posted March 06, 2015 08:24 PM            

I know you are forbidden to talk about it, but maybe you can give us 3 or 4 clues of what happened.

You know exactly what you have to do.

posted March 06, 2015 08:42 PM            

And even if it where, personally I wouldn't want to live if I couldn't enjoy food. You need food meat and milk... for perfect health. Follow your heart and your joy that will bring you to your dreams.

Also I strongly believe you should stop your medication and find healthier ways of healing.

You're guides are testing you - you are still being tested. That means good news - now plan in a simple way of what you need to accomplish and listen to yourself!

posted March 08, 2015 11:23 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayelet:
Thank you for your reply, fairy22. I tried praying but was denied. I was a bit haughty, or more than a bit, which is why i failed.

I don't believe we need milk and meat for perfect health.

I cannot stop my medication as there is no one i know who is reliable enough. My health got deteriorated after i've turned to natural healers who tried getting me rid of those poisonous medication. My situation got worse and today i am taking it on double dose. I don't know if my guides are testing me. I don't know what to think. There is no one around me who knows anything concerning these subjects, no one in my circle, which is why i wrote here. It is an unusual situation. I guess i just need to bear it in silence, as much as i can, which is kind of opposed to what i did by writing here. I just thought, then, perhaps someone else who also found his/her teachers but didn't %&#@*& it up, could help. I think i found one such person. But i discussed this matter rather thinly with him. He said, in other words, that death is not such a big deal. But it is dying that is hard for me, not the actual death. I also want to have control over my life. I don't want to be born again, Oblivious. I don't want it all over again. But i have no choice.

---

I used to feel as you do Ayelet in regard to asking for oblivion. I felt so much pain in my heart due to tremendous traumas at an early age and somehow I felt I couldn't get away from it.

People kept on betraying me and I just have never felt unconditional from my own family. It was a culmination of things and in part due to the extreme hormonal change in reaction to birth control shot that had me attempted ending my life. PTSD was also a part of it too but I just couldn't stand the pain.

But I wasn't allowed to go yet. Was not my time. I was very mad with the Divine. I dared the Divine--it was a form of defiance. Anyhow, the Universe talked to me in the form of a free book I found online. I can't seem to remember the author but he wrote a free book on love and his journey of wanting to end his life also but divine intervention kept him from going through with it.

His story had me laughing. Humor was how I got through my bout of extreme low. I think I had hit rock bottom. After that experience, I realized I love life tremendously. I didn't find a guru...well I did but I decided it wasn't for me. My guru is my higher self.

I used the violet flame a lot and I wonder if it will also help you. I learned of a new decree that I am decreeing for 7 days and something great will happen but we will see.

If you wish for me to share it with you I will do so, but will not post it here unless asked.

I wish you many blessings in your journey to healing. I believe the Universe is compassionate and sometimes the hard stuff we go through help to make us sparkle like a diamond under immense pressure.

Blessings.

posted March 09, 2015 08:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayelet:
Thank you, Sabine, for sharing your story, and for your blessings. I am sorry for the way you felt, but am glad you didn't end your life! You got a winged message from the universe in the shape of a book. I myself got too such messages, but that was long ago, and right now, after many books, i feel only action can help me.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1-CVK2VVejE

I couldn't find the written decree so I transcribed it so I can recite it daily.

I hope you have positive results with the violet flame's meditation! Would love to hear about it too. Good luck!

---

Thank you! All is as it should be now. I'm glad I didn't go either. The Universe had led me to a form of therapy that had gotten rid of the entrenched traumas. I feel the difference.

Here's the you tube video explaining the decree. A member here had told me about the Radiance Heart Academy and this is one of their videos.

I couldn't find the written decree so I transcribed it. If after what you listened and it moves you I can paste what I transcribed from the video.

posted March 10, 2015 09:30 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sabine:
Oops! I pasted the link in the quote. My bad. Typing on a phone can be haphazard. :-)

---

posted April 24, 2015 02:13 PM            

choose to not listen
to the negative voices..

for they are not in
your best interest...

