posted August 11, 2004 07:48 PM         

I've been checking out your board for a little while now, and finally decided to register.

I wasn't going to at first, a lot of very unLindalike stuff has been going on around here. At least it seems that way to me. (Of course that's just my humble opinion and I'd hate to get jumped on by anyone this early in the day! )

Also saw what looked like people trying to make up. Then attacking, then making up. It's a pretty topsy turvy situation you people have got on your hands here.

You won't be hearing from me much. Posting isn't my style. Reading and learning from the people around me makes much more sense to me. (Foot-in-mouth-itis is a big part of why! )

I'm reading, and I'm learning.

What seems to make sense is that noone here can blame anyone for their behavior, or their words. We're all to blame for our actions and the things that we say.

So if mean, insulting, judgemental words come from you, it makes no sense to say "They had it coming!", because whether they did or not, you are the one that decided to be rude, or insulting or angry, or whatever.

There is a disclaimer when you first sign up at Linda-Goodman.com. It struck me as strange that it was the very first thing that appeared on my screen during the sign up process. It says:

quote:

---

You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this bulletin board to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, insulting...

Although we do not and cannot review the messages posted and are not responsible for the content of any of the messages, we at Linda-Goodman.com reserve the right to delete any message for any or no reason whatsoever. You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages

---

That last line pretty much says it all. You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages. Not the guy who irked you, not the tone of their voice. You.

Finally, because I'm not really used to big long speeches, but while I'm on a roll, what the heck:

I read something somewhere about sexually oriented posts being offensive to some people, and other people saying they have every right to talk about that stuff.
My personal opinion is that if you would like to talk about that stuff, I'd like to hear what you have to say, because I think sex is pretty Ok too.

That may be my take on it, but according to the rules we all agreed to when we signed up, a person should be able to assume that they won't be running across that sort of stuff. The policy doesn't say sexually explicit, it says sexually oriented.

That means that a person who doesn't like that sort of stuff should have every reasonable reason to believe that sexually oriented material will be removed from the forums by the moderators, or simply won't be posted in the first place.

Not taking a side, just trying to see how they might feel like they'd received false assurances that they wouldn't have to worry about running into that sort of thing when they signed up here. That makes sense to me.

I agreed not to engage in sexual innuendo from the beginning, so I'll just have to flirt with some of you fascinating ladies on AIM or something. That sounds reasonable to me.

Sorry for taking so much of your time. You people know this forum better than I do, but I thought maybe an outsider's impressions could provide food for thought (or more fillet of sole for my mouth. )

Glad to be here.

posted August 11, 2004 08:41 PM         

Generally, Randall (who owns this little slice of heaven) allows everyone to exercise his/her right to free speech. He steps in when he feels lines have been crossed. They are lines in the sand, nothing hard and fast. I respect his manner of leadership, with a loose hand, whether he finds certain strings to be distasteful personally, or not.

And that is one of the things I love most about LindaLand. Otherwise, this would be a place of dogma and suppression, rather than a place where beauty is permitted to grow from whatever soil might be present, rocky or otherwise.

A rhetorical question that we have all used at one time or another:

How does one appreciate the sun without a rainy day?

But I would also say...
How does one appreciate the rainy day, without the sun?

posted August 11, 2004 09:43 PM         

Would like to clarify something, because I think I might've p-d pidaua off on another thread at Global Unity. She came at me with both fists and from the look of her, she could probably take me.

I realize now that the title of my post might've mislead some of you into thinking that my girlfriend left me. Please accept my apologies for that and allow me to explain. (See what I mean about foot-in-mouth disease?)

You Led Zeppelin fans out there, will recognize the title of my post as lyrics from the song "Hot Dog" off of the album "In Through the Out Door."

I thought it an appropriate title, because here I am coming in to Linda-land, but the sign almost screamed EXIT at me, when I saw all of the bickering going on.

The behavior I saw didn't remind me at all of anything that I've come to understand about Linda Goodman, or her message to the world. Again, that's just my perception of Linda, a person who I'd always believed fought to help people understand one another.

I love Linda Goodman's books, and so have come to love the Linda that I have come to know.

When I arrived and didn't immediately see her spirit here, it was disheartening.

Reading some of the older posts, it became clear that many people here have tried to act upon the things that it seemed Linda taught to be right and true: Love, understanding, gentle individuality and patience.

So it just seemed that my girl (Linda), had gone away for a bit. Just an attempt at being poetic and clever, and as you can see, I'm not much of a poet, or a writer. Nor am I very clever.

Again, please accept my apologies, pidaua and isis. I didn't mean to offend or attack anyone, nor did I mean to mislead anyone or play on their sympathies.

I was just trying to express myself, and apparently I did a very poor job. I'll try to refrain from posting anymore so as to avoid appearing a busy-body.

