street. If our paths cross, he swerves his direction and matches it to mine.

"Capi'tan HuhHH huHH" I'll say to him, when he does this as he has done so many times before.

He is skinny, for there are none of the scraps we used to leave for him. He is old and his eyesight has begun to fail him. He is gaunt, but he walks proud, and he is free. He is an animal of the street, of the concrete wilderness and true to his own spirit.

There is no food for him come from my hand anymore. I do not feed strays, and the landlady where we live has her own dog, a huge, muscular animal that would no doubt dispense with Capti'tan in a matter of moments. (I have my own way of greeting him as well. "Uhhh Bububububuhhh" I'll say and he'll wag his tail and tremble with greeting.)

But Capi'tan and I share a bond. A bond forged over the course of the year that I lived in that other house. He hasn't forgotten the occasional treat, but he doesn't seek that. You can see it in his eyes and in his manner of continuing his search for food, nose down, sweeping back and forth.

Yet for a few moments, when we meet, he is with me..accompanying me to my front gate. (Unless of course some attractive young b-itch happens along, in which case, as I mentioned, Capi'tan is a free spritit and his OWN dog. He will look back at me as if to say "Goodbye" on such occasions. Then he follows his freedom and his heart and his desire, as animals are want to do.)

Capi'tan accompanies me, for the same reason that I allow him to. He is my friend, and I am his. We share common memories and recall another time when we were brought together by fate, when I first said to him, "Capi'tan HuhHH huHH", touched the top of his head and acknowledged his existence. When I first reached out to let him know that his being here with me in this existence actually mattered and that I meant him no harm other than a few moments of his time, that we might look into each others eyes and connect. I love that animal, and it loves me and there is no pack instinct between us, because we are free spirits who would not tolerate being dominated or controlled.

Your musings here reminded me of Capi'tan and there are tears coming down my cheeks as these words stream off of my fingertips.

Thank you.

Thank you for taking the time and for the enormous amount of care and thought that it appears went into this. I will always cherish it, and with your kind permission, would pass it on.

You are now my friend. I do not require that you return this feeling or this sentiment. It is obvious that there is a kindred spirit or maybe only a kindred mind at work here. In any event, for a few moments, you touched my life and reminded me of the selfless love of an old friend, and for that I now render my heart without thought of gain. Only thoughts of friendship.

Love,