How do you cope with judgement?

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Author	Topic: How do you cope with judgement?
thirteen Knowflake Posts: 1107 From: Rochester Hills, MI USA Registered: May 2004	posted October 16, 2005 12:27 PM I have a big issue with this. I found out my old boss said I was an air-head. Now first of all Im blonde so some people will always see a blonde as an airhead. I have a light, funny side that I do show from time to time. His comments did not stop me from getting my promotion but I can't stop obsessing over it. I have no idea how to deal with this. Im a virgo, very down to earth, very business like and very conservative so how the hell do you get airhead from that????? REALLY ****** ME OFF. How do you deal with judgement? IP: Logged
sue g Knowflake Posts: 8591 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted October 16, 2005 12:46 PM He sounds like a dickhead to me (sorry couldnt resist judging him back for YOU)...... Errrr....he probably fancies you or he is jealous of you in some way...... How would I deal with it......well try and keep a sense of humour, and altho its hard to remember, he is the airhead of course......prob has a small member as well.....I would try and slag him in a funny way......dont let him away with it..... He didnt say this to yer face did he......you know what I would do in a very gentle and direct way...I would approach him and ask him why he called you that..you may find you then feel pleasantly unburdened. If you aint working for him again.....just before you walk away from him, you may want to turn around and say to him with a very sweet smile on yer face "and by the way its funny you should say that about me....cos I was thinking at the same time what a dickhead you were.....airhead versus dickhead.....hahahaha"....... Failing that....give me his phone number and I will call him for for you girl.......LOL !!!! Good luck with this......he sounds like a horrible and chauvenistic person.....but if you remember men that make comments like this normally are inadequate in some way.....and YOU are not !!!! Love Sue xxx IP: Logged
Svetlana Knowflake Posts: 254 From: USA Registered: Jul 2005	posted October 16, 2005 03:12 PM Hi thirteen, One way to deal with judgement is to remember that it's just an opinion. Not a truth or a fact. Just one person's opinion more often than not based on something from his/her past and has nothing to do with real you. ------------------ We are the ones we've been waiting for. IP: Logged
thirteen Knowflake Posts: 1107 From: Rochester Hills, MI USA Registered: May 2004	posted October 16, 2005 05:28 PM Thank you sue and svetlana. Sue Im still laughing at your post, a lot of which I think is true. He is inadequate, but i won't go into all the ways. At christmas time I will see him at a company party. He always comes over to me, hugs me hello and so on. Im going to try to come up with just the right comment then, to let him know i knew what he said all these months and didn't react to it. If he say's anything about the new job then Ill say, not bad for an airhead eh? He will probably realize that I saw the email he sent to one of my new bosses. Thats how I found out, i read it in the new guy's email. I think you are right about him. One day I heard him talking on the phone to a woman manager. Everyone says she is good but some don't like her either. After the call, he looked over at the other guy in the room and said. " that lying ***** " He did not know I heard. I remember thinking at the time that that was an unfair comment, and that she would probably not like that. Oh well, its been few weeks and it doesn't hurt as much as it did at first. Part of me wants revenge and part of me wants so bad not to care what others think, but I do. IP: Logged
Gemini Nymph Knowflake Posts: 2216 From: Registered: Jul 2004	posted October 16, 2005 05:37 PM As gem with Virgo rsing, I can sympathize. I hate it when people make unfair or erroneous assumptions of me. It's even worse if they vocalize them. If there's some creedence to their comment - like, "dmn she's can be a-hole!" - I'm OK with that. I don't care what people think about me as long as it's not false information. It's when they're off mark that I want to get in their face, wag my Geminian-Virgoan finger at them and let loose my Aqua Mars on their behinds. They don't say the Mercurial signs are class A++ btches for nothing. But if I can't get in their face, I do tend to dwell on it more than I should. So I try to vent and move on. I hate carrying that cr*p around with me. Idiots like that aren't worth my time and energy. IP: Logged
Aphrodite Knowflake Posts: 4992 From: Registered: Feb 2002	posted October 16, 2005 06:22 PM It sounds like you still work in the same company with him . . . I know it feels yucky that somebody said that. I don't know if you work in a corporate environment that's highly political. In which case, my rule of thumb is don't stab those co-workers in the back or front - no matter what. Revenge like Sue's rendition is tempting - but late and stoops lowly to his level - my truthful opinion. People will find out anyway and someone important to your career may relate to what you did - but will probably weigh in on the judgement that business is business and it's not professional to engage in this sort of conduct. IP: Logged
geminstone Knowflake Posts: 1007 From: Golden, CO Registered: Nov 2004	posted October 18, 2005 12:58 PM Gemini Nymph,.. hehehe, love your sense of humor!! Thirteen,.. just remember one thing,... this is what I learned and use... When they are perfect,... maybe I'll care! I stress maybe!! ~ geminstone IP: Logged
