posted October 11, 2011 01:07 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
In some cases, belief is more powerful than reality.

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You are not kidding!

posted November 05, 2012 11:49 PM            

desire for immortality is incredibly mortal.

posted December 14, 2012 10:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
For me, I see reincarnation as an obstruction. I've amassed an unusual amount of somewhat secret knowledge, and it would be such a waste to cast off this shell and lose that.

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posted August 28, 2014 11:37 PM            

I also loath the idea of being a child again, with adults telling me what to do. And going through school again... I would prefer keep on living and not reincarnating. Since i know i will reincarnate, i wish that the new person whom i will become... oww, extremely personal stuff... will find the defined goal i have lost and am trying to find again. And i terribly wish to say i wish for a renewed chance to become physically immortal. But it is worthless without the ideals that inspired me. I wish for happiness, which means i'm not there yet. There are ;people that wrote that they are happy with their lives and they want it to go on forever. I once identified with them. Right now i am longing. And fighting to see the magick in life. It's not easy 'coz i still fight with the past. I want to reach to the point of total dedication (And health too, but that is secondary), And i am still far from it.

Oh, and i want to remember. Fully and wholly remember.

To finish - I wish that on my next life i will want to live forever for the right reasons.

And not fearing old age, as this is, too, an illusion.

posted August 28, 2014 11:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by deepseablues:
No! I hate my shell and body temple, it feels a curse, a prison, as does my personality, as does this life. I want to feel at one again with the Universal Dreamer, not a separate consciousness, not aware of myself as myself. I hate being alive and physical immortality seems like the biggest torture. As does more reincarnation, I just want to stop. To not be.

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I hope you will love yourself more. I believe in the continuation of individuality, which is wider than any personality in any given incarnation. But i can understand and feel too the longing not to feel seperate.

posted August 30, 2014 06:31 PM            

For about a month I was puzzled about what the topic Immortals was about. I didn't want to inject myself into the conversation without really understanding what the topic was truly about. Did some digging and found fascinating materials. I Understand what you're saying now.

In the past at LL, some of you left comments for me on other posts (not in the area of this forum). There was 'just-something' etheric that resonated with me about the comments made. You 'spoke' to the message of my post, yet there was something-else about it. It held a "separate" meaning too. Seemed surreal to speak on two-levels at once, and I wanted to trace 'what that was' within me.

I've known for a long time that I have an intrinsic understanding of meta-mystical type layers. It's part of the understanding of who I am. It can be like hearing one conversation and being 'present' to it, and yet, another, on a whole other level. Strange lights in a strange fog.

When I shift my awareness to 'that' level, it makes COMPLETE natural sense then. But when I have to leave the keyboard and interact with the *cough* "real"? world, that's when the reality can get stranger. That's not a problem all the time, though.... When I'm feeling strong and confident, I love being among others. I know that I can just make a difference by being there, by smiling and looking into their eyes... But I realize in hard-terms now how there are astrological transits that can 'emphasize' feeling less secure (and it can last for a very LONG period of time that can make you feel that you've completely failed~~ what a Test!). These transits leave me feeling way more 'vulnerable' than usual. It's like I want to hide, but then something inside prompts me that THAT's not good! I need to 'use' that vulnerableness to understand and study 'how' that works. People reading my posts can see astrology in action. I realize and understand that this can be an excellent time to surgically 'look' at what's going on with me, and glean info on the process.

So I digress... back to the depths, O Misery! *o drama!... laughing at self*

In past months I've felt very self-conscious of this out in the mundane world. I can feel and know that others 'sense' me as 'different' without my having to say a word. I try to 'pretend' it's not there, but sometimes (my aura) is stronger than usual. This has led to strange encounters with people on the back of bus I ride. I've had a few experiences of absurdly-open feedback, unsolicited from others about it. One couple just started 'talking' about it out of the blue. They said there's nothing 'wrong' with it (AND, without giving me the feeling there was something wrong about it *laughing*.) But they said they could see I had a (good) 'different' quality. (Which would in turn make THEM different for 'saying' it in such a clear and 'okay' way. I try to hide, but it's obvious without my making it obvious.)