Thanks again for the welcome people.

posted August 11, 2004 10:41 PM         

Oh.. and Welcome CanGuru, from me too.

posted August 12, 2004 01:12 AM         

Please come back...

I'm really sorry that you..

"just got into town today (Lindaland)...and found your girl had gone away ( Linda. you did not seem to find Linda here at Lindaland...you felt she left)"

...how sad!

Maybe she did leave...for awhile...but I think we can bring her back...So please come back and be part of Lindaland...

posted August 12, 2004 03:59 PM         

I hardly think my post in GU constitutes as coming out with both fists or that I was P-d off. This was your initial post and introduction to GU:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow.
I just got to Linda-Goodman.com. Registered yesterday. I had to fill out a disclaimer at the beginning. Couldn't remember what it said, and went back to look.

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this bulletin board to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, insulting...
Although we do not and cannot review the messages posted and are not responsible for the content of any of the messages, we at Linda-Goodman.com reserve the right to delete any message for any or no reason whatsoever. You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Haven't been here long enough to know what went on. Don't really want to be sucked into either side in this argument either!!

If I could make a simple observation, though:

Let's say that someone was doing whatever it was that you said was deserving of your anger, pidaua. According to the rules of Lind-Goodman.com, they'd be responsible for that, right?

Now you're responsible for the things that you say, too. So am I. So is everyone.

In your last response you say that commenting on someone's physical appearance is just plain rude.

Some of these comments sound just plain rude too:

"You are sick, you need help"

"You are lower than pond scum"

"You need to grow the hell up"

and then toward the bottom, it appears that you admit to saying those things.

Like I said, I don't know what caused all of this. But one thing's for sure: noone can make you say rude things in response to their words. You have to decide to do that. Once you make that decision, like it says in the Linda-Goodman.com disclaimer:

You remain solely responsible for the content of your messages. Nobody else. Just you.

Just an observation. I didn't mean to get into this, and hopefully noone will hold it against me. Sometimes it seems like the best way to get some perspective is to not have any emotional investment. I don't, and I hope that it's helpful.

Best of luck to you both. You seem like nice people.

Nice to meet all of you.

The Can Guru

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was my response to you:

____________________________________
Hey CG...welcome and how nice for you to make your first posts ones of the insulting nature.
Since you have been lurking for a while, but failed to ever make a contribution until now, I ask must ask, what do you hope to acheive?

You posted a very misleading title in FFA concerning coming home and finding your woman had left you. I am sure other's, just like myself, felt bad and went to see how we could help. Instead we are hit with your lecturing...nice...

Hopefully we will see more of you and you can allow us to get to know you as a person instead of one that just posts in order to point out the negativity they perceive exists.

**edited*** I don't want to bring the other person into this***

But, I appreciate how you jump on the bandwagon. Maybe, in the future you will learn to look at boths sides and then make your decision.

___________________________________

You jumped into a debate between another person and I and you did not have the entire story.

I do not hate you, I do not have anything against, you, but I did ask for you to explain yourself. That was all.

By the way, it was not lost on me that you insulted me based on my looks. You made reference to seeing a picture of me and then insinuating that I could "take you".

You meant that in a hurtful manner (although it doesn't really hurt me since I know others wise and compliments have never been in short supply by strangers..LOL..so think what you want).

It is funny how ones true nature comes out in full force by a few posts. You came in, chose sides, without even being a part of the situation.

You are welcome to your opinion, I just wish people like you would stop dredging these things up. Just when things begin to settle - another person comes to add more logs to the fire..

Again...I am not angry, I am not PO'd. but I do feel that you came out against me, without even knowing me.

posted August 12, 2004 04:08 PM           

Yeah, pixelp...he struck me as Carlo-ish...trying not to be Carlo-ish.

But that's just me.

posted August 13, 2004 08:53 AM         

The comment that you could take me was based on my assessment of your intellect.

I'll second FishKitten and everyone else's wish that whatever is causing you to read people's words in the worst possible light and jump down their throats will be cleared up soon in your life.

No doubt, underneath that confrontational facade beats a heart of gold.

Bet I didn't word that carefully enough again. Sigh. I'm really out of here this time. Goodbye folks. This was a bit over the top for me.

Nice to meet you all.

posted August 13, 2004 09:10 AM         

Hope to see more of your posts on here!

posted August 13, 2004 11:02 AM         

Thank you for being concerned. I appreciate that. I think that if anything in my chart is being activated it is my own Natal Pluto Conjunct Asc in Virgo with the current Pluto in Sagittarius aspect (currently playing ping pong in between my natal Sag Sun and Venus). Add to that...Saturn in Cancer completing my T-square (Moon in Aries, Mercury in Capricorn and Uranus in Libra - 1st house).

