posted August 05, 2005 11:12 AM         

Quality: Cardinal: Cancer’s leadership qualities are confined to head emotional manipulator

Symbol: The Crab: Crabby, Furtive, Reclusive, Brittle

Ruler: the Moon: Shadowy character, Behind the scene maneuvers, Loony Bird, Lunatic

Favorite Pastime: Whining

Favorite Book: The Martyr’s Handbook

Role Model: Eeyore

Dream Job: Professional Victim

Key Phrase: “After all I’ve done for you.”

posted August 05, 2005 11:14 AM         

Post it Planet!!! If some one is offended, they need to go to another thread. This is free for all.

posted August 05, 2005 02:14 PM         

Love

posted August 05, 2005 02:39 PM         

Quality: Faxed: Scorpios never forget, forgive, or let go.

Symbol: Scorpion: Just as its crusty little namesake, the human version will destroy itself trying to get revenge.

Ruler: Pluto and Mars: Suspicious hothead. Compulsive-obsessive two-timer

Favorite Pastime: Plotting their next move

Favorite Book: The Klingon Guide to Mercy

Role Model: The Masked Avenger

Dream Job: Judge, Jury and the Lord High Executioner

Key Phrase: “I’ll get you for that.”

posted August 05, 2005 02:49 PM         

Quality: Fixed: Leo is fixed in its high opinion of itself.

Symbol: The Lion: Lionize. Lion’s share. King of the Jungle

Ruler: The Sun : Sunbathe, Sunstroke, Sunburn

Favorite Pastime: Giving Orders

Favorite Book: Intimidation Made Easy

Role Model: Foghorn Leghorn

Dream Job: Boss of bosses

Key Phrase: “You had it coming.”

Body Part: Wrist, permanently sprained from shooting craps for lunch money

Element: Fire: Aries is the dragon that lays waste to the countryside, then falls asleep, satisfied that it’s burned a few small towns

Quality: Cardinal: The only thing an Aries is qualified to lead is a chorus of Kindergartners singing the Barney Song.

Symbol: The Ram: Battering ram, Ram it to you, Butt-headed.

Ruler: Mars: the god of war and barroom brawls

Favorite Pastime: Shooting first and asking questions later

Favorite Book: The self-published Journal fo Personal Wisdom

Role Model: Yosemite Sam

Dream Job: Sex therapist

Key Phrase: “Are you talking to me?.”

posted August 05, 2005 03:02 PM         

Quality: Fixed: Taurus is the original immovable object

Symbol: The Bull: Bullish, Bullheaded, Raging Bull, Full of Bull

Ruler: Venus: The goddess of lust, jealousy and hedonism

Favorite Pastime: Passing Judgments over dinner

Favorite Book: The Gluttonous Gourmet

Role Model: Uncle Scrooge

Dream Job: Hanging Judge

Key Phrase: “Why do you make me hit you?.”

Body Part: The throat, usually sore from bellowing

Element: Air: Gemini Air is like a pesky breeze on a day at the beach. It makes you squint, so you don’t get a clear picture of what’s happening around you.

Quality: Mutable: Gemini is the human version of the revolving door.

Symbol: The Twins: Double-=Trouble, Double-Talk, Double-life, Double-cross

Ruler: Mercury: the god of Mischief and deceit

Favorite Pastime: Jumping to the wrong conclusions

Favorite Book: How to Get Anyone to Agree to Anything

Role Model: The Tasmanian Devil

Dream Job: Gossip Columnist

Key Phrase: “Because I want to.”

posted August 06, 2005 04:55 AM         

THE WANDERER

Element: Fire. Everyone has a chance to be warmend at this hearth.

Quality: Mutable. Never met a body he or she didn't want to scr#w.

Symbol: The Archer/Centaur. Half Hunter, Half Animal, All untamed Wild thing.

Ruler: Jupiter the good time Charlie God of excessive joviality.

Romantic Idol: The Invisible Man

Romantic Style: Nonexistant

Fav. Pick Up Line: "Is this bus headed to Aluquerque?"

Dream First Date: Philosophize over a few cold ones, move to a parking lot for a quickie, then uncermoniously dump first date for the hottie he or she spotted through the windshield while h#mping.

Love Zone: Hips. Keeps college bump and grind championship trophy on the dresser, next to back brace.

Sexual Quirk: "ME Tarzan YOU Jane" -works for either sex.

posted August 06, 2005 05:02 AM         

Big $pender

Element: Earth. Stone-cold emotions and rock-hard determination built a brick-wall psyche that you'll need a hammer and chisel to crack.

Quality: Cardinal. All work and no foreplay makes a Cappy a dull goat.

Symbol: The Goat. Love may be a part of life, but climbing to the top of the mountain is this animal's goal.

Ruler: Saturn, the God of first take out the grabage, then you can be spontaneous.

Romantic Idol: Hercule Poirot.

Romantic Style: Boss

Favorite Pickup line: "I'd like to do you if I can fit you in my schedule."

Dream First Date: In a bank vault, screwing on piles of new crisp, one hundred dollar bills.

Love Zone: Knees, you on yours.

posted August 06, 2005 05:40 AM         

I read a bit of that book. It was really funny. I don't think there is a female version.

posted August 06, 2005 04:15 PM         

I'll Never Fall in Love Again

Element: Air. Blow and Hard are two words that usually get you hot, but only if there's a space between.