No wonder that I crave privacy in the physical world, and that's hard to find without 'isolating' myself maybe a little too much... Those are the times I wished I had companions for the road.... to get 'used' to it. Transition.

There ARE some people who 'try' to speak of things like this that I see have not broken through all their veils. And I realize that 'I' have to break open in my fog also. I concretely think it IS possible to have awareness in BOTH worlds simultaneously, and remain VERY lucid, very sane. (Just gotta stop being scared of this experience, maybe? *laughing* I really really think it's normal, but I have so many other things to cope with that interferes with my integrating it, (so far).)

Perhaps when I was born into this body, I came with residual awareness. My mother said I frightened her by things I said, when I was young child. It's just been 'so lonely'... Metaphorically I felt like the (extinct) Creature at the bottom of the lake in Ray Bradbury's short-story The Fog Horn. It felt summoned by the false-sounding horn that it 'thought' was another like him.

I feel that I've been searching so hard, so long, to 'find' my 'company'... So far, the ones I've found were merely speaking the vocabulary but were VOID in their understanding of 'what' it is they were 'actually' saying. And I also realize that this is a mirroring back towards me in that simultaneous understanding.

'Like a man who looks in a mirror and immediately forgets what he looked like'

I Believe this stuff is true on so many levels. I see people who 'manipulate' others in a bad ways. It's taken a lot of having to 'detach' because the 'prey' don't realize they are used. I have to leave them act that way; but I feel a deep burning in me to 'protect' others from this, and, have to let it be this way. 'This' is pain....

How do I weave both worlds and be able to Make the hugest most-efficient Difference that I can? The physical is a very coarse existence... There's wanting in me to untangle deceptions, and give innocent people a CLEAR view. Such a drive to protect innocents/innocence. Yet I still must extricate my own self from such a thing. My own self's illusions.

That's the 'pain'... How do you live in a BODY, that senses and feels, and 'not' feel that damaging wear and ripping from 'the work' involved...? To work it on the REAL-WORLD actual physical level, how do you live with emotions (that ARE valuable) and not sustain damage from it at a level that is more-permanent....

When I see others being 'taken advantage of' and "fooled" by pranksters and swindlers in what's supposed to be the healing-energy practices, this is another worldly problem that gives me 'activation' *laughing*. There are small businesses sprouting up with intentions to capitalize off people-- people who don't have a sense of subtle energy, but nonetheless are 'told' that it 'happened' and they get charged for that "time"-- This is an outrage. They are "told" this is genuine when it FAR is not! "Merchandizing the Anointing".... It's blaspheme! And yes, I KNOW that this is NOT 'new' under the Sun. This has gone on for decades and centuries.... (There's just gotta be a solution for this, somehow). (I've been writing posts on this for the time I've been at LL. Nothing 'new' in this posting to anyone who's been reading my posts for the past year or more.)

It's like I want to "protect" Spirit, or rather "the representation of Spirit" on the earth. Hurts so much to see it defiled, yet that's my own "human" emotional response. Spirit doesn't need protection. It is complete in "Its-Own" and so Loving that it "is" and becomes the 'Remedy' itself.

It's a struggle being Human: It's an answer to 'Be' the Divine-Within. Dilemma is the maintaining and balancing a foot in Both worlds. Answer is 'Just Be, it, of course? ... I think that's possible. And I bet this is way more possible for multitudes of people now.

Immortals everywhere! finally "coming-to"....

Oh!, as an ASIDE~~: I've been deeply thinking about the satellite we have in space: the one that recently passed Neptune and is now on its way to Pluto. (I am so thrilled.) That 'satellite' is symbolic of what we can achieve as mankind-itself. Symbolic Neptune? Spiritual realms?.... With the science It/WE became "possible" to electronically touch and to see it, to know it more thoroughly at its depths. Now I ponder this wonder. Perhaps this real-happening with a real-planet is signal that we are 'ready' to spiritually ignite full-consciousness WITHIN the physical realms.

Back to original thought...

Just wishing it didn't sting and hurt so much ----- to be stuck, in a physical body, and stranded from other physical-bodies who Know all this. But I know that there is a level where we join and where there is no separation, nor even thinking that separation is even possible.