I think I have become more visible -and with the current political situation and my..LOL...normally very direct statements- some things have been taken out of context and some things have been misunderstood by others with my words and myself with their words.

I realize that some people have offended others here in other strings, which then brought out my loyal side and I wanted to make them see how horrible they were being. But by doing that, I ended up coming across as being mean- instead I should have sat by and let others deal with it. It's just I hate seeing my friends feel like they should be ashamed for some of their life choices.

I responded very strongly to what I saw as vague allegations against people here, which may have been unintentional, but led some people to attack and others to defend.

For the most part, I hate confrontation, but I won't back away from it, especially if it involves people I care about or people I feel are being picked on (Ugh..Aries moon...Sag Sun and our love of lost causes at times).

As soon as things started to settle down, this Can Guru dude shows up and starts it all up again. I know I should just ignore him and his patronizing remarks, but it is just another log to the fire.

Personally, things couldn't be better. I am engaged and getting ready to move out West to be with him and closer to my family in Arizona (the rest of my family is in Idaho). Mr. Taurus will be coming out here on Monday and we'll be leaving for NC so that I can meet his family and then we'll be off to vacation in Myrtle Beach. I am looking forward to leaving the East coast and being back home. My move date is September 1st.

As far as taking hits...I don't mind it so much as long as something good comes out of it. As it is, I think we all brought out some of the undercurrents to the surface- which can only lead to healing.

Thank you for asking and Alchemist...right back at ya

Can Guru,

I really would to request that you refrain from addressing me. You are extremely patronizing and border in being an antagonist. I don't think anyone here is blind to that...as it is apparant in your posts.

I am not sure how anyone couldn't read an insult in your comment:

"She came at me with both fists and from the look of her, she could probably take me."

Then you followed up your apology with another seemingly insulting remark about my "future" and "life"....I really don't need that from you as you do not know me nor do you know my life or future.

Take care of yourself and I wish you luck. I know we all suffer from foot and mouth at times- (boy do I know that) but I would like for you to just leave me out of your posts if that is possible.

posted August 13, 2004 12:22 PM         

Pidaua...you are right. Sometimes old wounds need air or they just fester and get worse. Bringing undercurrents to the surface can help. As for the loyalty thing, I've noticed that in you before. People can say pretty much anything and you might or might not respond, but if you think for an instant that a friend or a somewhat defenseless person is being treated unfairly...well its a little like poking a dragon with a stick. lol Actually, I find that very admirable.

So the big move is in a couple of weeks! Congratulations on that and on the engagement. From what I know of you, I think you will me much happier out west again. You strike me as someone who loves wide open spaces and not too much city influence. And, like me, you are a horse person, are you not? I've been traveling so much in the past few years that I haven't had the time to have a horse. I've been toying with the idea of getting a couple again. The thing is, I'll have to buy the right house for it. I hate keeping a horse at a stable. It is a little like having a dog that always stays at a kennel. What's the point of it? I like my horses to be close enough that I can interact with them on a continuing basis.

And the big engagement! Wow. May your future with Mr. Taurus be filled with good things and happy times. I'm sure his family will adore you. However, you may be swimming during your vacation instead of hiking around Myrtle Beach! Is the whole East coast feeling these hurricanes?

I know wht you mean about the Pluto thing. I have Pluto conjunct my Leo ascendant. I'm not sure how it aspects Pluto's current position, but something is sure as heck happening. I'll just be glad when Mercury goes back direct.

posted August 13, 2004 04:56 PM         

CG- for the record, I honestly didn't think you sounded aggressive or rude so it's going to be sad if you leave so soon after joining us because of some simple little misunderstanding. There are lots of people who had... shall we say highly charged beginnings here and they're still here and doing strong. So don't go away! Stay!!! Different opinions and personalities are what make LL such an interesting place!

------------------

posted August 13, 2004 06:11 PM         

This is really all quite silly. Pid is Pid. If you say something that she doesn't agree with, she's gonna call you out on it. I respect that quality in her. IMO, if you don't want to get called out... think through what you're going to post carefully before you post it. This is not MY space. This is not YOUR space. This is OUR space and it is made up of a vast personality. Pid has much to share with all of us. She is very wise. She's also a Sag... to the core.

Deal with her or don't ... but don't take issue with her for blowing your posts out of the water. If there were nothing to blow out of the water, she wouldn't do it.

I rather enjoy her brand of bluntness. I don't believe she has any intention of offending anyone until they jump on the defensive and start spewing insults. THAT is when I notice Pid's claws come out (Isis... you too ).

There is going to be a great deal of disagreement in all of the forums here in LL. People are not going to agree with you... no matter how many times you repeat yourself or get angry.

posted August 13, 2004 06:17 PM         

And I too hope all of this can be left behind us.