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Author
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Topic: Mommyhood Lesson #326
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proxieme
unregistered
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posted September 30, 2005 06:48 AM
I've slowly but surely been gleaning life lessons as I've helped my daughter grow, the most recent beingParenting isn't about me, it's about my child. I got Meghan a doll yesterday -
one of those standard dolls with the soft rubber face, hands, and feet, little lips puckered, bejewelled eyes, and soft body ("Perfect for Snuggling"). You have no idea what a big step that was for me. I didn't want Meg to have anything so gender-specific, so ohmygod girly as a baby doll.
I never needed or wanted one, so why should she? Well.
She's been tucking in all of her stuffed animals; she'll take tissues and clean between her bears' legs (like she's changing a diaper); and whenever we're out in public and some foolish young girl leaves her newborn baby doll unattended, Meg snatches it up.
She did so on Weds to a two-year-old's, then brought it over to me and began to feed it Cheerios. So.
While on a mission to find thin rope with which Jase could put in his Bug windows, I saw a Fisher-Price "Little Mommy" Baby (no, really...they actually name these things like that) on sale. I sucked-up my pride and plunked-down the cash for it. I have never seen a child so happy about a toy.
I didn't even have it out of its bag as I walked in the door, and Meg ran over to me, eyes wide, desperately saying, "Baby, baaaybee, baybebaybebaybe!"
The poor girl almost exploded, jumping and lunging, as I cut-off the twisty ties. As soon as it was out, she scooped up her prize and cradled it,
"My baybee, my baybee..."
and then bottle fed and rocked it for more than an hour - an eternity to an almost-toddler. IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 1107
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 30, 2005 07:53 AM
That is so sweet. It was a kind thing you did for her.IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted September 30, 2005 09:22 AM
Awww!!! Sweet story, Prox!! Megan wants to be a mommy just like you!!! It is natural that she wants to be like you.IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 30, 2005 09:44 AM
*crying*
awwwwwwww... I know. Nature/nurture..... sometimes little ones want to cuddle and take after mommy.*just so you know.. it wasn't with the same ferocity as you described,and as I see with my own daughter.... but my son liked cuddling baby dolls too.
And my daughter likes trucks and snakes.. Good lesson. Don't worry. She'll remind you over and over that she's got different expectations than you.
Good thing you are smart and adaptable.  IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 30, 2005 10:22 AM
Aaahhh lovely story.......Our son always wanted to wear dresses and makeup and of coure he did.....every day....even if he did that as a man that would be fine.....who am I to decide his preferences? Strange cos when he was in the womb I thought he was a girl and had visions of dancing with a little girl..... As he got a bit older he asked for a toy gun once and he could see me hesitating and said "its not real mum" so I got him one and after a few days he threw it away....interesting hey..... Now all he wants to do is paint, sing, dance, and sometimes he likes to wear my clothes...and sometimes he likes to play soccer with his Dad.....a perfect blend of the male and female energy I feel..... OOooooh i loved dollies, remember them all, cindy, patch, tiny tears, patsy ann and then one with lovely long curly hair...they have stayed wth me all this time, I will never forget the feel and smell of them.......wonderful.....my dolls meant the world to me..... I told my son a long time ago....as soon as he could understand. that he could be who ever he wanted..........I am delighted to be able to say that he has turned out to be exactly what I would have CHOSEN.........but if he changes again along the way........I will be happy.......as long as he is........ He never did ask for a doll....shame cos I would have had great fun playing with her......aahhh well will see what santa bring LOL !!!  Sue xx IP: Logged |
Loggerhead
Knowflake Posts: 356
From: Alabama
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 30, 2005 10:55 AM
I went through something similar with Barbies. I was never going to get them for my daughters, but their girlfriends "corrupted' them... To the point where they would actually let them have some of theirs because they had so many. And then we got into accessories... And the funny thing is, I enjoyed all this. ME!!! I HATE BARBIES!! So politically incorrect, ugh! But isn't it great, all those tiny great fitting clothes - they could wear rags btw and still look gorgeous. And the cool boots and hats, and the tweed purses... I got really into it. We even bought clothes hangers for them. And, as a result of all this fashion stuff I started to think about fabrics again, and pulled out my sewing machine and my patterns... Who says kids can't suck you into their passions...  IP: Logged |
Gemini Nymph
Knowflake Posts: 2216
From:
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted October 01, 2005 09:59 PM
Well, I think kids should have toys that engage them. So yeah, it's about the kid and not the parent. I am not so concerned about gender neutral toys, aside from that all kids should have them available to play with. These often are toys that develop spatial, problem-solving and reasoning skills (but not all), which is beneficial for either boys or girls. I had dolls, but graviated towards gender neutral toys. I liked blocks, legos, stuffed animals, books and music. But I have Asperger's Syndrome so I developed a bit differently for other girls. At that age, I was developing langauge and spatial skills far more rapidly than neurotypical chidlren (I taught myself to read by 4, even though I didn't understand many of the words I read - it's called hyperlexia, adnd is common with AS). This meant my mind was busy doign that instead of developing social skills, including my understanding of gender roles. I don't think I began figuring out gender roles into after puberty. But that's how it goes with AS kids. IP: Logged |
Mystic Gemini
Knowflake Posts: 1973
From: New York City
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted October 01, 2005 10:12 PM
I still have my old Barbies.
------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra *´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ * Lost in the peace of serenity
Blind my eyes I cannot see
Lost my soul but found my heart
Again a time, when I shall start IP: Logged |
aqua
Knowflake Posts: 2805
From: dreamland
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 02, 2005 03:41 AM
that is so sweet!!!!!!!!!  i too still had my old barbies!!!safe on my cubbord !! ~proxieme~ i love ur daughter !!!! she is marvously so sweet!!!
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AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 11943
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted October 02, 2005 04:04 AM
I had a doll as a kid. I have a pic of me in girl's clothes, too. I did have an older sister, though. When we moved to a street that had other boys my age when I was 4, I got more into the boy games. Lots of guns, sports, and smear the queer.IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted October 02, 2005 11:35 AM
Not sure if I really wanna ask this.... but what's smear the queer?IP: Logged |
Sun_Scorpion
Knowflake Posts: 1768
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted October 02, 2005 01:07 PM
Sounds nasty LS...IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 11943
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted October 02, 2005 02:14 PM
Smear the queer is really just an excuse for kids to tackle one another. There's a ball, and whoever has the ball gets tackled. Once you get tackled you throw the ball up and another person gets a chance to get tackled.IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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