Physical bodies-- that's how we Do the actual work. Letting the Divine Arms reach through these physical sleeves to embrace those who are weary. THAT is what I would do. I know we can work in the nonphysical realms and affect many.... But to be fully awake and fulltime reach out to others and HEAL them.... I'd long for that complete experience IN this lifetime, WITH the healthy time to "do" it.

I feel the weariness-part of existing, today. ... It's just not the same to just hug your own bodyself. That's like a cold Wire-Monkey matrix experiment. I need to humanly bond and feel safe attachment with physical-bodied others, who also are awake and realize that we live in a matrix form-body. The physical experience detaches me. I want to feel "much more than that" with Others who are awake with Understanding... My hopes of that have been dashed recently. But that's okay. I 'embrace' the love of the Universe and I trust its infinite wisdom. Perhaps those people would have been made a very 'negative' imprint-experience on me, and ruin the progress I've made. Even though it had looks of 'much allure' and promise, it must have 'fake'... That would go against what I desire.... I want deeply spiritually genuine quality souls in my life. Maybe I came close to it, and that's an encouragement. But still a let-down. I learn another valuable lesson, thank God I didn't get what He doesn't want for me. I let that go, and Trust that the Best is manifesting. Joy, that adds no sorrow.

I've not met nor know of souls like that yet for me. Maybe my desire is not possible this lifetime, but I trust what happens and throw faith into 'positive' direction.

I am soooo grateful to LL for my 'virtual' connection with those kinds of Friends who love to 'discuss' these kinds of things.

posted August 30, 2014 08:46 PM            

And mirage29 I can relate to a lot of what you have said as well. I am thankful to have found this site as well although certain posts have upset me unbearably/caused me to feel sick, I cannot look at Astrology 2.0 anymore, I find it a very shallow forum, but when I use the search engine to find specific things I am searching for answers for, many beautiful posts have helped me. There really are a lot of spiritually beautiful people out there doing totally amazing things and living these totally amazing lives and I so want to be there too but don't know how to get there yet, I guess because I don't know how to love myself or humanity properly. But I so want to! I just don't know how not to be disturbed by so many things. I love Mother Gaia and all her beautiful creations but it makes me so unbearably sad/hurt to see what we are doing to her, I feel that I can feel her pain, her sadness. I am thankful to because I didn't even know about Linda Goodman as an astrologer until I found this site but already the books I have read of hers have touched me deeply, I am halfway through Gooberz right now and it is very moving, I feel very close to Linda and how deeply she feels/felt and am so thankful she put so much into writing, I wish she had more books. Apparently I am on the Thunderbolt Path and I can't say I've enjoyed it so far. And when I read about Physical Immortality I must say I was and still am very upset by it. I have always been more afraid of myself and of life than I have been of death, I have always seen death as a sweet release to this painful life, and have always looked forward to the end, sometimes it being the only reason I have kept going. Then to find that Linda says death is unnatural and that I have to be here forever was (still is) too much to bear. Maybe if I could learn to switch body temples I would feel differently but I don't know I have always just kept going in the hopes that I could turn my Karma around enough so that if I do have to reincarnate it isn't into a physical body, I would like to be fully spirit or fully light-body that seems much more bearable if I have to be a separate consciousness. I feel like I can remember what it was like before I came here and that it was very pleasant, no pain, no awkwardness, just "at-oneness." I haven't exactly had it easy and I know there are others that have had it worse, but being physical for me just feels so painful and awkward and I have never felt loved nor understand how to love myself. I struggle with so many aspects of humanity, there is so much I simply don't want to accept, that I wish we didn't have to accept, that makes me feel sick to my stomach, and I wish that everyone would stand together and say NO, we don't have to accept this or do this or be this, we can be/do BETTER. But then I am accused of being a moral elitist. Or negative, or depressed or too sensitive or many other insults that cause me to withdraw into myself and not reach out or open to anyone for fear of being accused of something I don't think I am or being ostracized.

posted August 31, 2014 03:03 AM            

It swirls at the level of the bottom-most depths of 'the ocean floor' and Finds and rekindles the Dreamer. Returning to the feeling and sense that 'To be' is NOT alone, we actually recall that Alone is an Illusion.