artlovesdawn Knowflake Posts: 1177 From: Registered: Jul 2005	posted October 19, 2005 12:52 AM .. IP: Logged
BlueTopaz124 Knowflake Posts: 1382 From: Portland, OR Registered: Jan 2004	posted October 19, 2005 01:06 AM thirteen - you have the right idea...to engage him in a light, friendly and professional conversation, let the topic roll around to your promotion, and very sweetly and lightly before walking away say "I'd say it's not bad for an airhead" Have no tone of malice whatsover in your voice. It will sound like you're poking fun at yourself, but if he's sharp and is listening will realize what hit him after you've gone on with your day. Laura IP: Logged
thirteen Knowflake Posts: 1107 From: Rochester Hills, MI USA Registered: May 2004	posted October 19, 2005 12:31 PM Thank you all . I love these responses. I guess Im going to have to come to the conclusion that it is ok to be an airhead sometimes. IP: Logged
fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 9809 From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Mar 2005	posted October 19, 2005 01:06 PM Well thirteen.... you called me crazy some months back. It felt weird because I had never spoken to you. I still do not know if you were being funny ha ha....or mean. I Have not responded to your posts because of that. So how do I respond to judgement? I guess like that...I often just avoid the person. But you posted on Sue g's thread...so I thought...why not? Just ask what thirteen meant! Maybe if I ask instead of avoiding...but only when I am not sure of the intent of the judgement....I might learn something...good or bad. But at least I will not be ignoring it or the person until I know how the judgement was intended to be taken. So...your turn.... IP: Logged
thirteen Knowflake Posts: 1107 From: Rochester Hills, MI USA Registered: May 2004	posted October 19, 2005 04:31 PM Fate. I honestly don't think I called you crazy. Can you tell me when and where ? i gotta run..more tomorrow IP: Logged
AcousticGod Knowflake Posts: 11943 From: Pleasanton, CA, USA Registered: May 2005	posted October 19, 2005 04:37 PM I'm far too sensitive about judgment from some people. A numerology report I did for myself suggested that THIS very issue is the biggest challenge of my life. It makes sense. I've felt unable to accomplish anything, because I don't have the strength of conviction that I am doing the right thing for myself. I let other people's thoughts and judgments affect what I do, and it's not good. Now I'm trying a new way of going about a goal where I don't tell a soul about it. I'm completely ok with some people's judgments, because their own character prevents their judgment from holding any meaning --their judgment comes as a result of some mental handicap they have. That defect of character plays out through Karma throughout their life, so why worry? IP: Logged
sue g Knowflake Posts: 8591 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted October 19, 2005 04:44 PM Hey Fayte I get called crazy quite a LOT.......and I quite like it.....am I weird LOL !!!???? I think in some instances it can be taken as quite a compliment, like being eccentric or something......maybe......? Are you okay girl ? xxx IP: Logged
fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 9809 From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Mar 2005	posted October 19, 2005 05:11 PM I think it was not meant to be an insult but not sure. I think it was after talking to Christina... but since thirteen does not remember! I will consider it as a compliment or a funny! I was an internet newbie then...did not get that folks joke alot. I am usually sooooo serious! Here at LL I am starting to understand humor! Never was very good at it! It just always seemed not honest somehow. But now I am getting it! AM I? IP: Logged
ListensToTrees Knowflake Posts: 3844 From: Infinity Registered: Jul 2005	posted October 19, 2005 05:43 PM How do you cope with judgement?! Ignore it! NO-ONE has the RIGHT to be the judge except God! (Limited by words, faces etc- we have all forgotten how to FEEL soul energy....only an omnipresent being who has the power to read your entire mind, heart and soul can have the right to judge!!!!!!!) Sorry to jump in a bit deep there, but I hate judgement- I see it as all part of the web of entanglement and pain in the world! Just adding my 'two cents'! IP: Logged
thirteen Knowflake Posts: 1107 From: Rochester Hills, MI USA Registered: May 2004	posted October 19, 2005 07:55 PM Fayte i am serious, maybe i said something intended to be funny but it is not like me to go calling people names on the internet. For the sake of your point I do not think you are crazy. I think you have had some crazy experiences and sometimes I feel you are beyond me in the spiritual sense. You are more spiritually advanced then I will ever be. I don't always relate to your experiences but I love to read about them. IP: Logged
fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 9809 From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Mar 2005	posted October 19, 2005 10:39 PM thirteen! IP: Logged
sue g Knowflake Posts: 8591 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted October 20, 2005 09:18 AM Fayte, Thirteen and everyone here.......... Laughter is the best medicine.....I even make MYSELF laugh these days......HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA...... IP: Logged
fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 9809 From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Mar 2005	posted October 20, 2005 11:36 AM OOOOHHHH Sue! I do agree! . IP: Logged

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