I AM sending you
LOving Healing Energy. ...

you choose,
remember this!

posted April 24, 2015 06:27 PM            

You will remain with us
as long as you choose too..
when you give up,
then you will go,
and death is not death
we are Eternal
and A11 truly loved...
Mother and Father God
only enter into equal
partnerships,
we are all worthy
and Forgiven

What you do from this day
forward is your choice..
every action has a re-action
re-act with love, everything
we do, effects A11
we are all connected
all children of God
all equal

You are Worthy
You are Forgiven
You are Blessed

Allow the Love and the Light
come from above
into your crown
the top of your head
to your Heart
to All within

Perspective

this is an illusion

I am really glad
you are here!

posted April 24, 2015 08:08 PM            

Edit

posted April 25, 2015 04:14 PM            

When we came to planet Earth
we were given the simple
Law
you get what you give
what you do comes back
to you..
do good, good comes back
and vice-versa
do bad, and bad comes back
take a life
and your life
will be taken,
karma
there is no escape
..if people knew this simple Truth,
would they hurt Others
knowing that in time
this would be done upon them!?

choose to do everything with LOVE

when I encounter children
no matter what my mood,
I Smile and project Love
from my Heart
to theirs
no matter where I go
children are drawn to me
we live in such a harsh world
our children need LOVE
NOW
more than ever...

Love and Reverence for A11
we are A11 in this together

World-Wide-Web
Connected

I LOVE YOU A11

and to
"Infinity and Beyond"

posted April 27, 2015 12:50 AM            

You've been suffering terribly, Ayelet. I am sooo glad you're still here with us. I like your poems in YW and the comments you've made there. We've had some deeper interactions there, I thought. I know that Pearlty thinks highly of you too.

You know what?... You wouldn't be under such weight of battle inside you if there wasn't something VERY important about you and your life. I know from your poems that you are a spiritually dedicated person, and sometimes spiritual persons get picked-on from those invisible forces around.

The one you're describing in the OP is called the spirit or voice of condemnation. It does not belong to you, and you can learn to repel its influence. (I'll talk about that at another time.)

Feels sooo awful to go through this type of processing. And our souls go through that, as a refiner's process.

We pass through the invisible fiery trials, and that invisibly burns away the parts of us that do not belong to immortality. Only the things that are fluff, and not a real part of who we are, get processed off. (scripture--, the wood, hay, & stubble). And it needs to, and was meant to. (There's a mythical 'goddess story' about that one, which I'll find and quote it later.)

Sometimes just knowing about it, realizing 'what' it is, the struggle can pass very quickly, and what you have left afterwards feels more solid and better inside.

Other things are heavier to deal with, and are a little more long to have to endure, but know know know know know that when it's processed and over, you really will stand in a place some day and be GLAD you've made it through alive, so grateful that you were preserved. Ask God's angels to help you. That's what they're here for.

Did you ever look up your asteroids Ceres or Vesta in your chart?

posted April 28, 2015 07:03 PM            

Ayelet
you are doing really good,
one day at a time...

posted April 28, 2015 07:16 PM            

I also wanted to check to see if I found the right year for you, based on the 'clues' you left. I'm guessing that you are around 35 right now and will be 36 on your next birthday? (I will erase that if you wish, and all other astro-references, as I understand you may wish better privacy?)

And is it a fact-diagnosis that you are dying right now?... Or is that how your body and soul "feel" right now?... I know that for me, personally, I've been feeling like crrraapp, and I understand how alarming that can be-- especially when you feel that others don't understand it.

posted April 29, 2015 09:35 PM            

Says in this book here I'm reading that, Your central life issue is to master chaos and the deep forces of life!.... you will always contemplate the deepest meaning of Life. {BH Clow, LiquidLight,c2001}

I can't find exactly where I read about the story about the myth of the goddess, (could have been either Ceres or Vesta-- probably Ceres).

But in the story--- She (Ceres? I think) had been grieving a long time over the loss of her child. She wanders into a town, then stumbled into taking care of a newborn. Every night, she was passing this child through the hearth's embers in order to 'burn away its mortality' in various layers and stages. She was an Immortal, and she knew how to give this Lucky Child her own special Gift that she possessed... (heh, it was an unknown perk!)

So, the parents come home suddenly one evening and surprised each other! Thinking that this strange old woman was trying to kill their baby, they ~freaked all out, and called the cops!

The Immortal Goddess now throws off her disguise, 'reveals' who she actually is, she's all ticked-off and they get coysed ~oy. (that's the part I wanted to fact-check)

Some folk nowadays take stories like that 'literally,' when it was actually meant to pass on some sort of wisdom. Some well-meaning deranged people will take a live child like that and do rituals upon reading something like that. This should never be on any parent's Live "to do" list, if you know what I mean! no no no...

Some writers slip back and forth between worlds of speaking in the poetic-sense mixing with things that are factual and real. It takes someone with a poetic-heart and romantic-sense to interpret it more accurately sometimes.

posted May 18, 2015 11:44 AM            

How are you?

..been thinking of you