posted October 26, 2005 03:17 PM         

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posted June 09, 2005 08:41 PM
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Dear High Commissioner Azalaksh, please read attached resume as I am applying for the position of Vice High Commisssioner.
I have never sign or gender bashed on L.L.!
I am too niave, I don't even know my own sign charactoristics! Therefore, I feel I can do an even better job than any of the other deputies and possibly yourself! Please consider my resume as the best one you'll ever read. I don't require a uniform because I'm invisable. No salary is needed as I am independantly poor and prefer to keep it that way. I have six legs and five arms so multitasking is not a problem. I hope only having one eye won't be a problem. Left and third one do not work. Why have a holiday when you can work??? What can I offer the Co.? Nothing! That's the beauty of it all, I'm niave. I do have concerns about a time clock though. I prefer to not punch in so I won't have to punch out. I wouldn't want to interfere with quantum mechanics and my destiny.
Thank You for considering my reference, I look forward to working with you.
Sincerely, Philbird.

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posted June 09, 2005 09:20 PM
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Philbird, ROFLMFAO!!!
With a resume like that, you are a shoo-in and GUARANTEED a position as Vice High Commissioner, or maybe High Commissioner of Vice? You pick!
You'll find Headquarters is a really laidback easygong place to work -- there is NO Time Clock, heaven forbid, and we are all out on the beat anyway.....and besides, since you're invisible, no one will ever know! What intriguing possibilities that opens up! No worries about the one-eyed thing, there is NO discrimination in the Generalizations Police Squad! But please get that 3rd eye checked by a qualified Tibetan lama -- we need your insights whole and unblemished!
I doubt that I can even begin to check your references with 2,627 posts behind you, so since you have been around the block more times than HC Zala, I suspend the requirement for background checks.
Welcome to The Force, Philbird!! Now, what about your badge emblem, and have you decided on a uniform? Even if we can't see you, we can see it.....
And, most important of all, I would like to have your stats: Sun/Asc/Moon + whatever else you are willing to publicly divulge.
Be careful out there!
'Z

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posted October 26, 2005 10:00 PM         

Your quite the LADY!!!

posted October 27, 2005 02:33 PM         

Dear Zala,
My time away from LL has been spent furthering my training. You may now call me "Kernal" High Commissioner of Vices.
I now know who killed JFK.
I found Monica Lewinski's shirt.
I've been a King and a Queen and everything in between.
I was a fly on the wall at the Whitehouse when the CIA operative's name was leaked.
Albert Einstien used "Cliff's Notes."
Abducted? Of course!
Got to touch John Holmes's Thingy.
I know the answer to "If a tree falls in..."
I was a tree, I fell.
I met His Holiness The Dali Lama and couldn't understand a word he said!
I changed my birth sign, I am now a Gila Monster in the thirteenth house.
Blonds DO have more fun!
Won the $340 Million dollar lottery, except someone stole my ticket. I hate it when that happens!
Sincerly,
Kernal High Commissioner of Vices and New Divices, and some spices. That's what little girls are made of.