Quality: Fixed. Trying to stand up during a hurricane is dangerous and tricky. It can be done, but you'll have to anchor your feet in a bucket of cement.

Symbol: The Water Bearer. Pours out advice, solutions, predictions, assumptions-everything but his/her heart.

Ruler: Saturn and Uranus, the gods of missionary style and unpredictable kink.

Romantic Idol: Inspector Gadget.

Romanti Style: Possessed.

Fav. Line: "Have you heard what they are doing to the rain forests now?"

Love Zone: Shins and ankles wrapped in thin, silver chains attached to a diamond naval stud.

Dream First Date: Being abducted and subjected to sexual experiments by a REAL space alien.

posted August 06, 2005 04:20 PM         

Love Potion Number Nine

Element: Water. A kid could drown in this sea of love.

Quality: Mutable. Here today. Freaked out, whacked out, or moved out tomorrow.

Symbol: The Fishes. Moby-Dick meets Charlene Tuna.

Ruler: Neptune. God of false promises and anything wet.

Romantic Idol: Hot Lips Hoolihan.

Romantic Style: Enabler.

Fav. Line: "Buy you a drink?"

Dream First Date: In the back of a liquor store on a pallet of Dom Perignon with a full moon reflecting off the jug wines.

Love Zone: Feet. Foot fetishes, toe sucking, ankle chains.

posted August 06, 2005 04:24 PM         

Anything you Can Do, I Can Do Better

Element: Fire. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the backseat.

Quality: Cardinal. Aries is lead horn-dog.

Symbol: The Ram. This animal loves fast, furious, and frequent fornicating.

Ruler: Mars, the god of unbridled passion, unending war, and unrelenting pursuit.

Romantic Idol: The Mask.

Romantic Style: Willing, able, and aggravating.

Fav. Line: "Your place or mine?"

Dream First Date: Playing naked touch football in the city park at high noon.

Love Zone: Head. Giving it. Getting it. Ramming it against the headboard, dashboard, or scoreboard.

posted August 06, 2005 04:29 PM         

My Way

Element: Earth. mud wrestling is definatly not for sissies.

Quality: Fixed. Taurus never varies either the routine or the position.

Symbol: The Bull. Herd mentality meets human garbage disposal.

Ruler: Venus, the goddess of "I want that....and that...and that...."

Romantic Idol: Archie Bunker.

Romantic Style: Ball and chain.

Fav. Line: "Can you cook?"

Ideal First Date: Date cleans house, cooks dinner, performs o#al sex, and offers profuse thanks for allowing him or her these privileges.

Love Zone: Throat, deep throat.

posted August 06, 2005 04:43 PM         

quote:

---

Key Phrase: “Because I want to.”

---

posted August 07, 2005 04:47 AM         

Love the One You're With

Element: Air. Gemini's silver tongue is renowned for more than just phone sex.

Quality: Mutable. Juggling five or six lovers, a spouse, and two committes relationships takes real talent.

Symbol: The Twins. Double your pleasure-and your pain.

Ruler: Mercury, fastest mouth and shortest attention span in the Universe.

Romantic Idol: James Bond.

Romantic Style: Multiple personality.

Fav. Line: "Read any good books lately?"

Ideal First Date: Three best friends who adore him or her and congratulate one another all night on their astounding luck.

Love Zone: Hands. Hand job. Hand jibe. Handcuffs.

Sexual Quirk: You are making love. Gemini is thinking about a career move, new love, or old flame.

posted August 07, 2005 04:52 AM         

Cry Me a River

Element: Water. Vinegar and water may be cleansing, but its awfully hard to swallow.

Quality: Cardinal. Cancer is the Mother of all signs.

Symbol: The Crab. Cracked doesn't just apply to crustacean.

Ruler: The Moon. There's no brass ring on this emotional merry-go-round.

Romantic Idol: Carmen.

Romantic Style: Codependent.

Fav. Line: "Are you going to eat that?"

Dream First Date; Mom drives the car and orders everyone's dinner. Date hangs on Mom's every word and pays bills.

Love Zone: Breasts. *** -Men and suck the life out of you women.

posted August 07, 2005 08:55 AM         

"The mother of all signs"

That is me!!!! LIstent to you mother!!

Maybe I should change my name to mothermoon.

posted August 07, 2005 10:34 AM         

“Sexual Quirk: Whispers” OMG! YES!! That always works But it can’t be OTT or too dirty

Thanks Planet_Soul & BlueM

------------------
aka Neptune’s Mermaid, NM, WN, Nurse Neptune, Waternixie, Nepsnympe and deputy #6

posted August 08, 2005 02:26 PM         

Born to Be Wild

Element: Fire. Play wit this Fire and you're bound to get heart-burn.

Quality: Fixed, on top of your panting, sweating, worn-out body.

Symbol: Lion. These big cats like to nibble their prey too. Yum!

Ruler: The Sun. Exalted ruler of the Universe, the bed, the couch, and the remote.

Romantic Idol: Johnny Bravo.

Romantic Style: Lord and Master.

Fav. Line: "Try the best and you'll forger the rest.'

Dream First Date: Date swoons at first sight, fawns in the restaurant, gushes when introduced to friends, and begs to get laid. Polishes boots before leaving.

Love Zone: Heart. Flattery and a nipple ring will get you everywhere.